MJ: (motions for quiet) OK, people, this karaoke thing isn’t working. So, guess what? We’re scrapping it! Everybody back onto the bus. (The cast moans and groans, but starts moving in the direction of the bus, which magically expands to accommodate everyone.)
Soujirou: (standing beside bar; holds up a cat by the tail) But I was gonna make smoothies! (Collective groan. The cat, which happens to belong to MJ, growls at Soujirou, latches onto his arm, and proceeds to do a pretty good impression of a meat shredder before escaping into the crowd.)
WW: Whoa . . . .
Soujirou: (gives chase, holding his bleeding arm) Prepare to die, mangy feline!
MJ: Oi, Booie-neko-chan isn’t mangy!
Kouga: Dude, MJ, that cat’s almost as rotten as you! But it ain’t half as ugly! (Laughs.)
MJ: -.-*** Teme . . . . (A rock suddenly goes flying through the air and connects with the side of Kouga’s head.)
Kouga: Oro . . . . (eyes cross; falls over)
Kenshin: -.-* He stole my catch phrase, de gozaru na.
MJ: *to the unconscious Kouga* Let this be a lesson to you. Just because you don’t have the rosary doesn’t mean I can’t trash your sorry butt.
Shippou: (peers at Kouga) I don’t think he can hear you.
MJ: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
Kenshin: *to Chan, who has just walked in* There is something seriously wrong with that girl, de gozaru yo.
Chan: Yup. (Notices who just spoke to her.) Oh my . . . . *sharp toothy grin*
Kenshin: Oro?!
Chan: KENSHIN!!!!!!!! (Glomps the rurouni.)
Kenshin: *decidedly smushed* Orororororoooo . . . . yoush, onegai . . . Chan-dono . . . sessha’s ribs . . . can’t take this . . . (Chan releases him. He slumps to the floor, trying to catch his breath.) Oroooo . . . .
Trin: That was freaky . . . .
Chan: *happy pastel-y bubbles* Ah, bliss!
IY: VERY freaky.
(Suddenly, there is a loud rumbling sound. A piercing blue glow shot with crackles of crimson and silver lightning emanates from the palm of Miroku’s cursed hand. Every backs up several steps, as if that would help.)
Miroku: *shock; scared* What the . . . .
Neko: Oh no! It’s the curse of the Air Rip Wound! Quick! Somebody find Naraku and bash him over the head with a large blunt object!
K-Chan: Now, wait just a minute . . . .
Tasuki: Look at THAT!
(A large crack appears in midair. The glow and the lightning start to coalesce around it. The crack evolves into a tear. White threads of energy snap, crackle, and pop between the edges. A form begins to show itself inside the void. Just as the form is on the verge of becoming recognizable, everyone is blinded by a flash of light.)
(After the light fades and a considerable commotion has died down, the air is still again.)
K-Chan: What . . . the hell . . . was that?
WW: Ya got me.
Miroku: (stares at his cursed hand in shock) That was . . . different. (Group glare.)
IY: *with more sarcasm than is humanly possible* No. Really? D’you THINK?
Tani: Only when he has to . . . .
Neko: Oh, lay off, you guys! How would you feel if . . . YIPE! (A hand reaches out of thin air about three inches in front of her nose. Neko does the fastest backward hop you’ve ever seen.)
MJ: NOW what? Haven’t we had enough material in this episode to make Chris Carter drool?
Fluffy: Apparently not. (Neko and Rin hide behind Fluffy.)
(The disembodied hand is followed by an arm, then a shoulder. A foot steps out, wearing a familiar-looking shoe.)
Nuriko: Hold the phone, I’d know those shoes anywhere! (The air surrounding the arm and foot begins to ripple like water.)
Neko: *from behind Fluffy* Hey, you’re right! But . . . it couldn’t be . . . . (Kneads the edge of the kasa with her fingertips.) . . . could it?
(Suddenly with a loud *POP* a person falls from the rippling air onto the floor.)
(Traveller’s POV: The floor comes into focus, then the view swings up to take in a ring of startled and astonished faces. The mystery visitor climbs to his feet.)
(Back to audience view.)
Chichiri: Boy, interdimensional travel is a BITCH, no da! (Several seconds of stunned silence.)
Neko: *wildly ecstatic* CHICHIRI!!! (She throws her arms around him, practically knocking the poor guy off his feet. Everyone starts talking at once.)
Miroku: That’s impossible! No one’s ever returned from the void! [AN: I know that, but I couldn’t let the rest of the series go without, now could I? ^__^ ]
MJ: (jabbers in Spanish) ¡Fue imposible! ¡Vaca segrada!
Trin: Dude, that was awesome!
Tash: *to MJ* Is that who I think it is?
MJ: *stuck in Spanish* Sí, amiga. Este chico se llama . . . (Smacks self upside the head.) Yes, Tash, it is. That’s Chichiri.
Tash: *in awe* The High Priest of the No Da?
MJ: The same.
Tash: *big sparkly eyes* Wow . . . .
Saja: Hooray for monks! (All monks present grin proudly.)
Tasuki: Un-f**kin’-believable!
Sano: Chichiri! You’re back!
Chichiri: Ohayou, Sano . . . er, XJo-Chan. Still stuck inside a street fighter’s body, no da?
Sano: Yes indeedy!
K-Chan: *aside to Chichiri* And enjoying it WAY too much, one might add.
Neko: (finally releases Chichiri) I’m so glad you’re back! (Big smiles, more hugs.) I missed you.
Chichiri: I missed you, too, no da.
Neko: And look! (Removes kasa, which was hanging around her neck.) I kept this safe for you.
Chichiri: *touched* Arigatou, Neko-chan.
Neko: (drops kasa in surprise) "Neko-CHAN?"
Chichiri: (removes mask, smiles) Hai, no da.
(Just as the moment is on the verge of becoming extraordinarily mushy, the kasa on the floor jumps. This elicits a few surprised exclamations from the crowd.)
WW: Whoa! What the . . . . ? (Three tiny furry claws appear under the brim of the kasa and lift it to reveal . . . . . )
Chan: (hollers) KIBBY!
(Yes, indeed, It’s Kibby. And the time spent on Mt. Taikyouku has had some . . . interesting effects. Kibby now wears a white tunic and pants, black moccasins with crossed laces, a green bamboo-patterned kesa, and his very own kasa. He’s a monk!)
Kibby: (waves) Kon’nichi wa, minna-san! I’m back!
Chan: O.o Yes, we can see that . . . .
Jukai: LOVE the new ensemble!
Nyan-Nyan: Astounding. I’ve lived on Mt. Taikyouku my whole life and it hasn’t had any strange effects on me.
Fluffy: *under his breath* Although there are those who would argue . . . .
Kibby: Well, it didn’t improve your hairstyling skills very much. I’m never letting you get within ten feet of me with a brush and comb ever again!
Sano: But . . . Nyan-Nyan’s been back for two whole episodes . . . .
Kibby: Yeah, but before she left, she did THIS! (Removes kasa and points to the sky-blue mohawk brazenly defying the laws of gravity and kasa-hair between his fuzzy little ears. There is a dead silence for a moment. Then, a few scattered snickers, and finally . . . . )
All: BWAHAHAHAHAHAA! ( . . . . everyone cracks up.)
Kibby: (stands with arms crossed, looking very grouchy) Hidee-na. [You’re mean.]
Chan: (giggling helplessly) But, Kibby, you’re so CUTE!
Chichiri: (looks at Kibby) -.- Iya. (Pulls an electric hair cutter out of thin air, grabs Kibby, and shaves off the mohawk.) The blue mohawk is MY signature hairstyle, no da.
Kibby: (brushes head off) Arigatou gozaimasu, Chichiri-sama. (Shakes ears vigorously.)
Chichiri: Dou itashimashite, nan no da. (Miroku tries to disappear as inconspicuously as possible. Without looking, Chichiri points at him.) That’s far enough, Miroku. We have a score to settle, you and I. (Walks over, stares the other monk square in the eye for a minute, then backs off.) But we can do that later. (Miroku lets out a sigh of relief. Chichiri grabs his collar as he starts to walk away.) But until then . . . sleep with one eye open. (Smiles dangerously.)
Miroku: O.o; Ano . . . . *gulp*
(There is a sudden commotion at the front of the bus, a rattley-banging noise and voices squabbling in Gremlin and Japanese.)
K-Chan: What the bloody hell . . . ? (General confusion amongst the cast members.)
Trin: Sounds like the gremlins are hungry again.
Genki: *melodramatically* For human flesh!
Trin: Oh, get real.
Hannibal: Humans. The other white meat. (Smiles slightly. Everyone backs away from the good doctor.)
Tani: *under her breath* Don’t look him in the eye. He might charge.
Hannibal: Nonsense, my dear. I prefer, whenever possible, to eat the rude . . . the free-range rude. You, and most of your compatriots, most certainly do not qualify.
MJ: Kouga, you’d better start running!
Kouga: *just regaining consciousness* Huh? What?
Hannibal: (grins at Kouga) Fava beans and a nice chianti, I think. (Does his trademark slurping noise.) [AN: Forgive me, just watched "Silence of the Lambs."]
Kouga: O.O;;; KYAAAAAAAAAH! (Leaps to his feet and practically flies back onto the bus. This serves to alleviate some of the tension and finally, everyone can laugh. Kouga glares at them from a window, swearing colorfully.)
Sano: (applauds) Good show, Doctor. Vastly entertaining. Jolly good fun! (Hannibal smiles and inclines his head a fraction.)
MJ: Shall we to the bus? (The rattley-banging noise continues.)
Jesse: Let’s shall!
(Everyone troops around to the front of the bus. Nuriko stands on the bumper and opens the hood. He hesitates and gets very strange look on his face.)
IY: What? What is it? (Nuriko gestures mutely. IY hops up onto the bumper, takes a look . . . and promptly falls off the bumper laughing hysterically.)
MJ: OK, this has gone far enough. Hate na. [Let me see.] (Steps over a giggling IY and climbs up onto the bumper.) Oh . . . my . . . .
(Unbeknownst to everyone else, Jaken has arrived and has somehow managed to get into the engine. However, the gremlins already residing therein do not take kindly to intruders, and have forced the slimy toad demon onto a hamster wheel of his very own. Jaken, of course, is not particularly happy about this, but everyone else finds it vastly amusing.)
Jaken: (panting, running on the wheel) Onegai, Sesshoumaru-sama, tasukete! (Fluffy, hearing his name, also climbs up onto the bumper.)
Fluffy: O.o Oh my . . . . (Tries to stifle laughter, to no avail.) BWAHAHAHAHAA! (Gets down, leans against the bus, holding his sides and laughing his fluffy white tail off.)
(One by one, the rest of the cast member get up and look into the engine. Pretty soon, everyone is laughing his or her ass off. The camera cuts back to Jaken, who squawks quite loudly as the hood closes.)
