Author: Rose
Rating: R
Notes: Thank you to then people who did review and said such nice things. This chapter for steffles24 who wrote me a huge review and seems to have stolen the other half of my brain. I’d quite like it back really, cos that’s the side I use to write ^.^ Much angst-y confusion in here. My thanks to iheartwillhoge and huge, huge thanks to suzukiravenfire and as usual, SLASH, ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, BAD LANGUAGE and for THIS chapter CHARACTER DEATH (mwhahahahahaha) Feel free to try and guess whom…
Disclaimer: I have my own personal Severus to do with what I wish – don’t you?
As usual - I own nothing except the ‘plot’ contained within and a few of the spells. All other credit to J.K Rowling
Chapter 12; A Confrontation
They had gotten started on the potions work early this morning. Harry found it a little odd that they had both woken up so early, and that neither of them seemed to want to eat. He probably drove Severus from his food. The way his life was turning out lately he wouldn’t wonder if that was the case. Why did people wonder why he wanted to be dead?
Harry was having a little difficulty concentrating on the daisy roots he was supposed to be chopping with a nice warm Severus standing only inches away from him, meticulously stirring a cauldron.
Harry wondered if madness could be transferred and if so, was this Voldy’s final revenge? Making him drool over his potions professor who was the only person he seemed to have left. Who had refused to leave him like the others did. Not that he was concerned about that. Or how easy it had been to push them away. Farthest thing from his mind really. Really.
The Headmaster was threatening to visit at some point. Apparently there were things they ‘needed to discuss’. Harry was trying to work out if he was being sectioned or somebody else was dead.
Knowing his luck, it was probably both.
Harry was shocked out of his contemplations of the Headmaster’s latest form of torture by warm hands covering his own and taking away the knife.
Harry braced himself for the bollocking he was about to receive. What had he done wrong now? Merlin, what if Severus kicked him out because of it? He could go back to the tower, with everybody watching him, and fusing and asking if he was okay.
By this point Harry was getting towards the brink of a full-fledged panic attack.
‘Stupid boy, you’ll cut your own fingers off with that knife if you don’t play closer attention.’
Harry automatically flinched at the caustic tone that Severus had… not used?
What?
Severus tone had been almost gentle, a little teasing perhaps but not cruel. Harry eyes flashed up to stare in confusion at a face that showed something he could not read. He felt his eyebrows draw together and Severus’ expression resumed it traditionally blank demeanour.
‘I think we have done enough for today Harry.’
Harry wasn’t sure whether to be relieved by that or not. He didn’t know how much longer he could be in the presence of Snape without jumping him. Or rubbing himself against him like a demented cat. Actually… no! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!!
Merlin he was getting even more pathetic. This man had been so good to him. He had done his best when presented with Harry and enough emotion baggage to sink the QE II. He had talked to Harry, tried not to leave him with his own thoughts too much. That had really helped, even if they had only spoken about inane things. Merlin, Snape had made small talk for him. He had done so much and how was Harry repaying him? By having completely inappropriate thought about the only person who still gave a shit. God he was a headcase.
Maybe he should wait until Snape went out and find that razorblade in the bathroom. He could just make things so much easier on everyone again. Nobody would have to be grateful to him for becoming a murderer. Dumbledore could stop worrying. Ron and Hermione could move on (If they hadn’t already). Snape could be free from the burden of a complete nut to watch every day. He could go out and have a life, do whatever he wanted now Voldy was gone. How selfish was he being by staying alive?
‘Harry? Harry? Insufferable brat, are you listening to me?’
Harry came back from his thoughts with a jump.
‘Sorry sir’
A raised eyebrow.
‘Sorry Severus’
‘Come back and we’ll order some lunch. The headmaster will no doubt be down the second he knows we have finished, so please order as much as you like and eat as slowly as possible.’
Harry almost smiled.
What was that?
Oh Merlin.
Snape was half-smiling back.
All the lusty thoughts that had been swirling around Harry’s head were back stronger than ever. He looked so damn sexy like that. With his eyes a little softer and his lips a little curved…
Snape was smiling at him.
Harry followed Severus back to his rooms in a daze. Was he right then? He was a burden wasn’t he? Severus would be glad to get rid of him surely. This was just an assignment from the headmaster; Snape was doing his duty and watching the Saviour for the masses. He probably cursed whoever had saved Harry every day.
Didn’t he?
What if this wasn’t a false front? Had Snape ever made the effort to be nice to anyone before just because the headmaster had told him so, particularly now he was not relying on the good will of the Headmaster for protection. Did he, could he possibly actually have stopped hating Harry? Maybe he could even like him a little now. If he did, if he actually cared about Harry then he couldn’t kill himself, could he? How could he leave someone to actually cared about him to deal with the fact that they had failed? That they hadn’t been enough. Could he do that? Could one person be enough for him to live? What if Severus found out? Could he face that?
When had this all gotten so complicated?
Harry had done his best to try to stay focused during lunch. He had listened to Severus, and responded in what he hoped was an intellectual manner, rather than resorting to grunting he had done before he left. There was an ever-growing part of Harry that wanted to make Severus proud of him. Even just a little bit. To no longer see him as James Potter, or as a child. As Severus had recommended, they ordered a full meal from the kitchens, and Harry was still not used to eating again, having neglected to even bother with finding more than what the Dursleys chucked in through the flap in the door. What had been the point? Subsequently, lunch had taken the best part of an hour and then, as if on cue, as always, the headmaster had wandered into Severus’ quarters a few seconds after the dishes had vanished.
What was slightly less expected was the fact the he had Ron and Hermione in tow.
Well, Fuck.
This was going to be a fun afternoon.
‘Headmaster’
‘My dear boy’
Yeah, right. Must be caring and sharing towards our poor afflicted saviour, lest he do a Riddle and go scitzo and start killing people. Well, more people and of a less designated variety.
Harry did his damndest to convey all that through a raised eyebrow.
‘Harry’
Hermione’s voice was shaking a little. She was speaking almost in those soft tones animal handlers use on wild creatures. It made Harry want to scream. He wasn’t going to break if she raised her voice for fuck’s sake!
Ron was studiously ignoring him. Harry was trying to quash the little voice commenting on the remarkableness of Ron doing anything studiously. He wasn’t trying very hard.
‘You came here for a reason Headmaster, and despite your expectations I do have better things to do with my time than play 20 questions with a insane, hypocritical old coot.’
Well didn’t that feel better?
The sorrowful look on Dumbledore’s face was almost enough to make Harry feel sorry. Almost.
‘My boy I come to you with grave news.’
‘Well, colour me not shocked. I wonder if we’d speak at all if bad shit didn’t keep happening to me don’t you?’
Harry swore he saw Severus stifle a smirk at that comment.
‘Perhaps it would be best if we sat down for this.’
Definitely not good if he was stalling. What the hell was happening?
‘Perhaps it would be best if you asked Severus about that considering these are his quarters.’
Harry saw Ron blanche at that. He could decide if it was the fact that Harry had called Snape ‘Severus’ or that he was standing in the lair of the ‘Greasy Git’.
Harry made his way towards his usual chair, facing Severus with the headmaster sat to the side. All of Dumbledore’s 150+ year seemed to settle on him at once.
‘Harry, Lucius Malfoy has escaped from custody.’
Okay, more direct than he was expecting and well, fuck
‘Well, Fuck’
‘Harry!’
He turned round to glare at Hermione for that, when it occurred to him that it had not been her who had admonished him.
‘Sorry Severus’
‘Ahem… He has been seen briefly in the local vicinity and it is fairly definite that it is you, Harry, that he is coming for. Revenge, if you will, for killing Tom.’
Harry was deliberating if it was a good idea or not to tell someone who was suicidal that there was a deranged madman out to kill him. He didn’t want to die at the hands of Lucius Malfoy though, and suspected the Headmaster was aware of that.
‘You, Ron and Hermione will have to stay here in the castle until he is caught, it is not safe for you to be outside the protective wards of the castle.’
Okay, so he was allowed out to go fight the most dangerous, insane and powerful wizard of the past century but he had to stay inside and be protected because of Lucius Malfoy??? Where the hell had logic gone?
‘Headmaster, I defeated Voldemort, which I realise you’re all having a great time forgetting all about, along with the people who died because of him, but still what do I care about Lucius Malfoy?’
‘My boy, we have placed too much on your shoulder, but destiny willed it so’
Harry snorted.
‘You do not need to fight this battle. I wish to move you back up into the tower with your friends. I believe I can trust you, now that you have recovered enough under Severus’ care. It would be best for you to be with your friends again.’
Ron and Hermione were looking interested again now, at the prospect of having their dear ‘friend’ back with them. Harry was on the verge of a panic attack. Leave Severus? Not be able spend time working on potions with him, talking with him, sleeping in the same bed as him? He would be dead within hours. They weren’t enough, didn’t care enough to stop him. He needed Severus. He could keep going without him yet. He wasn’t sure if he ever could, Severus was his only true tie left. What if he went back to hating him after he wasn’t there any more?
Harry fancied he could see a similar look of panic on Severus’ face before it vanished under a mask of impassiveness.
‘No Headmaster, please.’
Okay, Harry really needed to reign in the panic in his voice.
‘Please Headmaster, I would rather stay here with Severus. I believe I would be best protected here. I wish to continue with my potions tutoring anyway.’
‘Well, if that is how you feel, Harry…’
‘NO!’
What!
Ron has finally broken his little sulk-fest then.
‘How can you say that? What the hell has gotten into you Harry?’
‘What are you talking about?’
Where did that voice come from? A low, dangerous purr not unlike his favourite Potions Master’s.
‘Why in the name of all things sane would you want to spend more time than necessary with the greasy git? What is wrong with you?
‘What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong?’
Harry was starting to get really angry.
‘How can you ask that? What right do you have? You sent me out there with the rest you bastard! Sent me off to slay the dragon. To kill someone and then you have the fucking stupidity to ask me what’s wrong like you’re my friend? Like you have the right. You don’t know me. You can’t. You’re a fucking child.’
‘I’m older than you Harry.’
‘No, you can’t say that. You’ve sat here in your nice cosy little world, waiting for the adults, for me to save you from the monster. You’ve never trained for hours till you wanted to drop and then trained for hours more. You never cast unforgivables at any animal you can find for as long as you could tale it. You’ve never killed someone. You’re a child. In your world everything is so fucking black and white. Death Eaters and the good guys. Grow up and then come lecture me, because right now you don’t have the fucking right.’
‘What’s he been saying to you? You’ve changed Harry and it’s that bastard’s fault isn’t it?’
‘Are you even listening? It’s you who made me what I am. Who turned me into what I am.’
‘What? A fucking headcase?’
‘Now we get down to it! What’s your real problem Ron? The fact that you weren’t enough to stop me from trying to kill myself? That I know more dark magic than you can possibly imagine?’
‘I knew it! He’s turned you into a fucking Death Eater.’
‘What?’
‘Or maybe not, maybe you’ve been fooling us all along and the only reason you killed Voldemort was so you could take his place.’
Harry snapped. He threw a fist right into Ron’s face. The black eye that was staring to form was remarkably cathartic. Ron was his friend still, somewhere deep inside, but he was a complete prick until he worked things out.
‘Fuck you, you Death Eater. I hope Lucius Malfoy does find you!’
Or not.
‘He’ll find you before me, I have some brains remember?’
‘Fuck you, you bastard’
Harry watched as Ron slammed his way out of the room.
~/-------\~
Ron Weasley came slamming out of Snape’s quarters and didn’t stop until he got back to Gryffindor toward, Hermione followed behind him, trying to calm him down. She tried to reason with him, to get him to see why they had both said what they did. She only seemed to be making him even more angry.
Ron rooted through his trunk, looking for something and then swung an old cloak around his shoulders.
‘Ron what are you doing?’
‘Going out.’
‘But Ron the Headmaster…’
'I really don’t give a shit. I wanna get away from somewhere contaminated with those Death Eaters.’
‘Ron! Harry’s been having a hard time, but he-he’s not a Death Eater, you know that.’
‘Shut it Hermione.’
Ron made his way quickly down to Hogsmeade, headed for the hog’s head where he could get served no problem and forget all about his former best friend.
Ron cut down an alleyway to get towards the entrance of the pub when a swirl of black stepped in front of him. He walked straight into it.
‘Excuse me mate.’
Ron made to carry on when the black clad figure stepped back in front of him.
‘I think not.’
Lucius Malfoy stood before him.
‘Well, well, Weasley I confess it is most fortuitous that I happened to find you here. You see, boy, the aurors are perhaps half an hour behind me and I have anywhere to run to. So, I thought perhaps, if I am to be caught and no doubt kissed, it would be best to leave a… parting statement.’
Ron had begun to shake as the blond man stood in front of him, sneering down with silver eyes promising revenge.
‘I had wished to kill the Potter brat of course, and succeed where my lord failed, but perhaps this is even better.’
Ron turned to try to run, to get away and go anywhere. To live.
He set off at a run, heading back towards the castle as fast as possible, he could see the school in front him. He would make it.
‘Petrificus totalus.’
Ron froze with Hogwarts reflected in his eyes.
‘My dear boy, that was most inconsiderate. Think about it, you’ll make history here today. Harry Potter’s second, killed at the hands of the Dark Lord’s second. It has a certain ring to it, and perhaps a nice touch of irony as we will both die today. Now boy, face your death like a man. How much can you stand?’
‘Crucio.’
Ron screamed.
‘Most disappointing. You’ll have alerted the aurors to our presence now, and I fear you’ve simply brought your death on your self that much faster. Ron heard the crack of the aurors arriving just a few yards away, and tried to call out. They would reach him time.
‘Avada Kedavra’
Ron Weasley fell to the ground just as the Auror managed to accio Lucius’ wand away from him and apparated him back to the ministry.
TBC
A/N: Mwhahahahahahahahahahahaha *ducks rotten fruit*
*Cough* Told you there would be character death. I know it’s taken a really, really long time to do this, but there’s just been all kinds of shit going on and I did say it would probably take a while. My workload is just going to increase over about the next three months, so there will be updates, I promise that, but I expect them to be erratic at best. I promise I won’t leave you all too long waiting for the next part. So tell me what you though of this and everything that happened, cos if anything deserves a review, this one does, and I made the effort to write lots for you on this one ^.^
xxxxx
Floss
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