DISCIPLESHIP TIPS

Revisiting Integrity

John 21:1-17

A narrative sermon by Pastor Bong Baylon

“Men have better friends than women.”

Of course, I didn’t really believe that… until someone sent me this text message. The message talks about a certain wife who came home the following day. Naturally her husband was quite upset because she was out all night. So he asked her, “Where did you sleep last night?” “At my best friend’s house,” she answered. Unconvinced, he started calling each one of her ten best friends. They all answered, “Nope, she wasn’t here last night.” So he was quite upset. A few days later, it was his turn to stay out all night and come home the following day. Naturally, his wife was also fuming mad. “Where have you been?” she asked. “I slept at my best friend’s house,” he answered quite indifferently. So she started calling up each one of his ten best friends. They all answered, “Yeah, he was here last night.” In fact one of them even said, “He’s actually still here sleeping in my house.”

My topic today is about integrity.

It’s difficult for me to talk about integrity. I don’t really consider myself to be the prime example of integrity. Of course, I’m not living in sin or anything like that. But I am often made aware of the fact that I fall short of God’s expectations. I feel that my life does not often line up with what God says in His word. I often fail in many areas of my life. More than once someone has told me, “You do not practice what you preach!” Ouch! That hurts. But it’s true. Many times I have lost my temper and have said things to people that I shouldn’t have said. Sometimes I have been plagued with unbelief, unwilling to trust God in some areas of my life. I am not what others might call “a man/woman of faith.” On some occasions, I have acted proudly rather than humbly. I have sought first place rather than being last. I felt so guilty one time when a church leader talked about the topic of servant leadership. I felt I was not included in that category.

You may not be like that. Perhaps some of you feel so successful in your Christian life that you would think that you ought to be included in Hebrews 11. Maybe you’re so consistent that even Mother Theresa might feel embarrassed standing hear you. I don’t know. But one thing I do know is that many of us fail in our Christian lives and vocation. I know I’m not alone. There are many servants of God who feel discouraged because they are not able to live up even to their own expectations, much less to the expectations of God.

That’s the reason why I feel reluctant to even go to our passage today. It’s so convicting. Remember the scenario? Peter and the other disciples were so sure that they would not abandon Jesus no matter what happened. Jesus warned them that they will all be scattered, leaving him alone. And that’s exactly what happened. We are told, not just in the book of John, but in all other Gospels, that the disciples all abandoned Jesus. It was the epitome of moral and spiritual failure. Judas may have betrayed Jesus, but so did each and every one of the disciples, especially Peter. He was so proud and arrogant, telling Jesus and every one else that he would stand by his Lord no matter what. But he denied Jesus three times! Not just once but three times! Chapter 21 talks about how Jesus appeared to Peter and six other disciples. More importantly it narrates for us an interesting question and answer portion in verses 15 to 17 and that passage has convicted me and many others through the years.

What was Jesus trying to do here? Was he convicting Peter of his moral and spiritual failure? Was Jesus driving home the point that Peter had no integrity at all? It seemed like that at first glance. In fact I have often imagined myself standing before Jesus and being asked those questions. What a shameful experience! I wouldn’t know what to answer.

But perhaps we have misunderstood the message of this passage. Perhaps it might be helpful for us to look again and understand what really happened. Perhaps the Spirit of God may have something encouraging for us today. Let’s look at the story again…

The narrative begins in verse 1. Let’s read until verse 3.

¹ Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias. It happened this way: ² Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. ³ "I'm going out to fish," Simon Peter told them, and they said, "We'll go with you." So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

The worse thing about failure is that it keeps adding up. You fail in one area and then you fail again in another area. Peter and the other six disciples have already experienced spiritual failure when they abandoned Jesus. Now they are doing something that, at least, to their mind, looks a little bit more familiar. They are out fishing. Surely they could be successful in that. But the Bible says bluntly, “They caught nothing.” It’s like the door was slamming on their faces!

I remember a friend who was formerly in the ministry but is now engaged in business. He came to me one time crying. I said, “What’s wrong?” He said, “I think I’m under a curse.” “What do you mean?” I asked. He started to narrate to me how he failed miserably in ministry and as a result how he ended up getting into business instead. But his business did not flourish. Instead he started getting into all sorts of problems and difficulties. Before long he couldn’t make ends meet. He was going bankrupt. “God is punishing me,” he said. I tried to console him but nothing seemed to help. His face was proverbially downcast and, as far as he is concerned, his future was bleak.

I can relate to that. I know how sometimes one failure can result in another failure and then another failure until there is just this string of failures one after another. The feeling is indescribable. It’s like you want to exchange places with Jonah. You have become the scum of the earth. You want to hide inside the belly of the whale! And wherever you go you hear this voice that says, “You’re a failure. You’re a failure. You’re a failure.” Sometimes you feel like you want to give up altogether. Ever felt like that?

Now I don’t know how Peter and the other disciples felt. The narrative doesn’t tell us. But we are told in the next verses what happened.

⁴ Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. ⁵ He called out to them, "Friends, haven't you any fish?"

"No," they answered.

⁶ He said, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some." When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

The last thing you need when you’re face to face with your failures is someone coming along and telling you what to do. The Bible says the disciples did not recognize Jesus. So they probably thought he was just a stranger trying to be a smart aleck. Ever encountered people like that? “You know what you should do is… blah, blah, blah.” “You should have more faith,” “Have you tried fasting and travailing in prayer?” “I tried attending this wonderful conference on recovery (or discipleship, revival, etc.)…” Job’s friends are alive and well today. They are all around us all the time. Sometimes you wish they would just go away.

Jesus called out to them, “Friends, haven't you any fish?” Actually the translation is a bit weak. Jesus actually said, “Children, haven't you any fish?” Ever experience anyone calling you “Children?” It’s like salt being rubbed on your wounds! Here you are doing what you’re supposed to be good at, and you’re failing miserably, and someone comes along and rubs it in, “Children, haven't you any fish?” It’s like saying, “Well, amateurs, any luck yet?” Now Jesus may not have meant that, but you and I know how sometimes when we are in the midst of failure that we sometimes misinterpret just about everything. We think the pastor is talking about us. We think the sermon is meant to insult us. On and on it goes. We become paranoid.

But on the positive note, we should commend Peter. He obeyed the instructions. I guess when you’re not doing very well in just about everything, any suggestion is worth trying. The Bible says, ⁶ He said, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some." When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

This startling turn of events transformed an otherwise ordinary fishing trip. Something supernatural has come into the picture. John, the disciple whom Jesus loved, immediately took note of it. Let’s read the narrative.

⁷ Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, "It is the Lord," he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. ⁸ The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards.  ⁹ When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.

¹⁰ Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish you have just caught."

This is classic Peter. As soon as he heard that it was Jesus, his master, he immediately wrapped his outer garment and jumped into the water. Apparently he was fishing naked or maybe almost naked. Don’t be shocked. That’s how they fish in those days. The important thing to notice here is that Peter was so excited to see Jesus. He wanted to be the first to go to him. Well, he always wanted to be the first in everything. That’s the reason why he was always getting into trouble. But that’s also the reason why he is often perceived as a leader of the twelve. Leaders have the tendency to want to be ahead of everything and everyone. Often they are also the first to suffer the consequences of their folly. Well, that’s another story that we can talk about later.

The other disciples followed Peter. The Bible says they were not far from shore, which makes this incident really outstanding. Imagine catching a net full of fish in shallow water! But John doesn’t dwell on that. Instead he rivets our attention to a strange scene. There was breakfast waiting for the disciples, prepared by Jesus himself. Without any explanation, Jesus simply said, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” Now why would he need more fish? Did he prepare less? Perhaps he was not expecting that there will be seven disciples there? I doubt it. He wanted Peter and the other disciples to pay attention to what was happening. From the time they caught nothing to the time that they were able to catch such a large number of fish, Jesus wanted Peter to recall an earlier incident. Remember Luke 5? Jesus called Peter to become a fisher of men right after a similar incident. Would Peter remember?

If I were in Peter’s shoes or sandals, I probably would not remember. Instead I will feel guiltier. Breakfast by the beach? This is too good to be true. There must be a catch to this. Maybe this is like death row? Maybe this will be our last meal? What next, execution? When you have failed your Lord, what do you expect? Retribution? Punishment? Death? Maybe. But not breakfast by the beach! This is too good.

I’m not trying to read into the text. But I know our human tendency. It’s hard for us to accept grace, love and mercy. We always have the tendency to equate everything according to its value. I do something good, I get a reward. I do something bad, I get punishment. That’s the reason why sometimes the Gospel is so difficult to accept. It’s just too good to be true. Jesus doesn’t punish Peter and the other disciples. They have failed miserably. They know that. Jesus knows that. But why the breakfast? It’s just pure grace.

Not wanting to disappoint Jesus, and perhaps not wanting to make the impression that he was not grateful for the breakfast, Peter promptly obeys Jesus’ request. Let’s read what happened.

¹¹ Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. ¹² Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast." None of the disciples dared ask him, "Who are you?" They knew it was the Lord. ¹³ Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. ¹⁴ This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.

This is really very interesting. Someone counted the fish, 153, to be exact. Now is there a deeper symbolical meaning to this number? I doubt it. So why did John include this information? As far as I know I couldn’t think of any other reason except one. According to John, the only one talking all this time was Jesus. He said earlier, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” Then again he said, “Come and have breakfast.” Then Jesus started serving them their breakfast without saying a word. All the while the disciples were just silent. They couldn’t ask him anything. What do you do when you don’t know what to say? I know what I’ll do. I will just count the fish.

But John gives us crucial information. He says that “This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.” Why mention it? The first time Jesus appeared to his disciples, he said, “Peace be with you.” Then he commissioned them to go and proclaim the Gospel of forgiveness (John 20:19-23). The second time, he appeared to his disciples while Thomas was there. This time, even though he also said, “Peace be with you,” he also rebuked Thomas for his unbelief. Pity Tom. But that’s what you’ll expect when you have failed spiritually. Rebuke. Will Jesus now rebuke Peter? Let’s read the famous question and answer portion.

¹⁵ When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"

"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." 

¹⁶ Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"

He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

¹⁷ The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep."

Three times Peter was asked. There’s no doubt that John wants us to remember the three occasions when Peter denied Jesus. But there’s more to this conversation than we think. In the first two questions Jesus used the word “agape” for love. That’s why it is translated “truly love.” “Do you truly love me?” Jesus asked. The amplified version says, “Do you truly – with reasoning, intentional, and spiritual devotion, as one loves the Father – love me?” Now that’s a tough question. At this point, Peter could not answer in the affirmative. He knows what he is capable of. He simply said, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Twice he can only say “I phileo you.” The amplified Bible describes this kind of love as a “deep, instinctive, personal affection, as for a close friend.” Nice, but that’s not what Jesus wanted, right? In other words, Peter could no longer say, “Lord, I love you with the most intense personal devotion that any human being can muster toward God.” Instead, he can only say, “Lord, I can only love you as my closest friend.” And why so? Because he has failed to love Jesus with full uncompromising devotion. He has fallen short of perfect love.

I’ve always wanted to have perfect love for Jesus. One that is never compromising or weak. I wanted to love my Lord perfectly and at all times. I admired those men and women of faith down through the centuries – those who have shown perfect love for our Lord. How I wish I could be like them. But I’m not. I’m like Peter. I have failed my Lord more than once. In fact, many times. If Jesus were to ask me the same questions, I can only, like Peter, say, “Lord, I can only love now as my best friend.” I too have fallen short of perfect love.

It is at this point that we come to the good news of this passage. Each time Jesus would disregard Peter’s “lower kind of love.” With profound grace, Jesus would say, “Feed my lambs. Take care of my sheep.” As if it didn’t mater to him that Peter can only love him with a phileo kind of love. Then on the third occasion, Jesus changed his word. Instead of asking, “Peter, do you agape me?” Jesus asked, “Peter, do you phileo me?” Peter was hurt. Not because Jesus was insistent, but because Jesus was now using his word – phileo. So Peter can only say, “Lord, you know all things – you know me, you know what I am capable of, you know my inconsistencies, my weaknesses, etc., you know I can only love you with a phileo kind of love.” Then Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”

Now Peter is at the point of revelation. After failing miserably, Peter now understand what true integrity means. Integrity is not about being perfect. It’s not about being consistent at all times. Integrity is about admitting that you are only capable of phileo love. The good news is that Jesus is not waiting for you to have agape love – i.e. perfect love – before He can use you. He is willing to use you right now, warts and all, even though you only have phileo love. He is willing to entrust to you His sheep if only you would humble yourself and admit your limitations. His grace is all you need to love and serve Him. You cannot trust in yourself. Apart from Him you can do nothing.

I still consider myself not a prime candidate for being a man/woman of integrity. But that doesn’t bother me anymore. I know Jesus accepts me as I am. I may not be that consistent, but I love my Lord nevertheless, even if I am only capable of phileo love. I know my Lord Jesus accepts that. He is willing to take it from there. He is even willing to use me in His ministry. I know that it’s only by grace can I love and serve Him. So in spite of my failures and inconsistencies, I know I have found liberty in Christ. By His grace, I know I will grow in my love for God. Meanwhile, I can rest secure in God’s love for me in Christ Jesus. I hope that you will, too.