.Stuck//inRO  :  Mary 01 and Joe 01

(Disclaimer: Eh, I haven't watched an ounce of .Hack//sign, but I WILL eventually. Until then, here's a story made in anticipation of it...and yeah, it's an intentional ripoff of the basic "guys get stuck in an mmorpg/tv/computer/movie/etcetera..." Please don't sue...Oh, and one warning: I'm REALLY REALLY bad at describing things, so don't expect any Faulkner from me. Heck, not even Hemmingway. I'm talking about verbosity/lack of. Their talent is both, respectively, leagues beyond. Adversely, I STILL have to use a thesaurus when I write stuff. Heck, I've even heard of a trained Chimpanzee that can write better than me...X_X PS: If this has been done before or just plain sucks, then TELL me. I don't want to go on and on with a crappy story only to have to END it even MORE crappily...





.Stuck//inRO





~Every lame story has its beginning (Unknown)~



Outside what people would call the most regular of housings was a stream of rain and thunder. Inside was an agitated teenage girl, probably on PMS. Not much difference.

"Get OFF the f***ing computer, Joe!" Mary verbalized shouting, with what seemed like gritted teeth.

Joe himself was hunched over the computer, typing in something. He murmured drawling, "Five minutes, sis..."

"Don't you do ANYTHING other than that stupid game?"

When done typing, Joe took ahold of the mouse. "RO owns."

Grunting, Mary walked over to Joe, taking a position standing in back of his seat to look over his shoulder. Onscreen, she noticed highlighted text with the words "Joe: My sister's such a dweeb. She's probably going to check out Sucky Charlotte pictures." To that, Mary responded screeching, "I am NOT! And Good Charlotte rocks so get off!"

"I just made knight...give me 5 minutes," Joe said, leaning towards the screen.

With her head shaking, Mary noted "No!" 

For a few moments, Joe didn't respond. The room was quiet except for the repeat clicking of the mouse. Onscreen was a super-deformed character sprite walking through what seemed like a city of some sort.

"That's it. I'm pulling the plug," Mary sighed, walking towards a wall that held a tangle of wires and extended extension cords. Joe quickly responded with a "No!"

Joe himself leapt out of his chair towards Mary, who was proceeding to take out the main computer cord, to take ahold of what she was about to pull. "Let go, Mary!"

"You've been on the comp way too long!" Mary said, as she pulled on the cord, which Joe gripped onto.

Joe pulled back to the cord. "I was just ASKING for 5 freaking minutes, Mary!"

"That's what you said a half hour ago!" Another pull of the cord towards Mary went by.

"Let go of the cord!" The cord pulled back towards Joe.

An idea struck both teenagers. They pulled their hardest on the cord simultaneously. Somehow, at the same time, lightning struck an electrical pole outside.





~GiveMeMyName (Mary: 01)~



Mary found herself in a tiny, poorly-lit room with no visible exits. On all four walls were small shelves, each containing a long-used candle. In the middle of it was a man with the title "Guard" underneath it holding a mild expression on his face.

"Where am I?"

"Welcome to the International Ragnarok," the Guard said with a monotone voice.

"The HELL???"

The Guard was silent with the same expression as before.

Mary shouted, "I don't even play that dumb game!!!" She then noticed the Guard, who was still unaffected, didn't seem quite human.

"What are you?" Mary asked, raising a brow.

"Choose your hair style." What seemed like a wig appeared above the Guard, with left, right and up arrows around it.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Choose your hairstyle."

Mary pondered a moment, than raised a hand to her scalp.

"What the f...I'm bald!!!"

"Choose your hairstyle."

Mary gazed at the wig that was above the Guard, then snorted. "Are there other choices?"

"Choose your hairstyle."

"I got you, already!!!" Mary walked up to the Guard, and noticing it was still unaffected, pushed an arrow, discovering that the wig would change.

"I see..."

(Minutes/Hours/Days Later)

With a certain hairstyle chosen, Mary took the wig that was above the Guardian and placed it on her head. "Hey, do you have a mirror?"

"Choose your stats." A shape appeared over the Guard's head with arrows that corresponded with certain statistics, such as vit, luk, and dex.

"Crap." Mary sighed, then asked, "Can't you pick them for me?"

"Choose your stats."

Mary stood fuming for a moment in expletives, then pushed a few arrows. "Whatever you say..."

When done, the Guard said, still in monotone, "Choose your name."

To that, Mary brightened. "Mary!"

"The name Mary is already in use."

"Finally, something easy..."

"Choose your name."

"What???"

"The name What is already in use."

Thunder and hail could've swept through, but it didn't. Instead, Mary shouted, "Give me my name!!!"

"Welcome to the International Ragnarok, GiveMeMyName."





~How many conversations in RO start with "I'm physically IN this game!"? (Joe: 01)~



The first thing Joe noticed was how everything looked like Ragnarok Online, only in full 3D view from the ground to the sky. Also, he heard the banter of various people, smelled a unique scent of what would be a city's, and felt a slight breeze on his face.

Before Joe was a crowded street intersection with what he recognized as various classes of RO people, ranging from merchants with vending boxes overhead to mages with chat boxes overhead. In view was everyone's name underneath their feet in plain text. At the bottom of his sight was a chat box which was filling quickly with various conversations. Additionally, he saw a map of the place he was in at the top right corner of his view. Plus, a status box with various buttons on the top left corner of his view read "Knight Joe" with the same stats he'd seen in the game he'd been playing a minute ago. (Author's note: Yeah, I don't know any other way to say "box"...)

Joe stood dumbfounded, then looked down at his figure. He noticed that instead of wearing a T-shirt and jeans, he was in full Knight's garb, with a heavy helm upon his head and sheathed sword within a belt that was worn tightly underneath the cape.

"I'm in Ragnarok Online...," Joe gasped.

To convince him more of that, he looked at the chat box in view and realized he was being whispered by someone.

"Joe, you there?" he heard like a voice inside his head. What he saw in the chat box was "(From Chichiri): Joe, you there?"

Problem was, Joe didn't know how to respond. Unlike the game he'd been playing, there was no keyboard nor mouse to type a reply.

"Do I use telepathy or something?" Joe murmured, and laughed as the chatbox read "Joe: Do I use telepathy or something?"

After hearing "Gtg in a few minutes." from Chichiri, though, Joe sobered.

"Okay...okay...I'll just find a way to whisper Chichiri, somehow," Joe thought. The chatbox before him suddenly showed "(To Chichiri): somehow."

"What?" Joe heard. Catching on, Joe thought, "Whisper Chichiri: Chiri!!!" and smiled as it came out on the chatbox as "(To Chichiri): Chiri!!!"

Chichiri responded quickly with "You're on! I thought Mary would've kicked you off by now."

Joe sighed, and wondered about Mary. If he'd landed in RO, then there could've been a chance that she had too. "Would serve her right!" Joe thought a moment, then began to worry. To his knowledge, Mary would've been a n00b. Another problem posed was that he sorely doubted the ability to whisper her. He was positive the name Mary was taken. Dwelling on that, he thought of a way to break the news to Chichiri.

"Chiri, something REALLY big has just happened," Joe whispered, to be promptly replied with "Bapho came into Pront?"

"No, BIGGER." Joe started to walk down the street towards a less crowded area, where there would be less speakers cluttering up the chat screen and his ears. Hearing "Like what?" from Chichiri, Joe promptly whispered "You have to believe me on this, Chiri. You just HAVE to..."

"Okay, okay. We've known each other since Kindergarten, man," Chichiri whispered, and continued in another line, "Out with it, Joe."

Joe inhaled a long breath and thought out his reply, then whispered, "I'm in Ragnarok Online. No joke." After a few seconds, Joe heard and read, "Lol. So am I. Plus the 4k players on tonight."

"No, seriously. My BODY is that of a Knight's." Chichiri responded after a moment with "Yeah, yeah, but you only have a 4-pack, man."

Sighing, Joe sat in the sidewalk, leaning against a wall. "Chiri, I'm serious. I don't know how, but I'm physically IN this game." For a moment, things seemed silent, even with the chattering of those in the street. What Joe heard as a response was a sigh, which came on the screen as "(From Chichiri): ..............".

"Listen," Joe whispered, "Meet me in Pront city, and I'll show you." Joe waited for a response for a minute, and hearing/seeing none, whispered again. Chiri?"

"Gtg. See you in class tomorrow, and try to get some rest." Chichiri replied. To that, Joe tried to whisper "Wait!", but got on the chat screen "(Chichiri)is not available."

"Darnit!" For a moment, Joe fermented, frustrated at the current predicament. It was after wards, though, that he inhaled a large breath and took in the sight of the sky above.





-Notes-



Yeah, this was way too short, and a bit shoddy. Once again, if you want me to STOP writing this, then TELL me. Otherwise, I'll just keep writing and writing...If you actually thought this wasn't AS bad, then, thanks, and TELL me. I actually have an idea of how this'll end (after a few chapters worth...*whistles*), or how it'll progress at least. One last note: I very much doubt there'll be any yaoi/yuri in this story, in hopes of keeping this down to PG (even with the cursing).