As a twelve year-old kid, unwise to the ways of the world, being lost in the midst of the woods in one’s own backyard could leave even the strongest short of breath. There I was: each tree looking like the next, gray clouds, hanging in the sky, no food, summer clothes, and night swiftly approaching. My parents let me go out into the woods warning me not to go too far, but I’d made sure I stayed within earshot. Today, I ventured further than intended. To say I was scared, was an understatement.
Running wouldn’t do much good, I figured, so finding some shelter became priority one. Nothing looked promising, as the trees stood as tall as statues with very little low growth. It looked more and more hopeless as I trekked on, I knew I would have to stay put, otherwise I’d end up freezing. Sitting down under a study oak, I pulled my knees up to my chest, willing myself to stay warm. At that moment, I saw the wolf approaching.
I’d never known any animals to be in our woods, let alone something like a wolf. The only wolves I’d seen were in encyclopedias and posters. Gray and slightly shaggy, he approached with a cautious step, giving me a deep and penetrating stare. Had I been younger, I might have cried out, yet something in those intense yellow eyes, which gave me some small confidence. I hesitatingly put my hand out to the animal. His nose extended cautiously, sniffing, trying to ascertain whether I was friend or foe. Confidence eventually won out and he approached closer.
“Hi there,” I said aloud to the creature, my voice shaking a little. The wolf’s head rose a little at the words, giving me that stare again. The look suggested he might understand what I was saying. I said, my voice a little stronger, “I’m not going to hurt you.”
I will not harm you either, young pup. Though no sound came from his direction,
except the wind and the light rumblings of an approaching rainstorm, I heard a
voice speaking to me, but inside my head.
I stared at the wolf in disbelief, wondering if I wasn’t going
crazy. The wolf spoke again, a gentle,
calming voice, You have come far today,
young one. Farther than before.
“I know. I think I’m lost,” I replied, still speaking aloud.
Speak the words in your mind, young
pup. Your mind and mine are joined; you
can hear my thoughts as well as I can yours.
I didn’t understand what he was trying to tell me. My mind joined with a wolf? How could this be possible? Nothing about what was happening made sense to me. I wondered if I wasn’t experiencing hypothermia or something worse. I’d read about such things, but having a talking wolf before me wasn’t something they’d wrote in the books as a condition of hypothermia.
Are you going to eat me? I asked, in my mind.
No. I
heard you calling me; calling for help.
I came.
How is it that I can hear you?
We are joined, young pup, you and I. We are brothers. In time, you will learn of such things.
The wolf’s words resonated with some truth, despite being quite confusing. Though I didn’t understand what he meant. How could we be “brothers?” How could I have called him?
So many questions, young pup? Come with me to a safer place; let us both
get out of the coming storm. I will try
to explain, you are so young, but the strength of your need has called me at
last.
I got up and followed him. He led me to a den in the roots of a massive
fallen tree. Just by looking though the
hole to which he slid though, it was large enough for me to lie inside. I crawled in on his request, to which he
followed. Lying next to me, his fur warm
against my cold, wet skin, he said, Wolves
have always been linked to humans. The
Great Spirit commanded we live in harmony together. Humans did not listen; they trusted their
eyes, rather than their hearts. They saw
us as a danger. We have been
misperceived ever since. Yet, once in a
great while, a human learns to clear his mind and listen to his heart. You, young pup, have learned this. And it is though this you have called me to
protect you.
I’ve been in trouble before. How is it that you come to me now?
Your need now was greater than
before. Our bond is there, but it is
fragile. If you continue to call me, the
bond will strengthen.
From somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew his words rang with truth. I felt it as much as I believed it. Laying there on the dirt, next to this great animal, to which I did have great respect for, I felt safe and content. As did he I learned as time passed.
Do you have a name? I asked.
Wolves need only to know the Alpha Wolf, but
as humans feel the need to define things in such ways, you may give me one.
I thought for a moment, reaching out and stroking the wolf’s fur. I felt another wave of contentment. In my mind, I said, Fuzzy. A moment later, I feel into a deep sleep.
When I woke, the sun filtered though little cracks in the den’s walls. Fuzzy got up and crawled out with me following.
It is a good morning, he said, Come, your kind will be searching for you.
Sure enough, I heard shouts over the rustling of the leaves: calling my name, asking where I was. Fuzzy lead me to the outer edge of the woods, still back a distance from the search party.
I cannot come with you further, young pup.
He said, They will not understand what we share, they
will see me as a threat, but come to me as often as you can, my brother. Together we will build a bond that will one
day bring all people together.
I will, Fuzzy. Thank you.
You are welcome, young pup.
It was hard to leave him standing there, but I knew I would see him again. I made my way though the brush to where I was found not long afterward by my step-father. My mother, in near panic, wrapped me up, crying. I too, cried a little, but felt better than I might if I’d been alone.
Much time passed before I was able to go back to the woods alone and my parents set strict boundaries, but I found some small gaps in their plan to keep me at arm’s reach, which allowed me to call and spend time with Fuzzy. He’d been right, the bond we shared did grow stronger as time passed and I grew older.
I was not a well liked kid in school: frequently teased, picked on, left out, and had rumors spread about. People insisted on tormenting me about the things which made me different, including my desire to be individual and special. They couldn’t understand the desires I had about people being equal with each other and not persecuted for their uniqueness, what ever they happened to be. This source of torments continued as I went into high school, but the unusual aspects of my life also continued to follow me. Dismal as that was on the surface, I managed to maintain a little peace, with Fuzzy’s help.
One of things I thought I might never do is fall in love, but life has a way of interfering. Her name was Sarah deMarza, a shorter girl, but cute in a way. It was a wonderful relationship, plenty of fun and good times, but also quiet times when we just held each other, not saying much. I prayed to God, it would last, but not meant to be. She desired to go deeper into the relationship than I was willing, that is to say, to the level of sex. I was unwilling, because I was planning on college and wanted to have a good paying job before going to that level. I can still remember that night vividly. Cool, cloudless, with a bright moon and stars in the sky.
“I want this,” she said, “I’m ready for it. Why aren’t you?”
“Because, I’ve thought this out more than you,” I replied, “You want to get pregnant and have kids, but you haven’t thought about supporting them, have you?”
“We’ll support them.”
“Working in a Burger King and a grocery store? No way. We’re both going to need more education than that if we’re to support kids.”
“I’m not smart enough to go to college, not like you.”
“Yes, you are you just don’t think you are.”
“This is all I’ve ever wanted. You’ve known that from our first night together.”
“I know, and it’s been something I’ve regretted, even though nothing happened.”
“That’s just it, Mike, nothing happened. You know that this is what I’ve wanted.”
“And you know that I’m not ready for this until I have the tools I need to ensure that the child would be properly cared for.”
“You don’t know I’d get pregnant after the first time.”
“Knowing your desire like I do, yes you would. I’d be just my luck.”
“You’re so damn stubborn to see things from my perspective!”
“I am not! I have my principles and you refuse to understand that!”
“You’re scared!”
“Bullshit!”
“Don’t swear at me!”
My eyes fell away. This whole time, I’d looked her square in the eye. Now, the pain of it all was beginning to overwhelm me. I raised my head and said, in a quiet voice, “This isn’t working.”
“No shit, Sherlock!”
“Now who’s swearing?”
A look of anger flashed in her eyes. I almost thought she was going to hit me for a moment, but she didn’t.
“If we can’t find a common ground, which is what I’m trying to find here, then the relationship is broken.”
“You know damn well that I’ll never get over losing you.”
“You will in time.”
“No, I won’t!”
“I can’t do this if we can’t find some compromise!”
“I want to compromise.”
“Not if you’re unwilling to give a little.”
“You’re the one unwilling to give.”
“If that’s the way you feel about it, then there’s nothing more to be said,” I turned and said, “I’ll see you around.”
Getting into my car, I drove home, crying on my mother’s shoulder like a little child, but the pain of breaking up with someone I’d felt love for was driven home all the more hard when I saw her a week later. She walked across the concourse of school, deliberately past the table I sat at with my friends, in the arms of another man. I’d found out later, that she’d been seeing this guy behind my back for some time.
Instead of driving home, as I knew I probably should, I drove to a park my friends and I frequented. This park had much woodland and growth. I entered the woods and walked back until I was out of sight from where I’d left the car. The thought of murder came to mind, then the stronger thought of suicide, but in the end I went into the woods to find Fuzzy.
Fuzzy? Can you hear me? I asked. Fuzzy told me that he knew much of the woods around town, as he spent his days and nights exploring. As I grew older and was given more freedom as an eighteen year-old, I managed to sneak him around for drives and had a system for calling him without using the mind, just in case we happened to be caught. This night, I brought him down earlier in the afternoon after he expressed a desire to explore this wood. I knew he’d still be here.
Yes,
young pup. I am coming. He appeared, though it was harder for me
to see him than him to see me. I told
him everything. He listened patiently,
then said, I am sorry for you, my
brother, but this was not meant to be.
You have a path to follow, set before you and not of your choosing. You can shape the journey, but not determine
its direction. Wolves accept this, and
as we are joined, so must you.
That doesn’t make this any easier! I protested.
The
wound will heal, in time. I will help as
I am able. I sense, though, you will
find the strength you feel you lack now, and use that to help others.
And
when I need help?
You
have it now.
I dropped to my knees, falling onto the ground. Fuzzy walked up, sitting on his haunches before me. I embraced him; he set his chin on my shoulder, saying, Feel my strength, young pup. I sense this is but the first step on a new direction of our journey together. I know your heart. Indeed, it is broken, but it will mend in time, and you will begin to grow stronger.
A few months later, right after I graduated high school and began college in town, I also began to understand what Fuzzy meant.
I was again in the park where we met the night I broke up with Sarah deMarza, but this time I chose to be alone, not going into the woods. I sat at a picnic table, just doodling on a scratch pad, when someone said, in an audible voice, “You are Michael Slagenweit, are you not?”
I looked up to see a tall man, almost like a giant, towering above me. He was dressed in an army jacket, the sleeves rolled up, and camo-pants. The boots on his massive feet looked scuffed and worn, as if he’d walked across the country wearing them. Around his forehead, he wore a red bandana, soaked through with sweat from his coppery skin. A single braid of jet-black hair trailed down his back. He looked to be homeless, but I learned later, chose not to have a “home” as we knew it; the land was his home.
I hesitated a moment before I spoke, “Yes, I am. How did you know my name?”
“I have known about you for many years, known your name and known of your power.”
“How?” This stranger was as much an enigma to be as Fuzzy when he first appeared to me.
“First, let us go into the woods.”
Again, I hesitated. The stranger said, seeing it in those dark eyes of his, “I will not hurt you.”
He said this so calmly and gently, I felt somewhat reassured and led him into the woods, out of sight of passers by. When we got to a clearing, I turned to face him, as I’d led the way. For the first time, I noticed the pack he wore on his back, just as worn as his clothes. He set the pack on the ground and said to me, “Call him.”
“What?” I asked, more confused than ever. I never told anyone about Fuzzy or my connection to him. So it shocked me to know that this stranger knew of my ability. I continued, “How do you know about that?”
“I know many things which you do not. Now, please, call Wolf.”
Seeing the determined look in those eyes, I called, Fuzzy.
A moment later, Fuzzy appeared from the underbrush, I am here.
The stranger looked down at Fuzzy; he seemed to be taking him in. Fuzzy also scrutinized the stranger. The stranger said, “Most impressive. You have made a strong connection with Wolf.”
“How do you know about that?” I demanded, letting a little anger show through.
“Sit and I will explain.”
Without waiting for my response, he promptly sat cross-legged on the floor of the clearing. I sat down, Fuzzy coming to sit next to me. The man said, voice remaining calm, “I am Ty-Ohni. I am of the People of the Wolf.”
“You’re an Indian?”
“I think you mean ‘Native American’, don’t you? Though what term you use makes little difference to me. Yes, I am. My People are learned in the art of speaking with Wolf. It has been passed from one generation to the next. However, my people are fading into the mists of time. The knowledge is being lost. I myself have nearly lost my power.”
“How is it that I come to have it then? Why can I hear Fuzzy’s thoughts and he can hear mine?” I asked.
“I will explain, but allow me to
finish my story,” he did not seem miffed by my interruption, “I strayed from
the path Wolf set for my People. I went
to war for this country and nearly died for it.
You know of
“Yes.”
“A terrible testament to what can happen to man when he ignores his principles. It was there, walking amongst death, I heard Wolf calling me from a far. I was wounded in a battle, nearly dying, but I also entered the Dream Plain to battle with the Dark Demon. I would not have survived, had it not been for Wolf, whose Spirit came and gave me the abilities to aid me. I used these to drive back the Dark Demon, but he still waits for me.
“When I returned to this country, I was alone, my family gone, and my People scattered like sand in a storm. I returned to my ancestral grounds, which had survived the passage of time, thankfully. In a moment of deepest despair, Wolf came to me, in Spirit and Flesh this time. He spoke of the abilities inside me, assuring me there were others. He showed me Shaman Magic, the same Shaman Magic which helped me to drive back the Dark Demon. He told me to use my abilities for the betterment of man, so man would not destroy himself.”
I sat there, listening to this astonishing tale, wondering what it all meant. Ty-Ohni seemed sincere in the words he spoke, and it rang true with me. I’d discovered a power within myself in a moment of desperation, that same power connected me with Fuzzy. I glanced over at Fuzzy, who seemed to be as wrapped in this as I.
Ty-Ohni continued, “Wolf revealed to me others who shared our Power. I told you that my People are scattered though out the country, but there are a few Wolf chose who are not the blood of the People of the Wolf. This is how I came to find you. I will help you find the abilities within you. This connection between you and Wolf is but the first of many abilities I sense you possess. I offer to teach you in the Ways of Wolf and help your People before they disappear in the river of time.”
I closed my eyes a moment, taking this in. Up to this point, I figured I was the only one with the ability to speak to wolves, who had a wolf as a companion and friend. Now I discover another, older and wiser, and willing to teach me. Despite his rough appearance and the hardships he’d faced in his past, Ty-Ohni also seemed a gentle presence, calming and warm.
“Think over my offer. Do not answer now,” he said, “Let me prove to you the words I speak.”
“How?”
“In this place tonight, I will show you some of what you may accomplish if you accept my offer.”
“All right,” I replied. I couldn’t believe how quickly I agreed to this. I didn’t even know who this man was, let alone what he was going to do. Yet, knowing what he did about me and Fuzzy, suggested he knew much more than he’d revealed. Perhaps tonight he would share more. And I wanted to know more.
“Good. Be here after midnight. Wolf must come again as well.”
I am as intrigued as the young pup here, Fuzzy said, I wish to see what it is you speak of.
A moment passed while Ty-Ohni and Fuzzy
seemed to share something, but I couldn’t tell what it was. The mental link Ty-Ohni made with Fuzzy
seemed as strong, if not stronger than mine and Fuzzy’s was. When they finished, Fuzzy turned back to me
and said, It will be all right. You will discover much when you come tonight.
I hope so, I replied.
Despite all my trepidations, I came, just as he asked. Ty-Ohni had set up a ring of stones, in which a series of stones had been heated so they glowed orange in the moonless night. I could hear a faint sizzling or crackling from them and suspected from the aroma coming from them, that he must have sprinkled some herbs or grasses on them.
He sat before the ring, stripped down to the waist. He’d retied his braid with a blue and a red leather string from which hung a series of beads and feathers. He wore no paint, but around his neck was an intricate necklace of wolf teeth, or at least that’s what I assumed. A slight sheen glistened on his copper skin, a product of the heat coming from the coals, which I too could feel penetrating my clothing.
I called for Fuzzy, who appeared quickly, and sat across from Ty-Ohni. He said in his deep rumble, “Good evening, young one.”
“Good evening.”
“You are about to embark on a sacred journey. No matter what decision you make, the bond you have already forged with Wolf will not pass from you. Yet it will be up to you to determine in which way this path will unfold.”
“I understand.” Fuzzy had said the same thing to me once before, I learned that needed to trust it.
“Good,” he paused, “You will learn many things tonight, but this is only the first step. Time will tell you when you are ready to take another.”
He reached to a bundle next to him, which I hadn’t noticed before, and drew a pipe from it. Taking a branch with some dried leaves stuck on it, he lit them from the coals and then used it to light the contents of the pipe. He drew in several lungfuls of smoke, blowing them out in a steady stream. He passed the pipe to me and said, “We must smoke this to seal our bond, the bond of friendship.”
I drew in the smoke, a combination of grasses I assumed, nothing which was going to kill me, and exhaled, passing the pipe back to him. He took another draw, then set the pipe alongside the ring. He continued, “This night you will see Wolf’s Spirit. He will Dance. You may well Dance with him.”
“How can I tell?”
“Clear your mind of questions. Wolf will speak to you. Not to your ears, but to your heart, young one. When he speaks to your heart, and you truly listen, you will join his Dance.”
I sat up straight and closed my eyes, breathing in long and deep breaths, filling my lungs with the pungent aroma of the herbs burning on the hot coals before us. I listened to the sounds of the night about us, sporadic and quiet. Presently, as the time passed Ty-Ohni began to chant, the words unrecognizable to my ears, but with a strange quality to them. It made me feel even more at peace than I already felt. I could hear drums in the distance, or at least I thought I did, as it might have been the beating of my own heart.
The heat continued to envelop us. I felt my clothes soak more and more with sweat until I pulled my shirt off as Ty-Ohni had. At that moment, when I’d opened my eyes, I saw before me, Ty-Ohni dancing and Fuzzy danced with him, though Fuzzy was no longer in the shape of a four-legged animal, but a two-legged man.
They beckoned me to join them as they weaved about the contained coals. The dance was fluid, like a twig making intricate patterns in the surface of water. Wolves howled about us and the drumbeat was louder than ever. I found myself rising to my feet and joining them, growing closer to Fuzzy.
You’ve
joined us, my brother, Fuzzy said, Good. Dance!
Dance my brother, and together we will learn what paths we are meant to
travel!
The surroundings about us blurred and intermixed as we moved to the beat of the drums, which rose and faded with uneven cadences. As we danced, images flashed before us: places, people, another time entirely.
I saw myself, perhaps a little
older in age, with a few other people I didn’t know at some sort of
ceremony. Another showed me in some sort
of cave or underground, building objects which I couldn’t tell what they were before
things changed again. This time, I saw
myself in some kind of mask and costume, battling a hoard of thugs with a group
of similarly costumed people. Fuzzy, as
an animal, fought with us. The scene
shifted once more to me, before a harvest moon, with another man, not much
older. Together, in similar costumes,
but masks removed, howling as wolves at the moon in the sky. It was here that the vision ended and I found
myself lying on my back, Fuzzy licking my face, saying, Are you all right, young pup?
I’m okay, I replied, sitting up, and aloud to Ty-Ohni, “What was that?”
“You danced with Wolf and the Spirit of Wolf came upon you. Did Wolf grant you a vision?”
“Yes.” I told him of what I’d seen, though not understanding it.
“Wolf has shown you of the abilities within yourself.”
“I thought I saw the future?”
“Indeed, you may well have seen some of the road you will travel, but the future is not something which is written in stone. Indeed you have many abilities, a blessing by Wolf. Unfortunately, many remain locked inside you. Together, we will unlock them.”
My eyes fell to the stones still glowing faintly in the ring before us, but I didn’t have time to think long before Ty-Ohni said, “Do not hesitate, young one, as I have the ability to read your mind and sense your emotions. I discovered your abilities as we danced with Wolf.”
“You keep saying ‘ability’; don’t you mean ‘power’?”
“To use the word ‘power’ implies we can control or manipulate a person weaker than ourselves. We cannot. This is why I use the word ‘ability’. We can use them to the betterment of our People.”
“That is the path I am meant to walk,” I said, certainty rising in my voice. For the first time in my life, I knew something to be right and true. I continued, “Fuzzy and I are to work together, building a force against injustice and oppression, creating a community to build society to an equality that can’t stand on its own right now.”
From that point on, Ty-Ohni, much like Fuzzy had, became my mentor. While I learned theories in my college classes from professors, Ty taught me about life: the world around me, as well as the life inside me. In these lessons, I began to learn to quiet my mind, listening for the voice of the spirit within—the spirit which attuned itself to my surroundings—alerting me to changes about me. One might call it sharpening of the instincts. This ability grew rather rapidly, while my ability to hear the thoughts of others, surprisingly to Ty, progressed so slowly that one might say it wasn’t progressing at all.
Through it all, I felt more and more at peace, knowing what I would soon do with my abilities. Around this time, I’d started to develop an interest in developing improvements in technologies and developing a knack for business. I found friends on campus as willing as I to take risks with a new project which frequently paid off for us, giving local companies an edge over others. Our only insistence was that they share the rewards with us and give us the due credit. Benjamin Cartwright was a leading businessman in town, who hired me as a gofer, but also accepted many of my ideas.
The growth of mind, body, and spirit—from Ty’s lessons, classroom learning, working for Mr. Cartwright, and my own resurgent faith—began to make me believe in the potential of a new humanity, in which people like me, in some way different, could find acceptance in the world, no matter our differences.
Despite all of this change in my life, a spot in my heart remained empty. That spot reserved for the love of another. I’d dated again after the disaster with Sarah deMarza; I’d even felt love again. Amberlynn Laetrell was a beautiful girl, deeply spiritual like me, meeting in my senior and her junior year of college. We found ourselves frequently just holding each other watching the hours pass, or talking over dreams of what the future might hold for us. Unfortunately, the future brought something which neither of us expected.
It was a warm Saturday night, Amberlynn and I had gone out for dinner and a play. Even thought it was usually the night I had a lesson with Ty-Ohni, he graciously agreed to let me out of it, as I hadn’t seen Amberlynn in several days. He’d said, “A man must have balance to his Spirit. She is a good match for you. You go.”
We walked downtown, passing down
onto
They snickered at me and the guy at the front of the clutch sneered, “The usual: cash, jewelry, credit cards, and cell phones.”
“Well you’ve got the wrong people. We haven’t got any cash on us, so beat it.”
“Bullshit. And your girlfriend’s pretty hot too, so just hand it over and nothing will happen.”
Amberlynn whispered in my ear, urging me to just give them what they wanted. She dropped her purse at their feet and took off the emerald ring she wore, a present from her grandmother. I hesitated more, but when a couple of the creeps drew metal bars from their pockets and began to whack them in their leather gloved hands, I pulled out my wallet and held it before me.
“Come on, come on, just hand it over,” the leader urged.
I dropped my wallet, kind of haphazardly next to Amberlynn’s purse. The goon leader bent down to pick up the pile of loot; just as he stooped his head to grab it, I reared back and put a swift kick into his chin. The force of it sent him flying onto his back, his head hitting the sidewalk with a loud thunk, to which his buddies with the bars came at us.
I pushed Amberlynn back against the wall of the nearest building, raising my fists like I’d seen in the movies, praying that the fight wouldn’t last long as I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I needed to protect Amberlynn, who’d begun to cry in terror, begging me to run for it. I put one of my fists in the face of the closer of the two approaching thugs—didn’t faze him much—but gave me the opportunity to throw a couple of punches at the other guy.
All in all, my blows didn’t count for much, as these guys were much bigger than me and quicker. The two thugs with the bars whacked me a couple of times with them, but it was the guy who’d been watching this whole thing that I quickly realized was the one I should’ve gone after, when he pulled a gun out of his pocket. He said, “All right that’s enough!”
The two thugs quit pounding on me. I felt like a sack of old potatoes, thrown and beaten about. The guy with the gun continued, “Get the shit and let’s go!”
I felt one last heavy blow to my gut and I dropped to my knees. They walked over to the purse, wallet, and ring lying on the ground and grabbed them up. Unfortunately, seeing me in the state I was in, changed Amberlynn’s mind about passively handing over what little valuable we were carrying. She dashed over to the thug who’d scooped up her ring and began to struggle around with him. Feeling a new resolve, I dashed over and got into the fray until a sudden, piercing sound broke the scuffle: a gunshot.
For what felt like an eternity, but was only a matter of moments, I saw Amberlynn dropping to the ground. I’d forgotten everything, our property, the ring, even the thugs as she went down, a growing red stain on her side. She hit the pavement and I once more dropped to my knees cradling her head as the remaining thugs broke into a run, leaving the one I’d take out unconscious on the pavement.
Tears ran down my cheeks as I said, between gasps for breath, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Frantically, I remembered that I still had my cell phone in my pocket, the one thing I’d forgotten all night. I flipped it open dialed and screamed, “I need a goddamn ambulance! My girlfriend’s been shot! I need some help!”
Despite the fact I should’ve remained on the scene, giving a report to the police, I insisted on riding to the hospital with Amberlynn. Something just kept telling me that this was my place, beside her. Though I couldn’t do anything and ended up just sitting sequestered in a corner while the paramedics worked on her, I just had to be there, praying to God that she would be okay.
The night went on forever. I wasn’t allowed to go into the operating room with her on arrival and I stubbornly—probably stupidly—refused treatment until I was allowed to see her. Instead I paced up and down the corridor outside the ER doors, seething. The nurses, seeing my agitation and a little frightened of it, let me alone. It wasn’t until a tall man with a hint of gray in his hair and a deep, booming voice said, “You look pretty bad, son.”
“This is all my fucking fault,” I replied, angrily, “I should’ve just given it to them, but… It wasn’t right, we didn’t have that much money between us, and they had no right to take it… I should’ve…”
“It’s not your fault, son,” the man said, “You’re a lot braver than a lot of kids your age. Why don’t we go and get some coffee?”
“I’m not leaving her.”
“You need to, she’s in capable hands. You standing out here, pacing around, ready to punch somebody, isn’t going to help her.”
He placed his hand on my shoulder and led me toward the cafeteria. As we passed the nurses’ station, one of them handed the man a blanket, which he handed to me. Not sure why, I wrapped it around my shoulders and we walked on, taking a table in the hospital’s cafeteria. Apparently he’d anticipated he could get me to come, as a pot of coffee waited for us, with cups.
I wasn’t much of a coffee drinker then as now, but the caffeine was just what the doctor ordered, I thought. The man sat across from me, placing an ID case before me. He said, “I’m Lieutenant Karl Solak. I’m with the police department.”
“Mike Slagenweit,” I replied.
“Nice to know you, Mike.”
“Same, Mr. Solak. I suppose you probably think I’m an idiot for what I did back there.”
“On the contrary. As I said, you’re braver than another young man might have been in the same situation, but I need your to tell me what happened. This way we can catch the guys who did this to you and the young lady.”
I told the story and in the end Lieutenant Solak was satisfied that I had acted in the best interests of Amberlynn and myself. He talked me into getting fixed up and calling my parents to let them know what happened. Mom insisted that I come home right away, to which I agreed to, but only after I knew Amberlynn was going to be all right.
She came out of the operating room stable, but sedated. As nothing more could be done until she woke, Lieutenant Solak took me to my parent’s house. There, I told the story over again, my mother crying but controlling it. In the end, I went up to my room, now used as a guest room as I’d moved into my own apartment, but still with a few of my things in it. Dawn was breaking on the horizon, but sleep wasn’t on my mind. I sat down on the bed and called in my mind, Fuzzy, where are you? I need you.
I am below the window. Come and look.
I went to the window and saw the
gray furred face of Fuzzy waiting there for me.
His yellow eyes stared right into mine, somewhat cold; he said, I sensed your fear and anger, but you didn’t
call for me. I would have come. We could have taken those beasts together,
young pup.
It
never even occurred to me, Fuzzy. And
I’m sorry. But that’s not why I need you
now.
What
is it?
I
need you to go get Ty-Ohni. I don’t know
where he lives or where to find him when we’re away. You must know. Find him; tell him to meet me in the park,
tomorrow, after dark. I may have to
sneak out of here, so it may take me a bit to get there, but it’s important.
I
will find him. Fuzzy bounded off
into the woods, and I lay down on the bed, finally allowing sleep to overcome
my exhausted body.
It wasn’t easy to persuade my mother to let me go out after that night, but seeing my determination she let me go, but made me swear that I would be back an hour after dark. She wouldn’t hear of me going back to my apartment for at least the next two days. I agreed, somewhat reluctantly, and my mother insisted on checking my cell to make sure it worked, doubly insisting that I use the thing. I agreed and got into my car, which my step-father had picked up for me.
First thing, I drove to the hospital, getting permission from Amberlynn’s parents, who’d drove in to town to be with their daughter, to be alone with her for a moment. When I was certain about not being watched, I took her hand in mine, gazing down into her sleeping face, and said, “I swear to God himself, I will use all my abilities, the abilities he gave to me, and make the people who did this to you pay for what they did. I will bring you this justice, as no one else can make it happen.”
I bent down and kissed her hand, placing it back on her chest. Then I headed for the park and Ty-Ohni. He waited for us in our usual spot, secluded from prying eyes. I sat before him and said, “I need your help.”
“That much is certain.”
“The men who did this must pay for what they did. They have caused an injustice against someone who could not stand against them and now she is paying the price for it. I am going to make sure it doesn’t happen again, ever. Help me use what I have.”
Ty stared at me, levelly, his gaze penetrating deep into my soul, I thought. He replied, his voice flat and uninflected, “You seek to protect the innocent from the cruelty of the world?”
“I seek a world where men do not prey on their fellow men. Where children don’t have to resort to a gun to have their needs met. Where people stop looking at the color of skin, or the beliefs they hold, or who they are, and see that we are all one people; where those who stand low are raised with those who stand high.”
“These are noble goals, young one, not easily achieved and with hardship. There will be violence on both sides of the war.”
“There is a logical use for violence, if it is in one’s defense.”
“True.” Ty held his hands before him, making a pyramid of his fingers, peering though the hole. He continued, “Yes, I can see the spirit about you, more clearly now than before; a strong conviction drives you.”
“Will you help me?”
“I will. But you must first learn what it is you will face, I cannot interfere with that.”
“Tell me.”
“Become one with the dark that your enemies hide in. Listen for their voice. Use their weapons against them, but taking life is not permitted. You are in service to those who cannot defend themselves. And beware of revenge, young one. Revenge may lead you down paths for which you cannot turn back.”
“I understand.”
“We will be ready when you call for us, but remember that this path is for you to discover.”
Take
care, young pup, my brother.
I
will. And I will call.
I left the park and returned back home, keeping my word to my parents. Though if they had the ability which Ty had to read my thoughts, they would have tied me up and locked me in the basement.
After I was certain that my parents were asleep, I rose from bed and went to the closet where I still had a few pieces of my clothing stored. I pulled out a black dress shirt and black pants, finding the darkest pieces I owned, which would allow me to blend in with the darkness outside. Sneaking down to the basement, I opened the closet where we stored winter clothing and found a pair of black leather gloves and a ski mask. My old steel-toe boots sat nearby. Slipping the boots on, and stuffing the mask and gloves in my pocket, I snuck back upstairs and out into the garage where I looked around for equipment.
My step-father was an avid hunter, but a gun was not my style. Instead I took a tool belt off the rack and chose an assortment of equipment: a length of rope, a leatherman tool, and for some reason a length of dowel rod. Slipping back outside, I got into my car and drove into town, parking in an alley near the place where I’d been attacked the previous evening.
The night was particularly dark, a cloud covering what little moon there was. I killed the lights in my car. Looking in the rear-view mirror, I slipped the ski mask over my face. Not very scary I thought, but hell, this was my first time being a superhero. I put on the gloves and fastened the tool belt about my waist. Locking the car behind me, I made my way to the gang’s alley.
Peeking around the corner, they were no where in sight, but distantly I heard the thumping rhythm of heavy metal. It was coming through a basement window. Yes, I thought, “the sounds of their voice” as Ty put it, the voice of the dark. I slipped into the alley and snuck over to the window. Sure enough, I discovered, this was the gang’s lair: an oil barrel full of garbage lit on fire providing some illumination, along with all the light bulbs being replaced with black lights. Graffiti paint covered the walls, some of it reflecting the black light. A boom-box sat on a table in the corner, the source of the racket. Here plainly audible, I figured it had to be deafening inside. Whatever nice place this had once been, it wasn’t anymore.
I wondered how I might slip in and
surprise these goons, catch them off-guard, then I remembered. I cleared my mind, Fuzzy, can you hear me?
Yes,
young pup, I have been following you. I
am coming.
Not more than a moment later, Fuzzy
sprinted up to me, panting a little bit.
I gave him a moment’s rest before telling him my plan: I want you to break through this window and
distract them while I slip in. Once I’m
in we’ll take them.
Do
you honestly believe it will be that simple?
No,
but it will make me feel better.
Very
well.
Fuzzy stepped back a bit and then ran head-long into the window, the old glass shattering on impact. I saw the thugs reel around in surprise when they heard the window break, wondering what caused it. Their heads swished back and forth trying to find the source, but saw nothing. One of the goons turned the stereo down, and from a patch of darkness I heard a low, guttural growling. One of the thugs approached it and Fuzzy, teeth bared sprang from the dark, sending the thug to his back, gripping his shirt with his canines, pulling and tearing at it. The others tried to grab him and pull him off, but Fuzzy’s claws were sunk into the thug’s chest and their attempts were met by teeth and deeper growling.
I’d gotten my distraction. I slipped in through the window and said to Fuzzy, I’m in, let them see me.
Fuzzy’s attack abated a little bit and one of the thugs turned round. He saw me, standing there, the dowel staff held before me, ready for attack. A grin cracked on his face, and he said, “What the hell is this? Halloween?”
“No,” I replied, voice dark and grave, “I’m the wolf, and your nightmare.”
He lunged at me, still with a smirk
on his face. Finding a strength I hadn’t
possessed last night, I whipped the dowel staff at his knees, knocking him
aside with the force of the blow. He
stumbled but promptly turned round to try again despite the limp he now had. I pivoted, ready, and put the end of the rod
in his gut. He doubled back and I
whipped the end under his chin, sending him flying into the wall. He smashed into it and sagged to the floor. The other goons who’d watched, were
dumbstruck, but not for long. Another
made a lunge at me, to which I was better prepared for; while at the same time
saying to Fuzzy, Get them! He understood, and attacked with equal
the ferocity of my own attack.
Unfortunately, though we managed to put three of the thugs on the ground and out of commission, the one who I wanted to take down managed to get out of the same window I came in. I scrambled out after him to the sudden flash of a bike’s headlights and the revving of its engine. I barely had time to get out of the way before he zoomed out of the alley. I helped Fuzzy out of the basement room and found one of the other thugs’ bikes, a key in the ignition fortunately.
Despite the fact I’d never ridden a motorcycle before; I learned pretty quickly and tore after him; Fuzzy running as fast as he could behind me. It didn’t take long for me to catch up, as he hadn’t expected me to be able to. He’d drawn the gun he’d used to shoot Amberlynn the night before and tried to aim it at me, his shot missing by a mile as I managed to evade it and send the side of my bike into his. He careened, barely maintaining control, and I took advantage of his distraction to do it again, succeeding this time in sending him spinning out of control. The bike smashed into the curb, sending its rider tumbling to the pavement. I slowed, jumping off the bike, as he got to his feet and ran into the nearest alley. Just like a roach, I thought, scurrying for the dark.
I gave chase and found him stopped dead in his tracks. Before him, at the opposite end of the alley, stood Ty-Ohni, surrounded by a red aura and holding a sword in his hand. Fuzzy bounded up to me, panting. I entered the alley. Ty said, his voice booming, “This is your battle now.”
He tossed the sword my way, which I caught and looked at. A Japanese katana. Where had he gotten this, I wondered, but had no time to ponder much as my foe evidently recovered himself and turned to face me. We circled each other for a moment, assessing the other’s fears and weaknesses. Though my mind raced with the possibilities, I willed it to show no fear.
Feel my strength, young pup, Fuzzy said,
Combine it with the strength you have
already shown this night! Drive back the
forces of darkness!
Yes!
For Amberlynn, I thought, For
those who can’t defend themselves.
Interestingly, I slipped the katana in to the belt. He swung his fist at me, which I dodged, placing a couple of quick jabs into the side of his gut. I spun round and he pivoted, swinging again. Again, I dodged, this time only putting a heavy blow to his face. He stumbled on a piece of the litter on the ground. He looked back at me, venom in his eyes, but my expression remained stolid. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a length of reinforcement rod, grabbed it, raising it like a sword. I pulled the katana from my belt and held it before me.
He swung and I deflected the blow, the sound of metal clanging against metal ringing through the still night. He was inexperienced in swordplay, I discovered, and while I was an amateur, I was still better at it than him. He tried over and over again to smash the bar against my head or my chest, but I defended myself with speed and precision. A well placed hit and I knocked the bar from his hands. He tried to run again, but Fuzzy blocked his path, teeth bared and growling. No escape. He turned back to face me, and said in a weak croak, hands raised above his head, “I give. You win.”
I lowered the katana, pulling the length of rope off my belt with my free hand. Just as I looked back at him, he swiftly pulled his gun, which I’d though lost in the scuffle on the bikes, and fired at me. The shot tore into my shoulder and I fell back, blood spurting from the fresh wound. Fuzzy dashed forward, landing on his back, claws digging into his skin. He fell to his face, dropping the gun, which went skittering into the dark. I regained myself, momentarily, as the pain lanced through me. Stepping forward, he looked up and I held the point of my blade against his forehead. I grated, half breath, half growl, “The only reason I won’t kill you is because I have made an oath to bring justice to those who justice has ignored. You will see the fate you deserve. Warn your friends when you see them. Tell them that if they ever try to harm someone again, Sabrewolf will be after them.”
To this day, I’m not sure if it was my words, or the strange light in my eyes, reflecting my conviction, which made him finally give up. Never the less he did give up, face sagging to the pavement. I too felt weakened, dropping. Ty walked up to me, his aura fading, and he put his hand on my shoulder, careful of the wound. He said, “You have done well this night. Rest, while I make a display of this cretin.”
Ty took the rope, tying the thug up, leaving enough extra to tie him to a lamp post in the next block. After taking a moment to recover myself, I took a slip of scrap paper from the litter in the alley and found a pen in the tool belt. Scrawling a note for the cops, I pinned the note to the man’s leather jacket with one of the many safety pins he’d used on the coat. With my mission accomplished the three of us made for the car, only making a momentary stop to ensure that the other members of the gang were secured for when they too were found by the police.
Ty drove while I slumped in the seat beside him, Fuzzy in the back. When we were back in the park, he helped me out and back to our place in the woods. I pulled off the ski mask, feeling the sweat on my face for the first time. Ty lit the brush in the fire ring. He then opened my shirt, inspecting the gunshot wound. The damage assessed he began to chant softly, placing his palms on the wound. I looked into his face as he worked and saw his aura once again, a light blue this time. Little by little, the pain faded, and when Ty pulled his hands away, I saw the wound had healed.
“Thank you,” I said.
“No thanks are necessary. This is the Code of the Pack: you look out for those who belong to your pack.”
“Ty, I brought justice to Amberlynn tonight, is it possible to do it again?”
“Indeed it is, young one, but your enemies will be better prepared for you in the future. If you are to continue this quest, you will have to find new resources, ensure a place of safety, protect yourself as well as others so that none discover you, and find allies who follow the same star as you.”
“In other words, the pack must grow if it is to survive.”
“Yes.”
“That may be difficult.”
“You will find a way, Sabrewolf, if you believe in what you stand for. You will find a way.”
The next morning, I went to visit Amberlynn at the hospital. Halfway to her room, I saw morning edition of The Graphic sitting on a table in a waiting room. I stepped in, picked it up and read the headline:
Vigilante Brings Down Gold Mine Gang
Lieutenant Karl Solak, lead investigator of the Bluffhaven Police
Department confirmed this morning that Clayton Rucker had been arrested this
morning for assault and
robbery. Rucker was the leader
of the gang that had attacked college students Michael Slagenweit and Amberlynn
Laetrell, shooting Miss Laetrell.
Lieutenant Solak also confirmed that the gang leader had not been
apprehended by police, but by a vigilante or vigilante organization. Police have released the name the culprit
left them with: Sabrewolf.
Continued page A-4.
I smiled a little bit, set the paper down and walked on to Amberlynn’s room.
She was awake and smiled rather weakly when I walked into the room. We chatted a bit and I apologized for the disastrous date which had put her here. She told me it was okay, but the look in her eyes, said a volume of something else. When I turned to leave, her father walked out with me. He said to me, “Amberlynn’s decided to move back home as soon as she can.”
“What?” I turned, staring.
“We can’t allow this to happen to her again. It’s nothing to do with you, Mike. You’re a good man, but this city is not the place for her.”
“But…” I wanted to find something, anything, which would make him change his mind. I knew that Amberlynn hadn’t decided this, her parents had and she’d gone along with it. I tried to find the words, but they didn’t come. Eventually, I just said, “Okay. I understand.” To this day, I still love her despite living apart, but with that kind of love which deep friends have for each other.
Losing Amberlynn had been just as hard as losing Sarah. My mind wandered into thoughts of wonder if I might ever love again, but somehow it was different this time. Now it didn’t hurt so bad, when I remembered that if I was to carry on a dual identity, love in my life might hinder that. A small bit of consolation, I thought. In the mean time there was still work to be done.