Margaret: Put him down. You can't twirl an officer!
Check-Up
Margaret [drunk]: I've been waiting a long time to tell you something Captain Trapper Johnintyre.
Trapper: Really Margaret?
Margaret: I always watch you, but you wouldn't know that. Every time you look when I'm looking I watch something else so that you can't see that I've been looking when you were watching.
Trapper: I see.
Margaret: Especially when you play football in your bathing trunks. And now you're leaving...and I'm stuck with Needle Nose.
Life With Father
Margaret [talking to Hawkeye/Trapper]: I don't know which one of you is more obscene.
Trapper: He is. We took a poll.
There is Nothing Like a Nurse
Margaret: She's my nurse.
Trapper: I'll give you $500 for her.
Nurse: Sold!
Bombed
Margaret: We ran naked in the snow.
Trapper: We ran naked in the subway.
Trapper: Just the old football injury.
Margaret: Knee?
Trapper: Hemiroid. I spent a lot of time on the bench.
Trapper: We've got cots, blankets and a lot of extra plasma.
Margaret: Why can't I have a blanket of my own?
Trapper: Conservation of body heat. 98 degrees plus 98 degrees is 196 degrees.
Margaret: It doesn't work that way. You're just saying 196 degrees so you can get under the same blanket with me.
Trapper: Are you questioning a doctor's medical opinion?
Margaret [suddenly alert]: What are you doing with your hands?
Trapper: Just saluting.
Margaret: I don't trust you.
Trapper: You don't trust me? John Xavier McIntyre? In my grammar school on Graham Cracker day I was elected crumb boy.
Margaret: You'd better not try any hanky-panky.
Trapper: I haven't even got a hanky, and I left my panky in my other suit.