I will not instigate revolution. I will not encourage others to fly. I will not fake my way through life. I will not trade pants with others. I will not sell school property. I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers. Organ transplants are best left to the profesionals. Beans are neither fruit, not musical. I will not send lard through the mail. I will not hang donuts on my person. I do not have power of atorney over first graders. Nerve gas is not a toy. I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface. No one wants to hear my armpits. The boys room is not a water park. Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things. I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist. I will not belch the national anthem. I will not grease the monkey bars. I will not barf unless I'm sick. I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I will not conduct my own fire drills. I will not prescribe medication. A burp is not an answer. I will not eat things for money. Goldfish don't bounce. No one is intrested in my underpants. I will return the seeing-eye dog. The cafeteria deep-fryer is not a toy. I will finish what I sta... Does anybody read these anymore?