Forget the MacKenzie up there. As stated, it might as well be Sanchez. She and Rafael are just sooo adorable together. But I can't believe I'm going to have to wear a dreeeeess. That's not faaaaaiiiiir.

I know that every good and excellent thing in the world stands moment by moment on the razor-edge of danger and must be fought for...
-Thornton Wilder

I started this for Liza a while ago, but things got…sidetracked. So I suppose I’ll just take it from the top again. I grew up in Wisconsin of all places, the Normality Capitol of the World. Especially compared to where I live now. I am…was…the second oldest of four sisters, and we grew up in a two parent household-for all that was worth. My father, Michael MacKenzie, is not what you would call a good man. He beat us, me and my sisters, while we were growing up. He was an influential businessman and politician, so he managed to get away with it for years. I can’t describe what it was like, living in that house of fear. To think about the things I saw makes me sick inside, to this day. A few months after my fifteenth birthday, he beat my oldest sister, Diana, to death, and things finally broke free. The authorities could ignore bruises, but not a dead body. It was a long process, but he was finally convicted of murder and put in prison for (hopefully) a very long time. I still haven’t been able to forgive him. I’m not sure I ever will.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
-Plato

Most of my life between then and coming to the realms wasn’t very interesting. I got my GED at 16, then rushed myself through college, trying to get out on my own and independent as soon as possible. My mother and I had a falling out when she decided to take my father back, so I really had nowhere else to go but away. I still love my family dearly, but I don’t think I could ever go back to them. I became a reporter, after being inspired by the acts of one--Morgan Wallace--who spent a lot of her time and money keeping my family and me safe during my father’s trial. The pursuit of the truth seemed like a very noble endeavor to me after that. I was lucky; I managed to snare a job at the Dallas Morning News right out of college. Entry level, to be sure, but it was a job that paid that was far, far away from everything I had known and wanted to get away from. I stayed in Dallas for over four years, traveling around the country from time to time for one story or another. I never really made any friends there. My social skills were so shot, it took me forever before I could even bear to say hello to people. And I certainly didn’t trust men enough to date anyone. I guess I was lonely; I didn’t really ever let myself think about it.

I wish I could tell you how I came to be in the realms, but the problem is I can’t even remember it. I know I was on a plane trip going somewhere…I think there was a storm or some other sort of trouble. It’s incredibly frustrating, trying to push though the haze in my mind and coming up with nothing. At any rate, I ended up bruised, battered, and feverish outside one of the crossroad inns. Some of the people inside were kind enough to help me out, get me something to eat, and tell me a little about the place I had fallen into. I was sure I was hallucinating for a while, but eventually the reality of things began to sink in. I was faced with two choices: collapse into screaming fits of denial, or shut up and get on with my life. I chose the latter. Even the denizens of fantastic otherworlds need a source of news and information, right? So I started plying my chosen trade in this new world, covering births and deaths, fights and truces, and all the other parts of the grand pageant we call life.

There were a lot of children running around the inns back then. I’ve always loved kids, so it was inevitable that they would finally manage to pull me out of my self-induced shell. I found my first real friends in the realms from the ranks of the children: Phlynn, Tierney, Spaz, and even Nicholas Kessell. Acquainting myself with the last one landed me in a whole other world of trouble: his grandfather, the lich Kessell, took an…interest in me. My unwillingness to use violence surprised him, and my unconditional affection and caring for Nicholas fascinated him. He chose me to be a teacher and guardian for his grandson and heir. I sort of became big sister to a vampire, of all things. Kessell…was one of the strangest beings I have ever met. He did a lot of things to me, sometimes horrible ones, just to see how I would react. And yet, he never let any real harm come to me. When he died, I was actually sad to see him go, for Nicholas’ sake at least.

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
-Muhammad Ali

Through Nicholas came other good friends too. Because of him, I met Jeremy and Aliza (the second) and Dani and Miguel. They are truly amazing people, at least in my opinion. Through them I met still others, widening my circle of friends to wondrous depths. They helped me to start feel human again, and even…happy. Miguel and I became particularly close, after a long night of talking on a New Orleans rooftop. I have always cherished that friendship. Well, except for one short period where we had a…misunderstanding. I didn’t know it at the time, but Miguel was forced by Paco’s side to do…something to make me think him truly despicable, in exchange for Paco and Thomas not…visiting me again. Emily is right; I should have listened to her. But Miguel…was just a bit too good at certain things for me to believe her at the time. I was also suffering from one of Martinique’s illnesses during those events, which didn’t help any. Suffice it to say, the day I found out about the whole thing and regained my friend’s presence in my life was one of my happiest ever.

I started to develop strange abilities while staying in Tandraia. I’ve always loved to draw; I’ve carried a sketchbook with me at all times for years. For some reason, my drawings began to exhibit strange characteristics. First, people who looked at my work would feel emotions, my emotions, the ones I was experiencing when I drew the images. Later, I found I could contact people that I drew, know what they were feeling, even talk to them from beyond the grave! I was able to talk with my sister Diana again…finally giving me the chance to say goodbye. Soon after, I was able to channel the spirits of Evelyn, Jeremy’s mother, and then Carmellina, José’s mother. I found I could place them into created bodies to give them a sort of ‘second life’, if only temporarily. The look on José’s face when he first saw Carmellina is a memory I will treasure forever. It meant a lot to me, to be able to give him that happiness. Her coming back made Paco happy as well, though I think he hated owing me anything.

While Evelyn’s return was a peaceful one, Carmellina’s was anything but. I was connected to both of them, you see. I could feel what they felt, hear what they thought. And Carmellina was still very angry about her death and her son’s paralyzation at the (accidental) hands of Miguel. The internal warfare was intense; sometimes, I had to fight with her for control of my own body! While Evelyn was around she tried to act as peacemaker, but Carmellina and I never fully got along. I cared about Miguel too much for that to happen.

Other abilities soon followed. I found to my dismay that one of my greatest magical strengths was the control and creation of fire. It was hard for me, to accept such a violent leaning to my powers. I didn’t want to become like my father, even though I had inherited a rather strong temper from him. Eventually, with the help of Calthas, I began to accept my ‘gifts’ granted to me by my skills in Earth Magic and work towards improving them. I started spending a lot of hours studying in his library, pouring through musty old tomes and researching new spells. Even with all the machinations of evil moving around us, I had found something in which I could be content, and that finally made me feel useful! I hated feeling like a freeloader, accepting protection and support without (I felt) giving much in return. Everyone told me not to worry about it, but I was glad anyway when I managed to find something I could do to help.

Art is a step from what is obvious and well-known toward what is arcane and concealed.
-Kahlil Gibran

Luckily, I didn’t spend all my time in Calthas’ library. If I had, then I never would have met Rafael. Rafael is…special. I don’t know how else to describe it. I think I knew it from the first time I saw him, though I couldn’t admit it to myself at the time. The entire issue of men and relationships was still very frightening to me. Fortunately for me, he made the first move. He and I and Nicholas (well, technically his clone, but the same spirit at least) were sitting up on that New Orleans rooftop one night, talking. I’m still not sure how we even got on the topic, but Nicholas decided to take the time to declare to Rafael that since I was a part of the Kessell family, and he was the head of that family, that Rafael would have to ask him first if he wanted to court me!

I’m not sure I’ve ever been so embarrassed, or if I ever will be again. The…sheer arrogance of that young man, to think I needed his permission. I cared for him dearly, but that was just too much! And I certainly never thought someone as…handsome, as kind, as wonderful as Rafael would ever be interested in me. I started to chide Nicholas for his presumption, blushing and hoping that Rafael wouldn’t think that I had put him up to it. But apparently Nicholas was a lot more discerning than I gave him credit for, because then Rafael came up to me and asked if I would be willing to date him! Nothing could have shocked me more.

Going against my paranoid instincts for once, I-eventually-said yes. It was probably one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made. We started meeting up on a fairly regular basis, getting to know each other better. Even though I had every intention of being cautious, of not getting my hopes up too high…I ended up falling in love with him somewhere along the way. Actually admitting that to him was one of the harder things I’ve had to do. I was petrified of rejection, of the (rather large, in my opinion) chance he didn’t share my feelings. The joyful smile he gave me was proof that I was, thankfully, wrong.

And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
-Kahlil Gibran

Occasionally I wonder if all the happiness I received caused me to accrue a huge karmic debt that had to be paid off. It’s the best explanation I have sometimes for what happened to me next. I was drawn out of the protection of the palace by a threat against my family’s safety. The person doing the threatening was a mage named Lloenth Ildche, who came from a desolate world the gods had abandoned. He wanted power--he seemed obsessed with it, in fact--and he wanted to use me and my Earth Magic to get more of it.

I didn’t like the idea. I told him so. Rather forcefully, in fact. What followed was pure, unadulterated Hell. I’ve been told I was gone nine, almost ten months. It seemed like a lot longer. I prayed every night that someone would come to rescue me, to take me home. I knew my friends wouldn’t leave me there if they could help it. But day after day of empty pain, of loneliness, of torture, started to wear me down. After a while…I just lost hope. In desperation, I tried to get out of there the last, most permanent way I could think of. It didn’t work; Lloenth just brought me back. After that, I focused on surviving. I went along with his requests for me to study, to improve my skills. It’s amazing what weeks of enforced learning will do. Every now and then, he would demand something I would not do, and I would rebel. Punishment was always swift. He never stopped trying to turn me, to make me like he was: evil. I wished sometimes he would give up on me, kill me and move on. But he never did.

Thankfully, my imprisonment did end. I have Ukini and Patrick to thank for getting me back. I owe them both so much, I don’t think I could ever pay them back. Seeing Tandraia again…it was like a dream, long forgotten, that finally came true. And then I got to surprise everyone; it turns out Patrick decided not to tell anyone but Jeremy about what he was doing. Same old Patrick. The best part was surprising Rafael…I was so afraid that I would never see him again. I thought my heart would burst with the strain of trying to deal with so much happiness. I was worried everyone would be angry with me, for leaving without telling them where or why. But they weren’t; they welcomed me back with smiles and lots of hugs. And the very best part…Rafael asked me to marry him! It turns out he bought this emerald engagement ring a while after I disappeared, and vowed he would hold onto it until I came back. I just about melted into a puddle at his feet when he told me. Of course I said yes, I’d be a fool to do otherwise. He hasn’t left my side for more than a few minutes since I came back. I had no idea anyone could be so…gentle, so caring with me. It’s a wonderful feeling.

Things are different now. I’m different now. Those months of captivity…changed me, in a lot of ways. Miguel tells me it’s up to me how much I let myself change, how much I let Lloenth control my life. Rafael has assured me that I’ll be alright, that they won’t let me get taken again. And while I know they’re right…I’m still catching myself looking over my shoulder.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
-Albert Einstein