*New entries will be denoted by asterisks.*
If you have a lesson you'd like to see on this list, please email MJ at BlueEcho117@hotmail.com.
This list DOES contain some spoilers for later episodes if you haven't read them all just yet. Enjoy. ^^
MJ: *grumble grumble* Damn sponsors.....frickin frackin educational aspects, my ass....... *grumble snarl gripe* Take this, heh heh.
A miffed monk is a dangerous thing.
A missing limb can be construed as a flesh wound.
A dancing youkai warbling "Sing A Rainbow" is DEFINITELY something to be worried about.
After the number of people who have refused to bear your child starts getting into the double digits, it’s time to give up.
Always listen to short people with microphones.
Always play your flute correctly.
An emotional person in a tree is not likely to be cooperative.
Anyone who doesn’t shut up when they’re told to will be chained to a Nyan-Nyan for all eternity.
Be nice to the author. She won’t help you take over the world if she doesn’t like you.
Beaver is in high demand.
Being called "Tea Biscuit" is a bad, bad thing.
Being confused is an occupational hazard of living for some people.
Being possessed by the disgruntled spirit of XJo-Chan will get you out of having to babysit.
Beware of out-of-season presents wrapped with large red bows . . .especially when they’re accompanied by large toothy grins from XJo-Chan.
Bishounen make excellent babysitters . . . except for Inuyasha.
Bringing up certain subjects is bound to earn you a sound thrashing.
Cats and smiling psychopaths don’t mix well . . .unless a blender is involved; on the heels of that, there are some things you don’t even want to think about.
Cause and Consequence: fall on a Nyan-Nyan, do many chores.
Chipmunks are good, kindly, docile little creatures . . . until you mention their puffy cheeks.
Crazy people’s outrageous schemes often work.
Declaration of the intention of going on a murderous rampage will earn you another week tied to a stool.
Do NOT glomp the author.
Do trust people who wear baboon pelts, carry around black pickling jars, and cackle like they’ve got something caught in their throat.
Don’t insult people, as a general rule, but if you must, do so to their face and then run like hell.
Don’t push buttons if you don’t know what they do.
Dubbed is evil.
Duct tape is very handy. It’s similar to the Force: it has a dark side and a light side and it holds the universe together.
Everybody has a weakness for fluffy tails.
Everyone should know a second language, be it Spanish, Japanese, Gaelic, or Gremlin.
Evil must always triumph because good is dumb.
Exorcism is a tricky business.
Fluffy-tailed dog demons are not at all dangerous . . . until they’re sober.
For the last time, NO SMOKING ON THE BUS!!!!!
Forget "don’t get mad, get even." If you’re really pissed, stop that sucker flat.
Freeing people who have expressed intentions of going on a murderous rampage from the stool they’re tied to is generally a bad idea.
Gay is not bad.
Ghetto Bus = Bishounen Galore.
Girls can fix cars, too.
Given a vegetable peeler, an angry female can do a lot of damage.
Gremlins and dreams are useful things, and not just to Spielberg, either.
Grin and bear it. Or shred the mo-fo. Take your pick.
Guys in trenchcoats rock.
If somebody doesn’t want to make a confession, leave them the hell alone.
If there’s one single aspect of a monster/villain that could possibly be endearing, give him a cute nickname. Then sit back and watch him squirm.
If you’re banging two halves of a coconut together, chances are, you’re not riding on a horse.
If you’re happy and you know it, sit down and shut up.
If you don’t explain things in plain Japanese, you may get beaten to death with a dictionary.
If you get turned into a newt, don’t be too upset. It’ll get better. And remember, you could’ve been a naked mole rat.
If you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll want a glass of milk. If you give a Kibby a Chemical Pop . . . . hit the deck and call a repairman.
If you know a way things could possibly be worse, keep it to yourself.
If you MUST pursue the girl, at least wait until she’s single . . . and there is a BIG difference between "single" and "bereaved."
If your conscience is trying too hard to be your guide, squish his buggy ass.
In reality, the animals DO mock us.
It is not wise to give a Chemical Pop to an emotionally unstable wolf youkai.
It is very possible to have too much cuteness.
It may be a small world after all, but nobody wants to hear about it.
It’s good to be the author.
It’s impossible to fit some thirty-odd characters into the first scene.
It’s mean to slip a vacation brochure into someone’s script. Mean, but entertaining.
It’s never as funny when it happens to you.
It’s not polite to hug someone else’s bishounen. But we do it anyway.
Just because she’s legal does not mean she’ll bear your child.
Karaoke and youkai don’t mix . . . ever.
Kibbies cuddle back.
Let’s face it: no matter how tough and prickly your outward appearance may be, someone’s going to think you’re cute.
Magical rosaries are fickle things.
Make any excuse to party. Then party, party, party ‘till you just can’t party no more, and then try.
Melodrama isn’t always unnecessary.
Monks are nice. You can never have too many monks.
Moose bites can be pretty nasty.
Most people are perfectly nice and pleasant . . . . until they wake up.
Mysterious twins are a pain in the ass.
Never argue with the narrator.
Never ask a question unless you’re SURE you want to know the answer.
Never ask a truck-stop diner waitress named Crystal to bear your child.
Never drink from puddles.
Never glomp someone else’s rurouni.
Never interrupt a monologue.
Never try to carve your initials on a moose the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush.
Never underestimate the power of friendship . . . or blackmail.
Never underestimate the power of slightly-crazed people in large groups.
Never underestimate the power of sleep deprivation on the creative process.
No four-legged creature is safe from a Frenchman . . . or Seta Soujirou.
No matter what anyone else may tell you, a one-eyed monk covered in blue paint IS something worth laughing about.
No one ever wants to hear the technical bullshit and quantum physics.
Not everything that’s cute and fuzzy and cuddly-looking is a Pokémon.
Not knowing what a Kibby is does indeed make you a moron.
Once in a while, invent a new shocked expression.
Once in a while, people really ARE trying to tell you something.
Parodies are fun.
People can and do fit inside of hamster globes.
People entering the scene will always catch you in a compromising position.
People who get booted will most likely end up in the middle of next Wednesday.
Random changes in wardrobe are perfectly acceptable. Most of the time.
Random guest stars should be treated politely, as they may carry large mallets.
Random song clips are fun.
Red-headed guys are in high demand.
Revenge is sweet. Very very very very very very very very very very sweet.
Schizophrenic arguments are entertaining.
Singalongs are a bitch.
Snow angels are fun. So are wall angels and plywood angels and floor angels . . . .
Some people exist to make you miserable. Others exist to humiliate you and compound your suffering. They often work in conjunction.
Some people just do not know the meaning of "hyperbole."
Some things have a kick to them.
Soundtracks with a mind of their own can be troublesome.
Stay in character or risk being hit by a shoe.
Stories turn out differently when Fluffy reads them.
Stress bad. Hugs good. Nuff said.
Syndication starts with the first web posting.
There are some things that will never be posted, and with darned good reason.
There is always an episode guide . . . even if the series is barely two seasons along.
There is no limit to the number of popping veins one person can have.
There is only ONE No Da no Miko . . . and chances are, it’s not you.
Three Chemical Pops is more than enough.
Vinyl sneakers kick ass.
Walk softly and carry a loud SIT!
We all have our vast reservoirs of semi-useless knowledge. Some are just more useless than others.
We could all get along, but it’s ever so much more entertaining when we don’t.
We’ll shave our heads and wear sparkly pink tutus before we’ll use "slight" to describe Wolf wood’s drinking habit.
Whatever happens next is going o be hard pressed to beat the theft of someone’s pants.
When someone tells you the name and species of their pet, for God’s sake, listen and comprehend the first time they say it.
When things seem like they can’t get any worse, they will usually find a way.
When you absorb a monk, who also happens to be a Celestial Warrior, into the demon-born void in the palm of your hand, expect complications.
When you have three monks, share.
When your friends start foaming at the mouth and yelling at you in different languages, suffice it to say you probably don’t want to know what they’re saying.
Whenever possible, mess with people’s heads.
Wolf youkai are . . . . . . interesting.
You can be excused on completely ridiculous grounds, provided that the author agrees with you.
*You can never make too much fun of the people you work with. (arigatou Dave!)
You can’t go to a Halloween party dressed as yourself.
You don’t have to be completely off your rocker to ride this bus, but it sure helps!
Youkai don’t wear knickers.
