Dear Boy
Angel: "Table seems far."
Cordelia:"Aww, you must be all worn out from sleeping for the last three days. (To Wesley) It's like living with the world's oldest teen-ager. He can't be having a growth spurt at two hundred and forty-eight, could he?"
Angel: "Two-forty-seven."

Cordelia: "According to my figures, if we're frugal and garner some paying clientele soon, we're financially sound through last Wednesday."

Wesley: "Where's it all going?"
Cordelia: "Well, there's the fixed costs, the mortgage on the giant hotel, my salary, there's lots of other--"
Wesley: "Well, what about my salary? It's fixed, too."
Cordelia: "What if, every time you identified a demon in one of your big old books, we gave you ten bucks? Or a chicken pot pie."
Wesley: "Wait, I have another idea. No. Get a vision!"
Cordelia: "Well it's not like you can hit me in the head and wham it happens."
Wesley: "What if, we test that theory with one of my big old books?"

Angel: "You all right? You sure you don't want to sit down?"
Cordelia:" If I sit, I'll throw up in my head."

Wesley: "Did it look like this?"
Cordelia: "No. More mushy and more moldy."

Cordelia: "It's disciples are human; they're killing each other. I think the fight is over how to worship it."
Angel: "This is why personally I rarely go to church...I thought it was funny."

Angel: "Gaah! I didn't doze off. Here I am. Where were we?"

Angel: "Saint Bridget's, in Fremont. A convent, built on native burial grounds. The land's cursed, they had eight murders in two years before the whole place burned to the ground, which is nothing compared to what happened at Our Lady of Lochenbee..."
(Wesley & Cordy stare)
Angel: "I got a thing for convents."

Angel: "We're gonna need some muscle. Call Gunn. He's on the payroll now."
Wesley: "Right! But not in a fixed way like me."

Gunn: "You are not payin' me enough for this."

Gunn: "My Uncle Theo always said, "Never buy a dull plow, and never get in the middle of a religious war.""
Cordelia: "Do you really have an Uncle Theo?"
Gunn: "Nah. But it's still good advice."

Angel: "So kill the big ugly. Unthralls the groupies; they stop killing each other."
Wesley: "Absolutely. Yes. That's...the theory."

Gunn: "Angel, I'll try to get fat head. Watch my back! Or, just keep beating on that big guy."

Gunn: "So this whole teamwork deal. That's a thing of the past now?"
Angel:"Job got done."

Wesley: "He hasn't been sleeping well lately."
Cordelia: "He's off his game."
Gunn: "Since when is it a game?"

Darla: "I ran into Lord Nichols -- horrid little man. He was propositioning a streetwalker and dickering over the price. Can you imagine? I told him I'd do him for nothing."
Angelus: You're very charitable.
Darla: "I so loathe cheap royalty."
Angelus: "They all taste the same to me."

Angelus: "You always come up with something new."
Darla:"Keeps me young."

Cordelia: "Mr. Jeakins, say hello to your new best friend."
Mr Jeakins: "Do you think my wife's cheating on me?"
Angel: "Probably."

Mr Jeakins: "He didn't seem that--"
Wesley: "Oh, he's an eccentric, all the great ones are. Sherlock Holmes, Phillip Marlowe..."
Mr Jeakins: "Those are fictional characters."
Wesley: "Yes, right you are! Which gives Angel rather a leg up when you come to think of it."

Cordelia: "He has Visa, MasterCard, a problem! He's our target audience!"

Cordelia: "Angel? Uh, What are you...Personal bubble. PERSONAL BUBBLE!"

Wesley:" I need to speak to you, man to man. Cordelia, you may not want to be here for this. Was it something I did?"

Angel: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I've just been so out of it lately. Because of her. I saw her, here in town. Last night."
Cordelia: "Oh no, not again. Look I like Buffy as much as the next--"
Angel: "Not Buffy, Darla."

Angel: "I saw her. I'm not crazy."
Wesley: "Where?"
Angel: "Right between the clowns and the big talkin' hot dog."

Wesley: "You said yourself you've been having dreams, lately. Maybe it's guilt over killing your sire."
Cordelia: "Right! Guilt! Who loves guilt like you love guilt?"

Cordelia: "You know what you need? You need to go back to work. We have an exciting new case: could be aliens, could be adultery. It's a corker!"

Darla: "(Touching Lindsey's hand) It's very smooth. You don't feel anything."
Lindsey: "Not in my hand."

Lindsey: "He betrayed you."
Darla: "Everyone betrays you, that's not what eats at you in the long winter's night."
Lindsey: "Yeah? What does?"
Darla: "Missed opportunities. He got a soul and it sickened me. All that power wasted on a whiny, mopey do-gooder. God, I could eat his eyeballs."

Lindsey: "Our plans for Angel are a little more long-term than that, but if you just can't help yourself, then by all means, be my guest."
Darla: "You're fun for a human."

Cordelia: "What was that? We had a paying client."
Angel: "Not everything's worth getting paid for."
Cordelia: "Easy to say when you don't need solid food to survive."

Angel: "Guess you didn't take that whole dust to dust thing to heart, did you?"

Cordelia: "Guys, that was really fun -- the public humiliation, running from the hotel security staff, and the nifty outfit which seemed to tell so many conventioneers 'pet me, I'm a whore'."

Wesley: "The woman walked into direct sunlight. Obviously she's not a vampire, obviously Angel...made a mistake."
Cordelia: "Ya' think?"
Wesley: "You're among friends, we're not going to condemn you."
Cordelia: "Right. (to Angel) You're crazy, you need professional help."

Angel: "It was Darla. She's back, and she's human now, but I know her scent."
Wesley: "Angel, you can't just sniff a person and --"
Angel: "You had sex last night, with a bleached blond."
Wesley: "Good lord! How --"
Cordelia: "That's unbelievable. I didn't think you ever had sex."

Angel: "Everybody have fun tonight. Ev-ery-body...I'm very sorry."

Angel: "Tell me about Darla."
Host: "Whoa, give me a sec. You are sending out some family-sized vibes; my fillings are still humming."

Angel: "You won't tell me anything?"
Host: "I'll tell you you're headed into trouble, with a capital 'Troub'."

Cordelia: "Angel Investigations -- we solve big problems for small prices!"

Wesley: "You really stood up to him. "Next time I talk to him, I won't weenie out like you, Wesley"."
Cordelia: "Don't start with me. And if I sound like that shoot me."
(Wes pulls out a tranqulizer gun)
Cordelia: "Just a joke!"

Actor: "This linguini smells so, you know, true. I'm just gonna mime eating here, I gotta watch the figure."

Actor: "Work is work. Last year I did this puppet theater of the absurd, and believe me it was...aah!"
Darla: "If you don't shut up, I'm going to kill you."
Actor: "Okay."

Cordelia: "It's not like he turns evil every time he gets this cranky."
Gunn: "He turns evil?"

Gunn: "As evil blood-suck vampires go, how would you rate Angelus?"
Wesley: "Historically, as bad as they come. Especially when he was with his sire, Darla."
Cordelia: "We're researching her now to see if she has some kind of resurrection powers. Maybe she's a vampire cat with nine lives!"

Gunn: "So, he and Darla together, bad combo."
Wesley: "They rampaged through half the known world, until Angel got his soul."
Cordelia: "Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they had 150 years to get it right."

Darla: "You made quite a mess out there -- the blood and habits everywhere."
Angelus: "Convents. They're just a big cookie jar."

Drusilla: "Snake in the wood shed!"

Lindsey: "Woman should have her own series."

Gunn: "There's nothing I respect more than loyalty."
Wesley: "That's good to hear."
Gunn: "But if the bad Angel walks through that door, I will kill him in two seconds flat."

Cordelia: "He wouldn't; Angel could never..."
Wesley: "He's not that type of person."
Kate: "In fact, he's not a person at all, is he?"

Kate: "You got any priors?"
Gunn: "I forget."

Angel: "So, you're what Wolfram & Hart brought back in that box. And they brought you back human. They think I won't kill one. You want to know what I think? I think, they don't know me that well."

Angel: "It's been a long time since I said this to anyone: But you can scream all you want."
Darla: "Ooooh. I'm not gonna scream."

Kate:" Disturbing the peace, resisting arrest, GTA, assault -- you've led a rich, full life, haven't you Charles?"
Gunn: "I get around."
Cordelia: "I know this guy. He helps people. I bet this stuff you're dredging up happened a long time ago, didn't it?"
Kate: "Some of it was when he was a minor."
Cordelia: "Uh-HUH!"
Kate: "And some of it was in the last two weeks."
Cordelia: "Oh."

Kate: "I know he hasn't changed."
Gunn: "No. He hasn't. He's still a vampire."
Cordelia: "Gunn! Not helping!"

Angel: "What's the big plan? Get me so screwed up I go bad again?"
Darla: "Kind of trite, I know. But what do you expect? They're only human."
Angel: "Better embrace that mediocrity, honey. You're talking about your own kind now."

Darla: "All you have do, is let me give you one little moment of happiness."
Angel: "You took me places, showed me things. You blew the top off my head. But you never made me happy."

Darla: "But that...that cheerleader did?"

Angel: "You couldn't understand."
Darla: "I understand all right. Guy gets a taste of something fresh, and he thinks he's touching God."

Darla: "What a poster child for soulfulness you are."

Darla: "You were a legend. Nobody could keep up with you. Not even me. You don't learn that kind of darkness."

Darla: "You say you can smell me. Well, I can smell you, too. And my boy is still in there, and he wants out."

Angel: "You're gonna feel it, you know. What you did. That man you got killed."
Darla: "Please. He was an actor."

Angel: "Darla, you hurt anyone else, and I'll kill you."
Darla: "Will you? Isn't that against your cub scout code?"
Angel: "I'll make an exception."

Darla: "See? No matter how good a boy you are, God doesn't want you...But I still do."

Cordelia: "We haven't seen you all day. We were just wondering if everything was, you know, copacetic."
Angel: "I didn't go bad Cordelia."
Cordelia: "Oh, I was never worried about that boss. Of course, Mr. Fussypants always assumes the worst."

Wesley: "There's going to be trouble."
Angel: "There's gonna be a lot of trouble. And I say, bring it on."