Collected Works

Here i will post some of my writing. Most of it is shit that i do at 1 in the morning. I just write with no direction and see where it takes me. I may revise/update some entries.

Posted: 8/1/05

It was the most beautiful thing I"ve ever seen. A black speck on top of a wall of gray, fists thrust to the sky in achievement. A hand grabs me and shakes me wildly, "he did it! He climbed the whole fucking thing! And you said he couldn't do it." I stare blankly back into the hand's master. I turn my stare away from my friend next to me and return it to the one on the cliff. A sea of oranges and reds behind him make the sight more beautiful. Too bad I lost, I think to myself. The speck on the cliff falls and descends from his high horse and crashes into the meadow I stand in. No, he is my friend, even though I lost the bet I should be happy for him. But I've been here too long, standing, staring, and wishing his failure. My body feels beat, exhausted by his success. I remember turning then running. Wanting to get away from it all. But that's not what happened. I still stand, still stare at the speck and still wish he would fall. The next morning he made his descent. I busied myself with packing and cleaning up the campsite. I join my on looking friend at the base of the cliff. Taking off my beanie, I scratch my hair. Beanies always make my head itch. Once the victorious friend was on the ground I put on a façade of a graceful looser. In the beat up Nova, I remember sitting in the back brooding, while my friends joked and chattered about yesterday's climb. One thing stuck in my mind before I fell asleep. One had accomplished something, the other hadn't. One's life was complete the other was merely a bystander, a piece of trash blowing in the wind. Never had he thought for himself, he always sided with the friend next to him. Without that other one his life would be meaningless. Because of that friend his life was complete. I woke up to the sound of a loud crash. A gun? I thought. The world was twirling in a blender. My friends in the front seat are screaming, "Oh fuck!" Their heads slam forward. Something hard smashed against my head. The world goes black. Is this it? Is this the end? I lost consciousness. Bright lights woke me as my eyes attempted to focus. A hospital, what was I doing in a hospital? Nurses and doctors run about too busy to notice I'm awake. I try to sit up but pain denies me so I lay and stare. I try to remember what happened, but only blurred visions of two men in the front seat appear. The front seat...of a car! Where were those two men? Was I in a car accident? Must be that. Why else would I be here? But where were the two men? More importantly who were the two men? All this results in a headache. I close my eyelids to search for sleep. I awake once again to the same sight, nurses and doctors running from bed to bed in their busy little world, but now this world is deeper. The sterile smell of the bed, of the equipment, the floors, the air overwhelms me. Everything around  wavers and falls into place.