When the scene opens we are inside an OCW Production Truck, currently there are a couple of members of the production crew in there messing about with some type of control panel. This particular panel is the one that controls the arena’s music system.

Worker 1: I’m definitely convinced that some of the wrestlers need to change there entrance themes, some of those theme songs just don’t work at all.

Worker 2: I’m not sure the wrestlers will go along with you though, most of them are pretty set in their ways.

Worker 1: Well perhaps if we showed the wrestlers some of our ideas they might go along with them.

Worker 2: Perhaps, so what did you have in mind then.

Worker 1: Well I think you need music which pumps the crowd up, but most wrestlers seem to have either rap or heavy metal music for there themes and for me that doesn’t really work. It just doesn’t lift the crowd up.

Worker 2: You’ve got a point there, some of those rap songs probably turn the crowd off, rather than get them excited. Anyway have you got any music we could experiment with.

Worker 1: Sure thing I’ve got a tape right here. I think this music would be perfect for just about any wrestler on the roster.

The worker puts the tape in the tape deck on the console, and the music starts playing, despite the workers recommendations it’s nothing special, it just sounds like your typical mid ninties Euro Pop, but despite the fact that the song isn’t that great the worker seems to like it as he is tapping his feet to it like there was no tomorrow. The music keeps playing for about a minute, with the worker tapping his feet for the entire time, after a minute though the door to the production truck slams open and the unmistakeable voice of Sabre can be heard booming through the truck.

Sabre: Turn that shit off right now, before I come in that truck and rip your bloody heads off.

Wisely the workers turn the music off straight away, however this doesn’t stop Sabre accompanied by Magenta from coming into the production truck and heading straight over to where the workers are.

Sabre: What the hell do you two think you’re playing at, Magenta and I were having a nice relaxing walk around the stadium, when suddenly you ruined everything by blaring out that god awful music.

Worker 1: Sorry Sabre, but we were just experimenting with new ideas for wrestler entrance themes, and that song was one of my ideas.

Magenta: It’s just as well, Middle doesn’t pay you for your creative input then, because that song was terrible.

Sabre: And your excuse was totally unacceptable, you two are just like a game of golf, you totally ruined a good walk, so I should knock both your blocks off. But for the time being I might let you off because while I’m here I might as well use your expertise to try out some ideas I had for other wrestler’s theme music. Perhaps starting with my opponents at April Attitude.

Worker 2: So what did you have in mind then.

Sabre: For Dan Downtown I think a song like I’m an Untalented bastard or I’m the world’s greatest loser will do, unfortunately though those songs don’t exist. So I think I’ll have to settle for Stupid Girl. That song suits him perfectly because he is just so stupid.

Worker 2: But Dan’s a man.

Sabre: But when I get my hands on him, and lock him in the Sabre Death Lock, he’ll be tapping out and screaming like a girl within seconds so the song is definitely right for him, and the song was recorded by Garbage as well, and let’s face it Dan is total garbage so the song is even more apt.

Worker 1: Well we’ll have to see if Mr Middle accepts your advice anyway what do think would be appropriate for El Nutso.

Sabre: It all depends what he does in our match at the pay per view. If he wisely keeps out of my way and let’s me get down to the business of whipping Dan Downtown’s ass into the middle of next week and retaining my belt, then perhaps he’ll deserve a theme music based around his abilities to make the right decisions perhaps something like Smooth Operator by Sadé, but if acts like a dumbass and gets
involved he too will have to have theme music based around his lack of intelligence, because if he does get involved it’s pretty damn obvious that he’ll have made the worst decision of his life, as I’ll just have to kill him if he even contemplates trying to take my belt away from me. Anyway if he does choose to interfere in my plans you might as well change his theme music to Brain Dead by The Wildhearts, because after I get through with him, that’s probably the state he’ll be left in.

The door to the production truck opens again.

Brian Wilson: Hey fellas, can you put that song back on, it was first rate stuff.

At the moment Brian has only just entered the truck so he can’t see that Sabre and Magenta are in there. He gets a big shock when Sabre’s booming voice greets him.

Sabre: No they bloody can’t put that crap back on, because if they do I’ll send them both straight to hell.

Brian recovers from his initial shock and can now respond to Sabre.

Brian Wilson: But it was such a good song.

Sabre: No it wasn’t it was the biggest bag of shit ever.

Brian Wilson: Well I bet you’re match with Dan Downtown and El Nutso won’t be bad, because with three major talents like you three it’s bound to be great.

Sabre: More like it’s bound to be a one sided massacre, because by the time my match comes around El Nutso will have seen sense and will know to stay away from me, and that will leave me one on one with Downtown, And when it’s me and Dan one on one you will see another total annihilation when I give him a damn good thrashing just like the last time I faced him.

Brian Wilson: But Dan was drunk last time he faced you.

Sabre: As if, I bet he was as sober as a judge going into the match, he’s just trying to find a feeble excuse for the ass kicking I gave him.

Brian Wilson: But I’ve seen the evidence to suggest he was drunk.

Sabre: It’s probably all doctored, or it was really filmed after the match and made to look like it took place before our scrap. Anyway before my match with Dan, Magenta and I had been drinking quite a lot of champagne. You see normally I keep my champagne on ice during my matches just in case the unthinkable happens and I get cheated out of victory, but against Dan I was so confident of victory that I drank all my champagne before the match, naturally I wasn’t drunk or anything like that because it will take a lot more than a few glasses of champagne to do that to me, but never the less I had drunk a significant amount of alcohol before I got into the match with Dan and I still handed him the beating of his short miserable life. So therefore I think it’s a given that when we lock horns again on Monday that I’ll make mincemeat out of him and hold onto my belt. And when I’m done with him I’m going to get some of his awful poetry and tear it up into little pieces and place in it the nearest trash can because poetry as bad as his only belongs at the bottom of a very big rubbish bin.

Brian Wilson: Actually I kind of liked it, it was funny and it almost all rhymed. I’m not so sure about b###h is a perfect rhyme for cinch, but it’s pretty damn close.

Sabre: Brian you only liked it because you have no taste, if you want to read proper poetry look at the classic British Poets like Keats, Shelly or Wilfred Owen not some untalented drunken slob. Just face it Brian everything Dan does is just down right bad, his poetry is bad, his manners are bad and his wrestling is downright awful, as everyone will see when I take him to the cleaners at the pay per view and show everyone why I’m the King of Hardcore and the greatest ever Aggression champion. Now guys get out of my way, I’ve got better things to do than spend all my day talking to you, and when I’m gone you had better not put that music back on, because if you do there’s going to be trouble.

Sabre and Magenta now leave the truck, unsurprisingly as they go the music doesn’t get turned back on, the scene then fades to black.