M*A*S*H -- The Pilot
Hawkeye: Frank, I happen to be an officer only because I foolishly opened an invitation from President Truman to come to this costume party. And as for my ability as a doctor, if you seriously question that, I'm afraid I'll just have to challenge you to a duel.
Trapper: Swords or pistols?
Hawkeye: I'm thinking specimen bottles at twenty paces.
Frank: There are ladies present.
Hawkeye: Oh, sorry, baby.
Margaret: Major, to you.
Hawkeye: Right. Sorry, Major, baby.

Margaret: Those two, they're ruining this war, for all of us!

To Market, To Market
Frank: Margaret, thank you.
Margaret: For what?
Frank: For being you. You know what I love most about you?
Margaret: Tell me.
Frank: Your lobes. They drive me wild.
Margaret: Oh, be wild Frank. Be wild.
Trapper: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Hawkeye: They may have turned me off permanently.

The Ringbanger
Margaret: You're drunk!
Henry: Well, that's a dirty lie. And I intend to press charges the minute I'm sober!

Sometimes You Hear The Bullet
Margaret [about "I'm in the Mood for Love"]: This song gives me goosebumps.
Frank: I'm the same way about "Pennsylvania 6500".

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