Title: Dreams (1/2)
Author: Elizabeth L. Iacono (RhiaRamsay@aol.com)
Rating: PG
Category: Story, Romance, Humor
Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance
Spoilers: Ascension, Detour, The End, FTF, Triangle,
Arcadia
Summary: Scully decides she wants to get to know
Mulder better.
Archive: Not Gossamer! (I already sent it there)
Otherwise, nywhere, just send me an e-mail saying
where.
This is a cross between a post-ep for Arcadia and
another idea I had for Mulder seeing a different
side of Scully. This side of Scully may seem out
of character, but this is the side of her that isn't
seen on screen, so it just might be totally different.
I also remember reading that Gillian Anderson has
Her belly button pierced, so I kinda worked that in.
That and the fact I couldn't resist using the song
'Dreams' by the Cranberries in another fanfic.
Feedback: Please? I'm pretty new at doing first
person stories. The addy is RhiaRamsay@aol.com
Disclaimer: Hmmm, this is a really tough question.
Is the answer 'They are mine.'? BZZZZZZZZ!!!! Sorry
wrong answer. The correct answer is Scully, Mulder,
and anyone else connected with the TV show 'The X-Files'
belongs to CC, 1013, and Fox.
Rhia McIntyre is mine, though.
Dreams
Elizabeth L. Iacono
Would it be so bad?
To be married to Mulder, I mean. We just finished
up a case where we had to go undercover as husband and
wife. For days we lived in the same house, ate our meals
together, basically did almost everything as a couple.
And you know what?
I liked it. I mean really liked it. Liked it enough
to want it to happen again and again. There's so many
things I want us to do together besides work. The
little things, like going for a walk, or enjoying
some quiet time just with each other. Or using my
bed for something other than sleeping.
Okay, I can't deny, at least to myself, that I
want him. To others though, I'm pretty sure the
phrase 'just friends' came up more than once. So
what if I was lying through my teeth...
See, what I really want is to get to know Mulder.
Not the part of him that he shows for work, that's a
shell, just like my own. Not the part of him that
for some reason trusts Diana the Fowl over me.
That's another sore point, I'm not letting him
off the hook for that one so easily; I'm still
pissed off. But I think a little of that anger
seeped into my portrayal of 'Laura Petrie' when I
should have been enjoying the situtation for all it
was worth, and so I was a little cold towards Mulder.
Hey, six years of carefully built trust shattered by
that-that-person coming into our lives and I'm going
to be a little mad.
What I want to get to know is the part of him
that cuts work to go play basketball with the guys,
the part away from work. We're each other's best
friends, we know almost everything about each
other-except for the little things.
I don't know what his favorite color is, favorite
food, little things like that. I bet I could make a
pretty good guess from what I know of him already, but
I'd much rather hear it directly from his mouth, that
truly gorgeous mouth. To be perfectly fair he doesn't
know the little things about me either, but I'm more
than willing to open up.
Like about my car. Ever since the good old days
(my God, did I really just say that?) at Maryland
University I've had a black 1968 Mustang Convertible.
And, yes, I know enough about car maintenance to keep
it in good condition. That car has been with me
through almost everything. It's a great stress relief
to go driving with the top down. I used it during my
Med School finals, when I had broken up with Jack Willis,
the numerous times I believed Mulder was dead, when I found
out I had cancer, when I found out I was in remission, you
get the idea. There is nothing better than speeding
along with the music that fits the mood.
That's another thing Mulder doesn't know about
me-my passion for music. Hey, he has his videos,
I've got my music. So what if I can't sing, it's
just one of those things. Music has been an influence
ever since I was a little kid. I've no clue why. My
parents weren't really music fans, the only records
they had was the one of 'Beyond the Sea' and various
Christmas albums. Otherwise they usually just flipped
on the radio.
I've got a rather substantial collection right
now-everything from old Chicago ones to the Beastie
Boys Licensed To Ill (that one was a gift, but it's
good for a laugh) to the soundtrack to the Little
Mermaid (I happen to like that movie. It's truly
romantic) and Hole's newest, Celebrity Skin
(another gift, but I took a liking to it).
Speaking of music, it's been over two weeks
since I've been to Raven, a little music store
halfway between my home and Mulder's where I get
all my music. I should check in with Rhia to see
what the new releases are.
Rhiannon McIntyre, better known as Rhia, is the
cashier at Raven's, and probably one of my closest
woman friends. We met a little over four years ago,
right after I'd returned from my abduction. Rhia was
the new cashier, 18 years old and in the middle of her
freshman year at Georgetown. We hit it off quite well,
actually Rhia is applying for Quantico after she gets
her masters in psychology. If she goes in for the job
of profiler, she'd be a match for most in the division,
but I don't think anyone'll ever beat Mulder in that
department. She asked a lot of questions about the
FBI, but in return she also helped me loosen up a little.
I've now learned the value of spending a good girls night
out at a club. It can be very good for stress release too,
although none of the guys I see there, while very good
looking and more than willing to get to know me, can ever
compare to Mulder.
She was a big help to me after my cancer. After
being so prepared to die it was hard learning how to
live again. But Rhia managed to pull me out of my
little funk, which Mulder didn't even pick up on (which
in retrospect I'm actually grateful for), and drag me
out for a day of shopping. I usually don't like
shopping that much, but that day we just had fun. It
felt good to be alive again.
I remember Mulder's face when I walked in the
next day. He looked surprised and very happy to
see me looking happier than I'd been in weeks.
Though I wonder what he would have said if he saw
my newly pierced belly button, which luckily does
not set off metal detectors.
I guess it was just another step in our dance.
For years we'd dance, getting closer and pushing
each other away in a long winding pattern. Right
now we're trying to become closer once more. This
last case brought it to the forefront and pointed
out to me that in order to end this dance we were
going to have to become closer than ever before.
And I am most certainly looking forward to
the challenge. I'm nearly certain he feels the
same way, he did tell me 'I love you' once, and
even though at the time I was trying to convince
myself he was drugged, I know perfectly well he
wasn't. I guess I just wasn't ready then.
But I'm ready now. I hope to God he is.
Of course I'm going to run this by Rhia first.
She'll either talk me out of it or kick me in the ass
right to his doorstep. Probably option number two.
She's been muttering the words 'Kiss him already you
fool' under her breath whenever I'd bring the subject
of Mulder up. I looked down at myself in a pair of
boxers and a T-shirt. It's 7 p.m. Saturday night,
all I had planned was seeing Ben Affleck guest host
Saturday Night Live and a big tub of Cookie Dough
ice cream.
I hauled myself off the couch and walked into
my bedroom. If I was going to go out, even if it
was just to Raven, I might as well look good doing
it. First, I tossed open the window to check the
temperature. At the first gust of wind I slammed
it back down again. It was way too cold to wear
anything skimpy.
Skimpy? a little voice piped up in my conscience.
Who are we really dressing for here, Dana? it asked.
Could it be someone by the name of Fox Mulder, maybe?
I rubbed my forehead. It was too late for denial.
If I was going to go through with this I should be
honest. Of course I was dressing for him, I was
going to go over to his apartment, regardless of
who else could be in there (but I highly doubted
that, we both lived the lives of monks) and tell
him how I felt about him. And a little added benefit
of a knockout outfit couldn't hurt at all.
After a good fifteen minutes debating with myself
(that's longer than I usually spend getting ready for
work) I found a decent outfit. It was a pair of slim
bootleg jeans with a fitted black blouse with three
quarter sleeves that was unbuttoned halfway so you
could see my stomach and the piercing.
Next-makeup. As a general rule I never wear a
lot of makeup, it just feels weird on my face. But
I have found that using just some powder to cover up
those damn freckles, some black liquid eyeliner,
mascara, and the perfect shade of dark red lipstick
with a golden shimmer to it works wonders for me.
I looked at myself one last time in the mirror,
and grinned. I didn't look like Dana Scully, FBI
Agent anymore. I looked like just Dana Scully.
Though I bet you could attach the phrase 'woman
in love' to the end of that and it would still be
perfect. "Mulder's never going to know what hit
him," I said out loud to the empty bedroom, and
walked to the front door.
I pulled my own black leather jacket out of
the closet by the door. It actually looks quite
like Mulder's. Coincidence? Maybe. But if you
buy that then you've got the bridge real cheap
too. Yep, Dana Scully was a woman head over
heels in love.
In the garage that I rented my car was still
there, luckily not stolen by any of the shady
characters that roam the Annapolis area. Judging
by the fact that I could see my breath constantly,
this was not the night to go driving with the top
down. I was out to change my future with Mulder,
I didn't need to face it with a runny nose and sneezing.
I pulled out into the street and headed towards
Raven. I smiled into the light of the taillights
of the cars ahead of me. Deep inside I knew today
was the day my life was going to change. For the
better. I reached over to the CD Player I had
installed into the older car. Pushing the button
I finally decided on the Hole CD.
At first the speakers were silent, but then
the sound swelled and an electric guitar played
a short length of sound.
"Oh make me over
I'm all I wanna be,
A walking study
In Demonology"
Before I could control myself I began singing
along. I paused for a second, but then figured no
one else was here, why the hell shouldn't I sing?
Besides, the last time I really sang was for Mulder
in the Florida woods, and then I had sung truly
horribly on purpose for making me sing in the
first place.
By the time 'Malibu' finished, I pulled up in
front of Raven. It looks pretty nondescript on the
outside, one glass window next to the door, set on
the ground level of a small apartment building. The
owner of Raven, Jeff Riviera, lived on the top floors.
I brought the car around to the alley next to the
apartment building. It was probably the safest place
to park it, even though we were in a pretty upscale
area. I'm allowed to be paranoid. I think it's a
nice car and I bet there are plenty of other people
who think so too.
I pushed open the door, setting the wind chime
tacked onto there ringing. Rhia looked up from her
perch behind the counter with a slightly weary
expression, but then changed into an actual smile.
"Hey Dana!" she cried out. "How ya doing?"
Looking at the younger girl I began to smile
again, an expression familiar on my face tonight.
Then I got a better look at Rhia. Her hair was yet
another color, this time a dark blue-black that
contrasted sharply against her Irish skin. I think
her original color was something close to mine, but
she's changed it so many times since I've known her
I forget which is which. "I have to check the new
releases," I said, going behind the counter and
sliding myself onto a stool identical to Rhia's.
Rhia bent over and pulled out a sheet of paper.
"Okay, here you go, but be warned, there's not much
that's real good this time," she grimaced.
"That's okay, I've got to talk to you anyway,"
I said and set the paper down on the counter.
"About what," she said with a slight grin in her
voice. She must have caught the gleam in my eyes when
I walked in the door because she immediately followed
my line of thinking. "This is about Mulder, isn't it?"
I just nodded. I had no clue how the hell I
was going to tell her this one. I had never admitted
to her that I was in love with him. Wanting to jump
his bones-that's pure lust. But love...
She placed her hand over mine comfortingly.
"What happened?" she asked softly. I exhaled sharply
and began to relay our adventures as a married couple
in Stepfordville. When I finished I slumped against
wall bonelessly, almost falling off the stool. I
wasn't up for interpretation then, but Rhia forged
ahead and gave me her opinion. "So what you're
basically saying is that you liked pretending to
be married to him, and maybe want to give that a
try in real life. If not marriage then a real
relationship."
I arched an eyebrow at her. "Close to that."
I was incredibly grateful she hadn't brought up the
topic of love. I might be ready to admit it to
myself and to Mulder but to no one else. I could
tell Rhia was dying to ask me some more questions
but I'm sure the look on my face prevented her.
"You know, you need some music that reminds
you of Mulder right now," she said. I groaned
and began to rub my forehead. "Look, your feelings
obviously have to do with him, that's a given, so
maybe this might help you work through your thoughts.
What was that song you said reminded you of him?"
"'Nobody but Me', and it wasn't the whole song,
just certain parts," I said, trying to stop her, but
before I could protest anymore Rhia put the Save
Ferris disk in. The song began and I let my mind
drift on the sounds of the ska music.
"I was on the outside
Trying to find my way back in
You were the answer
I was searching for, my friend
Life is crazy when you're
Always in your own
It's amazing when you
Realize that you're not alone
I should have known
A long time ago that
You were the one for me
I let my ego bring me down
And that's what blinded me
Life is crazy when you
Don't know what you've done
And I'm a fool to think that
There could be
Someone else
When I know
There's no other one
I said baby
What are you doing
Who are you fooling
Nobody but me
I said baby
Give me some time
To change your mind
Come back to me
I was nothing before you
But I became so strong
When everything was going right
I had to make it wrong
Life is crazy
When you let things slip away
And now I'm sorry
Ever since the day
You went away
I didn't mean to hurt you so
I never wanted you to go
Now there's nothing I can do
I spend my time
Late at night
Thinking only, about you
I said baby
What are you doing
Who are you fooling
Nobody but me
I said baby
Give me some time
To change your mind
Come back to me
Ever since you went away
I haven't been the same
Now there's nothing I can do
I was on the outside
Tryin' to find my way
Back in
And now I'm right back
There again
Life is crazy when you
Find you're all alone
But now maybe
You can change your mind
And come back home to me
Come back to me
Oh baby won't you
Please come back"
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END PART ONE