A Fantasy Campaign Mini-Setting for RISUS
The village of Weslington is a small village, with a population of approximately
500 (see below for some notable personages). It is an average village for the
area, except for two points: Weslington gets roughly 15 times the normal traffic
of "adventurers"; and it has a shocking number of inns - TWO!
Now considering the number of transients coming through the hamlet, two inns
may not seem enough to handle the demand. But no one seems to worry about that
sort of thing around Weslington.
The first inn is called the Flaming Goblin. Most believe the name to come from an old story about an experiment in fire magic the Grand Wizard (see below) conducted many years back. However, the truth is much more interesting. However, it is too interesting to print here, if you know what I mean. Those inquiring about the true story are promptly escorted out of the inn.
Anyone who gets kicked out of the Flaming Goblin usually ends up at the Surly Brute. The Brute is really nothing more than a bar with a few rooms nailed on the back. The roughest, toughest, hardest-drinking types can be found here when they're not out whacking unsuspecting monsters.
Now, you may be asking yourself, "Self, why do all these adventurer types hang around this backwater little town anyway?" Well, first off, if you don't know, why are you asking yourself? Anyway, I'll tell you why. It's all because of the Grand Wizard.
The Grand Who?
The Grand Wizard, that's who. The Grand Wizard has been called the most powerful magician the world has ever seen. He's also been called the dumbest, as he's not once tried to use his enormous power for personal, financial or political gain. He's also been called a chump.
Many years ago, before the days that anyone still living can remember, the Grand Wizard built his Tower near the town of Weslington. For several years, the Wizard lived in his tower, content to fiddle with his experiments, and left the rest of the world alone. Then he got bored. The Wizard decided he needed an environment in which to test his many magical theories, many of which involved magical creatures and the mutability of spatial orientations and construction.
So he created the Dungeon.
The Dungeon is a sprawling expanse of tunnels, caverns, rooms, tombs, catacombs and other areas, all filled to nearly overflowing with monsters to kill and treasures to steal. And that's why adventurers flock to this sleepy little town, using it as their base camp for many ventures into the depths of the Dungeon.
The one thing about the Dungeon that not many adventurers know is that it is constantly changing. Nearly every day the Wizard changes the layout, the construction materials, the very nature of the Dungeon to fit whatever experiment he's running. The Dungeon is never the same twice. This makes for some very confusing return trips. And it is profitable to return as the Wizard is constantly creating valuable items and storing them in the Dungeon.
So, if you're heading into the Dungeon, I say good luck, and just make sure you come back in a decent number of pieces, 'cause I've got five gold pieces riding on you.
The Grand Wizard
Description: No one has actually seen the Grand Wizard. Many believe
that he fits the classic "wizard" stereotype: long, white beard; pointy
hat; and extremely drafty clothing. He built the Tower and the Dungeon (is still
building, will build it ... oh no, I've gone cross-eyed). If you run into him,
suck up as hard as you can, and pray you don't get on his bad side.
Clichés: Are you kidding? You really want to give this guy stats?
Ok, start with 70 dice. Give him every magical power you can think of. Keep
doing that until you have somebody who's smarter than Einstein and Stephen Hawking's
lovechild, more resourceful than McGuyver with a Gold Card, and has enough magical
power to tilt the planet. Then keep going until the stench of sulfur and incense
chokes the life out of you.
Rufus Coldsteel
Description: Rufus is an ex-assassin. Now he runs the Surly Brute. He
doesn't talk much, just likes to glare at the patrons and wear black robes tied
with belts and sashes and things. Keeps a knife at his side at all times.
Clichés: Assassin [4], Barkeep (2), Dry Conversationalist (1)
Hook: Is only interesting when talking about the people he's killed.
No exceptions.
Jonny "The Eel" Oaknoggin
Description: Con-man. Think thin Joe Pesci with greasy hair and a constant
half-cocked grin. Can be found in two places: outside the Surly Brute, selling
maps of the Dungeon (each one different, and all inaccurate, at least this time);
or in jail, arrested for swindling.
Clichés: Con-man (4), Slippery When Cornered (4), Dirty Fighter
(2), Repeat Offender (2)
Harold Pengrass
Description: Proprietor of the Flaming Goblin, this rotund fellow sports
a bushy graying-red beard and annoyingly high-pitched lisp. Any mention of the
alternate origin of the inn's name will enrage him, as will any connection between
himself and any such tales, implied or expressed. Plays cards and dice on the
side.
Clichés: Pleasant Host (3), "Closet" Gambler (3), Club-Wielding,
Over-defensive Blowhard with Unresolved "Issues" (4)
Franklin Hardbludgeon
Description: Retired adventurer-turned-flabby drunkard. Permanent fixture
at the Surly Brute. Sits at the end of the bar. Can drink just about anyone
under the table.
Clichés: Drunk [3], Fighter (4), Untrained Spellthrower (2)