The other direction "Fun and Games" could have gone in...

"B3."

"B...what!? You sank my battleship!" shrieked Zo'or furiously.

"Yeah, that happens sometimes," said Liam unsympthetically, looking down at his own untouched fleet. "That's why they call it 'Battleship'." He popped a chip into his mouth. His newest discovery: salt-and-vinegar. None of his parents had eaten that flavour, so in retaliation it was the only kind he'd eat. At least until he got tired of it.

"But that is...it's impossible!" sputtered Zo'or. "I am a superior being! My strategy was perfect! You. Cannot. Have. Sunk. My. Ship!" He pounded his fist on the floor for emphasis and hit the bowl of popcorn, sending kernels flying across the room.

"Sorry," said Liam, looking completely unapologetic. "But hey, you still have one ship left. And I'm sure you'll hit one of mine very, very soon."

"Very well," said Zo'or, wiping the butter off his hand. "C5."

"Miss," said Liam laconically, crunching on another chip. "D10."

"D10 is also a miss," said Zo'or with a sly smile.

"What?" said Liam. He sat up quickly, scattering salt-and-vinegar potato chips everywhere. "D10 can't be a miss, Zo'or! I know where all your ships are! I had a vision! D10 is your submarine!"

"Ah ha!" said Zo'or, pointing accusingly. "I knew you were cheating! I am a superior being and cheating is the only way you could have defeated me!"

"Hey, who's talking about cheating, Mr. 'That was a miss'?" asked Liam. "Anyway, there's nothing in the rules about using visions. I checked." He stuck out his tongue.

"Visions are clearly prohibited in the Taelon supplement to the rules," said Zo'or majestically. "Which you would know, if you had taken the time to read them."

"You haven't translated those rules into English," protested Liam.

"Ignorance is no excuse," intoned Zo'or. He walked over to the computer, pulling the popcorn off the soles of his feet, and called up the rules. "As you can see, anyone using visions immediately forfeits the game. You lose!" The Taelon turned and stuck out his tongue.

"Wait a minute," said Liam. Chips crunched under foot as he walked over to the computer. "That's not what it says at all! There's nothing in there about visions! These aren't even Battleship rules! This is a children's story!"

"You can read Eunoia," said Zo'or accusingly. "No human can read Eunoia without a CVI. Most of them can't read it with a CVI!"

"Not too many humans have visions, either, oh superior being," observed Liam. "You know, there's something I've meaning to tell you for a while now. We've developed such a bond over these games that I feel I can finally trust you. I'm not, uh, entirely human. I'm actually one-third Kimera."

Zo'or whooped triumphantly. "If you're Kimera, you forfeit. Kimera automatically lose to Taelons in everything. It's in the global supplement to the All-Encompassing Rules."

"There's no such thing!" objected Liam.

"Of course there is," said Zo'or, pulling himself taller. "I made those rules. I'm the Synod leader. I can do anything."

"Hey! You promised you'd play fairly! No invoking Synod authority!" Liam took a threatening step towards the much shorter Taelon.

"You're the one with the visions!"

"Visions are part of a Kimera's natural ability. Asking me not to use them would be like asking me to play blindfolded."

"You've been cheating all along! That's how you always win!" Zo'or stopped and then started to laugh. "I knew it!" he gloated, dancing around. "Humans really are the inferior species! You only won because you're Kimera! I am superior!"

"Watch out!" called Liam. Zo'or twisted and crashed into the human's nearly full glass of coke, sending the drink spilling over the game. He looked down at it with chagrin.

"Ooops."

"That's the end of that game," said Liam. "The pieces will be too sticky to play with now."

"So no one wins," said Zo'or.

"I guess not," agreed Liam. He paused. "Wanna play something else now? We haven't tried Twister yet."

"Okay," agreed Zo'or, trying to mop up the coke from his foot. "I didn't play many games when I was a kid," he confided. "I was an only child, growing up. The only child in my whole race. No one ever wanted to play."

"I know exactly what you mean," said Liam. "Let's go find the game. But this time, you have to promise not to throw a temper tantrum when you lose."

"I never lose my temper," said Zo'or disdainfully. "And I won't lose this game."

"Yeah, right. You always lose."

"Do not."

"Do too." Liam paused at the door of Zo'or's quarters and surveyed the wreckage of the room. "Think we should clean up first?"

"Let Da'an do it," said Zo'or. "Synod Leader's prerogative. Besides, it's really all his fault. If he'd played with me more as a child, I wouldn't have to cheat as an adult."

"Fine by me," said Liam. "But where do you want to play Twister? We can't play here now."

Zo'or looked thoughtful. "I think if we remove the furniture from Da'an's room, there should be sufficient space."

"Too much work."

"Not if the Volunteers do it. Which they will. After all, I am the Synod Leader."

"Great! Let's go."

"After you," said Zo'or with a smile. "I was thinking that after we finish with Twister, we could try a new game. Have you ever heard of one called World Domination? I thought perhaps we could be on the same side for that..."

FIN

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With thanks to Cynmar and Ir'ahl.

Feedback can be directed to Ryouko
Archived at http://www.oocities.org/ryouko_00/efcfic.htm