A diamond cannot be polished without friction, nor the man perfected without trials.
-Chinese Proverb

The story of my life is one of which much must remain unspoken. My duty as a spy requires this precaution. However, I suppose that I can give some insight into my past, particularly my childhood.

I was born to a family with ten children, although I had the misfortune to be the only female, as well as the youngest. My father took pride in his line of male children, being somewhat disappointed when I was born. He was very difficult on me for this reason, I was worked very hard from a very early age. My mother did nothing much to help my situation, she was a weak woman who deferred to my father in everything. And she died five years after I was born, giving birth to another child, who also died. Another boy, of course. The loss of the baby was far more devastating to my father than the death of my mother, he often spoke of how he wished that I had been that child instead of the one before. The words stung then, as I grew I no longer paid much attention to such insults. I hardened myself to them.

My brothers were little better than my father in dealing with me, they believed in their superiority and took advantage as much as they could. Which was quite a lot considering that my father cared little about how they dealt with me. I pushed myself to become the best that I could at anything to which I put my mind. Strength was something in which I always lagged behind, but other things I was able to excel in. I became the fastest runner of all around me, and my mind became very sharp. To make up for my lack of strength, I became an expert at surprise. Where my brothers did what they could to use their superior strength against me to overwhelm me time after time, I began to use the shadows and other cover to my advantage in sneaking up on them. The element of surprise became my area of expertise.

As I grew, my father began finally to discover that I had some worth to him. My appearance began to surpass that of the other girls around me, and my father began to look around for possible suitors. Or the way that I looked at it was... possible bidders. He felt that with the way that I looked, he could find a wealthy husband for me and thus increase his own social standing. As soon as I heard of his plans, I began to make those of my own. I did not wish to be in such a circumstance and so one night I got what few things that I had together and left. I never looked back. I had no idea where to go or what to do, I only knew that I could not abide remaining there any longer. I thought perhaps I might end up dying out on my own, but even that was preferable to the treatment that I had been receiving. However, such a thing was not to be.

I was out for no longer than a week when I was approached by another woman. She spoke to me of her Queen, Tlanextli, who was interested in acquiring my services. I had heard of Tlanextli, her "crimes" were well known amongst my people. Which, I suppose, was the most attractive thing about going. And so I did. Because of the things that I taught myself, I quickly gained in rank there, becoming not only one of her top spies, but the top spy. I engaged in many missions, and it is my pleasure to say that I succeeded in all of them. I never once was caught, never once even suspected. I did once have to rescue another woman who had been accused of being a spy, I was not going to allow another to die for my actions. And so Necahual joined us.

I am quite sure that in speaking with the others, you will find out about the magical time freeze and how we arrived in this timeline. Coming to present times, I find myself reluctant to say much of anything. For the first time I have found myself being not successful. On two occasions... I cannot and will not go into those times and their consequences, which have cost me much. I do not know how things will go from here, if I will even recover fully from having failed. I think perhaps now I am a detriment to my people, perhaps my days of usefulness are over. Once one begins to doubt oneself, it often leads to the end. I am weak now where I was never before. And I fear... where I have never before feared. I must search deep inside myself to find the strength that I once had, if it still remains.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.
-Edwin Hubbel Chapin