Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

How to start my story? Tough question, there're just so many possibilities. I was born dirt poor. Wonderful tenement slums, gotta love 'em. The kind where ya get kept company by rats and cockroaches pretty much constantly. Coulda been worse, but I had real great parents who did what they could to make things better. Ain't an easy life when you're poor and black both. That's two strikes against ya with a lotta people. But like my dad used to say, ya gotta do what ya can with what ya got. And he was pretty good at that. Guess I wanted for a lot less than most people in my situation, cuz my parents sacrificed a lot for me. I had a hard time understandin' the kids around that bitched about their parents constantly and never had nothin' nice to say about 'em. I sure as hell never said anything that wasn't nice about mine. Cause there wasn't anything like that to say.

It was when I was 13 that things took a real nasty turn. My mom, she worked at a 7-11 just a couple blocks from our place. One night some guys went to rob the place. Had guns they waved around to scare her and the two customers in the place. One of the customers said later that my mom went to help out the other customer, who the guys were startin' to beat on. He was just 17 years old or so and she didn't want to see him get hurt bad. She went over to try and get the guy away from the customer and one of the others shot her. Right in the neck. She died a few hours later at the hospital, if she'da lived she'da been paralyzed, the doctors said. My dad... he kinda went nuts. He loved my mom so much, it was easy to see. I think really that he did seriously go nuts for awhile. Cuz he went out huntin'. And he caught two of the guys, includin' the one that killed my mom. They didn't live too long. Worst thing about that's that my dad ended up goin' to prison for it. And he's still there. They wanted to put me in foster homes, but I ran off. I wasn't gonna be raised by people that weren't my parents. So I hit the streets.

I'm tellin' ya now that it ain't exactly nice what a girl's gotta do sometimes to keep bein' able to live on the streets. I ain't gonna go much into that, don't figure I gotta. My looks worked for me there mostly, though I guess that ain't the kinda way ya want your looks to work for ya. I spent four years that way, livin' from day to day. Turned down some offers that woulda got me outta that but put me where I didn't wanna be at all. Finally I met up with Las Panteras. I was pretty sick at the time, had the flu real bad. Miguel found me and they all took care of me till I was better. I kept meanin' to leave, but just couldn't do it. Been there ever since.

I didn't have no big troubles till just awhile back. The Strikers and others that work with 'em hit one of our hideouts. Grabbed a buncha people. Includin' me. This one big oaf... Cashen... he decided he wanted to keep me. Called me his and has since. Turned me into a vampire and now my soul's up for grabs to whoever has hold of me for just an hour. Gotta spend an hour a week with that big asshole, too. Though Ukini... he's real cool... he's helped me with that. He took a likin' to me and I'm glad he did. Ain't nothin' deep there, we both just like bein' with each other and havin' fun. Dunno if I'll ever have anything deep. Cuz Cashen wants to go after any guy I get close to. Meteor says I shouldn't let that stop me, but I ain't sure at this point I wanna get serious with anyone anyway. It's a tough choice and I just dunno what to do these days. Makes things hard. I know I've changed a lot, done things I wouldn'ta done before. Like lay into Felipe about actin' like a pig around women. Never did that to guys like that before, but somethin' just made me do it. Maybe it's what's happened with Cashen and all them. Sad thing is, I really can't hate Cashen. I wanna, but in the end he's just dumb. Ain't sure he's really a bad guy overall, but that Bristara woman... she's in charge there. And when people that ain't so smart get taken charge of, they follow and act like they're told. Maybe he is really evil, I dunno. I don't like him and I hate the way he acts with me, but hatin' him just ain't somethin' I wanna do. Though sometimes it feels like it. And I sure as hell don't wanna be around him. Guess we'll see what happens, hopefully things'll get better. Just feels like they're gettin' worse and worse, but things can change. I hope.

Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby.
-Ruth Renkel

We all live in suspence, from day to day, from hour to hour; in other words, we are the hero of our own story.
-Mary McCarthy