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| Chapter 3 ‘the sword' Sakura watched the light between the cracks of the walls grow from gray to pale pink. Sunrise was surely near. She rose and stretched, trying to pick hay out of her tangled hair. Her clothes had dried overnight, and the boots too, though now they were so stiff that it was difficult to pull them back on her sore feet. She gritted her teeth, but there was no point in whimpering. They'd be doing a lot of walking that day, most likely, and it was no good dwelling on the pain already. She limped down the rows of horses and pushed open the door. All was still and quiet; the countryside was totally peaceful. There was nothing to indicate that there had been a violent and bloody coup just two weeks earlier in the capitol. Once again she found herself wishing that she could just live in the countryside as a peasant, like Li. It must be nice to be so removed from the events of the government. She crept to the cover of the trees to relieve herself, then began to cross back to the stables. I feel so filthy and disgusting. What I would give for a nice bath. Wistfully she remembered the huge marble bathroom in her palace suite. There had never been a shortage of hot water, or the many scented bottles of soaps and oils. Being clean was such a luxury these days. She paused, her hand on the stable doors. That thing in the courtyard, what was it? It looked like the pictures she'd seen in her books, a water pump. I wonder… Hesitantly she crossed the courtyard. It definitely was a water pump, there was already a patch of wet dirt underneath it. Somebody else was up, too. Sakura pressed down hard on the handle, but it wouldn't give. Then she tried turning it, but that didn't work either. Hmm. She stopped her struggles when she saw the little girl, just five or six, staring at her from the kitchen doorway. "Good morning," she said diffidently. The girl just nodded. "Um, would you mind showing me how to work this?" Again the girl nodded, and tugged on her braids thoughtfully before crossing the courtyard. Giving a sharp yank to the handle, she jerked it upwards and a stream of clean cold water came spilling out onto the ground. "Oh, upwards. Got it." The little girl giggled, and Sakura grinned, glad that Li hadn't witnessed that little episode. Gratefully she splashed some water onto her face and tried to comb out her hair. "This feels better than any bubble bath that I've ever had," she informed the little one, who giggled some more. "Yer funny." "I'm glad you think so." "Mum's got the bread comin' out. You wont some?" "Oh, that would be nice, but I don't have any money. I have to get going." "-t's all right. You ken have some." She tugged on Sakura's hand and pulled her across to the inn. Many wooden stools and a few tables were gathered near the entrance, alongside an outdoors oven. "She had to be up early today to make it all, wot with the many men that come in late last night." Sakura stopped in her tracks, and the girl turned around. "Wait." "Wot is it, then?" "What men came in late last night?" She had sinking sensation of dread when she saw the little girl's face. Maybe she was just being paranoid. Maybe she was jumping to conclusions. The soldiers were surely far ahead of them on the road. But before her new friend could open her mouth to answer, the door to the inn swung open once more. Sakura looked up to find herself facing Colonel Blackstock. For a moment they just stared at each other, both equally surprised. Then his face broke into a big smile. "Your highness! So good to see you, we've been ever so worried." He stepped out into the courtyard, unhurried, along with one of his footsoldiers. Sakura was rooted to the ground in shock, trembling with fear. "You know you really shouldn't be out in a place like this, it's so unsuitable for a young woman of your upbringing. The General was concerned enough for your welfare that he sent me to collect you." He stepped closer and held out his hand in a friendly gesture; she tried to move back and tripped over a stool. "I – I don't want t-to go back," she stuttered, and tried to crawl away as he came closer. The soldier raised his bow warily and tracked her. "Get away," she warned the child. She knew they wouldn't shoot her, but the little girl was in danger. "Go hide!" The girl's eyes were wide with apprehension, and she backed away to duck underneath one of the tables. The colonel was still stepping, slowly and carefully, in her direction. "Come now, your highness. Don't you want to come back to the palace, see your brother? I'm sure he misses you." Sakura couldn't reply, her fear was choking her throat, pulling her into panic as she tried to scramble away from the approaching soldier. "Pl-please…I don't want to g-go - " She broke off in surprise as the footsoldier gave a grunt of pain. An arrow had sprouted from his chest, and he stared at it in a moment of stunned shock before tumbling to the ground. Both Sakura and Blackstock looked up to see Li a few paces away, slapping another arrow into his bow. The colonel made a motion for his sword, but Li finished reloading and raised the bow to point at him. "Don't." Blackstock paused, his hand still on the hilt of his sword. "Turn away from this, boy. This girl is the property of our new king." Li glanced at Sakura's terrified face. "I don't think she agrees." "Not her decision, I'm afraid." He made another step for the princess, and Li did the same, raising his bow even higher. He was reluctant to shoot the man just yet, as he had no more arrows. But he would if he had to. "Come on, get up," he directed Sakura. "It's time to go." She was shaking with fear, but she managed to climb to her feet and back away from the officer. Blackstock watched her go, fury unmistakable in his eyes. She had been so close…almost within grabbing distance, and this scruffy peasant had interfered. "Get three horses," Li said in a low voice, when Sakura was near enough. "Set the rest free. Hurry. Go." She nodded and scurried back to the stables. Li hadn't taken his eyes off the colonel for a second. Tensely they regarded each other in the growing daylight. "You just made the worst mistake of your life, boy." "You don't know anything about my life," Li replied calmly. "I know that it will be over very soon. I will not tolerate defiance against our king." "I try not to pay attention to authority." Behind him, Li could hear the shouts of the girls as they chased the horses out of the stables. He knew they needed to hurry, but he wished they wouldn't be so noisy. They were bound to wake the other soldiers eventually, and he had no idea how many there were. "You can't win, peasant. There are too many of us, my soldiers are all over the countryside. The princess will never escape." "Not my concern." There was a slight sound from above, and Li raised his bow to shoot the soldier in the window before the man could release the arrow. He gave a choking gasp of death and fell forward, landing on the ground with a sickening crunch. Blackstock was impressed by the young man's reflexes, but never mind that just now. He was all out of arrows. "And now you'll pay for your defiance," he snarled as he drew his sword. Li gave a little sigh as he set his bow down on the ground. He had put it off, resisting using it because of the questions that were sure to follow. But there was no delaying it anymore. He reached under his shirt and pulled his pendant off, over his head. Blackstock halted mid-stride. No, surely not – it couldn't be… Li squeezed his fist tight and concentrated. Before the colonel's astonished eyes, the little trinket grew into a long sword. Sakura saw it as she mounted a horse, and felt her jaw drop. The scarlet tassel, the gilded hilt, it was all there. There was no mistaking that sword. Smiling grimly, Li twirled the sword around once in his hand with practiced ease, then raised it in combat stance. Blackstock was staring at him, surprise written all over his hardened features. But he recovered quickly, and with a yell he leapt across the courtyard to do battle. Li blocked his slash expertly, angling the force of the blow to the space around him, then turned and slid right past him. He didn't want to lead the colonel into the courtyard, where the girls were. Instead he backed up to the inn's walls, parrying and striking, trying to relax and concentrate at the same time. This was his first swordfight in a long time, and this man was very good. The sun had now risen completely over the treetops, throwing its brilliant pink and orange light onto the flashing blades in the yard. The little girl, peeking out from under her shelter, was entranced by the motion and speed. She could barely follow the movement, they were so fast. Sakura and Madison were awed too, as they stared at the dueling pair. Li could feel the heat growing behind him, he knew they were getting close to the oven. He could see that the horses were ready to go, it was time to end this battle. Pushing down hard, he momentarily trapped the enemy blade beneath his on the ground. Before the colonel could react, he slid past him once again, jabbing him sharply in the ribs with his elbow. Then he delivered a powerful kick to his lower back, pushing him straight into the open flames of the oven. Blackstock's scream of pain split the morning, and Li knew that their time was up. The sword returned to pendant form in his hand and he pulled it on over his head before ducking to grab his bow and then leaping lightly on the back of the third horse. The girls were still staring at him, wide-eyed. "What are you looking at? Come on, move!" He kicked the horse sharply with his heels and prodded it into a gallop. They followed suit and soon they were on the road. Blackstock extinguished the last of the flames by rolling in the dirt, and he ran to catch one of the horses. But it was too late. The princess was already out of sight over the top of the hill. "Impossible," he snarled at his soldiers. They had woken to his yells and run out of the house, too late to catch up to the fleeing princess. "Impossible. We accounted for all of them. It just can't be!" In his frustration he slashed at one of the stools with his sword. He sliced it cleanly in two. The fugitives rode hard for twenty minutes, then slowed to a walk for another ten before Li called for a halt. "Dismount," he directed the girls, "and step directly on the rocks of that dry creek." He pointed to a gravelly creekbed that ran alongside the road before leading into the woods. "Don't leave any tracks." They obeyed as he tied a length of rope between the halters of the three horses. It was a shame to have to give up transportation, but it couldn't be helped. The horses would be too easy to track, and traveling on the open road was out of the question. They were far too conspicuous. Li slid off the mare's back and slapped her hard on the backside. "Go on! Git! Git!" Neighing apprehensively, she took off at a mild canter, the other two keeping pace. With any luck, their pursuers would follow their tracks for some distance before realizing they were now riderless. "Come on. Into the shelter of the trees." He turned, but Sakura planted herself in his path. "Wait. Who are you, Li? Where did you get that?" She indicated the pendant, partially concealed now by his shirt. "Commoners aren't even allowed to carry swords, and that…only the men of the King's Own carry swords like that. My brother has a sword like that. Where did you get it?" Li's dark eyes flashed, and he gripped her arms in a sudden motion. She whimpered as he squeezed. "I didn't steal it," he growled. "It's mine. You got that? I earned it." She was trembling with fear as he glared at her, his face so close that she could see the tiny little gold flecks in his eyes. His words had an edge of desperate pride to them, as if he was afraid she would think him nothing more than a common thief. But she wasn't so much concerned about where he'd gotten the sword but where he had learned to use it. "Who are you?" she whispered again. "Who am I?" His eyes seemed to bore into her, full of fury, and of wrongs that were beyond his power to express. "I'm nobody." He pushed her aside and began striding for the trees. After a moment, she and Madison followed. What other choice was there? The courier had ridden hard and fast all day, and his horse stood in the palace yards, legs splayed, chest heaving. The courier himself was exhausted, but he stood straight in proper posture, his hands behind his back and his chin high. The General finished rereading the message and crumpled it in his hand. "This is true?" "I didn't see it myself, sir. But Colonel Blackstock seemed very sure." "And there was just one?" "Just one, sir." "Dismissed." Gorrell spun on his heels, ignoring the salute the soldier gave him, and strode back inside the palace. Impossible, he was thinking, in echo to the colonel's thoughts. Utterly impossible. Any that were not killed in the attack are in chains right now, in the dungeons. We counted very carefully. We even took care of the instructor. How can this be? But Blackstock was not given to flights of imagination, and he wouldn't invent something this preposterous without good reason. That was what was on General Gorrell's mind as he turned down the corridor, his underlings scattering before him like startled sheep. "Open it," he ordered the guard outside the cell. Tory heard the key turn in the lock and managed to scramble to his feet before the General came storming through the doorway. "Who is he?" "Who is who?" "The fighter with your sister. Where did he come from?" "I don't know what you're talking about." The General struck the prince hard across the face with the back of his hand, so hard that Tory almost hit the wall behind him. "Don't play games with me, your highness, I'm not in the mood. Who is this man?" Tory braced himself against the wall, trying to get his breath back. Already there was a stinging pain running up and down the side of his face, and he felt dizzy. He was so weak these days...it was so hard to concentrate and focus... "I don't know who you're talking about. What, did someone smack your boys around, General?" Gorrell snarled a little and punched Tory solidly in the stomach, making him groan and double over. "Don't push me, Tory. You don't want to know my limits." He grabbed the prisoner's shirt and pulled him into a standing position again before pressing him against the wall. "Tell me!" Tory drew a ragged breath, and shook his head slightly to clear it. "You're scared, aren't you?" he rasped. "You're scared that somebody's actually fighting back." The General made no reply, but merely slammed him against the wall again, almost knocking Tory unconscious. Then he stepped away, a malicious glint of determination in his eye. "Guard." "Sir?" "Hold the prisoner's food for a day." The cell was beginning to spin a little, and the General's smirk faded in and out of Tory's vision. He shook his head again, trying valiantly to stay alert, but it was a losing battle. His knees were giving out on him, and he slid back down to the floor. "We'll see how willing you are to discuss things by tomorrow evening, your highness." "Go to hell." Gorrell only grunted at that, then turned and left the cell. Tory squeezed the chains in his fists, trying to stay awake with the sharp pain. He couldn't black out now, he might never wake up. You've got to stay strong, Tory, don't give in. Don't let him win. He won't win, not as long as Sakura gets away. Shakily he got on his hands and knees, breathing shallowly as he struggled not to throw up. Someone's helping her, someone that's got him scared. Thank god. As long as she's safe, he can't hurt me. All that matters is her. Run, Sakura. Please…run as fast as you can. There was no question about sleeping in the open that night. The stars were brilliant and clear in a cloud-free sky, and there didn't seem to be any civilization for leagues. Sakura hugged her knees to her chest as she watched Li skin the rabbit by their fire. He knew how to make a fire with certain wood so that there was almost no smoke at all. It was a danger to have a fire going at night, he'd explained, but they had no choice. Not only did they need to cook, it was a deterrent to predators. The four-legged kind, anyway. Quickly he skewered the lean hare with a sharp stick and positioned it between two vertical posts over the flame. Sakura had always loved rabbits, and had never even considered eating one. She thought they were so adorable. But she was hungry, and the meat would probably taste very good. People are awful. Including me. She grinned wryly to herself and glanced around the clearing, at the dark and mysterious forest beyond their circle of light. They hadn't glimpsed the road once since leaving the horses, but they had been moving in a straight line and consistent direction all day. Before her, the half moon was rising over the treetops. Yes, they had definitely been moving east all day. She could recognize the star patterns in the sky now, the ones from her studies. Li had hardly spoken three words that day, but had led them through the forest with absolute confidence. He knew exactly where he was going; there was no doubt about it. "You've been to Tomoeda before, haven't you?" she murmured. He glanced up, a flicker of surprise in his eyes. "You never needed to ask for directions." The hostile glare was reasserting itself, but she would not be put off anymore. She deserved to know the truth about who she was traveling with. "Who are you, Li? How do you know how to fight so well? And how did you come by that sword?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Please. I'm not going to judge you, we just want to know. We owe you our lives, Li. I'm not going to hold anything you say against you." Those green eyes were wide with appeal as she stared at him across the fire. Madison and Kero were staring at him too, curiosity evident in their features. Li sighed and turned the spit a little, roasting the hare evenly. "You wouldn't understand." "Give me a chance." "My father built that cabin with his own two hands." "What?" She was thrown by the sudden shift in topic, and he glared. "Do you want to know or don't you?" "Sorry. Go on." "My father built that cabin in the valley with his own two hands. Actually, I think my mother might have helped too, but that's beside the point. He never had to buy any labor, nor could he afford to. But he always said it was important to have a home, and so he staked out the valley and built that cabin. I was born there, and I'd never seen more than what was between the valley and the village by the time I was seven. It was hard, a tough life living out in the wild like that, but he was good at it." Li's eyes grew unfocused as he spoke, gazing into the past. His back had stiffened a little at the first mention of his father, and there was a hint of pride in his voice. "He was so proud of everything that he and my mother had worked for. He told me all the time that I should never feel sorry for myself that I was born a peasant, and poor. He said there was no point in being sorry, but to just get on with life and get over it. My father was very proud of what he'd accomplished." He swallowed. "Too proud. I will never forget the day it happened. I wish I could. But I know I won't. A troop of bandits rode into the valley, and followed the smoke to our cabin. It must have been obvious that we had nothing worth stealing, but they weren't out to steal. They just wanted to destroy. And then they saw my mother." Sakura exchanged a nervous glance with Madison. "Li, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to - " "But you did. And don't be sorry. You didn't do it. They saw her, the most beautiful woman in that part of the country, or so I'm told, and demanded that she service them. My father was furious. He told them to get off his land, and to leave his wife alone. He never even considered acceding to them, in order that we might survive. He tried to fight them, all five of them. He never even had a chance. Maybe if he'd had a sword, but then, commoners aren't allowed to carry swords. They killed him right in front of me and my mother. And then they took their turns with her, and smashed and broke anything that could be found in the cabin. They ignored me. I must have looked absolutely pitiful, crying and hugging the body of my father out on the grass. I was just a child, helpless and pathetic. When they were done, they just mounted and rode off. Never saw them again." His voice was hard and bitter as he stared into the flames. He'd long forgotten about the rabbit, and Madison reached up to turn the spit some more. It looked as though it was nearly done. Sakura was afraid to ask, but she had to. "Your mother?" "She survived. Mostly. The knowledge that my father was gone was what broke her, more than what the men had done to her. She'd always been a tough woman, you can't live in the forest any other way, but after that she just started to decline. Watching her, I knew that those men had killed her as much as they had killed my father. I hated seeing her like that, just as much as I had hated watching them murder him in front of me. I decided that I didn't like being helpless. I wanted to learn how to fight. If those men ever returned, I would be able to defend my home and my mother. I had heard in the village, from the king's soldiers and other travelers, about the warriors of the palace. In particular, I was fascinated by the stories about the King's Own. Nobody could defeat them, people said, it was nearly impossible to kill them. The elite bodyguards of the royal family, they were trained from a very young age in all methods of combat. I was hooked. I knew that I wanted to do it." The rabbit looked done. Madison removed it from the fire and began to slice at it with Li's knife. She wasn't really sure how to cut it up, but there was no question of interrupting him to ask. She would just have to figure it out on her own. "But of course, no peasant could ever dream of enrolling. Only the nobility was welcome for such classes. But I wanted to do it. I needed to do it. I wouldn't let anything stand in my way of learning to fight. So I begged one of the servants at the nearby castle to help me. Lord Thomas of Trebond, the noble's name was. He's dead now, and the village never saw much of him when he was alive. He was a scholar, absorbed in his parchments and scrolls. It was easy to sneak into his castle and nick his seal. My friend Rufus wrote the letter, posing as Trebond, dictating that his son be trained in the school for the King's Own. He thought it was amusing how determined I was, and never dreamed I would actually go through with it. But I stamped the letter with the seal, and returned it, and told my mother of my plans. She cried of course. She ordered me not to go, she begged me, she pleaded. She said I was the only reason for her to live. But I would not be put off of my plans. Give me that." "What?" Madison started as he grabbed the knife and the rabbit out of her hands. "Like this. See?" Quickly he sliced off the haunches and gave one to each girl. Then he split the remaining meat between himself and Kero. "She watched me go that day, tears running down her cheeks. I didn't look back. I hiked to the village on a day that I knew a merchant's caravan was passing through, and I tagged along with them all the way to the capitol. Tomoeda frightened me, of course. I was all alone, with no money, and I had never seen a place like the city. I was just a country boy. But I couldn't turn back. The memory of my father dogged me; his face was haunting me. I had to learn. So I marched into the palace and presented my letter. I can't believe I pulled it off, I really can't. They must have been suspicious, seeing how dusty and ragged my clothing was. But the seal was there, plain as day, and so I was accepted. At the age of eight, I began my training with the other nobles' sons." A grim smiled tugged at the corners of his mouth. "I was good at it. I liked it. Master Wei said I was well suited to the fighting arts, that I had a feel for it. Such a surprise, considering my academic father. I brushed off those comments with a wave and light laugh. It was much easier to hide than I thought it would be. All students wore uniforms, and we ate in the palace kitchens. The day was spent with all manners of classes, both weapons and physical combat. It never occurred to anybody that I wasn't one of them. I was simply an ordinary student, best in my class, but otherwise unexceptional. Sometimes we had permission to wander the city for fun. That was hard. I never had the money that my friends did for buying things. But I said that my father was very strict, and didn't believe in giving me an allowance. They teased me, but they believed me. I got along well. When classes ended for a month in mid-summer, I was actually sorry to have to go. Already the palace felt more like home than my own cabin ever had. But I trudged the long road home, back to the valley. The look on my mother's face when I came walking into the clearing…" He shook his head. "I was seized with guilt when I realized how much she'd missed me. She cried and cried that day. She was so happy to have me back, even if it was for just two weeks. She wanted me to stay, she told me that I was good enough at that point to defend myself against anyone that ever attacked us. After a year of intensive training, I probably was. But I knew that the next year would be the year we began to learn sword combat, and nothing could keep me away. So I turned a deaf ear to my mother's pleading, and hiked back to the capitol near summer's end. That autumn we began training with the practice swords. I enjoyed that more than anything. It was tough, hard work, but I knew every drop of sweat I poured in practice meant I was closer to my goal. Not everyone was as motivated as I was; already students were beginning to drop out. The training for the King's Own is the toughest in the land, Master Wei said that not everyone would succeed. Those that left enrolled in training for the regular army soldiers. But not me. I was loving it. And when I completed the first round of swordsmanship, I was awarded my magical sword. The ones only distributed to the King's Own." Dreamily he fingered the pendant under his rough cotton shirt. "Technically they belong to the palace, but the student carries it every day after it's awarded to him. It feels as though it's his. It was even harder to leave that summer than the one before it." He paused to tear at the meat in his hands with his teeth. He'd never told anyone this story, and he couldn't believe he was telling it now. Why on earth was he opening up to these strange girls? But in a way, it felt nice. It felt good to lay it all out before someone else. The story was begging to be told. "And so it went, year after year. More and more students dropped out, the class size grew to be very small. I was thriving, enjoying every minute of it. Nobody treated me like I was anything less than them. The other students looked up to me, asked me for help with their technique. Even the royal bodyguards themselves, the men of the King's Own, stopped by during practice to watch me. Every summer it grew harder and harder to leave and come back to see my mother. I didn't want to see how much she'd aged over the years, while I was growing stronger and more fit. I didn't want to see how depressed she was living alone, without me. I knew what she wanted, but I couldn't. I just couldn't leave the training. I loved it so much. And at fifteen, I knew I was coming close to the end. What to do? I'd always promised my mother that when I completed the training, I would return home to live with her, and protect her. But deep down, I didn't want to. The palace was my home, and I was expected to join the King's Own upon graduation. I fantasized about becoming a bodyguard for the king, and maybe even training the incoming students as well. I was important in the palace. I mattered. I didn't want to leave that." Sakura was leaning forward, entranced. "What happened?" "A disaster, disguised as a blessing. In the spring of my sixteenth year, one of the royal bodyguards fell sick. Master Wei suggested that as top student, I should be allowed to accompany the troop in the spring parade. The captain agreed, and I was assigned to the left flank of the king's horse. I was thrilled beyond words. I couldn't believe that all this was happening to me, a commoner. The day of the parade was beautiful, a pure blue sky and flowers blooming everywhere. The crowd was in high spirits as they lined the streets, waving and shouting to the royal family." He paused thoughtfully. "You were some distance directly behind me, I think. I was so focused on your father, I'm not really sure. He was very kind, waving and smiling at the people. And he talked to me. He told me he always liked to chat with his bodyguards on these long parades; it was so interesting to converse with us. I was having the best day of my life. And then it happened." He ceased talking again to demolish the rest of his meal. His audience was afraid to breathe; they were hanging onto his words with fascination. "Some lunatic attacked us. I don't know who he was or where he came from, but he'd got it into his head to come tearing out of the crowd and slashing a knife." Sakura gaped. She remembered this parade now – how could she not? It had only been the previous year! "He never had a chance, of course. But it figures that he would make a beeline for the left side of the king. I should have just hung back. I was only a student, and nobody would have thought the less of me if the bodyguards had confronted him first. But the training had shaped me over the years; I reacted without even thinking. I caught his arm mid-swing and threw him over my shoulder. I pinned him to the ground and disarmed him, and then the others hauled him to his feet and he was arrested. I was a hero. They all congratulated me on how well I did, heaping praise at my feet. The king himself shook my hand and thanked me. That night the entire guard took me out to celebrate and bought me anything I wanted for dinner. I loved it. I was stupid. I should have seen where this was going. But it had been so long, and I had hidden myself so well for so many years…I'd gotten careless. Master Wei wrote a letter praising me and thanking me for the service I had rendered my king, and had it delivered to Lord Trebond's castle." Sakura gave a horrified gasp, so caught up was she in the story. "Oh no," she whispered. "That's what I said when Master Wei called me to his quarters and asked me to explain the meaning of Lord Trebond's rather puzzled response that he had never had a son, and in fact had never married. I couldn't think of anything, I was frozen with shock. The whole story came tumbling out. He was my teacher, my sensei, he'd practically been my father for so many years. I thought he might understand, that he might forgive me. And I think he wanted to. I know I was his favorite student. But now others were involved, and it just couldn't go on. I was in danger of being imprisoned for fraud, and impersonation. Not to mention wielding a sword as a commoner. Never mind that I had saved the king's life. Never mind that I had performed perfectly in all my classes for so many years, and that I stood to make an excellent bodyguard. None of that mattered, now that people knew I was a peasant. Wei suggested that I go, and quickly. I thought the king himself might have intervened, at least as a thank you for saving his life. But he didn't do anything. Nobody cared about me at all, now that they knew the truth." He directed a bitter glare at Sakura, who cringed. "I barely got out in time. I slipped out of the palace that night, before they'd had a chance to come around and arrest me. I took only what was mine. You can say that I shouldn't have taken the sword. But after all they'd taken from me, I felt justified in keeping it. I earned it." Sakura nodded quickly in agreement. "And then there was nothing else to do but go home. This time it was forever. I knew that I could never return to the capitol. There was nothing left for me there now. The training had been my whole life, and I had been expelled just a few weeks before my graduation. It was hard not to be bitter about that, on my way home." He gave a short, harsh, laugh. "I'd say I failed at that. I was bitter. I was full to the brim with righteous hatred of those that had put me in this position. It wasn't fair. I just knew it wasn't fair, but it didn't matter. The only thing that cheered me was that I would be able to tell my mother that I was home for good, and that I had succeeded in learning how to defend her against criminals. I had fulfilled my promise. You can imagine what a nasty shock it was to arrive home and discover she had been dead for weeks." Sakura clapped a hand over her mouth. "She just got worn down. It was too much, living on her own and trying to survive. If I'd been there to hunt and gather for her, she probably would have been fine. But I didn't want to see that. I'd been closing my eyes to her weakness all those summers, wanting to pretend that she was fine and could get along without me. But it wasn't the truth. I'd left her, and she had finally just given up, sure that I would never come back after graduation. Rufus had buried her; she'd been staying in one of his rooms for the last few weeks of her life. He did all he could, but medicine and food weren't going to help. She didn't want to go on. She'd lost her husband, and she was sure she'd lost her son. She wanted to die. And so just like that, I'd lost another parent. This time it was because I did know how to fight, rather than being defenseless. Ironic, isn't it?" The story was over, as abruptly as it began. Sakura still had her hand over her mouth, fighting nausea. No wonder…no wonder he hated royalty. She would feel the same way. "That was just last spring," she said softly. "I remember that parade. I didn't see you, my horse reared in all the confusion and I was thrown. My brother reached out and grabbed me just in time. I never imagined that it was just a student that saved my father. Li, I swear to you that he never knew about your problem. He would have helped. He's very kind, and he always said that every person is important, no matter what their status." "I don't believe you." "I swear it," she pleaded. She felt obligated to defend herself against those accusing brown eyes. "He never mentioned anything to us, my brother never said anything. None of us were told what happened." "How do you know?" "I don't." She swallowed. "My father's dead, I know that. But I promise you he didn't know what they did to you. He would have never allowed such cruelty." "You're telling me that the king himself had no idea what was happening in his own palace?" His tone was rich with disbelief, but she nodded anyway. "My father wasn't omniscient, he wasn't an all-powerful ruler. Surely this coup demonstrates that. He tried very hard, but he couldn't know everything. There was just no way. Li, I swear he didn't know…" Hesitantly she reached out and touched his arm, but he pulled away as if he'd been burned. "Don't. Just don't. It doesn't matter anymore, understand? It's all over with; I've been exiled, and that's that. All I wanted to do when I resettled into the cabin was to be left alone. I thought I'd earned that much, at least. But now royalty has intruded once more in my life, turning everything upside down and taking away all that I had. I did not ask for this. Saving your family hasn't brought me anything except misery." He stood and walked away from the fire, the tense set of his shoulders obvious even in the dim light. "Wait," Sakura begged, and stood to follow him. "Sakura, no." Madison reached for her hand and pulled her back down onto the ground. "I wouldn't. He needs to be alone right now." Tears were sliding down Sakura's cheeks as she stared at her friends. "My father didn't know it, I'm sure." "I know, Sakura. But Li doesn't. This is probably the first time he's ever told this story, it brought up a lot of unpleasant memories. Give him time to adjust." The girls glanced at the dark forest. Already Li was out of sight. "What if he doesn't come back? He could just decide to walk away, go back home and leave us out here. We can't do anything about it." "He'll come back." "How do you know? I wouldn't. I can see why he hates me now." "He doesn't hate you, Sakura. He hates the injustice. And he will come back. I promise." Madison had seen it in his eyes. He was a man of honor, in spite of the years of lying to his teachers. He would not leave them to die in the fields. "It's been a long day. Why don't you go to sleep? I'll keep watch until he comes back." Sakura shook her head. "I want to stay up. I want to talk to him." "But I don't think he's quite ready to talk to you. Go to bed." There was a mild tone of authority in Madison's voice, in spite of Sakura's status, and they both smiled. Madison had always been the more sensible of the two. "All right. I'm going. But I'm not going to sleep anytime soon." She crawled into the tent, which was really nothing more than a large hide anchored to the ground with rocks. A thick branch had been sharpened and driven into the ground to keep one end raised above the ground. "Go to sleep, Sakura. It's going to be another long day tomorrow. I'll sing a lullaby." It won't help, Sakura thought rebelliously, but she lay her head down in the crook of her arm and closed her eyes. Nobody sang more beautifully than Madison did, and soon the clearing was filled with her sweet, dulcet voice as she sang a slow and drowsy song. Li, pacing through the trees, heard it and slowed. He remembered that voice. Many years earlier, when he had performed his drills to less than Master Wei's satisfaction. The punishment had been to scrub the palace floors on the third level, in between the balconies and the living quarters. It would have been horribly boring to do all that scrubbing on his hands and knees, but a girl singing on one of the balconies above him had kept him company. It had been a much happier, much more sprightly song that she had sung that day, but there was no mistaking that voice. I suppose it was her. I wonder if she was cleaning that day, too. He leaned heavily against a tree and gazed moodily at the stars, wondering if his mother and father could see him. There wasn't anything he could have done for his father; he'd accepted that and moved on. But his mother… It was my fault, Mother. I killed you. And the guilt tears me apart every day. I'm so sorry. So sorry. I was only trying to make something of myself. I thought I was doing the right thing. It was a mistake, and I'm repeating it. Helping the princess is only going to bring ruin upon me, I'm sure of it. But I can't walk away from that singing. They're just two innocent girls, it's not their fault. Her parents were killed too. As much as I hated her father, I know she grieves for him. I hate this. He knelt underneath the stars and rested his forehead on his knee. I hate all of this. When will the pain ever stop? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: I do not own these characters |