"I'm sorry, Joel." Billy said, sitting down by my brother after dinner. "I really went off on you today. I was just a little upset."

Joel looked sideways at Billy. "Upset about me going through your backpack?"

Billy shook his head. "Tommie and Blake. They're..."

"Yeah. I know." Joel cut him off.

"I guess I always wanted you guys to get back together. I mean, it's like when my parents divorced. They never exactly told me to choose between them, I just always felt like I had to." Billy sighed. "If it makes you feel any better, Tommie told me to always choose you over her, because she said that'd be the dumbest mistake of my life to ditch the band."

We all cracked a smile. That was so typically Tommie. "She always put herself second in her mind." Paul laughed.

"Let's focus on her bad qualities. You know, the things that really annoy you." I suggested, trying to think of reasons why Tommie wasn't perfect.

We sat there and no one could think of anything for a moment. "She always bit her lip. That annoyed the hell outta me." Joel finally spoke up.

"I hated how she always wiggled her foot back and forth." I said. How pathetic. We could only think of little things that annoyed us.

"She'd always have the dumbest jokes." Paul said, then started laughing. They were dumb, but they were funny as hell.

"She never tuned her guitar correctly. That really got me." Billy clenched his fist.

"Oh I know! It pissed me off only because it took her a shorter time than it took me, and it always sounded better!" I started to get myself worked up.

Joel shook his head and leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. "Those are all her quirks. Things that made her so perfect." He smiled. "Her only flaw was her secrecy. God. I still don't know for sure why she broke up with me."

"Blake." Billy whispered softly. "He'd tell me about how he loved her. About a week before she broke up with you, he kissed her." He turned his head away from Joel and looked down. "I shouldn't have told you that."

"It doesn't matter. She's with him." Joel put his hand on Billy's back. It wasn't like we lost our lead singer's girlfriend when Joel lost Tommie. It was like we lost our best friend. It really didn't matter why she was gone, because there was nothing we could do to get her back. I was sure of that, but Joel wasn't.

"I haven't lost her completely, yet. I mean, I know your finished with someone when you can't see their face when you close your eyes." He took a deep breath and held back tears. "Her face is all I see when I close my eyes."

Saw you with that other man
Feathered hair and tall and tan
Treat him like I know you can
Stroke his cheek and hold his hand
You're in love, you're in love
Hell below me, stars above

It's been a month, and I miss her. Missing her is really weighing on Billy, but missing her is really killing Joel. I coax Joel to get out of bed each morning, because he doesn't know if that day will be as bad as yesterday, and he doesn't know if tomorrow will be any better.

Yet again, we found ourselves in New York. We had a meeting to discuss a tour with our record label, and I was yet again coaxing Joel out of bed. I heard pounding at the door as I was in the middle of my daily speech on how today can't get any worse. Glad for the break, I walked away from my brother's bed and opened the door to a tearful Paul.

"Something happened to Tommie." I don't remember anything else that was said after that sentence, because that was the sentence that woke Benji up, sent him running out of the hotel and catching a cab to her apartment. Paul and I caught a cab five minutes after Joel was gone. I heard the whole story.

Billy got a call this morning from Tommie, crying. He left a note for Paul telling him that, "Something happened to Tommie". Nothing more was known of the situation. We got to her apartment, walked in the door, only to see Joel pacing back and forth.

"No one answers when I buzz up. I don't know what's going on. Something's wrong." He said immediately.

I pulled out my cell phone and called Billy. No one answered on his cell. "Nothing on his end."

"Call her apartment." he ordered. Paul got him to sit down, take a breath, and relax as much as possible. I dialed the number Joel gave me, Billy answered.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Blake and Matt died last night." Matt was the lead singer of The Series and Blake, of course, was the bassist. Not only were they awesome musicians, but they were my friends. They were all of our friends. Tommie decided to stay late at the studio to finish up some songs for their new album, Blake and Matt went home. On the way home, an out of service stop light directed a car to hit theirs. They died on impact.

I told the boys this, as the door was unlocked by Billy. We headed up the stairs, into her apartment, and back into her life.

Joel walked over to Tommie, who was devoid of tears. She wrapped her arms around him and whispered, "The scariest part was I didn't think you'd come."

He rubbed her back softly, as she began to cry again. "Of course I came. I told you, I love you more than anyone."

Someday, they'd be back together. I just knew it. She was meant for him, I knew it all along.

Stars above are shining down
Nothing ever gonna hurt me now
And I slip away happy as a clam
Stars above are smiling now
Ever since you put me down
And I close my eyes, and I can't see your face
Stars above are shining down...