Love begins when you sink into his arms and ends with your arms in his sink. Anybody who really profits from a mistake is probably receiving alimony. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. In order to get a loan, you must first prove you didn't need it. Romance starts with sentiments and ends with settlement. An idiot is a person whose I.Q. is on holiday. When the going gets tough, everyone leaves. A bird in hand is safer than one overhead. I can resist everything except temptation. Ambition is the last refuge of the failure. A closed mouth gathers no feet. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing. Express an opinion, but send advice by freight. Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. Silence is a successful substitute for lack of brains. When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate. Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about. The secret to successs is sincerity; once you can fake that, you've got it made. If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what hell is going on. Love is a game of chance. It may burn you alive if cupid's arrow hit the wrong target. As you go thru life, you're going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them. When young, you adjust your hair to the existing hair style; when old, you adjust your hair style to the existing hair. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There's no use in being a damn fool about it. RECESSION : When your neighbour loses his job. DEPRESSION: When you lose your own. |
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