Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats

Are you blind when you're born?
Can you see in the dark?
Dare you look at a king?
Would you sit his throne?
Can you say of your bite, that it's worse than your bark?
Are you cock of the walk when you're walking alone?

Because Jellicles are and Jellicles do,
Jellicles do and Jellicles would,
Jellicles would and Jellicles can,
Jellicles can Jellicles do.

When you fall on your head do you land on your feet?
Are you tense when you sense there's a storm in the air?
Can you find your why blind when you're lost in the street?
Do you know how to go the Heavyside Layer?

Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do,
Jellicles do and Jellicles can,
Jellicles can and Jellicles do,
Jellicles do and Jellicles can,
Jellicles can and Jellicles do.

Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant?
Familiar with candle, with book and with bell?
Were you Whittingdon's friend?
The Pied Piper's assistant?
Have you been an alumnus of Heaven and Hell?
Are you mean like Minx?
Are you lean like a Lynx?
Are you keen to be seen when you're smelling a rat?
Were you there when the Pharaohs commissioned the Sphinx?
If you were and you are, you're a Jellicle cat.

Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats.

We can fly through the air
like a flying trapeze.
We can turn double somersaults,
bounce on a tyre.
We can run up a wall,
we can swing thru trees.
We can balance on bars,
we can walk on a wire,

Jellicles can and Jellicles do,
Jellicles can and Jellicles do,
Jellicles can and Jellicles do,
Jellicles can and Jellicles do,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats.

Can you sing at the same time,
in more than one key.
Duets by Rossini and waltzes by Strauss?
Ah............
And can (as cats do) begin with a c?
Ah!
That always triumphantly brings down the house?

Jellicle Cats are queen of the nights,
singing at astronomical heights.
Handeling pieces from the Messiah.
Hallelujah, angelical choir.

The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity.
Round the cathedral rang "Vivat!"
Life to the ever lasting cat.
Feline, fearless, faithful and true
to others who do what

Jellicles can and Jellicles do,
Jellicles do and Jellicles can,
Jellicle Cats sing Jellicle chants,
Jellicles old and Jellicles new.
Jellicle songs and Jellicle dance.
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellciel Cats.

Practical cats, dramatical cats.
Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats.
Oratorical cats, delphicoracle cats.
Sceptical cats, dispeptical cats.
Romantical cats, pedantical cats.
Critical cats, parasitical cats.
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats.
Statistical cats and mystical cats, Political cats.
Hypocritical cats, Clerical cats, hysterical cats.
Cynical cats, rabbinical cats.

Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats.

There's a man over there, with a look of surprise.
As much as to say, well now how about that?
Do I actually see, with my own very eyes,
A man who's not heard of a Jellicle Cat?
What's a Jellicle Cats?

The Old Gumbie Cat

I have a Gumbie Cat in mind,
her name is Jennyanydots.
Her coat is of the tabby kind,
with tiger stripes and leopard spots.
All day she sites beneath the stair,
or on the steps or on the mat:
She sits and sits and sits and sits,
and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
That's what makes a Gumbie Cats!

But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
And when all the family's in bed and aleep
She tucks up her skirts to the basement to creep.
She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice:
Their behaviour's not good and their manners not nice.
So when she has got them lined up on the matting,
she teaches them music, crocheting and tatting.

I have a Gumbie Cat in mind,
her name is Jennyanydots.
The curtain cord she likes to wind
and tie it into sailor knots.
She sits upon the windowsill,
or anything that's smooth and flat:
She sits and sits and sits and sits,
and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
That's what makes a Gumbie Cats!

But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
She thinks that the cockroaches need employment
to prevent them fromidle and wanton destroyment.
So she's formed from that lot of disorderly louts,
a troop of well disciplined helpful boy scouts.
With a purpose in life and a good deed to do;
And she's even created a Beetle's Tatoo.

For she's a jolly good fellow!
Thank you my dears!

Bustopher Jones: The Cat About Town

Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones,
In fact he's remarkably fat.
He doesn't haunt pubs,
he has eight or nine clubs.
For he's the St. James's Street Cat!

He's the cat we all greet,
as he walks down the street
in his coat of fastidious black.
No common place mousers
have such well cut trousers,
or such an impeccable back.

In the whole os St. James's
the smartest of names
is the name of this Brummell of cats;
And we're all of us proud
to be nodded or bowed to by
Bustopher Jones in white spats!

My visits are occasional to the Senior Educational
and it is against the rules for any one Cat to belong both to that
and the Joint Superior School.
When I'm seen in a hurry
there's probably curry
at the "Siamese" or at the "Glutton";
If I look full of gloom
then I've lunched at the "Tomb"
on cabbage, rice pudding and mutton.

In the whole os St. James's
the smartest of names
is the name of this Brummell of cats;
And we're all of us proud
to be nodded or bowed to by
Bustopher Jones in white,
Bustopher Jones in white,
Bustopher Jones in white spats!

So much in this way
passes Bustopher's day,
at one club or another he's found.
It can be no surprise
that under our eyes
he has grown unmistakably round.
He's a twenty five pounder
or I am a bounder.
And he's putting on weight every day.
But I'm so well preserved
because I've observed
all my life a rountine;
and I'd say I am still in my prime;
I shall last out my time.
That's the word from this stoutest of cats.

It must and it shall
be Spring in Pall Mall
while Bustopher Jones wears white,
Bustopher Jones wears white,
Bustopher Jones wear white spats!

Old Deuteronomy

I believe it is Old Deutoronomy.
Well of all things; can it be really!
No, Yes, Ho! Hi! Oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deutoronomy.

Old Deutoronomy's lived a long time;
He's a cat who has lived many lives
in succession.
He was famous in proverb
and famous in rhyme.
A long while bfore Queen Victoria's accession.

Old Deutoronomy's burried nine wives.
And more I an tempted to say, ninety nine.
And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives,
The villiage is proud of him in his decline.

At the site of that placid and bland physiognomy,
when he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall;
The Oldest inhabitant croaks:

Well of all things; can it be really!
No, Yes, Ho! Hi! Oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deutoronomy.

Well of all things; can it be really!
No, Yes, Ho! Hi! Oh my eye!
My legs may be tottery, I must go slow.
And be careful of Old Duetoronomy

Gus: The Theatre Cat

Gus is the cat at the Theatre door.
His name, as I ought to have told you before,
Is really Asparagus.
But that's such a fuss, to pronounce,
that we usually call him just Gus.

His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake,
and he suffers from palsy that makes his paws shake.
Yeh he was in his you,
quite the smartest of cats; but no longer a terror
to mice and to rats.

For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime;
Though his name was quite famous, he says,
in his time.
And when ever he joins his friends at their club
(Which takes place at the back of the neighbouring pub).
He loves to ragale them, if someone else pays,
With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days.

For he once was a Star
of the highest degree:
He had acted with Irving, he's acted with Tree.
And he likes to relate
his success on the Halls,
where the Gallery once gave him seven cat calls.

But his greatest creation as he loves to tell,
was Firefrorefiddle the Fiend of the Fell.

I have played in my time,
ev'ry possible part,
And I used to know seventy speaches by heart.
I'd ex temporize backchat, I knew how to gag,
And I knew how to let the cat
out of the bag.
I knew how to act
with my back and my tail;
With an hour of rehersal, I never could fail.
i'd a voice that could soften the hardest of hearts,
whether I took the lead, or in character parts.

I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell;
When the curfew was rung, then I swung on the bell.
In the Pantomime season I never fell flat,
and I once understudied Dick Whittington's cat.

But my grandest creation, as hist'ry will tell,
was Firefrorefiddle the Fiend of the Fell.

Then, if someone will give him a tooth full of gin,
he will tell how he once played a part in "East Lynne."
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat,
when some actor suggested the need for a cat.

And I say: Now these kittens,
they do not get trained as we did
in the days when Victoria reigned.
They never get drilled in a regular troupe
and they think they are smart
just to jump through a hoop.

And he says as he scratches himself with his claws;
Well the Theatre is certainly not what it was.
These modern productions are all very well,
but nothing to equal, from what I hear tell;

that moment of mystery when I made history
as Firefrorefiddle the Fiend of the Fell.

And I once crossed the stage on a telegraph wire
To rescue a child when a house was on fire.
And I think that I can still can much better than most
Produce blood-curdling noises to bring on the Ghost.
I once played Growltiger, could do it again...

Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat

Skimbleshanks, the Railway Cat,
the Cat of the Railway Train!

There's a whisper down the line at eleven thirty nine
when the Night Mail's ready to depart;
Saying, "Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him or the train can't start."
All the gaurds and all the porters and the station master's daughters
would be searching high and low;
Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble, for unless he's very nimble
then the Night Mail just can't go?'

At eleven forty two, with the signals overdue
and the passengers all frantic to a man;
That's when I would would appear,
and I'd saunter to the rear:
I'd been busy in the luggage van!

Then he gave one flash of his glassgreen eyes
and the signal went 'All Clear!'
They'd be off at last for the northern part
Of the Northern Hemisphere.

Skimbleshanks, the Railway Cat,
the Cat of the Railway Train!

You could say that by and large
is was me who was in charge.
Of the Sleeping Car Express.
From the driver and the gaurds
to the bagmen playing cards
I would supervise them all, more or less.

Down the corridor he paces and examines all the faces
of the travelers in the First and the Third.
He establishes comtrol by a regular patrol
And he'd know at one if any thing occurred.

He would watch you without winking
and he saw what you were thinking
and it's certain that he didn't approve;
Of hilarity and riot so the folk were very quiet
when Skimble was about and on the move.

You could play no pranks with Skimbleshanks!
He's a cat that couldn't be ignored.
So nothing went wrong on the Northern Mail
When Skimbleshanks was aboard.

It was very pleasant when they'd found their little den
With their name written up on the door.
And the berth was very neat with a newly folded sheet
not a speck of dust on the floor.

There was every sort of light, you could make it dark or bright
and a button you could turn to make a breeze.
And a funny little basin you're supposed to wash your face in
and a crank to shut the window if you sneeze.

Then the guard looked in politely and would ask you very brightly
"Do you like your morning tea weak or strong?"
But I was just behind him and was ready to reminf him
for Skimble won't let anything go wrong.

When they crept into their cozy berths and pulled up the counterpane;
they all could reflect it was ve nice to know that they wouldn't be bothered by mice
They could leave all that to the Railway Cat,
The cat of the Railway Train.

In the wathces of the night I was always fresh and bright;
ev'ry now and then I'd have a cup of tea;
With perhaps a drop of scotch while I was keeping on the watch,
Only stopping here and there to catch a flea.
They were fast asleep at Crewe and so they never knew
That I was walking up and down the station
They were sleeping all the while I was busy at Carslisle,
Where I met the station master with elation.
They might see me at Dumfries if I summoned the police,
If there was anything they ought to know about.
When they got to Gallowgate there they did not have to wait
for Skimbleshanks would help them get out!

And he gives you a wave of his long brown tail
Which says: I'll see you again!
You'll meet without fail on the Midnight Mail
the Cat of the Railway Train!

Mr. Mistoffelees

Tugger: "You ought to know about Mr. Mistoffelees
the original Conjuring Cat. (There can be no
doubt about that.) Please listen to me and don't
scoff. All his inventions are off his own bat.
Theres no such cat in the Metropolis: he holds
all the patent monopolies, For performing
surprising illusions and creating eccentric confusions."

The greatest magicians have something to learn
from Mister Mistoffelees Conjuring Turn.

And you'll all say:
Oh! Well I never was there ever
a cat so clever as Magical Mister Mistoffelees.

He is quiet he is small he is black,
from his ear to the tip of his tail.
He can creep thru' the tinniest crack,
He can walk on the narrowest rail.
He can pick any card from a pack,
he is equally cunning with dice.
He is always deceiving you into believing
that he's only hunting for mice.

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste.
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced;
You have seen it one moment, and then it is gone
But you find it next week lying out on the lawn.

And we all say:
Oh! Well I never was there ever
a cat so clever as Magical Mister Mistoffelees.

Oh! Well I never was there ever
a cat so clever as Magical Mister Mistoffelees.