September

September 28th, 2002

September 29, 2002 sunday

Hi all.  This is my first journal entry!  Do any of you know what it feels like to have your girlfriend rip your heart out of chest, and then feed it to you?  My girlfriend of 18 month did that a couple weeks ago when she dumped me to go with some other guy.  Do you know how difficult that is?  To find out that you no longer make the other person happy, and that they no longer feel the love, and share it with you?  It's been hard to cope with, but there is one speck of  light in this dark moment.  I recently found a good friend.  She has helped me to overcome my grief, and actually look forward to living.  She's so nice, and I hope that it remaines that way for a long time.  She's so different than me.  I'm so shy, and quiet around people I don't know, and she never stops talking(it's not a bad thing) to anyone.  I'm surprised that I can actually look her in the eye and say something.  I'm surprised I don't have a nerovus breakdown, because usually I do when I speak to girls.  I guess it's because of my shyness that I do that.  I don't know.  Anyway I'm glad that I found her, because I feel happy for some reason when i talk to her. Actually I'm kinda glad that my ex, Kara Manning, broke up with me.  It made me go back and realize that the relationship we had would have never worked out.  It's sad in a way that me and her will never love each other again, but you know what?  She's not worth it.  If she can just toss me away without sadness then she wasn't worth the emotional pain, and suffering.  Anyway, I'm just happy right now, because I have a new friend that is actually enjoyable to be around.  And because she makes me forget what I had with K.M. and see that any emotions spent on my ex, is wasted and that they are better served being spent on somebody else(whoever that might be).

Hi all.  Work sucked today, it was to busy.  Oh, for those of you who don't know, I work at Giant Eagle.  The game between Pittsburg, and Cleveland made today a particularly busy day.  Time dragged on forever, and it seemed like an eternity.  Nothing really important happened today, and I don't really know of anything to talk about.  Hmm........ I don't know.  I didn't see anybody I knew come in, I didn't really do anything worth mentioning.  Today was a lousy day, and uneventful. Oh well.  I guess that's all I'm going to write for today, as I have nothing else to write.

September 30, 2002 monday Hi all.  Nothing new to report once again.  School was a bitch today, boring as hell.  Let's see.....This morning i really didn't do much except walk around with AC and her friends.  Then the school day went as usual and nothing unusal happened. I took AC home again, and then here i am typing my entry.  Hmmmm.... what else.... oh yeah my step sister in law is having a child, so thats exciting i guess.  Not really, but hey.  Anyway I was going to goto best buy to get Kingdom Hearts, but I decided against it.  I don't know, it's so boring here in canal fulton.  addin- 9:52 p.m. I feel good right now, nice and happy.  I actaully was able to stay down my fears, and go for something i wanted.  Okay, AC said that she was waiting for me to ask her out, then said she was joking.  We "argued" back and forth, and she said whe was serious, and then I said what I never thought i could say.  After explaining to her why I liked her, I then asked her to go out with me.  I feel great right now.  I was able to face down my fears, and solidify my relationship with somebody. She's great, and I hope that we atleast remain friends for a long time.