MSTer-piece Theatre Presents:
English Essay & Prose MSTings
Hosted By River City Random & Typewriter Monkey

[English Essay MSTings] [Group MSTings]
[Additional Reading][Links][Contact Us]

Alistair Servo
Greetings, and welcome to MSTer-piece Theatre! I am your host, Alistair Servo.  Tonight, we look at a subject near and dear to the hearts of all lovers of great literature... the English class essay! These unsung works of writing art, churned out by the truckload by anxious students desperate for a grade, can follow any possible topic, from personal rants to postmodernistic deconstructions of semiotic influences in existential criticism.  Often rushed at the last moment, written to the professor's exacting yet confusing criteria, these texts can sometimes fail to meet their true potential.  Sometimes they can age untimely in the passing of time, or even become embarrassing to look at later.  Yet, with a little help from the hilarious running commentary of pop-culture mavens Mike, Tom, and Crow, your unsightly high school and/or college writing portfolio can proffer true literary gems once again. We will also take a look back at those great works of classic literature that have come down to us from ages past, and realize that, old or new, bad writing is universal.  With that in mind, enjoy the MSTings!    

It Came From English 101! The Series...

#101  Tommy
[PROSE][MEMIST] -- Original Essay by Jackson Mileur
MSTed by River City Random and Typewriter Monkey

A classic tale of hero worship, love and redemption..... was never told quite like this! River City Random's first MSTing, based off a work he had done himself in freshman English.
#102  White Power [PROSE][MEMIST] -- Original Essay by Jackson Mileur
MSTed by River City Random and Typewriter Monkey
A young man's chilling encounter with the face of ultimate darkness, or something. Meanwhile, Tom and Crow tackle the hard reality of robot racism in the media.
#103  The Storyteller [D&D] -- Original Story by Kate Mileur
MSTed by River City Random
In a magical fantasy land, the dark lord Rog'ah Dahn is on a killing spree, while young storyteller Lydia attempts to piece together the puzzle of her destiny. Back on Earth, Pearl decides to become a "storyteller" of her own, and Mike and the bots examine the seeds of violence in today's youth with a Doom contest.

#104  My Stereotype [PROSE][RANT] -- Original Essay by Brandon D. Hart
MSTed by River City Random
A young man faces corruption and prejudice in a rural California town, and comes face to face with his inner "white trash". Meanwhile, Crow's addicted to a video game farming sim, and Pearl has a bunch of new surprises for Mike and the gang...

Super Specials! -- Group MSTings and Other Projects

"Legolas, Back To The Future!" [D&D][SELF] -- Original Story by Destinygurl

Group MSTed by James Bond, Dreelyn, Freezer, Chan-wu Yi, Bryan McGucken, Keith Palmer, Rebo Valence, River City Random, SlightlyInsaneGuy, Typewriter Monkey and Juliet A. Youngren
Edited by River City Random and Typewriter Monkey

View: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 All Parts in ZIP file (~350KB) All Parts in Macintosh SIT file (~300KB)
Mike, Tom and Crow do battle with quite possibly the kookiest Lord of the Rings fanfiction ever! In this ever-growing mini-epic, hilarious hijinks ensue when two teenage girls inadvertently summon Legolas the elf, who has suddenly become both imbecilic and murderous--not a good combination. Yet once the elf calms down, he and the girls become fast friends, and spend a good deal of their time singing songs, hanging out at various entertainment venues, riding horses, and saving the world from the nefarious schemes of Willy Wonka's Oompa-Loompas (as if one crossover wasn't enough!) Yet as the story progresses, the focus becomes less and less on Legolas and more on the egocentric Crystal and her imbecilic sidekicks. Will Legolas receive the treatment he deserves? Find out...

Fellow MSTer Keith Palmer has written an Episode Guide for this MSTing! Check it out!
"Remember Me" [RANT][TREK][SELF] -- Original Story by Judy Gale
With Shorts "Here Comes Harry" and "Weakness of 'Scientific' Dating Exposed" by Jack Chick

Group MSTed by Chan-wu Yi (editor), Jonathan P. Bernick, Siobhan Morris, Larry Isen, MadDog, Mambo, Pearl
In this lifeless, sexless, excruciatingly mundaneStar Trek slashfic, an amnesiac Spock provides no small amount of angst to his unlikely wife, a plucky Mary Sue named, amazingly enough, Commodore Judy Gale (no relation to the author, of course). And you thought you had it bad when your significant other forgot your birthday! Also included are two illucid rants about the evils of Harry Potter and Japanese archaeologists by fundamentalist spin-meister Jack Chick, a man who, according to this MSTing's editor, has "probably done more to discredit and destroy Christianity than Pontius Pilate". If you have not yet accepted Chick into your life, please visit Chick Publications or this parody--I mean... tribute site...

Additional Reading

Occasionally, we here at It Came From English 101! present informative essays by leading educators in Crappy English Essay Studies. These academic dissertations provide our readers with invaluable insight into the latest developments in
our field, and enable you to make better-informed English essay decisions.  Any opinions expressed in these essays are not necessarily those of the webmasters, except, of course, when we write them ourselves.

Term Papers: The Hidden Health Threat - Essay by Typewriter Monkey
Everyone knows that term papers can be dull, boring, and frustrating to write, but did you know they could be hazardous to your health?  Leading health activist Typewriter Monkey explores the education industry's dark secret in this gripping exposé.  No, really, Typewriter Monkey wrote this as her term paper for her Intro to Health class.  Luckily her professor got the joke.  

More MSTings coming soon!  If you would like your old high school or college work to get the Mystery Science Theater treatment, email it as a text file to  If your work is chosen, you will receive the people's ovation and fame forever.  Honest!


Web Site #9 MSTings Archive
The largest MSTing website, with over 1300 MSTings collected from Usenet over the course of a decade. Now featuring our MSTings--check it out!
Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
A great site devoted to MSTings of anime fanfictions. It also supports a large MSTer community.
Mystery Science Freezer
The personal website of a friend and fellow "Legolas" MSTer, with some great MSTings and an excellent MSTing writers' guide for newbies.
Keith Palmer's Multi-Purpose Web Page
Fellow "Legolas" MSTer Keith Palmer's web site, with links to his MSTings and informative MSTing reviews.
Keith Palmer's MSTing Mine
Your favorite MSTings from years past, newly rediscovered thanks to Keith Palmer and Google Groups, without a doubt the best Usenet archive ever.

Middle-earth Science Theater 3000
SVAM regular Amanda van Rhyn's critically acclaimed (at least by me) series featuring Lord of the Rings characters Strider, Frodo and Sam as riffers in place of Mike and the bots.
Lord of the MST
Lord of the Rings fanfic MSTing site of high renown. Includes several poignant essays about Mary Sues and the mischief they cause. Great fun!
Meandering River's LiveJournal
River City Random's own vanity blog. (Hey, doesn't everyone have one of these nowadays?) Enter at your own risk.
[sign guestbook]    [view guestbook]
Email: River City Random - Typewriter Monkey

DISCLAIMER:  Mystery Science Theater 3000 characters, trademarks, and related indicia copyright © Best Brains, Inc.  All writings on this website are copyrighted by their respective authors, and used with permission.  This website is for entertainment and non-commercial purposes only, and is not intended as an assault upon Best Brains, PBS, the United States of America, or any of the authors previously discussed.  All characters discussed on this website are fictional (even in the prose essays), and any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, is purely coincidental. So just relax already!

Last updated 13 November 2004 
See who's visiting this page. View Page Stats
See who's visiting this page.