Soldier Of The Month
Margaret: Nothing is too good for the men.
BJ: I guess that's why they get so much of it.
Margaret: Everybody has to die sometime.
Frank: You'd think they'd give officers a break.
The Gun
Margaret: You lied to me, Frank! That's worse than stealing!
Frank: Well, I happen to think that stealing is worse than lying!
Margaret: And you did both!
Frank: So I ought to know!
Margaret: Well, at least you regretted it.
Frank: Never again. When you steal something, never try to return it.
Der Tag
Frank [phoning Margaret in Tokyo]: Margaret, who's Fred? I thought it was a nurses' seminar.
Margaret: He's a physical therapist. Nice but dumb. He hasn't got a brain in his whole BODD-dy.
Frank: Margaret, why do you say BODD-dy like that? What do you know about his BODD-dy?
Frank: What did you do? Where did you go?
Margaret: We all went to a bathhouse.
Frank: And where was Fred?
Margaret: Well, we didn't see much of him: he likes to stay underwater.
Smilin' Jack
BJ: I know I'd recognise you if I saw you in your underwear and a cape.
Margaret: That's hardly likely.
BJ: Just a thought.
Deluge
Margaret [storming into the men's shower]: Colonel Potter, I want to see you.
Potter: One step closer, and you'll get the whole picture!
Margaret: I've just heard something very disturbing and if it's true I'm afraid I'm going to have to fight you.
Potter: You might at least let me get into my trunks.
Margaret: It can't wait.
Potter: Well, fire ahead then.
Margaret: Is it true you might ship us out? The nurses?
Potter: Major, the Chinese are pouring over the border like the country's sprung a leak! It's a drastic situation; the nurses have to be evacutaed.
Margaret: Colonel, you don't understand.
Potter: Won't be the first time.
Margaret: The service is my life, I was born in an army hospital!
Potter: Started in khaki diapers, eh?
Margaret: Mother and I followed Dad to every armypost he was assigned to: Benning, Ord, Dix, Kilmer. The army was all I knew. I had no idea what a civilian was; I thought it was just somebody waiting around for his uniform to come back from the cleaners! When I was five I had a crying fit because they wouldn't let me have a crew cut. I was born to serve, Colonel, you must let me!
Potter: I'd rather not have the nurses in the path of the fighting.
Margaret: I can look after my girls.
Potter: Things could get ugly.
Margaret: Uglier than our own mines trying to kill me? Uglier than rats mating in my duffle bag?
Potter: I get your point.
Potter [walking into the women's shower, past Frank]: Just wanted to thank you for staying.
Margaret smiles.