All the Small Things:  3 Weddings and a Funeral:  3 Days to Wedding Bells

(East of Prontera, beyond the Yoyo fields, lie a heap of graves amidst a beautiful castle area. Crowded around a fallen knight (Sk8erman), that has a chat room above his head "RIP - Leave a Message", are various people of several classes facing him. Above Sk8erman stands a Priest (Wendel), while to the left are a Priestess (Adrianne), Wizard (Dustin), a knight (Taxi), a Priestess (Candy), and Blacksmith (Garnet). To the right stand an assassin (Oranges), Huntress (Venetia), Merchant (Xerxes), and Thief (Isis). There are various expressions they are holding, ranging from sob signs to silence dots signs.)


Adrianne: Duo are coming soon, but we should start now.
Xerxes: Good idea. I still have some goods to sell for the day.
Venetia: (with sob signs.) Oh, Sk8er....Sk8...er...man...
Dustin: ...
Taxi: (has a music sign quickly followed by a sweatdrop overhead.) I made a playlist of sad songs for this occasion.
Garnet: Honey, you alright?
Wendel: -clears throat-
Oranges: This is the first time I've been to...this sort of thing.
Candy: Yes, dear. A bit under the weather, though.
Wendel: (silence dots sign hang.) We are gathered here to mourn the dearly departed.

(Silence dots appear over the majority of the gathered. An exclamation mark hangs over Isis for a moment, before turning into silence dots.)

Taxi: Greg was always getting net from 20 feet away. *Kelly Rowland*
Venetia: (taken by sob signs.) Sk8erman! *cries*
Wendel: Our fallen comrade and knight, Sk8erman started as a novice in Izlude.
Dustin: ...
Adrianne: ....
Oranges: .....
Candy: ......
Isis: . X a million.
Wendel: Slowly, very slowly, poring by poring, fabre by fabre, lunatic by
Garnet: Lol.
Taxi: Seems like everybody's got a plan. Like Nashville with a
TaxI: Tan. *Shawn Mullins*
Xerxes: -coughs-
Venetia: (still with sob signs.) Sk8erman...SK8ERMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xerxes: You could speed this up a little.
Garnet: (exclamation marked.) Poor Venetia. 
Wendel: Lunatic....right. -skips ahead- Sk8erman took a test falling,
Dustin: ...
Wendel: Hold on, let me whisper him.
Oranges: I'm going to have to tank for Odessa soon.
Adrianne: ....
Garnet: Odessa's offline right now.
Wendel: He seems to be afk. Let's say he fell 3 times in the
Wendel: Test, made it, and was a swordsman.
Candy: Oranges, you are aware that she's in our Yuri guild?
Taxi: You were my sun, you were my Earth. *Justin T.*
Xerxes: (holding a sweatdrop.) There's such a thing?
Garnet: Yes, is there a problem with it? >:(
Venetia: My stars, my sky, my everything, SK8ERMAN!!!
Oranges: I know. The name & two female signs're a dead giveaway. >.<
Wendel: -clears throat-
Isis: ...
Dustin: ...

(From the left walk in a Knight (Herbert) and an Assassin (Bob). Herbert holds silence dots, while Bob an exclamation sign as they flank below the fallen Sk8erman and face him.)

Garnet: The perverts! >:(
Adrianne: Hello, Duo.
Candy: ...
Herbert: Hui, Adrianne. (sweatdrops.) Um, oh...elloo, Garnet, Candye.
Bob: Sup, Adrianne?
Bob: (with an exclamation mark.) How the hell did he get himself to lay down?
Dustin: ...
Xerxes: Good question.
Taxi: Sweet surrender, is all that I have to give. *Sarah McLachlan*
Venetia: Yeah, how? *sobs*
Isis: I'm clueless.
Oranges: There aren't any Stormy Knights around here, right?
Wendel: -clears throat-
Dustin: 26 Dead Branches.
Adrianne: Proceed, Wendel.
Bob: (hangs a lightbulb sign.) Damn.
Wendel: From a swordsman, he levelled in...-skips-...became a knight at job 42.
Garnet: Lol.
Dustin: (has silence dots.) ...
Isis: Dead Branches summon monsters, right?
Oranges: Yup.
Adrianne: (with silence dots.) ...
Herbert: Um..ojh, i Thunk sop.
Xerxes: Isn't it 40?
Candy: ....
Wendel: Yeah.
Venetia: (still holding th sob sign.) Oh, my dear Sk8erman! ! !
Dustin: Sk8erman was maxing bash.
Bob: Oh. ^o^
Xerxes: I see.
Wendel: Getting various MVPs, such as Golden Bug, Doppleganger, Baphomet,
Dustin: ...
Taxi: We live on together, and we will find some precious things. *Boa*
Adrianne: ...
Candy: ...
Xerxes: He took my Mistress!!!
Taxi: I remember he took on Baphomet!
Wendel: Mistress, Orc Hero, and various sorts, Sk8erman slowly became 99.
Oranges: (a question mark hangs overhead.) He's how old???
Bob: (a thumbs up sign appears.) Level, man. ^o^
Oranges: Oh.
Taxi: Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew. 
Taxi: *Michelle Branch*
Xerxes: Dang, no wonder.
Isis: Wow.
Wendel: It was around level...say...70? That he met a woman.
Dustin: ....
Adrianne: ...
Oranges: Dude wasn't living in a box prior to that?
Garnet: Lol.
Bob: Lol.
Herbert: Llo.
Candy: ....
Xerxes: Heh.
Wendel: Sk8erman the Knight quickly proposed to Venetia the huntress,
Venetia: (a dark cloud appears overhaed.) *peeves* Have more respect for the...departed. *sobs*
Dustin: ...
Herbert: Um...ohh...sory..
Wendel: And...-skips past honeymoon X_X-It was suddenly, one day...
Adrianne: ...
Wendel: An evil spirit possessed and lifted away our dearly departed...
Candy: ...
Taxi: I can say it so clearly, but you're nowhere around. *Babyface*
Venetia: (still sobbing.) Oh, Sk8erman!!!
Wendel: And brought him to a place of the Devil's incarnation. Hell.
Adrianne: (has a rock/fist sign overhead.) Amen.

(Oranges, Bob, Garnet, and Isis have exclamation marks overhead, while the rest have silence dots signs.)

Venetia: (sobbing still.) He's losing his internet connection! Oh! *sobs*
Wendel: Everquest.

(Question marks appear overhead mostly everyone except Venetia, who holds dark clouds, and Dustin and Adrianne, who hold silence dots signs.)

Isis: Oh.
Dustin: ....
Venetia: (fuming.) That dirty son of a (expletive shown probably with a dot in between its letters.)! 
Candy: ...
Garnet: Lol.
Bob: Hmm...
Xerxes: Dang.
Oranges: I thought he loved RO.
Adrianne: ...
Taxi: I'm torn in pieces. *Goo Goo Dolls*
Herbert: Ii...um...played eVrguest.
Venetia: Sk8erman!!! You'd better be AFK!!!

(A hunter (Jacques) walks onto the screen from below left with music and poring smile signs.)

Jacques: It took walking, and walking, and incessant mouse-clicking, but
Wendel: Hello, are you a friend of the dearly departed?
Jacques: I made it! Hidden Temple, here I am!!!

(Sweatdrop signs appear overhead of various people.)

Dustin: ....
Candy: ....
Jacques: I went West of Prontera: Orc Dungeon!
Oranges: (turns to Jacques.) Dude...
Jacques: South of Prontera: Morroc!
Venetia: (still fuming.) Sk8erman, you're a dead man!!!
Xerxes: This isn't the Hidden Temple.
Garnet: Lol.
Oranges: You're in the wrong place.
Jacques: (turns to the fallen Sk8erman.) Whoa, what got you?
Wendel: I guess not.
Jacques: (a thumbs up sign hangs overhead.) A Bapho, I reckon?
Isis: No, he was taken by Dead Branch monsters.
Adrianne: ....
Jacques: So this ISN'T the HIDDEN TEMPLE???
Taxi: But you can't hear those words. *Lene Marlin*
Bob: (has a thumbs up.) No, man. ^o^ You're way off.
Jacques: (sweatdrops.) Aw, fudge.
Herbert: Ohh, um...you goo north ohf prOnteraa...
Isis: How about I bring you there, Jacques?
Wendel: (a question mark hangs overhead.) Isis, you're leaving?
Xerxes: Hmm...
Isis: I just left Sk8erman a message in his room.
Jacques: About that...what are you guys doing here exactly?
Venetia: (fumes still.) Sk8erman is dead, and WILL BE DEAD AGAIN!!!
Dustin: ...
Adrianne: ....
Candy: .....
Oranges: ......
Garnet: Lol.
Venetia: (still with dark clouds.) STOP THAT!
Herbert: . X infunity.
Isis: Shall we go?
Venetia: (at this point, it's raining lemons.) HERBERT, YOU'RE JOINING SK8ERMAN!!!
Jacques: Sure, lead the way, lovely lady. ^_^
Herbert: (sweatdrops.) Ohg, uhm...sorry.

(Jacques and Isis leave the premises and Wendel holds an exclamation mark overhead.)

Wendel: -clears throat-
Taxi: Tell me why, I can't be there where you are! *Backstreet Boys*
Dustin: ...
Adrianne: (an exclamation mark hangs overhead.) Continue, please.
Xerxes: They're still boys?
Candy: ...
Bob: More like men with wives and children. ^o^
Wendel: This ceremony shall now conclude with a testimony from Oranges.

(Silence dots hang overhead various people.) 

Venetia: (lacking clouds or sob signs.) ...
Wendel: Step up and take my place. (switches positions with Oranges.)
Herbert: Ohh...umm...
Adrianne: ....
Dustin: ....
Oranges: (a sweatdrop sign appears overhead.) This is my first RO...
Garnet: Huh.
Oranges: Funeral. So, I'll be brief.
Taxi: Broadway's dark tonight. *Goo Goo Dolls*
Candy: ...
Adrianne: Proceed, please.
Oranges: My first memory of Sk8erman was back in novice times.
Dustin: ...
Oranges: I was a novice, and Sk8erman was a swordsman. The first thing he did was...
Xerxes: Hmm...
Oranges: KS me. I thought he was a bot.

(Exclamation marked, music, and laugh signs appear overhead.)

Venetia: (with an exclamation mark.) Me too!!! My thera frog, that is.
Herbert: Ohh,,,uim, hee took mt smohkie.
Garnet: Sk8er KSed a few of my orc zombies. >:(

(The testimonials drag on with a few more random people, and for awhile. -skips-)

Wendel: Continue, Oranges.
Oranges: But, a few days later, I was mobbed in Culvert by a bunch of thief bugs
Dustin: ....
Oranges: And bats. I did the help sign and the first one that responded was him.
Xerxes: Heh.
Adrianne: ...
Candy: ....
Oranges: At first I thought he was a bot, but then he asked me if I was okay
Bob: ^o^
Oranges: And dealed me 15 pots.
Garnet: Cool.
Venetia: (silence dots signs appear overhead.) He was sweet...
Xerxes: Heh. He used to buy my 49z pots awhile back.
Bob: Only a moron sells pots for 49z. ^o^
Oranges: We became fast friends, and we fought together a lot.
Taxi: I took your pictures off the wall; it didn't help at all. *Isyss*
Xerxes: Hey, I was a newbie, God-Poing-dang-it!!!
Oranges: Heck, we were each other's best men at each other's weddings.
Dustin: ...
Garnet: Nice.
Venetia: By the way, how are you and Kendel doing, Oranges?
Adrianne: ....
Bob: (a question mark hangs overhead.) Hey, ain't she that sl.ut with the Angel Hairband? ^o^
Wendel: They divorced, Venetia.
Oranges: Yeah. It just didn't work out. >.<

(Wendel and Oranges both develop dark clouds overhead.)

Herbert: Ogh...umm, sorry.
Wendel: What the (expletive) did you say about my sister???
Oranges: You DIE, BOB!
Candy: How DARE YOU??? When a man macs with GIRLS, is HE ever called a male sl.ut?
Venetia: ....
Xerxes: This is the moment... (Note: Ever watched Jekyll and Hyde??? Jekyll sings this very line when he's about to drink the body-altering potion that turns him into...yadda yadda yadda...)

(Xerxes sets up a store titled "Cheap Dead Branches".)


Herbert: Wow, how'd yoi geht so many ded brranches?
Garnet: Hmm...Oranges,
Adrianne: ....
Dustin: (with an exclamation mark.) Cool it, guys!
Wendel: RUN! BOB! RUN!
Xerxes: That's classified, man.
Garnet: While you were with Kendel, I saw her with a few guys on occasion...
Garnet: Kissing, alt-4ing, and saying romantic stuff. Sorry.
Taxi: It's haunting, how I can't seem, to find myself again. *Linkin P.*
Wendel: (holding dark clouds and turning to Garnet.) You lie! Kendel would never cheat!
Dustin: ...
Oranges: (sweatdrops.) Yeah. That's, well, why we divorced.

(Random silence dots signs and exclamation marks appear, while Wendel sweatdrops.) 

Venetia: Ouch.
Xerxes: Dang.
Candy: I'm sorry.
Xerxes: (a sob sign appears.) I'm not selling anything. 
Herbert: I ame surry two.
Dustin: Sorry.
Xerxes: Come on, guys. Where's that kill-Bob spirit?
Adrianne: ...
Wendel: -clears throat-
Candy: ....
Wendel: This concludes this procession...I have to go talk to Kendel.
Wendel: When Natsumi comes online, tell her I'll be back later.

(Wendel logs out simultaneously while the chat box over Sk8erman's head disappears. A few exclamation marks appear overhead for some.)

Sk8erman: Ah, he left? Boo hoo hoo.
Venetia: Sk8erman!!!
Oranges: Hi, dude!
Bob: You're back.
Sk8erman: Honey, I have made a decision.
Venetia: (dark clouds hang overhead.) You're not going to Evercrack THIS VERY MOMENT???
Dustin: ....
Sk8erman: Hoo hoo hoo. No, I'm staying in RO. Permanently.
Adrianne: .....
Sk8erman: In actuality, I was planning on staying. Everquest is too expensive.
Garnet: Lol.
Xerxes: Heh.
Taxi: It's been too long, and I'm lost without you. *Aaliyah*
Sk8erman: All those times I seemed offline, I was working on my hunter, M3talman.
Adrianne: I guess it's time to rez you, then. (resurrects Sk8erman.)
Candy: So you just dragged us through this whole affair???
Taxi: (dark clouds appear.) The guy that looted my poison spore card???
Xerxes: (with the sob sign.) And I still haven't sold ANYTHING today???
Garnet: Lol.
Sk8erman: (sweatdrops.) Hoo hoo hoo. Honey, care to join me in some Baphomet hunting?
Oranges: I could've sworn...this hunter KSed my argiope...
Herbert: RoOFL.
Venetia: As hunters, of course, dear. *kisses*

(Sk8erman and Venetia walk off to the left, leaving dark clouded, silence dots, and music signs.)

Dustin: (turns to Adrianne.) You know, this is the perfect time for the announcement.
Oranges: What?
Adrianne: Indeed. I thought we'd have to wait until a day prior. Take the honors, dear.
Candy: Dear??? But aren't you with Rocki???
Garnet: Yeah!
Taxi: I thought I saw a man brought to life. *Natalie Imbruglia*
Adrianne: (sweatdrops along with Dustin.) No, we broke up awhile back.
Herbert: Ohj.
Candy: ...
Garnet: I see.
Dustin: Me and Addy are marrying in 3 days. Wendel will be our priest.

(Exclamation marks appear on Candy and Garnet's heads.)

Candy: Ours too. On the same date...
Garnet: Wendel's our priest that same day!
Oranges: Hold up, you're getting married?
Bob: Ert and I too!
Xerxes: So you girls really are YurI???
Dustin: ...

(Exclamation marks appear over most, if not all of the people besides Bob.)

Herbert: Oh...uhmm....we arr?
Bob: Let me whisper you a second, Ert...^o^
Xerxes: Dang. Everyone's going homerserxual these days.
Garnet: (a question mark sign appears.) The perverts?
Adrianne: Duo are in love?
Candy: You're kidding, right?
Herbert: (silence dots appear.) ...>............>...
Xerxes: Must be a new fad.
Taxi: And I think I can fly. *POD*
Bob: (does a thumbs up sign.) Speak up, Ert!
Herbert: Ohh,,,umm...I...
Oranges: Have to go to the toilet?
Dustin: ...
Garnet: Lol.
Herbert: Locve...Bohb!
Bob: I love Ert too. <3
Candy: Prove it!
Herbert: ..>
Garnet: Ditto.

(Bob stands next to Herbert and hearts him, receiving in return sweatdrops from Herbert. After a minute with the dark clouds sign over Bob, and music and laugh signs over the others, Herbert returns with a heart sign, followed by a kiss sign.)

Xerxes: Dang.
Candy: (with an exclamation mark.) God-Poing! You two are really Yaoi!
Garnet: Ditto!
Adrianne: This is perfect!
Dustin: What is, Addy?
Herbert: Uhh.....whot iss?
Adrianne: Dusty, would you mind if our wedding was shared by two other couples?
Dustin: ...
Xerxes: Of course, I can vend there, rigth? -grins-
Candy: ....
Herbert: .....
Candy: Don't even think of it, Xerxes!
Oranges: A triple-wedding!
Taxi: How romantic!
Bob: Me and Ert are in for it, right, dear?
Garnet: Great idea!
Herbert: .>..
Dustin: Anything with you, and I'll survive, Addy.
Garnet: Aww...
Herbert: (silence dots hang overhead.) Yesh...deer. 
Adrianne: Then, it's settled. We're to be married 3 days from now.
Xerxes: (a laugh sign appears overhead) Heh.
Oranges: What's so funny?
Xerxes: Do you noticed that Garnet and Candy will both have bridesmaids,
Candy: ...
Xerxes: And Bob and Herbert best men?
Herbert: >..






-Notes-

What to say? This was the longest RO story I've written, and it'll continue being EVEN longer in this thread. (Sorry, guys!!!) Also, I considered some votes, and will try to put some into the story. -grins-

A few stories from roleplaying on Yahoo, and in RO, and in irl, came to mind as this was written. For instance, meeting a friend that KSed...-laughs-, knowing someone that was technically a player... 

Hmm...Mary Sue, Gary Stu? I unwittingly created some...did you notice? I hope they didn't deter from the story. If they did, I'll axe them as quickly as possible...or find a way to minimize their...well...presence. X_X

By the way, Suikoden III players, you noticed Jacques the archer/hunter guy, right? *shakes fist* YOU BETTER HAVE!!!