A Touch of God

A burning sensation in my sternum pulls me inward, and I remember a love I hold dear. My memory of her invigorates me and inspires me to do my best for both of us. Funny thing is whenever I think hard enough about her I get the same feeling in my chest. Sometimes more intense than at other times. It varies but I always think of her in those moments. I guess that is heartache, since we have been separated for quite some time now. I am still glad for the memory of her, because I care a lot about her regardless.

Funny thing is I get these itches about other people too. If I think hard enough about them I get a tingle, normally in a different place, but normally the same place for the same person. Or remembering someone’s voice, that can be very powerful to me. Memories of soothing, or comforting sounds brings me peace sometimes it will bring me to tears or fits of giggling. A voice can be very powerful, and I have strong auditory memories. My nose is getting more adept lately, I never used to but now I take notice of perfumes, and other scents that I pick up in certain places or around certain people. These senses can trigger old memories, fond and painful. I remember dancing close to a lovely lady that wore a rasberry perfume, and whenever I smell that thing it makes me kinda horny J It has become of my favorite perfumes, because I associate it with dancing and being with a lovely lady.

Sometimes I remember conversations with some of my dead friends and family members. I imagine talking to them again, and what they would think of me at that particular moment. Would they approve? Or would they challenge the actions or situation I put myself into. Memories of the dead spur me to quite an emotional state. Often it is euphoric. When in my sleep it can be startling and scary, if I wake up in the midle of it, the shock can keep me on edge for quite awhile. I truly believe the dead watch over us, and guide us with their spirits. I pray that only loved ones can interfere with you like this. I consider it more of a guardian angel effect than anything else.

But I know that I have found myself very paranoid at times, and maybe it is because negative spirits are trying to mess with me. Or maybe I am in contact with a disturbed or lost spirit. Sometimes I feel like I can be in touch with living people as well, and just know in my heart that they are well, or that I should try to contact them. So dead spirits are not the only ones that travel and contact people, I think the living also send out their spirits. In this way we are all angels that can help each other get through life.

I wonder if other people get these tingling sensations. Sometimes I feel then concentrated in one spot, At other times they are all over at once, like if I panic, or feel embarassed, angry, or scared I might feel tingles all over my extremities. My neck, hands, feet, and ears seem especially reactive. I compare the sensation similar to the surge you feel during a good orgasm. Just an increased burning in your veins and nerves. Not a painful burn, but I am not sure how else to describe it, kind of like a pinching from within the skin.

When I am singing very strong I feel it behind my jaw, like something helping me sing.