The scene opens inside a conference roof of a luxury five star hotel in the Miami area. In the room we can see lots of people sitting on chairs all faced towards one long table. This group of people include Lisa Blunt, Brian Wilson and Josh Landers, the rest of the people are journalists, some are wrestling journalists, some are general sports journalists, a few are journalists from the Entertainment sector and finally one or two are writers from gossip magazines. Behind the long table three chairs are set up, in front of each chair on the table are name signs, the sign on the left of the table says MAGENTA, the sign in the middle says Shane Parker, and finally the signs on the right says OCW AGGRESSION CHAMPION SABRE. From this description it is it a fairly basic assumption that a press conference is about to go down. As we wait for the conference to begin we can overhear Josh, Lisa and Brian talking to each other.

Lisa Blunt: Hey Boys, have you got any idea what this is about.

Brian Wilson: No idea Lisa, I was just about to put together a report on the last edition of Blast when I heard that Sabre and Magenta were calling a pres conference, so I put everything down and came here to see what they had to say.

Josh Landers: I heard it was a pretty important announcement, so I’m definitely going to be listening to every word to see what happens.

Lisa Blunt (putting her finger to her lips) Sssssh boys, here comes Shane Parker, perhaps he can tell us what’s going on.

Sure enough Shane Parker emerges from behind a curtain and takes a seat behind his name sign, he then adjusts a small microphone to make sure he can heard properly.

Shane Parker: Hello everybody, Shane Parker here, now I’m sure you’re all wondering what you’re doing here, so without further ado I’ll inform you all. A couple of hours ago Sabre and Magenta got into contact with me, and told me that they wanted to do a press conference, so being the naturally helpful person I am, I set one up for them, which as you might have guessed is this very press conference.

Slightly Obese Entertainment Journalist sitting near Lisa Blunt: But what’s it all about though.

Shane Parker: Actually I’m not sure, they never told me. I’m just as curious as you all are, anyway we won’t have to wait long to find out because it is my pleasure right now to introduce to you the OCW Aggression Champion Sabre and the Lovely Magenta.

Sabre and Magenta now emerge from behind the same curtain that Shane Parker came from, Sabre has his Aggression title belt over his shoulder, they then take their respective seats.

Sabre: Hello everyone, I’m glad you could all make it, because Magenta and I both have huge announcements for not just you, but for all the people watching at home.

Lisa Blunt: What is in then Sabre, and it had better be good because I had to turn down a date with a famous Hollywood actor to be here.

Sabre: Lisa, I see you’re as blunt as always, okay if you don’t want me to beat around the bush I’ll get to the point fairly quickly. Over the last six months, Magenta and I have had a great time in OCW, I’ve held the Aggression Title twice and I still hold it to this day.

Sabre proudly strokes his title belt.

Sabre: And I’ve also had memorable wins over current Ultimate Champion Painkiller and J-Man in our epic three falls match at Night of Redemption, so all in all I’ve had a great time in the last six months.

Magenta: And I’ve enjoyed an unbeaten run since I’ve been here and I’ve also shown that I’m the best female competitor in OCW history, so my time here has been very well spent.

Sabre: I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’ve enjoyed tremendous success here, anyway enough of the filler let’s get to the point of this press conference. As you know mine and Magenta’s contracts are up for renewal in the next few days, and after much soul searching and despite our huge success and love for this company and business, we have decided to not renew our contracts and retire from wrestling.

A stunned silence hits the conference room, eventually Josh Landers breaks the silence by asking a question.

Josh Landers: I didn’t expect that Sabre, what brings that move on.

Sabre: It’s simple Josh, as much as Magenta and I love wrestling we feel now is the right time to get out of the business.

Magenta: That’s right Sabre, we’ve achieved more than we ever thought possible when we entered wrestling and at the moment we are both on top of the wrestling ladder, so now is as good a time as any to bow out.

Sabre: During my wrestling career I’ve reached the very heights of this profession. I held the OCW world title twice, the WWWP world title twice as well as numerous other belts, and Magenta held the EHWC television and tag team titles. From here the only way is down and that is not somewhere I want to go. I always wanted to leave this business at the top, physically at one hundred percent and with all my faculties in tact, plus the fact that both Magenta and I have hundreds of offers on the table means that now is the perfect time to hang up our boots.

Brian Wilson: (Almost with a tear in his eye) I can’t believe you guys are going, this place just won’t be the same without you. Anyway since you’re both going what are your plans for the future.

Magenta: Well I’ve got a lot of acting offers on the table, and that’s a field I’d definitely like to be more involved in, and with my looks a lot of people think I should get into modelling. I might just go in that direction as well, although I think I’d prefer to stick to the acting.

Sabre: And I have a lot of acting offers on the table now, as you all know Sony Pictures offered me a three movie deal for a very large sum of money, so large that I would be pretty stupid to turn it down. I also have a standing offer on the table to start playing rugby league for Leeds Rhinos, and that contract would earn me over a million pounds a year so it is well worth considering. I have so many offers on the table at the moment that it is almost too difficult to know where to start.

Female wrestling journalist sitting to the right of Brian Wilson: What are your best memories of your wrestling career then.

Magenta: For me it’s got to be winning the EHWC Tag team titles, sure winning the EHWC TV title was great, and beating Nancy Gream all those times was most enjoyable, but for me winning those tag belts was extra special, because not only did that win put me on the map as a great wrestler not just a great manager, I also won the belt fighting alongside the man I love, which made it even more special.

Sabre: I loved winning those tag belts with Magenta too, and I gained a lot of pleasure from beating Paul Middle to become the first ever WWWP World Champion, but for me the crowning achievement in my wrestling career was to beat Chris Shea in that legendary sledgehammer cage match to become the OCW world champion. That was such an achievement that I don’t think I’ll ever forget how good I felt that night.

Josh Landers: During your career you’ve both been famous for never respecting your opponents, but deep down what opponents have you admired.

Magenta: I really enjoyed the rivalry between the Terror Squad and The Dutch Alliance in the WWWP, that war featured some really intense battles and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Sabre: For me there are just so many great opponents out there, that it would be just too difficult to list them all. I know I’ve said in the past that I’ve never respected any of my opponents but deep down I always loved coming up against people like Chris Shea, Chris Kostoff, Blade Helms, Paul Middle, El Nutso, Ryan Trent, JMK, Master, The Mysterious Shadow, Painkiller, J-Man and Bobby D because against guys like those you were always guaranteed a tough challenging fight, where you’d have to at your absolute best if you wanted to get the job done, and it’s those kind of challenging matches that I really enjoyed.

Lisa Blunt: Well before you leave for good have you got any last words to say.

Sabre: Yes I do Lisa, I’ve enjoyed every minute of my wrestling career, and I’ve enjoyed coming up against all manner of challenges and usually overcoming them. Before I go I would like to thank all my past opponents for putting up some great fights, and I’d also like to thank all the people who I’ve worked for, for been such understanding bosses. All I can hope for is that in the years to come I can look back on these days fondly, although having had as much success as I’ve had I have no doubt that will be the case.

Shane Parker: Well I think that about raps things up folks, thanks for spending your time coming here, although I’m sure that the news was big enough to warrant coming all the way out here. Anyway before we go I’d like to thank Sabre and Magenta for giving us so many memories and I’d like to wish them well in their future endeavours.

Sabre: Oh by the way Shane one last thing before we do go, and I’m sure all you journalists will want to here this so get your notes back out and turn your Dictaphones back on, because this last piece of news is pretty important too.

The reporters duly oblige Sabre and get their notes back out.

Sabre and Magenta: APR I L F0OLS!!

Sabre: You bunch of gullible bastards, did you actually think I was going to quit, you must all be stupider than you look. And all that other bullshit I was saying did you really believe that too, because if you did then you’re a complete and utter moron. As if I respect any of those guys I mentioned, they’re all a bunch of jackasses as far as I’m concerned. I hate every last one of them, and it’s my firm belief that not a single one of those chumps belongs in the same ring as someone with my world-class level of ability. And as for leaving this fed you must be insane if you think I’m going to leave before I win the Ultimate Title. My goal here is to win the Ultimate title, and then show everyone that I’m the greatest champ of all time, and since I’ve already beat Painkiller I have no doubt that I’ll be achieving that goal in the not too distant future. I’m not even going to think about quitting this fed until that goal is achieved, those movie companies can stick their contracts up their asses as far as I’m concerned, because I already have more than enough money in the bank, more than enough Ferraris in my garage and more than enough helicopters on my helicopter pads so I don’t need any more of their cash, all those bloody movie companies will just have to accept that wrestling is easily my primary goal not acting or playing some shitty sport. In reality both Magenta and I signed new six-month contracts this morning, and I’ll tell you all now during those six months we are going to bring new meanings to the word success, I’m going to be racking up win after win and in the not too distant future I’ll be grabbing the Ultimate Title and there’s not a damn thing Painkiller or anyone else can do about it.

Magenta: And you all call yourself journalists, not one of you have a clue do you, especially Lisa, Josh and Brian, what a bunch of imbeciles.

Sabre: Jesus, what a bunch of tools, anyway as I was saying Magenta and I have just signed new six month contracts, and as you already know these six months will see us achieve unheard of success, and that success will start this week on Blast when I kick JMK’s and Amos Stamos’ butts into the middle of next week. Those two guys might be in the upper echelon of OCW but when I get my hands of them they are going down big time. On Monday those two just won’t know what’s hit them when they feel the full force of my immense power. Big move after big move will rain down on them until I pick up yet another impressive victory. Over the last few weeks I’m sure you’ve all noticed the ease in which I beat J-Man, Painkiller, Dan Downtown and won the Aggression Title, well this week will be no different, because as much as my opponents will try to come out on top, they will just fail and fail miserably, because I’m on my way to the top here and not even the likes of Stamos and McKain can get in my way, try as they might the only thing they’ll be getting is one hell of a sabreizing. I almost feel sorry for all the other OCW wrestlers because if I had left the fed some of them might have had a chance to make it big, but since I’m staying all they will get is one good old fashioned ass whopping from yours truly as I once again resume my rightful mantle as the greatest wrestler this company has ever seen.

Magenta: All the other wrestlers had better get used to pain, because over the next six months that’s is the only thing they’re going to feel. Anyway you bunch of losers, we’re off, we’ve done everything we wanted to do today, and that was to pull off the best April Fools joke in recent memory and to show all you lot up and make you look like the mindless cretins that we know you are.

Sabre: As the old saying goes there’s a sucker born every day but today it seems like we’ve got a whole room of them. So that’s it you sad bastards we’re off and we’ll probably see you all in a years time when we trick you again.

Sabre and Magenta get up and go behind the curtain leaving all the journalists to look on slightly red faced. The scene then fades to black.