| sweetness 0 3's poems |
| I sank to low I swam too deep Now blood pours - I drown in my sleep Covers me well - Icy cold sheets My pillow is stone - That I may bash upon. My bed is made of needles. I live in the edge of a razor. Slices upon my soul - Deep, long - unimaginable. And I have the bandage, Yet I rip it off. Curls sticky with blood rest upon my face Hands stained with crimson, brush them out of my eyes Wasn't He good enough? This is why He died! Yet still I remain pooled in my misery... My knees to my chest - I sink. Down, down down Deep into the dark abyss - into the dark ocean of blood. Waves crash upon my curls. Weeping I sob onto the shore. Gasping I sleep - Lulled by the crimson tide. |
| Crimson Tide |
| I'm lost |
| Glistening blades... I toss them aside. No more planning my own suicide. Old habits are gone... replaced with the new... The why do these emotions Stick to me like glue? I gave it all up... What more do I do I burn for my savior... I long for his touch. I know that to wait... Will be hard - but I must! I want it so bad, yet I stand in the way. I almost wish it wasn't this way Yet I do wish it was...and I'm glad it is Because without him...I'm emptier still. Meager threads replace the rope, For I refuse to grab the new. If only I could teach my little baby feet To walk to him. How can I? How can I? How can I? I'm lost. Please find me. I've lost everyone. Masks fly back on me... I try to rip them off... but what if I need them? Dear God...I'm so lost. No one can know me... No one but Him. And I shall tell no one... no one again. No more need to know... What good would it do? I miss them enough.. Why add new memories? Pain...it hurts so bad... I ache...my soul cries. I need to be with my abba. what keeps pushing me aside?! Dear God, please come down.. I'm torn up inside. Hold your baby in your arms... Throw it all aside.. I need you, I want you... but I'm so confused. For if I'm to worship you... do I push my thoughts aside? Do I leave our friendship.. and only praise your name? Where is the balance?! I'm sick of this game. People - they hurt me... but you're always there. Please give me the courage, the wisdom? the love? What is it I need, God up above. I'm lost. |