I will not buy this record, it is scratched.

Stuff

Well, I'm back and can finally get on to updating this page. Though I won't be doing anything major with this particular update, the next one will be quite large. In theory anyway. So Jo, you can stop complaining. Your column (and Nye's) will be gone in the next one to be replaced by new columns. With this update though, you'll find new quotes and a new question, as well as a little more in my top 10 section, thought there's still quite a bit to do to that. Also, I'm dropping the photo story. It was a nice idea, but it just wasn't working, and probably would've grown quite

Lightsabers The page where I take a look at the various lightsaber fights from the Star Wars saga. Links Pretty much what it says: a page of links. Literature Stories, songs and poems written by myself and my friends and family. Quotes An archive of all the quotes ever used in the quotes section on the front page. Street Fighter Information on my favourite computer game series. Superheroes Superhero stuff. Top 10's I count down various things in several different top 10 lists.

tedious after a while. It will be replaced by the photo pages that were here before, way back when this site was still shiny and new, though probably with some differences. Again though, you'll have to wait for the next update to see that. Don't forget to send me stuff for the site (e-mail it to rhoberic@hotmail.com) and sign the guestbook. It's over there, near the other things. And now, here's a few pictures to fill that space.

Quote of the week

Famous:

Friends:

Fictional:

"Apart from the film MAD MAX, is there actually ANY proof that Australia really does exist?" - Tom Cecil

"My favourite romantic couple is R2-D2 and      C-3PO. They're adorable and kooky." - Tom Hanks

"That hurt. A lot. But whatever doesn't kill me, still hurts. A lot." - Spider-Man

Trivia Time

Jo's Column

New question!: Q: Mick Jagger and David Bowie covered "Dancing in the Street" in the eighties, but who released the original sixties version? Answer coming soon. Last question: Q: What is Spider-Man's alter ego, Peter Parkers, job? A: Freelance photographer

Dunno if this is any good for your website (It'll do in a pinch - P) but here's a little song I made up when I was stuck behind two caravans on the way back from uni. When I made it up I was getting progressively more angry as

you can probably tell by the end:- Caravaners(to be sung in a Shropshire accent) Caravaners caravaners What a bunch of spanners Caravaners caravaners What a bunch of fooking spanners I'm stuck behind them in a queue Want to get to a service station to the loo Do you think if I went and gave their van a tap They'd let me jump in the back to 'ave a crap? Caravaners caravaners What a bunch of spanners Caravaners caravaners What a bunch of fooking spanners Here we are going 40 miles an hour Why don't they get a hotel with a nice warm shower? I sit here swearing at 'em all day They sit in their caravan going "Ooh summer holiday" Caravaners caravaners What a bunch of spanners Caravaners caravaners What a bunch of fooking spanners Caravaners get on my wick When I think about them it makes me sick If I ruled the world I'd have 'em all banned Chopped up into meaty chunks & canned! Caravaners caravaners What a bunch of spanners Caravaners caravaners What a bunch of fooking sapaaaaaannnnnners. (I wish to point out that this song does not necessarily reflect my views. Just Jo's. Though Dale's view was "Stop complaining and get a faster car." Jo vs Dale, round 1, starts here.- P)

Nye's Column

(Sorry Nye, I don't have a picture of you at the moment - P) Love the site Patrick. However as an animator I was quite hurt that in your comments on the Yoda vs Count Dooku battle (See the Lightsabers section - P), you failed to mention the reason Yoda is able to move like he does. One of my heroes is Rob Colemn, the animation director who spent 8... count 'em... Eight painstaking months to animate that "brief" fight. This is a triumph for digital animation and is worth noting. Keep an eye out for more of Rob Colemn and ILM's work! (Nye also provided a link to a site which shows how they created the site, but it didn't work. Sorry. - P)