Title: The Dark Side Of The Moon
Author: Elizabeth L. Iacono
Rating: PG
Category: Vignette, Angst
Keywords:
Spoilers: Requiem
Summary: While trapped on the alien ship,
Mulder believes he's going crazy.
Yes, I know, more post-requiem fodder, but
give it a try, please?
Yet another fic inspired by a song. This is
what happens when I listen to one too many songs
when I should be doing my history homework. Oh
well, this is much more interesting than reading
about the constitution in my opinion.
Disclaimer: Mulder and anyone else XF related
are not mine.
Archive: anywhere and everywhere, Gossamer,
Spookys, Legacy, and Xemplary
especially, anyone else please
send me a little note to
tell me where it's going.
Feedback: if you'd like to send any, please send
it to me at RhiaRamsay@aol.com
The Dark Side Of The Moon
Elizabeth L. Iacono
The place that Mulder was in had no sense of
direction about it. He couldn't tell whether he
was upside down or right side up. There was
nothing to touch, nothing to hear, nothing to
see. All that was there was everlasting
blackness. He supposed he might have been
unconscious, but at least when he was unconscious
he had dreams.
He didn't sleep anymore. Granted, he hadn't
slept much before, but because his sense of time
was now skewed, he couldn't remember the last
time he slept.
Actually, yes he could. It was so clear
to him, playing over and over behind his eyelids.
He could see himself and Scully, lying there on
his bed, relishing those last few hours before
he would be returning to Oregon. If he knew what
he knew now, he wouldn't have left that bed. He
would have just stayed there, buried under the
covers, clutching Scully's body to his, and not
leaving no matter what.
Little memories like that kept playing
around in his head, an attempt to keep him
sane in the perpetual blackness where nothing
existed. But as time passed the memories began
changing. Maybe not quite changing, but his head
was creating new scenarios, things that Mulder
almost began to believe were true.
He could have sworn he was taking a walk
on the moon, seeing and hearing the grey moon
dust crunching and swirling with each step.
He saw himself staring up at the stars above,
watching them dance across the velvet sky. It
was a different type of blackness than the
choking one of where he was. Neither blackness
was what he wanted to see though.
He imagined that his body turned up
somewhere on earth, and he watched as he
was put through the autopsy, the funeral
preparations, all the way through til they
laid his body in the ground. What was scary
was that he envisioned Scully following right
after him, her own gravestone next to his.
Then there were times when the blackness
would come back, and his mind couldn't formulate
things to distract him (considering the distractions
though, he wasn't sure he wanted them). He hated
the blackness, wished that he could just leave it
behind and never look back. But he reminded himself
that it was all for Scully, that she would have
probably ended up here if it wasn't him. Better
him than her, she had much more to live for, he
knew. He didn't quite know why he thought that,
but he did.
In time, it could have been days or years,
Mulder began to think he was going crazy, losing
his faculties for sanity. If he was thinking
straight he would have realized that the fact
that he was thinking he was going crazy was a
sign that he was not going crazy. But psychology
tenets were not what one would think of while in
his situation.
A new scene popped up in his head, so real
that it scared him and the lines between what he
knew as reality and dreamland began to blur. This
time he was returned to Earth, but he couldn't
recognize himself. He couldn't recognize anything
he once knew. His worst nightmare had happened,
he had gone crazy. They put him in a mental
hospital, leaving him to his own mutterings that
were directed only at the padded walls surrounding
him. He could see Scully through the small window
in the door. She was standing there talking to the
doctors, and holding a small boy of about two or
three in her arms. He felt himself reach out to
her, wanting desperately to feel her hand grasping
his. But all she would do was stare sadly at him
and walk away.
He remembered all things that they did for
each other, how they helped and supported each
other whenever they needed it, even though some
times it didn't seem like it. The things they
had confided to each other, the love they shared,
so many things. He wondered after all of that
how she could leave him in such a place.
Suddenly things changed. The scene stopped,
and the blackness took on a different tone than
it had previously. It almost felt like it was
shivering and pulsating, as if it were a living
being. Eventually the shivering stopped, and he
felt himself lying on a hard surface.
Were they performing tests again, he
wondered? At the beginning, when he was first
taken, tests had been performed on him and the
other abductees, trying to do god-knows-what to
them. It was impossible to stop them though, so
he steeled himself and waited for the pain to begin.
However instead of feeling pain, the only
thing that happened was a bright flash of light,
so bright that Mulder could see it through the
blackness that surrounded him. Right after that,
hands came to him, touching and tugging at him.
He didn't think they were human, they felt far
too smooth and undefined to be that, almost
leathery, and the shape was less defined.
But it wasn't anything he had encountered so
far, and it worried him.
The hands, and he used the term loosely,
laid him out on another table, although this
one had the same smooth texture as the hands
did. He wondered for a second if it was made
of whatever skin the creatures were made of,
and he shuddered reflexively. The table was
oddly shaped though, with an extra piece of
the material standing straight up at his side,
pressing against his left arm and leg. He was
surprised he could actually feel it, and although
he was frightened, the sense of touch comforted
and reassured him.
And that's when the soundtrack started.
The sound of a guitar began to penetrate through
the blackness surrounding him. He marveled at
the almost foreign sound, not having heard any
music in ages. He could make out a guitar being
plucked, and a rapid, rhythmic drumbeat.
Eventually he began to make out words...
...I watched the world fall to the dark side
of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something
to do with you
I really don't mind what happens now
and then
as long as you'll be my friend in the end...
...Maybe the music was there to stimulate his
thoughts. It certainly was in him at least. He
wondered that if, when this whole ordeal was over
and he was finally home, would Scully still be
friends with him. No matter what had happened
in the past with them they had remained friends.
More recently they had remained more than friends.
Would they still have that when he got back from
wherever he was taken...
...you call me strong you call me weak
but still your secrets I will keep
you took for granted all the times I
never let you down
you stumbled in and bumped your head
if not for me then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back on
solid ground...
...She had done all that and more for him,
keeping him alive in situations that would have
killed him if not for her presence. The things he
told her, the things that he knew and shared with
her in times of strength and weakness, she had
kept secret, knowing that no one else should be
a party to them...
...if I go crazy then will you still call
me superman
if I'm alive and well will you be there
holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my
superhuman might
kryptonite...
...Would she be there if he went crazy? He was
certain he was three-quarters of the way there
already, with all the things his mind was making
up for him to see. Between that, the blackness,
and the tests, he felt he was frighteningly close
to the edge of sanity.
With a sharp jerk, the music stopped and he felt
himself move. They were probably moving him to
another area of the ship. This one seemed like
they were populated with a different species, now
the hands felt rubbery and warm, tugging
uncomfortably at his skin. He was floating
along, another table-like thing under his back.
There were more bright lights flashing through
the darkness, in an almost regular fashion. Maybe
they're testing my eyes now, he wondered.
The movement stopped, and his stomach, even
though he couldn't remember the last time he'd had
food in it, became slightly queasy at the sudden
movement. Things began to move quickly around
him, with something going over his mouth and
blocking his air supply, and hands prodding
almost everywhere on his body, checking for
what, he didn't know.
There was a sudden strong pinch on his arm,
and he groaned in response, feeling the pain
radiate throughout his limb. His head began to
spin though, dizziness taking over his brain.
And for the first time in a long time, Mulder
was truly unconscious.
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When Mulder regained consciousness, he was in
a totally different place. But it was a place that
was infinitely familiar-a hospital room. An Earth
hospital room.
He realized he was still in blackness, but this
time it was a blackness of his own making. His eyes
were shut, and although he was conscious he wasn't
sure he had the energy to open them, he was that
tired. He did realize something though.
Scully was in the room with him.
What tipped him off was the smell. He could
smell her perfume, the light fragrance she
normally wore, was close by him. Right under
that perfume was the smell of her skin, the smell
that he had acquainted himself with over the seven
year period that they had known each other, and
the smell that he learned intimately during their
nights of sharing a bed and each other, her skin
pressed so close to his.
He could feel her hand holding his tightly,
covering the back of it with her fingers entwined
through his. The textured and very human skin
warmed his. His own hand was resting on something
he couldn't quite place. It was fabric covered,
but it felt almost alive. From beneath it there
was a pulsing, staccato movement, almost like
kicking, pressing into his hand every so often.
Whatever it was, it felt like home.
As best as he could through his tiredness
he smiled, hoping that she would see it on his
face. He squeezed his fingers around hers, trying
to convey to her that he was so glad that he was
with her once more. And with that he fell asleep,
the first real sleep he'd had in a long time,
still smiling.
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This is what happens when I listen to the
song 'Kryptonite' for half an hour straight.
*g* If you haven't noticed, the song mentioned
here is definitely 'Kryptonite', and belongs to
Three Doors Down.
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'True love, it's the greatest thing
in the world.'
Miracle Max
The Princess Bride
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'Men will fight bravely and be heroes,
but for a last ditch defense against any
odds, get a mother.'
The Defender
High Wizardry
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'This is the Fish Patrol in 201. Our
flying fish has flown away. In fact,
things are so rotten around here that
even the pigs won't stay! But we'll
fight to the bitter end! Beware
the Fish!'
Bruno Walton
Beware The Fish
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