Well peepz, this is my writings page. I wrote it for the heck of it one day and it's just been growing. Eventually more will be added for yall to laugh at, but until then, just remember, I will be watching you. ;-)
Well, as you might have noticed, immediately below this text is a bunch of seemingly random words. Try clicking them. They are the names of my poems I have written over the past few years, and each name will take you to the poem of that name. After each one you should see a link that will bring you back to the top of the page. Or if you prefer, you can just scroll through them all.
LIFE
As we go through life,
We stop and wonder,
Should I have done this or that?
We may never know
If we should have or not.
What we have done in our lives,
Is forever set in stone.
No matter how we want it to be
Once done, there is
Naught that we can do.
We must live each
And every day
With these choices.
For once made,
They are set
In stone, now
And forever.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 2
So beautiful,
So ugly,
So pleasant,
So horrible,
So useful,
So useless,
So helpful,
So deadly.
So its
Simply your
Mind.
Back to top of page.
LIFE 2
Life is happy,
Life is sad.
Life is wonderful,
Life is pathetic.
Life is dark,
Life is light.
Life is best,
Life is worst.
Life is short,
Life is long.
Life is meaningful,
Life is meaningless.
Life is life,
Life is Death.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 3
What can you say?
What can you do?
You are what you are.
You do what you do.
If otherz don't like it,
Then just tell them,
"Screw you!"
Back to top of page.
LIVE
What we see in life,
And what we get in life,
Are very rarely
The same thing.
We see one thing,
And want it.
What we want,
We rarely get.
That is just the way
That life goes.
If a person
Doesn't like it,
Then who knowz
What they shall do.
One person may accept
Life as is.
Another person may not
Be this way.
Only time will tell
Who is this way,
And who isn't.
It is
Our choice in life
To decide how
We shall live.
If we are happy,
That is our choice.
If we are sad,
That is our choice.
However we are
Is our choice.
No one else
Will ever decide
How we are
Meant to live
Our time on
This plane
Of existence.
Our life.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 4
So sweet,
So innocent,
So lovely,
So hateful,
So ugly,
So hateful,
So spiteful,
So addictive,
So hard,
So easy,
So simple,
So complex.
So what?
Itz life.
Back to top of page.
WALKING
Walking all alone,
Just walking.
No start,
No finish.
No beginning,
No end.
Just walking.
Coming from nowhere.
Going to nowhere.
Why do I do this?
Only the God knows.
Only time will show,
Where I shall go.
Just walking.
That which will happen,
Will happen regardless.
Just walking.
Looking, but not seeing.
Talking, but not being heard.
Waving, but not being seen.
Listening, but not hearing.
Just walking.
Walking through life.
Back to top of page.
WOLF
As I sit and watch,
I notice how noble
They can be.
They move with such beauty.
So graceful.
The twin peaks stretching forth
From their crown.
They are so skilled
In all that they do.
They run together.
They are rarely apart,
From one another.
They are gentle,
Yet, at the same time,
They are deadly.
Their wild beauty,
Can never be tamed,
No matter how we try.
It shall forever remain,
In one way or another.
They are one of
Of the noblest creatures
On this planet.
They are the wolves.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 5
Always constant,
Ever present,
So sweet,
So painful,
So painless.
A beginning,
And end.
Always watching,
And waiting.
Waiting patiently
For it
To get here.
It is
So beautiful,
And yet,
So ugly.
It appears,
Most run,
And then
Some embrace
This thing.
This thing
Will capture
Each one
Of us.
We run,
To it,
And also,
From it.
This is,
The way
Of life
We live.
It shall
Always catch
Our eye,
No matter
The form
It takes.
None shall
Ever understand,
This thing.
It is,
Known by
Many names.
The most
Beautiful one
Would be
Death.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 6
Those that get close to you,
Or that you get close to,
Must inevitably be torn from you.
We can avoid it,
We can forget it,
But it will still catch us.
No matter what we do.
We must just accept it,
And cope with it,
But never fear it.
Such is the life,
On this planet
That we live.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 7
Wandering down the paths of life,
A fork in the road approaches me,
Should I take the low road?
Or should I take the high road?
Both go up and down.
Both go left and right.
Both will be hard
Each requires some sacrifice
What that is,
We shall have to see.
It will be different for each.
No two will be the same.
No two will make the same choices.
Each will have to walk their own path
Whether alone, or with someone else
Is their choice
It is their concern
Not to be decided by anyone else.
Not you or me.
Only them.
As they walk down the path,
That they alone choose,
They will have to make decisions.
How they decide,
Is also up to them.
Their entire road is up to them.
When they reach the end,
They will realize,
It doesn't end there!
It keeps going on
Until where it really does end,
We won't know until
We get there.
Back to top of page.
All the Same
It can be amazing,
What one will say
To you when they
Only want something.
From you.
And yet when they
Want not a thing
Or you have
Nothing for them,
How they can avoid you,
Like an infectious disease.
Or they may hang around,
Simply to attack when,
You are weaker
Or when you falter.
And then they just might
Attack you when they want.
At their convenience.
Only time will tell,
How things will turn out.
Back to top of page.
TRUE FRIEND
Going through life,
Even though it may take time,
You may gain the best friend.
They are hard to find
But when you find one,
They are worth the entire search.
Once you find a true friend,
Never let them go.
But if they are a true friend,
They should never leave you.
A million things,
It may take to make
A best friend that way.
But with a single word,
Or even a single action,
Or non action it may be,
That can cause it all
To come crashing down.
When that happens,
It may take awhile
To be rebuilt,
Or it may never be done.
Only time will tell.
The thing that was done wrong,
May always stick with you,
Till the end of time.
Never to be forgotten.
It can never be foretold,
How these things will work out.
Only time will tell
How they will go.
The way that it goes,
Might not always be,
The way you want it to go.
Only time will tell.
Back to top of page.
POSSIBLE
Walking through life,
Through the good,
Through the bad,
It seems as though
You are all alone.
Things may get worse,
Things may get better,
Just ask Him
Into your life,
And the impossible,
Now seems
And is very
Possible.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 8
As you walk through life,
It seems as though
You are all alone.
You may have walked
Ten thousand steps away,
Or possibly even more,
But no matter how far away,
You have walked,
No matter what you have done,
Just take one step back,
Thatz all it takes.
He will always be there for you.
Waiting with arms wide open.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 9
He is the one and only
He is the Rock we stand upon
Never fallin, Never crumbling
Now and forever,
He will be there for us.
Ever watching, Ever guarding.
Never leaving.
It may appear to us,
That he has left us.
We may think He never was.
But, no matter what we think,
He always has been
And always will be
Right there for us.
All it takes is for us
To open our heartz,
To open our eyez,
And realize,
His love for us
Is a never ending
Love.
Back to top of page.
DRIVEN
I am not driven by Fear or by Hatred.
I am not driven by Duty or by Desire.
I am driven by but one thing.
And one thing alone...
Total Retribution.
Cold and Hard and Final.
This is the same one, just done in another language. Don't even ask why I did it this way.
Non ab timore aut ab odio ager
Non ab officio aut ab cupiditate ager
Sed ab una re ager
Et sola una res
Tota poena
Frigida et dura et ultima
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 10
Going through life,
Meeting new people,
Some will come,
Others will go.
Only time will tell.
Regardless though,
True Friends,
Will always be by your side.
Always there,
If not physically,
Than in mind
And in heart.
Never leaving,
No matter what happens,
In the Past
In the Future,
In the Present,
A True Friend,
Will always be there.
Back to top of page.
FRIENDS FIRST
It a broken relationship
and time to teach me that a
shattered heart does mend. It's
not the end of the world if I
don't have a date on Saturday
night, or if I never exchange
class rings. Real love begins
with friendship, and it's
important to take it one day at a
time.
Back to top of page.
WHY
Why is it that some people
fight to stay alive,
and others choose to die
by their own hand?
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 11
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Back to top of page.
REASONS
A reason to live.
It can be a hard thing
For some to find.
For some,
It is very easy
To find.
Easily found.
Just as easily
Torn from us.
This reason,
May be buried deep,
Or, it may be
Right on the surface.
All you have to do,
Is look for it.
But beware!
For what you think
Is the reason,
May not be.
It may be a trick
Of the mind and heart.
Even if you must search
For a long time,
In time,
You will find
Your true reason
To live.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 12
The things that occur
during our lives
We may not always
Understand.
And yet,
We must live
With these events,
No matter how
They may seem
At the time.
Back to top of page.
TRUE FRIENDS
The things that happen to us,
During our lives,
We have no control over them.
Love, hate, happiness, depression,
All these, and many more, Will come and go.
But through all of these,
One will stay by our side.
This one is,
A True Friend.
Back to top of page.
FRIENDS
Friends
Love one another,
Sisters and Brothers
Friends to each other.
Devoted and true.
When the going gets tough,
They will be there for you.
Friends.
Back to top of page.
LIFE'S CHOICES
Why do we do,
Exactly what we do,
In our own special way?
What we do, is our own choice.
But, once that choice is made,
It is set in stone.
Never to be changed.
Before we make a choice,
We should look at the consequences
Of that choice.
You may look at past choices,
And ask yourself
"Why did I make that choice?"
We will never know
Why we do things
The way we do.
Back to top of page.
CARDS
In this life,
We are dealt certain cards
That we may not always like.
Yet, we must live with them.
It matters not what they are,
It only matters how we react to them.
Win or Lose.
It matters not.
Life marches on.
As must we.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 13
It can be everything,
Or it can be nothing.
In some, easy to see.
In others, almost impossible.
Sometimes it can hurt,
Other times it might not.
It bothers some,
Yet not all.
This thing, which is,
Unknown to many.
Is also known
To many more.
It is known, simply as
Loneliness.
Back to top of page.
MIND
Weak, Strong.
Beautiful, Ugly.
Deadly, Helpful.
Useful, Useless.
Nothing, Something.
Your mind.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 14
These things we do,
During our life,
May be forced upon us,
Or chosen by us.
After they are,
Chosen, and done,
They are forever
Written in stone.
Never to be altered,
Or deleted.
We must live
With the results
Of these choices.
Good or Bad.
They can never be
Changed.
Back to top of page.
ESCAPE
Looking out a window,
I sit, and wonder,
What's it like out there?
Amidst all the people, and their friends.
It must get out!
I must smash this window!
Must get out into the world.
Why stay in this room,
Away from all others?
It can be a choice,
Or forced upon us.
As I sit here,
I wonder, what's it like,
To feel the wind?
To hear the laughter of fun?
What's it like,
To run and play
With friends?
Until I break
Down the walls
That are built
Around myself,
I may never know.
Back to top of page.
LOVE
Love is something that can not
� be bought or sold.
Love is standing by someone
� in their worst times.
Love is sharing the joys
� of everyday life.
Love is understanding and
� caring.
Love is something that cannot
� be replaced once it is lost.
Love is for ever
� and ever.
Love carries you through
� the best and worst times.
Love is what holds this world
� together.
Love is what keeps us
� together.
Love is the advanced form of care,
� we have for each other.
Back to top of page.
MEMORIES
To numerous to count,
Good, Bad,
Ugly Beautiful,
Not always forgotten,
Not always remembered.
They are just there.
No matter what you do,
They will always be there.
Memories.
Back to top of page.
CHOICES
The choices we make in life,
Are not so much choices,
As they are decisions.
With choices,
There are one, or more
To choose between.
But, with decisions,
We decide the course
Our lives will take
At this moment.
Our decisions can't
Ever be altered.
A new decision
Can be made.
But, an old one,
Can't be erased.
Back to top of page.
TRUE FRIENDS
Someone to talk to,
Someone who will listen.
Someone who is always there,
Someone that will never leave you.
Not always around physically,
But, in your heart and mind,
They never leave you.
Always there for you,
And will never leave.
True Friends.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 15
The things that happen to us
Are not always fair.
They seldom are.
It simply matters
How we deal with it.
Sometimes, these things,
Can make or break
A person's life.
It simply depends
On how we handle it.
From these experiences
We can emerge shining,
Or allow us to crumble
And fail in life.
Back to top of page.
FATE
As I sit here,
I wonder,
Why has life
Happened this way?
Sometimes it seems,
The best way.
Yet, other times,
It seems the
Worst way.
How each of us
Looks at life,
Depends greatly upon
Our style of life
And the type of day.
Our opinion may
Change from day
To day.
But, deep down,
Our lives can be,
However we want them
To be.
It is our choice,
And our choice
Alone.
No one else says
How to live our life.
We are the one
That decides our
Fate.
Back to top of page.
FOREVER
Names and Places,
Friends and Family,
Many will come,
Many will go.
But all remain
In your Heart
And Memories
Forever.
Back to top of page.
REMEMBER
Our friends in life,
Will come and go
As will we.
Insignificant
In the universal sense.
Only to be remembered
If what we do
Affects the whole world
Or if something else
Such as sudden
death occurs
Whether it is
Accidental or
Intentional,
It will still happen
and affect your
Family and Friends,
If nothing else does,
Then your death,
Will have an
Alarming effect on them.
If nothing else,
They will have
At least one thing
To remember you by.
Back to top of page.
PEOPLE
Friends,
Enemies,
One and
The same.
Ever shifting,
Ever changing,
Never staying
The same.
One day,
A friend.
The next,
An enemy.
We never know,
Day to day,
Who will be
A friend,
Who will be
An enemy.
It's never
the same
Each day.
Back to top of page.
WAY OUT
Looking for a way out,
I took a chance on getting high.
But it didn't change a thing.
There are no perfect people and
��no perfect places,
Even when you are high.
Getting high all the time,
Ends up being a lot of trash.
And the places it takes you,
You don't want to go.
Back to top of page.
PATH IN LIFE
It is our allotment
In life
To follow the path
That has been chosen
For us.
We cannot veer off
Of this path
No matter what we do.
We must live it
To our fullest potential.
When two paths do cross.
Two people, do meet.
What happens with them,
Is up to them.
If they become intertwined,
So much the better.
If they become intertwined,
So much better it is for both.
If they become parallel,
It is still better
Than it ever way
When the two were
Alone.
Back to top of page.
WHY
As we go through life,
We stop and smell the roses.
We do what we do,
Because it is natural.
But, have you wondered,
Why do we like,
Whoever it is,
That we like?
Is it their personality?
Looks? Attitude?
Who knows?
Certainly not us.
Not now,not ever.
But we like, who we like.
No matter what.
It will always be that way.
Now and
Forever.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 16
Going through life
Meeting people
How do we know
When we meet
The right one?
Is it a feeling?
Is it somehow
Told to us?
We will probably
Never know what
It is.
We just know
That when someone
Is the one,
We would do
Anything for them.
That is life
For us though.
Back to top of page.
LOVE
Uncontrollable, Yet welcome.
Unknown, but known.
Feared, but also welcomed.
Even though we may try to avoid it,
It will always find us.
We may not even realize it is there.
At least not to begin with.
But in time we will learn
That it was meant to be.
Whether we want it so,
Or whether we don't,
It's not up to us to decide.
This thing which can be so simple
And yet at the same time so complex
Is known simply as
Love.
Back to top of page.
INNOCENCE
Sitting here,
Watching innocence
At play,
I ask,
What happened to us?
When do we lose
That childish innocence?
What is it that happens
To make us change?
Is it something in our lives
That happens to us?
Is it something
That is said to us?
We will never know.
We change as life
Goes on through time.
But whatever innocence,
We once showed as children,
Is lost.
Lost in the Corridors of Time
That we are ever walking through.
Back to top of page.
HEART
Hard as a rock it can be,
But soft as a kitten's fur.
Black as the blackest pitch,
And fouler then the foulest witch,
Yet also white as virgin snow,
And innocent as a spring fairy.
Twisted as a vine grows
And also straight as an arrow.
Small as a fist to us,
But large as can be to others.
Hidden from many,
Yet exposed to many still.
So complex yet so simple,
So it is
With our
Hearts.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 17
Sitting here yet again,
Doing nothing,
Wandering through halls of life,
Wandering through halls of mind,
Wondering,
Is any of this life ever worth it?
Friends coming, friends going.
No one to back you up.
Every person for themselves,
With no one around.
That is the way of life
For many a person.
They are stuck
In this life they have chosen.
Stuck most often forever.
No way back,
No way forward.
Simply hanging in limbo
With no one around.
The walls that they build,
Will never come down
Unless they let them down
Which will not happen.
Back to top of page.
HATE
Sitting here,
Watching as people go by,
Wondering how we humans,
Can hate one another so much.
In years long past,
We fought so that all
May be equal.
And yet, though we
Won that fight for all,
Hate between people
Is ever present,
And growing as we do.
We do not need to hate
One another as we seem to.
We should care for,
And love one another.
All hate will do,
Is cause wars,
And more pain,
And suffering.
These things are something
We have all seen
Enough of in the world.
The fighting is never
Far hidden.
It is always hiding,
Under our surface.
Waiting for a chance.
A chance to get free
And cause pain
And suffering.
By letting this hate
Run our lives
We let it run the world.
And by doing this,
We cause more hate
Between people that
We do not need.
When we look at a person,
We should not look at
What they are,
But rather,
We should look at
Who they are.
At the inside of them.
Who they are,
Is far more important,
Then what they are.
Looks, hair, clothes,
All mean nothing.
Different cultures mean
Different lifestyles,
Different people.
We should expect
People to be different,
But we should
Never hate them
Because of
Who they are.
Back to top of page.
SHADOW
This one I wrote right after my friend lost her cat. She really cared about the cat and I decided to write this. So here ya'll go.
Sitting so innocently,
No one knowing
What she is plotting.
Sitting watching her pets.
Wondering how they can be
Ever so strange.
Roaming her domain,
From place to place.
Watching this,
Destroying that,
Wishing for this.
Occaisonly going hither
Just for a new thing.
Being helped down,
By those that can help.
Being returned to her domain,
And wanting to regain freedom.
ALways being loved by all,
Coming and going
As she wants.
Sometimes overhead,
Sometimes underfoot.
But still always loved.
Then suddenly gone.
There one day,
Gone the next.
Gone, just like a
Shadow.
Back to top of page.
SITTING HERE
Just something I came up with sitting here being bored......If you've read further up the page, then I'm sure you'll understand what it meanz.
Sitting here,
Wondering as I write,
Why are things
Always the same?
Why is they sky
Always blue?
Why is clean water,
Always clear?
Why do we wear white
To most weddings?
Why usually black
To funerals?
Why is space
Always so black?
And although not important,
I must ask.
Why in all
These writings,
Am I only
Sitting here???
Back to top of page.
HEART 2
I wrote this one time sitting on the couch, just thinking of my ex girlfriend, but reading over it again, it applies not only to her, but also to anyone we care about and love.
To one person,
It may seem
Warm and loving,
To another,
Cold and hard.
While it may appear
Large to some,
In reality it may be
As small as can be.
While caring for one thing,
Another may be found
To care for.
But when you give it,
To anothe rbeing,
It is no longer just yours.
It is someone else's as well.
No more walls to be built,
No more lies and half truths.
All are gone,
To expose the true
Colors and size of
Your heart.
Back to top of page.
STRANGE...
This was originally going to be something to do with guardian spirits or something similar, buuuuut as you will see, it didn't turn out that way. I went to work on it, and it ended up this way. I have noooo clue at all why or how it did, but it did. Anywayz, here ya'll go, and enjoy it.
Small and large
Loud and quiet,
Ever watching,
Ever protecting,
And listening.
Always there,
To comfort,
And soothe.
Tied to
Neither this world,
Nor the next.
But also living
In both of them.
Always ready
To help us,
If we only
Ask for it.
Give it all
Up to the one.
And he will be
With us,
For all time,
As he always
Has been.
This is how
Things work.
This is
God.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 18
Just one i wrote after sitting here thinking for awhile. Just finished a book and wrote this based on some thingz from it, and some from my own mind. So here ya go. As alwayz feel free to post comments and such.
Looking back on the past,
Looking forward to the future,
Looking at the masks
Of the past.
Looking at the faceless masks
Of the future to come.
Wondering why
I remained silent so often,
Rather then voicing my opinion.
Why have I felt the need,
To always hide that which I feel?
Why have I been so scared
To simply be myself?
To drop all the masks of life,
And not worry about the future,
Or the results of my actions,
Would be something to dream of
For all time.
On the outside,
Trying to appeart not to care,
To be able to do anything,
To appear as though
Nothing could penetrate my armor.
Such a hard act to maintain,
When in reality on the inside,
I feel like nothing more,
Then a frightened little child.
Scared of the future,
Not wanting things to change.
Pushing away all who would help
Or that would lend an ear to listen
Or a shoulder to cry on.
Not knowing any other way
To react to the love that
These people give so openly.
Wishing I could change the past,
Change what I have done,
And more importantly,
Change what I haven't done,
What I haven't said.
Wishing there was more time
To do the things
Which haven't been done,
That haven't been said.
Knowing it's not possible,
At this moment.
Wanting so badly to change
The past and the future,
But not able to.
Knowing I must move on,
But realizing on ething will
Always remain.
Now and Forever,
The greatest gift
Of all time.
Love.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 19
Welll, I have no clue on this one. I just wrote it as I was sitting here talking to one of my friendz.
Wandering though the passages of life,
Going one way,
Suddenly changing paths
To go another way,
Not knowing what lays this way,
Not knowing what to expect,
But knowing there is no other way to go.
For a bit,
Feeling as though I am on top of the world,
The next feeling as though nothing is right,
Not knowing how to react,
Not knowing what to say
To calm the storms of each day.
Wishing to change everything
To change the past
As well as the future,
And always the present.
Change them to take away things.
Take away the pain
And the suffering of all.
Change from how a person feels
Like a young child one moment or one day
To a mature person the next.
Not knowing how to deal with
These ever conflicting emotions
And feelings.
Knowing it is not possible.
Not now.
Not ever.
Back to top of page.
FEAR
This is one of the onez I wrote for my Star Wars Club I do online, the theme was "a prey's fear", and herez the result of it.
Running from that which chases,
Running from that which kills.
Hiding because there is
No other option left.
Wishing to not have done,
What has been.
Wishing that this deed,
Had not required,
Such a dire result.
Running becase there is
Simply no option left.
Having a feeling burning,
Deep inside of the soul.
Not realizing what it is,
Not caring anymore,
Knowing only that it
Drives the body
To run more and more.
Knowing to be caught,
Means to be killed.
Not wanting yet
To feel the touch
That death will bring.
Driven on by only
One little thing
That is called simply
Fear.
Back to top of page.
THIS IS ONE THAT I WROTE A LOOOOOOONG TIME AGO.
Near and far,
Far and wide,
Wide and far,
We will search.
For something that
Was always here.
What is this?
You may ask.
But you should
Already know.
It is the one
That was always here
This one thing,
That never left,
Was simply the one,
Jesus Christ.
Back to top of page.
CORRIDORS
Corridors of life,
Large and looming,
Never ending,
Always winding,
Often confusing
To all that
See them.
Always scarrring
All who touch
These corridors.
Whether for good
Or whether for bad,
May not be visible
To the naked eye.
Often the wounds
From these corridors,
Will never leave us
For all our short lives.
We may often think
That these events,
Will never harm us.
How far from
The pain of reality
That actually is.
Every corridor that
We go down,
Whether long,
Or short even,
It will leave
Some form of mark
On us.
Some marks will be
Very hard to earn
And easy to see.
Others may be
Easily earned,
And hardly seen.
All these scars
That we obtain
In our brief lives,
They will never
Leave us.
The pain may dull,
But never quite dissappear
Ever in our life.
Every one of them,
Will deine who
We become as
A person later
In our lives.
No one can
Tell for sure
How it will
Affect us.
Good or bad,
It always will.
Nothing will ever
Change the way
Life.
Back to top of page.
TIME
Walking through life,
Watching the good,
And the bad,
Knowing they will
Come to us,
No matter where
We choose to hide,
In this pitiful
Existance we endure.
We endure because
We must do so.
Because there is
No other choice
For us in life.
Some may choose
To end this
Pitiful existance
Of their life.
Others choose to
Live on their life.
To each person
A different path
Will they choose
In this life.
Some may be
For only a
Short while.
Others may
Live long and
Also live well.
It varies from
Person to person.
With us knowing
Not when we
Shall expire.
Our time here,
On this planet,
Is but a
Fleeting moment
In the universe.
Until our time
On this plane
Is complete
We can do naught
But speculate at that
Which awaits us.
Once we arrive
On the next plane,
We shall see
What finally happens,
Until then we can
Only be satisfied
With our hopes
And our dreams
Of what is
To come next
After this life.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 20
Being born into this world,
Thrust harshly from our warm home,
Which we have known for all our life,
Into this cruel and unusual place.
Being reared by sometimes harsh,
Othertimes very lax parents.
Growing up, they may seem to be
The greatest persons you shall ever know.
You may say you hate them at one point,
But as time will go on,
You shall realize you were wrong.
You will come to forget the past
And move on to the better in life.
Life will go on and on for our time.
Sometimes it will seem not possible to go higher,
Other times things will never look lower.
Through all these joys and hardships,
There are very few who will never leave.
One will always be with us.
Seen and unseen, but ever watching.
After some time on this ride,
Things in life will seem to smooth,
Things will be ever up and down in life,
But rarely as bad as in previous years.
Going forward in life, living happily,
All coming crashing down in one instant,
With one little message from someone.
Whether it be blood or from ties stronger yet,
Finding out that over the time of life,
Regardless of the pastm we have grown to care
For certain people more than we thought possible.
All the hurt and pain we accuse them of
Shall pale in comparison to all the help
That they have provided for us in the past.
At these fleeting moments in our lives,
We realize how much a person is worth to us.
Once gone, they may be gone but also never gone.
The pain of loss will never be gone from our hearts.
It shall only grow less painful as time marches forward.
But even as we go on our path in life,
There shall always be one who shall never leave us.
We may seem to walk away from Him in our life,
But it matters not since we are never completely alone.
Realizing and accepting this is easier for some.
For others it can be done only with some pain.
Pain that we cause to ourselves in life.
Surrendering our all, may not be the easiest for some.
The fear of losing our identity shall always scare some.
Others know that this is far from the truth of it.
Time willt ell and effect each person in their own way.
Through all of this, only one will be fauthful to us.
Only one has the power to see us through it all.
This one, is known to many of us by many names.
In this life, we will never see this one's face as it is.
We can only dream at what glory it will hold.
When our time on this plane is done and our time up,
We will see this face and finally realize many things.
One such thing is that we should mourn not.
For in the next world, we shall see those closest
To our hearts, yet again in a new light.
Never to be taken from us ever again.
Back to top of page.
Choices
Going through life, wandering all ways,
Never knowing in which way life will go.
Wishing and hoping for one thing,
Knowing that however unlikely,
It would be the greatest feeling possible,
Knowing also, that it is not up to us,
But rahter up to the man upstairs,
He gives us many chances in this life,
Many chances and ways to be happy.
How many of these we choose to grasp,
And how many others we let slip away.
Or simply choose not to see in life.
Many times these things we don't see,
Will simply pass us by, never to be seen again.
Of we choose to grasp these things,
Our lives may be changed right away,
Or it may take many years to see.
Each one varies in how it affects us.
But we shall never know
That which we have missed,
We shall never know the joys
Of what we missed in life,
But yet on the opposite of the coin of life
We shall also never know the pain,
We shall never know the sorrow
That these experiences would have
Provided for us to see and feel.
Good, and bad, we will never know
What we have missed in life,
Until our time on this plane is done,
ANd even then we may not know.
Chances come and chances go,
All throughout our lives on this plane.
What happens will happen to us,
We can never change this in time.
It is, as always, set in the stone of life.
Back to top of page.
CAULDRON
Well people.........this is one I wrote after finding out one of my friends had died from cancer. That was last Tuesday, then the other day found out someone I had known my entire life had shot two of her kids while they slept, so it is fitting in both cases. Anyways, without further ado, here you go.
Stirring the cauldron of life,
Thinking that which we do
Affects none but ourselves.
Not yet realizing what it will do
To those others that will be here.
To those who are in our life.
Sometimes it will be good,
Others it will be disastrous
Beyond our scope of seeing.
Whether it be immediately,
Or whether it takes years,
To manifest itself into a
Reality from our dreams.
Good or bad, we can see
Nothing of the future
Until it overtakes us,
And it becomes the present,
And then in time, the past.
This is what it means,
To stir the cauldron.
The cauldron of life.
-LRP 8/19/02
Back to top of page.
TIME 2
Weeeeeeellllllll.........this one I'm not really sure about. I was sitting at work, and words started racing through my head. This is the result of that . Rather scary if you ask me. But no one did.......hehe, anyways, as I'm reading it, I think it's a combination of things I've heard at times from one place or another, and the other part is just what I've made up, so without further annoyances by yours truly, here you go.
Through many hardships in life,
We will fight and struggle past.
Some will be seen as so very small
To those that know us no.
Others which are small in our hearts,
Will be larger than the void of time
To those that only know what they see.
To each of us in this life,
Each experience will seem different.
They may be the same to the end,
Down to the smallest grain of sand,
But when looked at in the after,
No two will ever be the same.
Even the same person may view
The same scene of sand,
But rarely will they see it,
In the same light as before.
For if we all viewed
The scene before us as the same,
There would be no change in life.
Even if we saw the view the same,
We ourselves, and not another creature,
If we saw all the same,
At all times in our life,
Then naught would change
But time itself.
For time is ever changing,
Ever moving forward,
Never to be reclaimed by us,
Never to be stopped for any...
Peace...War...Love...Hate...
It stops not for these...
Life...Death...Loneliness...Friendship...
It slows nor stops for these either.
It is an instoppable giant,
Which me must accept,
For we can do naught
Against time.
Not now,
Not ever.
Back to top of page.
LIFE 3
Amazing how many of these I name Life. Oh well. It fits. As some of you have known, things have been going wierd lately. Reality is biting royally, but just have to deal with it. Since I never have been one that's very good at expressing himself, I use my writing to do it, and then put them here . So here you go.
Going through life,
Experiencing one thing,
After another,
Sometimes being similar,
Rarely the exact same
Throughout our lives.
But through them all,
There should always be
Some things that we feel
Should be buried.
And forgotten forever.
But no matter how much
We may want this,
It shall never be.
For our feelings
Will be ever present,
Ever waiting for a chance.
A chance to escape.
But we should be wary
For when they do ecape,
And escape they shall,
They shall return,
And be all the harder
For us to control.
We can try forever
To control these things,
But we will ever fail.
For to be human,
Means to feel.
This is the way of life.
But when something
That is bad happens,
It all shall rush back
More powerful than ever.
There be naught for us
To do about it ever.
At every experience,
It shall all come back
In a rush to us...
Worse than ever before.
Such is life.
Back to top of page.
FEAR 2
Sitting around this morning, and this one came to me, almost immediately after the other one did. Not sure why I'm even posting these.
It is said that
We should fear not.
But for some of us,
Many more than are known,
Fear is a major part
Of many of our lives.
We know no other way.
To fear is t obe ourselves.
Whether it be something
That is common to many folk,
Or something else which is
Unknown to all on this world
But ourselves and no others,
They are all still fears
That we will have in life
As long as we live.
We shall never be free.
Free of
Fears.
Back to top of page.
PAST LOVE
Well........to be honest, I don't know where this one came from. I must have wrote it though since it was in my notebook I keep all these in. So yeah......interpret it as you will since I have no clue on it.
Coming back from the grave,
To haunt us yet again,
Coming from the corners of our mind,
Slammed yet again to the very front
What once we thought may be dead,
We now find to be so much alive.
How we feel shall never be truly gone.
It may lay dormant for a long time,
Waiting for us to see it hiding there.
Waiting for us to bring it to the light.
Bring it to the fore rather than hide it.
The sooner that we bring it to light,
The sooner we shall be so much
Better and happier with ourselves.
Rather than it was with with ourself.
Many feelings we may think of,
As things that are better left in the dark,
But for us to leave any there,
Means for us to kill it forever.
This is how we shall always live.
This is life.
This is love.
Back to top of page.
FACT OF LIFE
Well, this one I sorta know whats up with it. I was at a friends, and started writing for some reason, heres the results. That is all. Enjoy.
Watching the many faces of the past,
Go marching through the paths of our minds,
We must always realize one small thing,
This small thing is so simple to grasp,
But at the same time the most difficult,
This little thing is the one simple fact that
Once we error,. things will never be the same.
No matter how hard we shall try
To undo these errors we shall make,
They will never be the same in life.
We may manage to change the error
Or even in the end fix it completely.
But even amidst all of this,
The one fact that is so simple,
Shall still remain, never to be changed.
The fact that things will never
Be the same for us in our life.
Whether for better or for worse,
We shall know not.
Til the proper time arrives here.
Such is Life.
Back to top of page.
THING
Heh, this one is easy to figure out. It is what has been happening and how I've been feeling, for those of you that know how I use words, you will understand. As well as those who themselves use words in different ways.
Walking down the street,
Seeing people that are unknown,
That you will never know,
That you will speak not to.
Then suddenly, for no reason,
Feeling a viper from your past,
Lash out at them in attack,
One...and another...and again,
All the hatred from your past,
Suddenly lashing out at all.
Desperately you try to regain control,
Knowing only that you must.
You must regain control!!
Finally managing to do it,
You know it come come again...
And then yet again...
There is naught you can do,
But try to control this...
Thing.
Back to top of page.
UNKNOWN FEELING
Well, with this one it is so fitting. So true. Not sure what to really say about it, so I won't say anything. Enjoy.
Watching people n the world
Seeing their happiness and joy,
Wishing i was possible...
Knowing it's not, not ever.
Such things were not meant
To be. Not ever.
This is the life of many of us.
The curse we must deal with.
The curse of our lives.
So often wishing it over.
Wishing it would all end.
End and take the pain.
Take the sorrow forever.
Allow it never to return.
Watching from my cell...
Out the window of it...
The happiness...
The joy...
I'll never have.
Back to top of page.
DEATH
Hmm....well, I'll just let this one speak for itself. So yeah....anyways.....
...the hunter of all
...the last great journey
...that which claims all
...we can hide naught from
...we can do nothing about
...known by many names
...ever present with us
...never arriving soon enough.
...Death.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 21
Wrote one morning while sitting at church thinking.
Wandering through life,
Looking always for
That which is missing.
Searching both near
And also far away,
For what though,
We know not.
Searching until we find
What we look for,
Finally realizing
It was with us,
From the beginning.
And even at times,
Carries us with it.
God.
Back to top of page.
SEARCHING
Just wrote while I was sitting at church one morning. Go figure.
Why in our life,
Must we search
Forever and ever?
For what though,
We will know not
Till we find it,
And even then
We may realize not
What has been found.
Never knowing that
Even if we ignore it,
It will always
Remain with us.
Always love us.
For this is the way.
The way
Of God.
Back to top of page.
PICTURE OF LIFE
Looking out the window
At the scene that has been
Set before us to see.
Changing naught in life
And yet also it does
Change all in life.
Whether right away
Or even down the road,
It will have forever
Changed us in some way.
Small, large.
It matters not,
For the change is there,
Whenever we see
A new view.
A new picture
Of life.
Back to top of page.
QUESTIONS
Going through life,
Wondering what it is
That we search for.
Thinking we know,
Then in one moment
Realizing the truth.
That which is being
Searched for by us,
Is not known
To us.
We may see it
In many others,
Without realizing it.
Not knowing
What to call it.
What to do.
Being flooded
By many questions.
Not even knowing
How to find
These many answers.
Wondering at the why.
At the complexity
Of these things.
Knowing not to ask
Others for help.
Realizing, in time,
That there are
No answers.
Only endless
Questions.
Back to top of page.
WANDERING
Going on and on
In this life,
Never going any
One specific way,
Wandering
Back and forth
From place to place.
Never knowing where
To be going.
Running into walls,
Seeing open doors,
Going through them.
Never ending cycle.
Going on in life.
On and on.
Back to top of page.
ALONE
Well........don't ask. Just started thinking (I do that alot ya notice?) and here is the result.......
Coming and going,
Sometimes with the friends
Quite often simply alone.
Always watching everyone.
Not sure what to do,
Not sure what to say,
Or even how to talk.
Watching as all others
Laugh and live on.
Live on and enjoy.
Wondering whether it will ever
Be possible for ourself.
Possible to be so happy.
To have human contact
Without the fear.
The fear of being laughed at.
Of not belonging...not fitting in.
Doubting it ever possible.
Knowing the fears shall
Always remain within us.
Wanting just to run.
From all these things.
Each as they arise.
Fleeing through the darkness.
From one...to another...
Finding solace for a time,
In our fears...
That which keeps us alone.
Wanting them forever gone,
But also needing them to live.
Watching the others...
Willing to do anything...
Anything at all...
Just to fit in...
To be accepted...
To belong for once...
Doubting it possible...
Always in the fish bowel...
Being watched by all...
Always alone...
Back to top of page.
SEARCHING
Searching through life,
Reading through all things,
Some, not deep enough
Others entirely to deep.
Asking to much in life,
Analyzing to much...to often.
Knowing half these questions
Have no answers
While the other half,
The supplied answer,
That has been found,
Is entirely to simple
To be possible.
Wishing for things,
All things.
To have a logical answer
Not something that must be
Believed with child like faith.
Which for many of us
Can not exist.
Back to top of page.
WAITING
Going through life,
Dealing with this,
Dealing with that.
Thinking that this one thing,
Is dead ... been dealt with,
Not thinking of it,
Letting it go for time,
Then one day
Finding the harsh truth.
THar our problem
Has never left us.
It has always
Been with us.
It always will be.
Just lying dormant.
Waiting to awaken.
Back to top of page.
BLACKNESS
Watching the snow,
Coming down again,
Watching it blanket all
The world over.
Looking so fresh to see,
Seeming as a virgin land.
Never touched, never spoiled
By our hands. By life.
Wishing we could be as this,
Rather then as the blackness
Which has engulfed us.
Making us car not
For life in its forms.
Wishing death would come.
Hopefully soon. Very soon.
End all the blackness.
Back to top of page.
THE FOG
Looking through the fog,
Just as looking through life,
Being able to see
Only so close to you,
Feeling, groping, wishing,
Your way through it all.
Trying to look for it,
But not knowing it,
Searching for a way,
Needing to find it,
Knowing help is needed,
But not yet knowing
Who to ask...
What to ask...
To get through
The fog.
Back to top of page.
FALLING
All of us creatures,
Going through life,
Going over the falls,
All of us do so.
Some shall survive,
Others shall not.
THey might die,
From the fall,
From the smash
Upon the rocks.
Some only fall
A short time.
Others shall for
For an eternity.
Each shall be different.
As we fall,
Some will fall
CLose to others.
Many others though,
Shall fall away,
To fall by themselves.
To endure the crashes
On their own.
Simply because no one,
Neither human nor other,
Can do naught
To stop the falling.
Back to top of page.
FINGERS
Watching Death overcome life,
The fingers of our sins,
Memories not yet released.
Grabbing us harshly,
Never for us to release.
Fingers of the past,
Squeezing the life from us.
Never for us to regain.
Others may, we know not.
Once gone, never seen again,
In this life or the next.
Squeezing us dry.
Of our feelings,
Of our life.
Back to top of page.
NUMBER 22
Searching through life,
Near and far
Inside and outside,
Searching all over,
Without knowing
What it is
That we seek.
Not knowing how
To walk the path,
Knowing help is always
Needed in life.
More so on a walk.
Knowing not how to
Lower the walls,
Leave the cell,
And ask for help.
Back to top of page.
WANDERING
Wandering from
Place to place,
Not sure whether,
Coming or going,
Here or there,
Wanting one thing,
Yet knowing,
It is not possible.
Wishing to change
Every little thing,
Take away every
Little hurt in life.
Wishing to help more.
More than I,
Or any mortal
Ever could.
Knowing that which
I did manage to do,
Might help.
Knowing also that
It may also harm,
But hoping the former
Will be true,
Always.
Back to top of page.
FOREVER ASKING
Sitting watching others,
Wondering the whys,
Wondering the hows,
Wishing to know
SOme form of answer
To all questions
That come forward.
Knowing time will tell
SOme of these secrets.
Others shall remain
Forever in the mists.
No way to know,
Which will be answered,
Which will be left
For later in time,
Or even never.
We can only wait.
Wait and hope
For the answers
To many questions.
Questions, to many
Remaining unanswered
Forever.
Back to top of page.
FATE
Some things good will happen,
Many bad things shall happen.
Both have happened in the past,
Both shall happen in the future.
Nothing can change either.
We can argue with it,
We will fight it,
As is our nature to do.
Fight it forever and ever,
Yet it is futile to do so.
We shall only lose.
Others must learn their lessons.
We must do the same always.
If we do not do this,
Then it shall deal harshly.
For its judgement has no limit.
Its patience never ends
When dealing out our paths.
This shall always govern our lives
And how they are lived.
Fate.
Back to top of page.
PERSONAL HELL
Going through life,
Experiencing many things,
Some good, others horrifying,
Worse and worse they get.
Going up higher in the air,
Slamming lower than before,
Repeating this over forever.
Thinking to go no lower,
Trying to raise up,
Only to find yourself
Yet lower still.
Seeing someone above you,
Walking the edge above,
Lowering an escape,
Offering to help,
And being slammed out.
Uncontrollably pushed away,
Walls shall return,
Past thoughts shall return,
And we shall hide.
Hide once again
From our consuming fears,
That seek to smother us.
They are ever so known
But as well feared
Throughout our life.
Unavoidable as ever.
We shall want help,
Shall yearn for it,
At our very core.
We shall want to ask,
But shall not be able to.
We will wander for quite a time.
Seeking the help we so desperately yearn.
Help that will help us escape.
Escape from our own
Personal
Hell.
Back to top of page.
REVENGE
Sitting doing nothing,
Yet always busy,
Tunning from place to place,
Wanting to escape,
All that awaits you,
Deep withihn the chasm.
Knowing it is futile.
In the end of your moment,
That fleeting moment of peace,
That which you fear,
Shall in time,
More then overtake you.
It shall completely engulf
Your entire being to the core,
And yet beyond that.
When it does so,
You shall know
Nothing that exists,
Only the feelings which arrive
Along with all you fear.
Taking control of you,
Without even being realized.
Reshaping you for a time,
Into your own nightmare,
Which shall be glimpsed
Only in fleeting moments.
Bringing back all.
All which have hurt you.
All whome have wronged you.
wanting to do harm back to them.
Wanting to repay all the wrongs.
Seeing one face after another.
Seeing the fool that you were,
In doing nothing when you could.
Wanting to change it all.
Seeing each face over
And over again in moments.
Seeing all and none of them,
Wanting to repay all.
To destroy those.
Those that have wronged you.
Seeing all the faces of the past,
In one fleeting moment.
Realizing what you missed,
What should have been done,
And then acting on it.
Some to attack,
To hurt, to revenge.
Never knowing what happens,
Except that in the end,
As the blood runs freely,
That a moment of peace
Has finally arrived for you.
A brief respite.
Until the return of your fears
That shall come to life.
That shall haunt us
Forever and ever.
Back to top of page.
THE BLOOD
Running down the flesh,
Feeling as it slowly enters,
With ever so little resistance,
Feeling as it finally breaks in,
Feeling the flesh give way,
Feeling the warm life force,
Running free over your skin,
Sometimes slowly oozing out,
Other times gushing out in
Uncontrollably waves repeatedly.
Tasting it as it comes off your hand.
Feeling it slowly slide down the throat.
Nothing shall ever compare
To this exquisite feeling.
This is what it is to know the friend.
The one constant we can never
Live without unless we die.
This is The Blood.
Back to top of page.
THE ABYSS
Coming and going in life,
Everything and nothing,
Friends and family,
Enemies and acquaintances,
Any and all feelings
You can experience.
All in a tumble in life,
Never fully sorted
Or in any form of sanity.
First one shall come,
Then just like the arrival,
Gone in a single heartbeat.
Waiting for the next arrival.
Wondering if it shall be
This one to destroy you
To be the final push
Into the chasm which
We precariously balance over.
To begin the fall
Which we all await.
Knowing or not knowing.
It matters not.
In the end
Of these things we live,
We shall all,
Without the exception of one,
Fall into the silent clutch
Of the abyss.
Back to top of page.
EVER ALONE
Sitting in a crowd of people,
Watching all that exists
Around you in the crowd,
Seeing the surface of all,
Wondering at the beneath,
Wondering at the unknown.
Seeing some of those around,
Some filled with peace,
Some with anger or fear,
All the cause of the uknown,
Which is known to all
In some form,
But with no two forms
Ever being the same for any.
Ever wondering at the cause
Of all that which we feel.
Sitting in the crowd of people.
Wishing to understand the all.
Seeking for answers which
Shall never come to you
As long as they are searched for.
Wishing for some way to escape.
To escape the crowd
That shall live forever.
Wanting out of the crowd,
Which lives within our mind.
Always in the crowd,
Yet never with anyone.
Always alone.
Back to top of page.
INNOCENCE LOST
Seeing the youth of our world,
Playing at their games,
Going about their beginning lives,
Seeing their innocence reflected
In their faces...their laughter...
In all they do and make.
Wondering what happens to it.
What makes us lose that.
To become what we become.
As times goes on and we grow.
Some remain as happy as babes,
Although, few and far between
Are such type persons.
Most of us lose our innocence.
This is something which,
As often as we may wish,
Shall never be regained.
We shall always wonder
What happened to that,
Which we lost long ago.
Never knowing is our life.
Ever wanting to know
What has happened to
The innocence lost.
Back to top of page.
HIDING
Looking out from between the bars,
Seeing those whome expose themselves.
Noticing how they bare their soul
To those who are around them,
With nothing to hide from others.
Watching and wondering how it is done.
How can one be so open with another,
To do so would horribly expose the self.
Lay bare the past which is hidden.
Allowing someone, anyone at all,
To get closer to you,
Shall end in disaster for all.
Whether you push all away from you,
Or if they find the true you,
And run as so many before have,
Disaster and endings will arrive.
Learning through that pain,
That ever present feeling we all know,
That to remain alone,
Alone in the cell of our mind,
With all we create and imagine,
With all the places where we escape to,
Is oft preferable to the reality
Of the nakedness and frailty
Of life around us.
Back to top of page.
THE FACES
Running from place to place,
Watching everything going on,
Seeing faces in a blur,
As they rush past you.
Slipping into the shadows.
To numerous ever to count.
Seeing looks of wonder
On some as they pass,
Looks of absolute terror
On even more faces.
For those that see
The reality of what
On is capable of in life,
There is no greater terror.
For those whom look
On in wonder at you,
They seek answers to us.
They may seek understanding,
Others look for forgiveness,
But they shall find no entry.
For we have sealed ourselves.
Sealed ourselves from the world
Which has caused so much pain.
To let anyone to see inside
Is to cause our destruction.
To end all that we know.
This is why the walls remain.
Protection against those prying eyes,
That would break us,
And hasten the end.
Back to top of page.
CAGES
Looking through the bars
Of our cage we live within,
Seeing many more cages,
Row upon row,
Numbering as endless as time.
Seeing people you know,
People from the past,
Next to those the unknown,
All within each of their own.
Seeing some with an open door,
Allowing all to enter and see.
Yet also able to be closed
From those without for a time.
Noting still many more,
WIth no hole, no entrance,
Keeping all without.
ALlowing only what you wish seen,
To be viewed by those without.
Hiding ever so much more,
Than they could ever see.
More then they could understand.
Afraid to look at your door.
Scared of what you shall see.
Open...Closed...It matters not.
All have weaknesses.
Such is our life.
Our mind.
Back to top of page.
REALITY
Looking at your hand,
Noting the details of it.
Learning every line on it,
Every scar, every curve.
Committing it all to your memory.
But then, in just a moment,
Looking beyond the hand,
Slowly the hand unfocuses,
And you see something else,
This is the same as life.
To understand anything of it,
You must look beyond
That which can be seen.
You must see the behind.
ALl that lies behind our face.
You must see the real
Reality.
Back to top of page.
DON'T BELONG
Staring at those around,
Seeing the faces of them,
And slowly over time,
Realizing you don't belong.
You are to different.
Returning to your past.
Noting all they are and do,
Seeing the looks they give.
Realizing you don't belong.
Going back and forth,
Always seeking answers.
Always learning the unusual.
Realizing you don't belong.
Trying to do right,
To belong some place,
To not be an outcast.
Realizing it will never happen.
Realizing you don't belong.
Back to top of page.
DARKNESS
Walking through the crowd,
Seeing the colors of them,
Noting the masks we wear.
Not knowing what is hidden
Not wanting to know at times.
Knowing it is not your place,
To know these things,
Nor to even belong
In this sea of colors.
Eventually fading,
Into the shadows.
Back into the comforting
Embrace of Darkness.
Back to top of page.
PAIN BY PAIN
Escape your pain by pain.
Something many shall never know.
They will never know
The pains that happen in life.
Living life happy as can be.
Not understanding another's life.
Not bothering to even try.
Others knowing this all to well.
Living a life of pain,
Physical, mental, either will do.
They are both pain for us,
That are hestitant to ever leave.
Thus we cause ourselves,
More and more minor pain.
Add all the minor pains together,
And in time, as we all want,
You will escape your pain by pain.
Back to top of page.
HOME
By what right do I exist?
By what right do I come?
knowing of others feelings,
Of others reactions to one,
Trying to know what is right.
Wanting to knwo what to do.
Not wanting to leave,
Not wanting to fade into the past.
Having walked past the God.
Having walked past the Goddess.
Having left that life,
Yet now searching for answers,
For something to believe in.
Not knowing what to think.
Seeing on one hand,
Proof of the Crone,
Proof of the Horned One.
Knowing that hand
Is ever shunned by many
Because of many misunderstandings.
Looking at the other hand,
And seeing nothing there.
Being told by many
That something is there.
That I just do not accept it.
Knowing that to do so,
To blindly accept
That which is not seen,
Would shatter all that is known.
Shatter who I am.
Wondering if it is not better
To be shunned.
To be pushed away by all.
To go somehwere else,
Or perhaps fade into the shadows.
Return to the past.
But also knowing
That acceptance will not come,
Even in the past.
Shunned by both.
The past and the present.
Not knowing which path to take.
Honestly not caring at times.
Just looking for a place
With friends and family.
A place to call home.
Back to top of page.
THE BOX
Seeing many faces at a time,
Not knowing who many are
Yet wanting to remember,
Desperate to remember things.
To remember to control your mind,
To lock yourself inside.
To stay there forever.
This way nothing shall happen.
You will stay in control.
not give in to your many thoughts.
Thoughts that tell you
Over and over without rest,
To lash out at all.
To see those faces of the past,
Never leaving you,
Ever mocking you.
For those things you did not do.
Wanting you to see them again,
To react as you wished.
Having done it before.
Being scared of what can happen.
What will happen if you come out.
Never wanting it out.
Knowing to keep locked forever
The Box.
Back to top of page.
PAINTING
Looking at the things around,
Hearing the sounds of things,
A small rustle of leaves,
The chirping of the beasts,
The beauty of the sky,
The way the painting holds.
Everything has its place.
Somewhere to fit perfectly.
Wishing this scene
Could forever remain.
The simple beauty of nature.
The original way of life,
Before we became slaves.
Slaves to our lives.
To the worldy posessions
Which will pass away.
Yet this simple painting
Will forever remain
In my heart and mind.
Back to top of page.
WASTELAND
Watching the young of our species,
Seeing how they act in life.
Sometimes angry, often thrilled
At the things they do.
Realizing how they act
Is a reflection of others.
Of those that raise them.
But in a more open way.
Young have not learned
To hide things from others.
They have not learned,
Nor sould any wish it,
The harshness of life.
Some of these do so.
They find how harsh
This sad world is.
For those, many mourn.
Thrust into reality,
Away from their world.
We should never do this.
We should instead
Protect our young
From the wasteland we call
Life.
Back to top of page.
THE DOOR
Looking out the door of life,
Seeing all that happens out there,
The children at play,
The birds never ceasing their song,
Then looking in the door,
To that which is hidden,
From most others outside.
Seeing the misery and pain.
Sensing more to life than this.
Being told and hearing more of it.
Knowing help shall be required,
To set foot outside the door,
To join the children in play,
To see and not only hear the birds,
To leave the past,
And walk into the future.
Walk into life.
Back to top of page.
MASKS WE WEAR
Faces near, faces far away,
Able to see only the surface,
Rarely behind the masks.
Seeing only that which
They want you to see.
Reality is a fleeting thing,
Often replaced by our lies,
That we hide behind.
Until we are so deeply entrenched
That escape is impossible.
That others see our lies
As the reality of us.
Few are able to
Or ever will want to,
See behind the lies.
See behind the masks.
Convincing to most,
Because they know no other.
Without searching deeply,
The surface we wear
Will be taken as real.
Ever convicing.
Ever lieing.
Ever our masters.
The masks we wear.
Back to top of page.
DARKNESS
Sitting in the dark,
Seeing the shadows
Of the darkness.
Running in and out
Of the normal sight.
Blacker than black.
Darker then the darkest pitch.
Our minds ever similar,
Just darkness, nothing more.
Comforting us always,
Yet also our bane,
Since we have no control.
Lash out at others,
Hurt, maim, kill.
All our mind can do.
Never able to shut it in.
The door ever open.
When it wants to,
Darkness will come out.
Do what it wants
As you, and it, know.
You have no control
Over yourself.
Never ending fight
To control the Darkness.
Which controls you
Back to top of page.
THE BLADE
Feeling a blade under the skin
After running along it,
The slight resistance before the end.
Before it actually enters in.
The blood slowly oozes out,
Push and more of the nectar
Shall be revealed to you.
The taste is beyond words.
Feel it come out and run over the hands,
Down the arm to the lowest point.
Stopping it to enjoy the taste.
Nothing compares to it.
Nothing ever will be close.
Withdrawing the balde,
Skin clinging to it,
Covered with the juice,
Cleaning it with your mouth,
Feeling the razor edge,
The exquisiste feeling
As it runs over the skin
The one tool that provides protection.
As well as comfort,
As well as juices that are needed
To comfort
Back to top of page.
THE PATH
Walking down paths in life,
Coming to a fork in a road,
Seeming like all others before,
Both paths looking the same,
Leading to the same place,
But upon taking one path,
Going for some time,
Then stumbling across the beginning,
Realizing you must start over.
Walk the paths again,
But after taking the one path,
Upon starting again.
Noticing small differences,
You never noticed before.
Winding all over the life,
These paths ever go.
Never ending for us.
A maze we must solve.
A labrynth if you would,
Dangers untold by all.
Never ending in our life.
We must only choose
The path to take.
Back to top of page.
ETERNAL SLEEP
Always there, but never seen,
Always comforting, but not felt.
Peering at you,
Waiting for your embrace
For when you choose to go there.
It shall wait eons,
Yet when you rest finally,
All shall be gone from mind.
Some laugh, some cry.
It does not matter.
In time we shall all share.
We have only to decide
When we shall follow
Those before us.
To the peace they know.
In time having dreamless rest,
In the Eternal Sleep.
Back to top of page.
EYES
Going through life.
Seeing life go by,
Seeing it through another's eyes.
Watching what you do.
From another's eyes.
To some it may sound
As though a joke.
As though this thing
That I speak of
Could never happen.
And yet for so many
This is our life.
Either part or whole.
Seeing what you do
Through another's eyes.
Or perhaps from your own,
Even if not your own.
Some may enjoy it.
And welcome it always.
For yet others of us,
It is terrifying.
Being torn from your body.
From all you know.
To watch that which you do.
Good or bad.
Seeing it all
Through your eyes
But not your eyes.
Back to top of page.
CONTROL
Watching those around here,
Seeing them, but not caring.
Hearing them, but not seeing.
Feeling them, but not hearing.
Hearing, seeing, feeling.
One small thing.
Nothing ot most.
Something to one.
Something that rubs raw.
The festering sore,
Which lies in wait,
For the perfect time
To be opened
And harm someone.
When rubbed raw,
Nothing matters to you.
Wanting to let it go.
To just give in.
To start the swinging.
The smashing of all.
To feel the freedom
That comes with release.
And yet, at the same time,
Knowing that to do so,
Will be worse than
Can ever be known.
The feelings that shall return...
Fear...Hatred...
Exhilaration...Confusion...
Welcoming it all.
Yet always fearing it all.
Fearing the inevitable end
Of the control
Which shall arrive
To soon.
Back to top of page.
CRYING OUT
A fight across the heavens,
An unending battle for all,
between man and the gods.
A god looks down on man,
A man looks up to the gods,
"Why have you left?"
Crying out endlessly.
A god hears a man,
A man hears the gods,
"I never left you,
I merely followed your path
Through darkness and pain.
Through light and happiness."
A god calls to a man,
A man calls to a god,
Neither hearing the other,
Endlessly crying out.
Back to top of page.
REFLECTING
Staring at the pool in front of you,
Seeing yourself looking back,
Every feature revealed to the eye,
Every blemish, lie, deceipt ever.
Bared for all to see all.
Horrified by what is seen.
Yet unable to avert your eyes.
The small things you buried,
Buried forever in our minds we thought,
The larger major things never forgotten,
All revealed to you yet again.
Unable to remember some,
Others unable to forget.
Staring at the reflection of the pool.
Staring at your own reflection.
Ever there waiting for you,
Waiting for your acceptance
Of yourself and all you have done.
Reflecting you.
Back to top of page.
ONE SMALL STEP
Watching those around,
Hearing the words unsaid,
Seeing the looks ungiven,
Listening to the songs sung,
The words as a blade,
Piercing into the shadows
Where no spoken word will go.
Humanity is weak,
Weak in spirit,
Weak in faith,
Weak in all things.
Trying to succeed in life,
We shall only fall,
Ending lower than before.
In the end of it all,
After going no lower,
Being unable to endure more,
From the darkness.
Your voice shall cry out.
Not knowing to whom it is
That you cry out to.
Being lifted from the darkness,
Sometimes beat upon the walls,
Sometimes wanting to break free,
And thus falling again,
Yet the hands remain to help.
Shying from those who
Try always to help.
Running from all they offer.
Not knowing where to go,
Just running away from it all.
Finding pits and peaks,
Finding light and darkness.
All while running away.
Thousands of steps away,
Miles upon miles we walk,
For days we run.
Yet to only take one step back,
Walk backwards in our path,
Only one small step,
Yet for many the hardest one.
Upon doing so,
Feeling release from pain,
From misery, from suffering.
Knowing to give it all up.
Falling into comforting arms,
That shall always support you,
Fall back into the arms,
Of the God.
Back to top of page.
TAINTED
Seeing the shapes around,
The glowing aura,
Which surrounds most,
The good which emanates
From within their hearts,
Glowing outward, expanding,
Filling the corners,
Sending the darkness away.
Yet within this place of light,
Here and there always,
A bit of darkness remains,
Fighting the encroaching light.
Wanting to win the struggle.
Wanting to lose the struggle,
The darkness diminishes,
Expanding again later,
Back and forth,
Never ending, always fighting.
All will stay the same.
All will be tainted.
Back to top of page.
WHYS
Why live? Why die?
Why go? Why stay?
Why love? Why hate?
Why this? Why that?
Why doubt? Why believe?
Why? Why not?
Back to top of page.
STUCK
Friends come and go,
Enemies come and go,
Some of each of these,
Staying a brief moment,
Others staying longer,
No matter how long,
All remain in your heart,
Long after they are gone.
Ever searching for a new friend.
Finding the God in time.
Realizing this one friend
Will always remain with you,
You leave, he follows.
Once found, he will never leave.
You may wish and hop so,
But to no avail.
You are stuck with them.
Back to top of page.
CHOOSING
Listening to the words sung,
The expressions often made,
Of joy and exhilaration,
Watching it while not knowing it.
Never sure if you want to,
Drawn ever closer to it,
Yet also repelled by what it means.
To give up yourself, your being,
Never sure which is better,
To retain yourself and being.
Retain all you know and are,
Or give it all up for nothing.
Lose yourself, lose your being.
Become something that scares,
That you do not know,
Always wondering which is better,
To remain, to change.
Both frighten you.
You abhor both.
Yet know a choice
Must be made.
One or the other.
Choose.
Back to top of page.
CLOUDS
Watching clouds rolling by,
Seeing one shape in it,
Then looking again at it,
From a different angle.
Or perhaps even the same.
Yet seeing something new.
Another person, another view.
Or even perhaps the same.
Yet never seeing the same.
Similarities perhaps, but no more.
Ever these clouds hiding,
Some side of them.
How similar they are to us.
A person may look at us.
Seeing one thing of ours,
Then looking again,
Seeing something else.
Another one looks,
And sees yet another thing.
And like the clouds so far above.
We will always keep
Our secrets hidden.
No more are we,
Than clouds.
Back to top of page.
TORN
Thinking of the past sometimes,
Other times thinking of the future.
Considering the choices before us,
As well as those behind us.
Was the right decision made this time?
Will it be the right choice next time?
Many choices and decisions once made,
Will seem ever so wrong in life.
At each, we are torn in two,
Wanting in our minds to choose.
Choose that which will put us ahead.
Yet in our hearts a voice screams.
Louder and louder it screams to us,
Wanting us to make the right choice.
To choose that which helps in the end all.
Such is our lives that we must live.
One right answer, one Right answer.
Always townr between these,
Never sure which to choose.
Always torn.
Back to top of page.
RAINING
Raindrops coming down to us,
Some small, others larger,
Falling and shattering into nothingness.
Becoming larger and harder,
SLamming down yet again,
In time, in ferocity,
Cause damage and ruin life.
Moving along after a time.
Coming to this simian,
Standing upright, against the fury.
Upright, when all else has fallen,
Batting at it in anger,
Again and again the blows fall.
Trying to go around this creature
Whichs foils your plans,
To see what is beyond.
Trying to weave in,
Constantly blocked in all ways.
Suddenly seeing a face,
The face of an innocent,
Trying to get at it,
Yet it disappears in a heartbeat,
Clinging to the simian above.
Flinging drops on both,
Hoping in time to wear them down,
Hoping to, in time,
Have saturated them,
To make them like you.
Flinging large drops at them,
Easily avoided by all.
Trying smaller once again.
Smaller drops, barely noticed,
Which add up in time.
Hitting the innocent with both,
Yet they never leave the simian.
Rather they cling tighter.
After a time,
The simian starts towards the cloud,
Slowly yet surely moving it away.
Once gone, the simian returns,
Back to protect the innocent.
Bending low, face to face.
"I said I would never leave you.
I will always protect you."
Thus it is so always.
Always raining.
Back to top of page.
LIGHT
Looking through a window,
Seeing the darkness falling,
Color slowly vanishes,
One by one they go,
Until only blackness remains,
Walking alone in the dark,
Hearing and feeling many things,
Yet always in blackness.
Noting the light touch,
Both of creature and plant,
Some lightly upon you.
Others with curshing force
As they caress you,
And stimulate your mind,
As well as your emotions.
Running from both always.
Never looking or caring,
Where you are going.
Always veering randomly,
Seeing a light to one side,
Circling round and round.
Sometimes drawing closer,
Other times repelled by the light.
Circling round and round,
Playing games of a sort.
Eventually over time being drawn in.
Towards more lighted areas.
Seeing they will not hurt,
But protect and comfort instead.
Taking the light with you,
Out into the vast darkness.
Creating another day with Light.
Back to top of page.
HEARING
Words coming out, flowing over,
Hardly meaning a thing to many,
Mere annoyances to many who listen.
Listen because it has been required.
Yet never caring about what is said.
Going through long times like this,
One time, deciding to take a chance.
To really hear words coming to you.
To actually take the words within,
Instead of allowing them to flow over.
Only one chance are you willing to give,
Only one chance is needed for it to set.
Things may seem the same for a time,
Yet the small things will change,
Perhaps not noticed at first,
Yet they are always changing after.
Smaller things will always lead to larger,
Even if time is needed for the changes.
All of this from not listening to what is said,
By choosing, at one time, to do something different.
To Hear.
Back to top of page.
SEEKING BALANCE
Watching those around,
Noting the light and darkness,
Which is in all of us,
Sometimes more light,
Others more darkness,
Yet never existing
Without the other.
Sometimes in balance,
Though omre often
They never balance.
One tipping the scales,
So the others side
All but disappears.
yet it always remains.
thus are our lives.
Ever in a struggle,
Seeking balance.
Back to top of page.
SEEKING
Watching the darkness descent
Upon this land of ours,
Thinking of all we have done.
Both good and bad it is.
Never to be changed.
Thinking of each thing,
From the times of our youth,
Onto our lives as adults.
To the heights we soar,
And to the depths we dive.
Constantly seeking a safe area.
A place of solitude for us.
Emotionally...Spiritually...
Physically...Mentally...
Constantly seeking the elusive.
For if we ever do find
Our proper area in life,
Something will invade it.
Perhaps drifting is best in life.
Maybe there is no safety.
We attempt to live.
We run, we hide.
We die in time.
Hopefully sooner
Instead of later,
We die.
Back to top of page.
RELEASE
Walking amongst the beasts,
Seeing how they treat one another.
Their thinly disguised brutality,
Lurking just beneath the surface.
Waiting to be unleashed.
To tear flesh from bone,
To feel the tearing of muscles.
Savor the juice as it runs down,
Flowing over and out of your mouth,
Seeing the ruby drops as they fall.
Shattering on the husk of what was.
Feeling the liquid rubies as they flow.
Caressing your tongue as they slide over.
Moving down and through to the core.
To the very center of being,
To where there i s nothing remaining hidden.
All has been shown to you.
Savor the nectar,
For no other item,
Once or never alive.
Shall ever compare.
Back to top of page.
SHINING THROUGH
Watching the open sky,
With clouds flowing over,
Like a bird on a breeze,
Barely a movement,
Yet soaring on forever.
Beyond them the open air,
Bluest as can be in color.
Continue on outward,
And you have the cold blackness,
Which extends into darkness,
Yet even there, points of light
Still shine through the darkness,
Shine to be seen by those who look.
Our lives remain thus,
Absolute darkness without,
Yet to those who know to look,
There shall be light ever shining
Throughout the darkness.
Back to top of page.
PEACE
Coming into the world for a time,
Living each day as it comes.
Good things coming and going,
Horrors unknown to others ever
Coming and going it seems.
But are they gone entirely?
To those outside they seem.
Those who know the truth,
Know you lie to others.
Demons always haunt us,
Our own personal nightmare.
That is never entirely gone.
Sometimes able to deal with it.
Others driven mad in time.
Driven beyond reasoning,
To do what seems to be needed.
Running towards the peace promised.
Not realizing the finality of this peace,
How everlasting it is.
Yet knowing that to escape
Your haunting nightmares,
Peace must be acquired,
No matter what the cost,
End the nightmares, the struggles.
Ending in time the madness,
With everlasting peace.
With eternal dreamless sleep.
Back to top of page.
DEAL
Living our lives day to day,
Dealing with things as they come,
Good and bad always there,
Looking for a way out of it all,
Willing to do anything to get out,
Looking to He whom some say to turn,
Seeing if things can work like this,
Hoping, Praying that they will.
Yet after a time realizing things.
Realizing things must change
Before acceptance is given.
Scared to ever change your life,
To step out of the safety of the known.
Testing the other side,
Crying to the Prince of Darkness.
Asking for release from everything,
Willing to do anything for freedom,
A deal struck, a life changed.
Being yourself while losing yourself.
The hidden of the deal constantly revealed.
Once done, it is unchangeable ever.
Your life is a done deal
With the Dark Prince.
Back to top of page.
WORDS
Listening to words overflowing,
Feeling them as they flow over,
Choosing to listen or not,
That choice will always remain,
Listen to the heartbeat of music,
Feeling it come to life,
As it is sang by all.
Changing words at times,
Then changing the beat of them,
Yet the spirit stays the same.
The hidden meaning of the words
Always the same.
Said often, but never said.
Apparent even to the stranger,
Just as it should be.
Ever apparent in many,
Love and Worship
Of your god.
Back to top of page.
STALKING
Listening to teh people as they talk.
Knowing something is not right.
Wondering what, yet somehow,
Knowing without knowing.
Choosing to follow one after a time,
Seeing where they go,
Watching what they do.
From one place to another,
Seeing what is done, never understanding,
Except knowing somewhere else,
Someone is being hurt beyond words.
Feeling helpless, yet wanting to help.
Realizing after a time, that you can.
Stalking your prey, watching and waiting,
For one mistake, one slip up,
The one which will allow you,
To finish your work,
Utterly destroy them forever,
So that things will be right.
All that is needed is to destroy,
Whether in mind or body or both.
They need to be destroyed.
Thinking on this and wondering,
Is this a dream?
Is this a reality?
Both and neither.
Never knowing for sure.
Back to top of page.
LIFE
Watching those around the world,
Hearing the words said by them,
Seeing how they lie in what they next do.
Wondering why we are ever lieing.
Knowing it is our nature to lie.
Wondering how it was all started.
How did we become masters of deception?
It is ever in our nature to do so.
Never wanting to be a part of it,
Yet knowing to live you remain part.
Wondering why keep doing it?
Why put up with the horrors of life?
Better to put up walls, build defenses,
Build a place of safety in which to stay,
A place to hide from the lies of this world,
To crawl into and not come out of again.
Our safe area.
Our Box.
Back to top of page.
WANTING
Looking at all the things in life,
All the games, the books, the shows.
A million choices of what to do in life.
Exhausted beyond all belief.
Talking to people around the world,
Access toa milllion and one things,
Wanting something different from all.
Something new without knowing what.
It is all pointless when you look at it.
The repetition of everything around you,
Fine for awhile, eventually never again.
Looking around for something to do.
Everything looking like it is pointless.
Wanting to do or be something new.
Without ever knowing what.
Back to top of page.
LOSING
Having a thing around forever,
Taking it for granted after a time.
Thinking of it always being there,
Never leaving, never changing.
Then one mistake in it's life,
And all changes for all who knew of the thing.
Time passes without our noticing.
Once going to see of your past thing,
Seeing all has changed forever.
Noticing how hollow time has made it.
Knowing death will bring the only peace.
Peace for the shell that remains
Once the mind is gone,
Peace in your own heart,
To deal with the harshness.
It may happen today or even next year.
The sooner Death takes one,
Life will be better for all.
Back to top of page.
TIME
Bringing us to life,
Nurturing us, caring for us.
Teaching us all manner of things,
From beginning to end.
Ever going onward,
Ravaging us in its wake.
Leaving no pebble unturned in passing.
Tearing through and affecting all.
Destroying almost completely all.
Seeing a shell left behind,
Mourning a loss,
Rejoicing in release,
If ever it will come.
If ever one is released,
By our ever present jailer.
Time.
Back to top of page.
INNOCENCE
Seeing innocence on a face nearby,
Wondering what can cause it,
What can shatter it beyond repair,
Not caring for the moment.
Watching they with the eyes of wonder,
How they view the world,
All the new places and people,
Thinking what happened to us?
To shatter that innocence,
To make us into the harsh creatures
That we become over time in life.
Innocence can never remain whole,
To live is to lose your innocence.
All we can do is view the young,
Remember that which we lost,
Feel the joy that they are able to live,
To savor the innocence of youth.
We can learn much from them,
Realizing it or ot or both,
Watching them in life can teach,
Can show us what we have lost.
Show us what we need to do,
Watch and Hear.
Back to top of page.
LETTING GO
Watching friends and family around you.
Seeing them as they grow older,
And in time pass on to the next life.
Loving them and wanting to belong,
Yet as you return to them for a time,
You notice how much has changed,
How they all have changed.
Knowing that you really do care,
You must let them go,
THeir thread of life and yours will seperate,
Not to be united again for a long time,
If they ever do again anywhere.
Saying good bye is best to do.
It might hurt you, but yet inevitable.
If you love someone or something,
Eventually you must let it go.
Back to top of page.
LOVING
Seeing how another looks at their overlings,
Noting the harshness of their speech,
The barely restrained loathing for all
Who do not hold their current interest.
Wondering why it was not noticed before?
Why have you done the same?
What causes it to happen,
Why such rage at everything around?
Wishing to undo what you have done.
Trying to figure out how to help them,
To stop them before things are forever ruined.
Time will have to mend thingss,
Simply let go of it all and love them,
One never realizes how angry they are
Unless pointed out by another,
And even then it shall go unnoticed
Until the right time has come for them.
For now all that can be done is to love them.
Love them through all they do,
Both good and bad they shall be.
In time they may come to change,
There is no sure way of knowing.
Back to top of page.
CHANGED
New friends and old friends,
Always coming and going in your life,
Travelling to meet new ones finally.
Journeying to visit again old ones.
Both anticipating the confrontation,
As well as dreading it the entire time.
Finally arriving, they come to everyone.
Telling from the looks that they don't know you.
Feeling the blade thrust home,
As this realization sweeps over you.
Trying to make the most of what can be salvaged.
Knowing without a hesitation or doubt,
THat things are forever changed.
The past shall remain dead for once,
Even though you want it to live again.
Always coming and going in your life.
New and old friends.
Back to top of page.
LISTEN
Going from place to place each day,
Sleeping, eating, dreaming, working a few.
Good things shall come to pass,
Along with many horrors of our own.
Coming often to fast to handle,
All we can do is to allow help
To arrive in some form.
Sometimes a word from a friend,
Or perhaps a dream or vision,
Many forms they may take.
Different for each of us,
Yet in some remote way,
All are the same also.
Just listen to the words spoken,
And the help offered to you.
Nothing has seized you
That you can not handle.
But a way will be shown out.
If you listen to the words.
Back to top of page.
LEFT BEHIND
People all around day and night,
Coming and going forever,
What will we do when...
They are re gone from us forever?
Have vanished without a trace?
Never to be seen in this world again.
What will we do when...
There is none left to comfort?
Our family and friends leave?
Left to our devices of this world?
What will we do when...
Another rules the world?
And all we know has changed?
Never to be the same again.
What will we do when...
All are taken,
All are left?
What will we do when
Left Behind?
Back to top of page.
LIVES
Running through the corridors of life,
Seeing through many windows many lives.
In each life, many choices and decisions.
Some similar to each other,
Yet all completely unique.
As you see each life through its window,
Wondering why now, is it locked away?
Why did you lock this one away,
And move onto another life?
Seeing more and more lives pass,
Then you can ever fully recall.
Looking more closely in each room,
Noticing that no matter whether large or small,
Each room of life is connected to another,
Whether through a cavernous opening
Or perhaps a tiny pin prick even.
Each is affected by the previous,
In a never ending cycle of life.
As long as we remain living,
We will have many various lives.
Some with doors awaiting your touch.
Waiting to be opened and lived again,
When the time is right for it,
Or perhaps on a sudden whim.
As long as we remain in this form,
We will be in this never ending cycle.
Living our Lives.
Back to top of page.
LOST
Watching the young in the world,
Seeing their reaction to everything
That they come into contact with.
The wide eyed fascination they posess.
All things which we see as common
Is a new adventure for them.
Over time that shall pass away,
Replaced with the lifeless stare,
Which we gain as we become older.
A butterfly, the wind in the trees,
Flowers, all of nature and beyond.
We accept them because we think we know.
A young is facinated because they don't know.
Naiveness is a benefit in life for them.
It would be a gift we should treasure.
Fascination with all the world around us.
Not blind acceptance of our lives.
They are ever wondering even at themselves,
Yet in time that to shall pass.
Things go stale for us over time.
As in time we grow older.
As we lose our innocence.
As well as our fascination.
LIES
Listening to the lessons around you,
All the things said around you.
Said for all's benefit.
Intended to help those who know not,
Contributing a word here, sometimes not.
Occaisonly giving voice to a thought,
Through preferring to remain silent,
To try to hear instead of just listening.
Yet at the same time wondering,
Why are you there?
You do not share beliefs for you lack all.
Ever searching for something to believe in.
Wondering how to believe in the unseen?
Seeing the joy in the face of those around,
Yet also sorrow at the world we made.
Entirely different yet captured together.
Disgusted you could even think of belonging.
Knowing it is just an illusion you made.
Yet one that will not last.
You lie to yourself,
You lie to those around.
Even when confronted with your lies.
Trying to protect yourself from all,
Yet failing to remember all.
Compassion will shine through.
A simple word can be the sharpest sword,
Yet also a comfort unknown.
Maybe not catching it in that instant,
Yet over time it sinks in,
And you wonder why?
As always in life,
Why?
Back to top of page.
HIDING
People coming and going all around,
Some speaking, others remaining silent.
Approaching one another,
Yet to petrified to speak out.
Not caring if welcomed or understood,
Hiding behind the walls we built,
Seeking shelter from the probing,
Not knowing that after years of danger,
This probe seeks only to listen.
To get to know the real you,
Which has remained buried for years.
In time, being forced to choose.
Whether to endure or to run.
Both sound perfect, yet neither work.
For in each are you followed,
Whether by someone who hurts,
Or by someone who gently helps.
In various forms they do so.
Mainly simply by listening.
Always must we make this choice.
Day by day we do so.
As our lies build up,
And we lie to ourselves,
Along with all around.
Back to top of page.
WHY BOTHER
Listening to the songs being sung,
Same as they are on all days,
Same people singing and speaking,
Wondering why even bother?
Most often they mean nothing,
Words tied together to make noise.
Repeating this over and over.
Getting constantly bored with things.
Wondering why even bother?
Yet continuing to come,
To these places repeatedly.
At one time feeling peace.
Wondering where it comes from.
And what is the cause of it,
Wondering why you never bothered,
To hear and accept,
That which is given.
Why do you never bother?
Back to top of page.
DON'T BOTHER
Wandering around in life,
Friends coming and going,
Missing all as they leave.
Wanting to never let go.
Yet to live you must.
Beginning to wonder,
Why do you bother?
They come and go always.
Why should you not go?
What purpose do you server,
When you do escape,
How will people remember?
Or will you be less than a flicker,
On the radar of life?
Why bother you always ask.
Realizing over some time,
That you should not.
Eventually it is all pointless.
It all ends for us.
But never soon enough.
Best to be a shadow.
Just fade away from all,
Into less than obscurity.
Back to top of page.
MOTHER NATURE
Looking around in wonder,
At the beauty of the pine,
The peace of the forest around.
Marred only by the touch of man.
A silent tribute to its own greatness.
From the highest tree,
On the tip of the tallest mountain,
To the lowest bit of soil,
In the lowest valley.
Nature's majesty is declared.
An endless variety of creatures,
Await our discovery,
Waiting to be enjoyed,
If only we adapt ourselves
Instead of adapting others to us.
Such everlasting beauty,
Unknown to many that live.
As well as to many who have lived.
Once truly seen by one,
It is never forgotten.
It can not be forgotten,
It will not be forgotten,
For its silent majesty
Shall always remain.
Such is the way of life
For Mother Nature.
Back to top of page.
LYING
Friends coming towards you,
Many leaving as well,
Yet all inevitably pushing you back.
Without realizing it,
Without even intending to do so.
Eventually you can go no farther.
Backed into the deepest corners.
With the wall against you,
Without a place to run.
You grasp the only line out to you see.
A line of desperation, nothing more.
Once out, you realize the truth.
You were never sincere.
Merely an act of desperation.
The friends return to you again.
Inevitably backing you up again,
A never ending process it seems.
Yet eventually you realize the truth.
They don't intend to cause harm.
They come to help, never hurt.
In time coming to accept this.
Hesitant to repeat the cycle forever,
Yet knowing no other way.
Waiting to see how time will go.
Things may change, they may not.
We can do little,
Only wait and see.
Hope.
Back to top of page.
WAITING
Moving through the world,
Seeing the lies we create,
Of acceptance, of love,
Of to many to ever be named.
Pretending to accept others,
As well as their views.
When deep inside ourselves,
Darker things remain still,
Loathing beyond words.
Sometimes coming to the surface,
Often quietly simmering.
Waiting its time for now.
Waiting for the truth,
Which shall be released in time.
Once freed, it seeks destruction.
Accepting less is not possible.
Sometimes repair may be possible,
Others it is beyond that.
Darkenss shall envelop us all.
It awaits but one thing.
Acceptance of our deepest desires.
Absolute Truth.
Back to top of page.
FRIENDS
Friends come and go in life.
All leaving their mark behind.
In time one will come along,
Who you can never forget,
Who never leaves your thoughts.
Regardless of what you are doing.
Thinking constantly how they are.
Everything to the smallest detail.
From the smile on their face,
Down even to their smell.
ALong with many more things.
Meeting for a fleeting moment in life,
Longing to relive that moment,
To never let go, never forget.
In time being forced apart,
If only for a short time.
Dreaming of the reunion.
Far away yet ever so close.
Realizing that ever though apart,
You are still together.
Back to top of page.
RIVER
Watching as time flows by,
carrying you along with it.
Sometimes to slam you against the sides,
Other times into rocks in the stream.
Always onward down you go.
Sometimes you spend alone,
Others you have someone with.
Never knowing what will hold,
What will break you apart.
At times struggling to stay afloat.
Yet always moving onward down.
Eventually in years downward,
Being drug down to the depths.
Knowing never to go backwards.
You hopefully are content,
With your choices and life.
With your companions.
Always down the stream we go,
To our destination at the end.
Watching as time goes by,
Carrying you along with it.
Back to top of page.
RATS
Watching those around,
Seeing their reactions,
Towards your peers,
Towards the rats,
Wanting to know why,
Why act like fools to them.
Show such idiocy to them.
Wanting to just swing,
Do away with such patheticness.
Stupidity is all to common.
Fawning needlessly is beyond pathetic.
Keeping rats quieter is simpler,
Than being pathetic.
Back to top of page.
THANK YOU
Listening to words for quite a time,
Same things over and over,
Never really caring for them,
Yet trying to understand.
Never knowing what to say or do.
Wondering why to even bother?
What does any of it matter?
But in one night perhaps, an insight.
Coming from a stranger to you.
You must let things go.
Not clasp them to your heart,
Like a lost friend found again.
Only by doing so can you move on.
Move from running and hiding,
Move to acceptance of things.
Realizing you are no more than a child,
That needs to learn again all things.
What others told you now being clear.
All only if you let go of illusions.
Wanting to thank them many times over
For trying to explain to you.
For teaching you through your stubborness,
And all you have done and said.
Thank You for mercy undeserved.
Back to top of page.
TRUST
Seeing those around you in life,
Never knowing what kind to trust,
In time coming to trust none,
Wondering why you ever did trust,
It is not a safe thing to do for any.
Continuing through your little life,
Being told you should let go,
Trust again, it will differ this time.
Debating for this, debating against.
Over time watching the actions,
Of those who say to trust again,
Realizing they are different now.
Seen through a new light.
They say this one truly believes,
They do not want trust to hurt.
It is for your benefit alone.
So one can learn it can be safe.
Not all trust will be betrayed.
More often it will help instead,
Never let the past hinder you.
Hinder your trust of others.
Hinder trust of some One who wants little.
Only to help you along in life.
Never blame One for another's betrayal.
Back to top of page.
IS IT WORTH IT?
Watching again those around you,
Seeing them in a new light again.
First you knew them as strangers,
Barely existing for months on end,
Meeting new friends at times,
Bidding farewell to others also.
Never moving apart again,
Yet barely drawing closer.
Always wondering if it is worth it.
In time knowing many as friends.
Helping them when you can,
Being helped often by them.
Spending time just being together.
Knowing more and more of them.
Letting them know little more.
Always wondering if it is worth it.
Eventually considering some as family.
Willing to do whatever you can
To help them out always.
Again being helped by them also.
Asking questions, being asked others.
Drawing closer and closer together.
Always wondering if it is worth it.
Over time realizing part of the truth.
They taught more then they realized.
You learned more then they taught.
Actions often teach better than words.
A smile here, a word there.
All come together in time, yet,
Always wondering if it is worth it.
Eventually realizing the complete truth.
It suddenly hits you at once,
Like being struck with a board.
Light coming on suddenly in the dark.
Everything seems to come together.
And you seem to understand much more.
Knowing it was always worth it.
Back to top of page.
WALKING AWAY
Walking through life you go,
Going through many doors,
Thriving in the darkness which exists.
That which you surrounded yourself in,
You become so in time.
With no differences anywhere.
Coming to a new door in life,
That the darkness seems to avoid.
Dancing around the edge of light,
Not quite running away from it,
Yet never quite entering into it.
Feeling always drawn to it,
Yet hesitant to to leave your comfort.
To leave that which the darkness provides.
Running away for a time,
Yet always returning to that door.
As you see no harm coming to you,
Probing and questing towards the light.
Wondering what this thing can be,
Which always seems to be there,
Never leaving you, never giving chase.
Waiting foryou to come in.
After some time of this,
Deciding you shall learn nothing more,
By hiding in the darkness.
Choosing to risk it all at once,
And let your path continue
By stepping into the light.
In doing so, something changes.
You feel born anew.
Seeing the world through new eyes.
Looking behind you at the darkness,
Wondering if you chose right.
Seeing how the tendrils of darkness
Continue to grasp at you,
Like a child grasping for its parents.
Never wanting to let you go.
With a will that is not your own,
Turning form the darkness that was,
Walking along the new path of light.
Tendrils of darkness continue to grasp,
Wanting you back in its fold.
With again the will not your own,
Passing by the tendrils without pause.
Those which cling to you still,
Shall burn away in time
As you continue to walk.
Walk away from the Darkness.
Walk into the Light.
Back to top of page.
NEW LIFE
Looking at those around you,
Seeing them in a new light again,
Not knowing yet how to react.
Some you want to keep close,
More so than ever before.
Other you want nothing of them.
Wondering what would be right,
Without knowing if you want to know.
Feeling a deep loathing to these others,
Without quite understanding why it is.
Wanting it gone from your life,
Yet dreading to release anything,
Eventually all shall be worked out.
Whether an ending of forgiveness
Or an ending of more loathings,
They will come to and end in time.
As freedom claws its way into your life.
Ending all things that were,
Creating a new life.
Back to top of page.
RELICS
Sitting amidst the items of your life,
Recalling the story behind each one.
Sometimes quite pleasant to recall,
Yet others a nightmare you can't release.
Thinking to yourself or even to others,
Why keep this thing with you?
It does not mean anything in eternity.
You will be here after this one is gone.
That one will be here when you are dust.
Digging even deeper into your items.
Find still more things of yours,
Which perhaps trigger a reminder.
Something form a past life of yours.
Maybe it even signaled the ending.
Ending that life of yours,
Yet opening the door anew to another.
More than you want to recall.
Yet more then you can ever forget.
Wanting to do away with all of the past.
Sweep clean all the items of the past.
Realizing they mean nothing in the end.
The aching in your heart speaks louder.
burning on you a more precious memory
Than ever possible by material things.
You will always recall that feeling.
Perhaps not the exact situation or thought,
But the feelings shall always remain.
Back to top of page.
ACCEPTANCE
Feeling the chains that bind you to life,
Those which keep you bound to things.
Seemlingly growing tighter around you,
Dragging you ever downwards in life,
As you struggle onwards towards your goal.
Feeling as more and more weigh you down.
Never knowing if you will be able to endure,
Or if your strength will give out and collapse.
Feeling yourself being drug down endlessly.
At times seeing a hand reaching towards you,
Seemingly offering a way out form under.
Knowing it is no more than a lie.
False hope in your mind made real.
Pushing it away, caring nothing for the lies.
Relentlessly it pursues you, never letting up.
Struggling onward on the path of life,
Hearing many voices coming at you from shadows,
Telling you to let go of your chains.
They mean nothing and are not forever.
Again, as before, knowing the voices are lying.
After some time of hearing these voices around,
One suddenly screams out that you notice.
Hearing it say to accept the offered hand.
Some reason this time it gets through to you.
Making this excuse and that as to why not.
In time running out of these and any excuses.
Realizing the only logical choice of all
Is to accept the offered hand and not let go.
All of this and many other revelations flash within,
Lasting only a mere instant of your life,
Yet seemingly an eternity as it sinks in.
Reaching out towards the outstretched hand.
Expecting it to be gone forever from you,
Chased away by your stubborness.
Surprised that upon reaching out towards it,
The hand remains at your side still.
As you clutch at the hand which is yet there,
Feeling the chains which grasp at you
Begin to fall away from your body,
As though a world is lifting from upon you.
Eventually all falling away from your person.
Feeling as though you are above clouds,
A freedom unknown before in your life.
Hopeing that it never leaves you again,
That you have the common sense to do so,
To not leave or walk away from this.
A joy which is unknown from before.
Feelings of freedom which are never forgotten.
Glad to be rid of the chains of the past,
That you were offered another chance.
A way to take the offered hand.
And to step away from the binding chains.
Grasp to your heart the offering.
That which was offered to you often.
Eternal freedom.
Back to top of page.
WAITING
Looking around in anticipation,
Seeing similar looks on all.
Each with some slight difference,
Waiting for an arrival,
Whether a person or a time.
Most often waiting on both.
Never knowing the day nor time,
Yet realizing it is inevitable.
A full circle of life
Must come to pass before.
Only then will the Return happen.
Perhaps today, perhaps not.
Maybe even not for years,
But it will happen in time.
We shall leave our flesh.
Join an eternal bliss forever.
All that is required is belief,
Believe that which is unseen.
Walk in Faith
Back to top of page.
LIVING
Upon arrival, friends meeting,
Without waiting, enjoying each other.
Glad to be together again.
Wanting it to never end,
Yet knowing it must in time.
Avoiding that thought until the time.
Enjoying being with friends.
Introducing to new things.
Wanting to stay in control,
And not stumble yet again,
Failing beyond any words.
Stumbling onward without care,
Crying out for help to come.
To stay in control of yourself,
Yet falling again and again.
In time wanting friends to stay,
Yet wanting them to go,
To allow you to regain control.
To get back on your path,
And cease your stumbling.
Wanting them to never leave,
Yet wanting them to go.
Praying you straighten it out.
Caring to much to hurt.
Wanting to know which to do
Without beating against a wall.
Back to top of page.
BEING
Sitting amongst people you know,
Feeling like you should be there
Yet also like you should be far away.
Not sure why you even come.
Connected to all in some way perhaps,
yet feeling disconnected from yourself,
As though you are in yourself,
Yet also wandering off into oblivion.
Missing being yourself around all,
Yet overjoyed at being elsewhere.
Sitting amongst people you know.
Being there without being there.
Back to top of page.
SOWING
Reflecting upon those whom you know
Some you barely know the surface,
Others you know a great deal of.
Seeing how all clash with one another.
Sometimes one against al others,
Usually groups fighting for superiority.
Watching for some time,
Sometimes making a thought known,
Preferring often to never get involved.
After some time of watching this bickering,
Come to but one conclusion.
It means nothing in eternity.
No matter what you say to a creature,
You are naught but a sower.
One plants the seeds in another,
But you can not force it to bloom,
Even though we may want to do so.
Only the Holy Spirit can do this.
It shall be in His time alone,
Which we can not even begin to fathom.
Going through this life,
That is all we are able to do.
Sow the seeds amongst those we know,
Nourish and care for it as needed,
Awaiting His time for it to bloom.
Back to top of page.
PUZZLE
Looking at your place in the family
Seeing some below you, some above,
yet all on an equal level under God.
Learning more and more as time goes on.
Each bit of knowledge you receive,
Whether from a sudden inspiration
Or from what another tells you,
Is like a piece of a puzzle.
Falling into place in your heart.
This giant puzzle of life knows no bounds,
It continues to grow as you live.
Ever expanding in all diretions,
Never staying the same each moment.
Sometimes you think you have it completed,
Yet enormous gaps remain in it always.
As long as we live in this world
It shall never be complete.
God shall fill much of your puzzle,
As He helps you towards completion.
It shall only be complete in His kingdom.
As time shall tell as it goes on,
Only then will your puzzle be complete.
Back to top of page.
THE HELPER
Walking through your life
Ever seeking for something
Sometimes succeeding at this goal,
Quite often failing at any task.
Trying again and again,
Expecting different results each time.
Each getting more and more angered.
Finally giving up in disgust,
Words and feeling pass through you,
Never spoke or felt normally.
Once this passes over you,
It as though a bucket of water,
Colder than you can ever dream,
Has been thrown over you.
For once you were honest.
Holding nothing back from any.
Feeling as though a hand touches you,
Lighter than any feather,
Yet stronger than any steel.
The most comforting you can feel,
Thanking you for being honest.
Willing to help in any endeavor,
Never leaving your side.
Always comforting.
Back to top of page.
INTRUDING
Sitting, surrounded by friends,
Some new, others old,
Noting reactions to things done,
Always wondering why is it so?
Why do you feel intrusive,
As though in the midst of a secret,
Barging inward, yet not belonging.
Thinking again of leaving it behind.
Friends, family, life, and all.
Wondering again, why not?
Take a break from it all,
Step out of your life for moments.
Find your place within this life.
Solve the problems within.
Hide in your corner of life.
Wanting to be near friends,
Yet wanting to not again intrude
As you so often do.
Back to top of page.
HATED
Hearing a voice yelling at you,
Piercing through th eveil of rest,
Not wanting to come out of it,
Yet the voice continues towards you.
Pretending that you're still dead,
Hoping against hope for peace,
Knowing it won't happen ever.
Peace is mroe than elusive,
A dream unfulfilled forever.
Finally coming to life for a time,
Dreaing it, yet accepting it.
Some things are inevitable.
Letting the explosion roll over you,
Knowing you have done no wrong,
Yet the voice blames you regardless.
Never listening to your defense,
For you are always wrong.
Wanting to leave the voice alone,
Yet required to stay always.
As you stay, always wondering
Why do you deserve this?
What have you done to the voice?
Clear as most perfect glass,
Yet complex as our mind.
You exist to be hated.
Back to top of page.
LET GO
Listening to the teachers around,
Feeling a peace within as they speak,
Descending upon your body to rest,
Allowing all trouble to flee
Letting you relax for a time,
TO feel refreshed, born anew.
A new experience every time,
Yet becoming more familiar.
Returning ever to this rest.
Learning over time to let go,
To release all your worries.
All your problems within life.
They never have mattered.
Let it all go to Christ.
Receive His rest again.
Back to top of page.
FREEDOM
Hearing those around
Seeing what they do
What they are saying,
Looks of peace on all,
Happiness abounding from them,
Wanting to leave them,
Knowing you should stay,
Yet wanting to hide from all.
Knowing it won't last.
Yet feeling it stretch as though forever.
Coming and going over your life.
Never knowing how long it will last.
Or when it will return.
Yet it shall be all to soon.
Once tainted by it,
You are never free of the darkness.
Back to top of page.
RELEASE
Wanting to let loose of ones restraint.
To feel the freedom that comes with it,
To strike whatever is within reach,
To feel the sweet release as you connect.
Whether it gives ir not is irrelevant.
Releasing of all that is within,
Destroy it all, never to return.
Feel the sweet freedom as you cut through,
The ever so slight resistance as it tears,
Lifeblood flowing over your hands.
Dropping slowly to the ground,
The sweetest wash you can receive,
Nothing ever compares to it.
We all will want it.
Admitted or not, it is a dream.
Nothing is close to this dream.
It is a sweet release needed.
Back to top of page.
EMBRACE
Going through this life,
Through various stages,
Meeting new creatures at times.
Parting with others even more.
Hurt by the small lost at times,
Others pass by barely noticed,
Quick as a breath, here and gone,
None staying forever in our life.
Finding one such creature beyond help,
Closer than any other it stands.
So near you can not see pain.
You will not let yourself.
Grasping the memory of what was.
Holding it to your heart,
Never accepting the truth,
Ignoring the end which approaches.
Refusing to believe it is possible.
Wanting the past to return,
Haunted though it may be,
ANy past would be sweeter than release.
The end ever approaches.
We must embrace it as it does.
Back to top of page.
STORMS
Watching through clouded eyes,
Those around you, these friends.
Seeing pains unknown to you,
Flashing across their faces.
Gone instantly into hiding again,
Wishing to help them.
To lessen the harsh storm
Which rages through their life.
Seeing the looks on the young,
Noting even more pains unknown.
Being there in support is all to do.
Hoping the end arrives soon.
Seeing unwarranted pain for the time,
Knowing it shall be over soon,
Yet not soon enough.
Back to top of page.
LOVELY
Lost in thought with those around,
Thinking ever of you.
The something in your voice
Which causes trust never ceasing,
Ever relaxing to hear,
If even for a slight moment.
The rightness of holding you,
Wanting to never let go again.
Fingers entwined together perfectly.
The sweet fragrance of you,
Intoxicating to the very end.
Never feeling any better than now,
The smile on your face again,
Worth any price needed for it.
Seeing the spark in your eyes,
As the smile reaches upward.
Yet no sorrow can be known greater
Than that of when you hurt.
Wanting to take it all away.
Throw it out, never to return.
Praying to never lose you.
Let nothing come between us,
To never hurt you for any reason.
Hoping all gets better,
And does not end ever.
Back to top of page.
CRY OUT
Feeling all the trials of life,
Pressing ever down onto you,
Something you with its weight
Looking ever for a door, a way out.
Some way to escape from under.
Trying to always find your way out.
Knowing there must be a way.
Doing everything you know of,
Yet nothing working for you.
In desperation crying out for help.
Someone, anyone, help you escape!
Feeling all the weigth suddenly gone,
As though they never had existed.
Peace flows throughout your body
A sense of being born again.
Feeling the love everlasting,
Not realizing it had even been missing
Looking around as you rise,
Seeing your trials still waiting,
Still pressing down to you.
Trying to crush you, destroy .
Inside yourlself you feel different.
You realize you are not alone
He is still with you.
Never letting go, never leaving.
Waiting for realization to dawn.
For you to realize you need help.
Once you have accepted this.
You will never be alone again,
Even if you are alone again.
Antyhing that comes to you in life
He will help you through it all.
This is your God, one and only,
Who will always care for you.
Who never shall abandon you.
Always there if you cry out.
Back to top of page.
LOVING
Ever lost in your mind,
Thinking of your past long gone,
The present ever happening,
Your future yet to come to you,
Mistakes never ending covers all.
Seeing the blackness over much,
Light over quite little of life.
Within that light different degrees.
The outer most still a darkness,
Moving inward to the center.
Feeling the brightness grow,
Long before you see it anywhere.
Filling all edges of the senses,
Until nothing else can be known.
Arriving at the outer center,
Feeling a happiness within you,
Seeing someone you know watching you.
Wanting to never let this person go,
Knowing they are beyond any price.
Pulling them to your arms,
Holding them close to protect them.
Taking your love with you,
Moving to the center of light.
As you approach the Light,
Feeling a joy overcome you,
Unlike any known before.
Feeling never ending love embrace you.
Knowing this Light should remain
Ever the center of your life.
Knowing even through imperfection,
This love will never falter.
To keep this Light the center of life
Is the greatest thing you can do.
After this Light should be your love,
Never to hurt in this world
Nor cause sorrow to them.
They are beyond any value,
To be cherished as the greatest treasure.
Your love held closest to your heart,
Closer than anything ever known.
Yet the Light of this world,
Held closer still within your heart.
The Light and love, ever to great.
Neither we are ever worthy of,
Yet they love us beyond words.
Beyond any understanding we have.
They are the center of our life,
Always closer than we know.
Loving beyond words.
Back to top of page.
CAPTURED
Listening to those around
Hearing from almost all
Yet caring for almost none.
Feeling your mind miles away,
Dwelling on something else.
Wishing the distance was less.
Thinking of how to draw closer.
Wanting them ever closer.
Close enough to touch,
To be able to entwine your hands,
To see the smileon her face,
So undeserved yet so comforting.
The spark within the eyes
That you alone seem to see.
The face which seems to drown out all,
TO capture you in strongest steel.
Wishing always to be closer,
TO never lose this special gift,
Never to be set free.
Yet realizing you already have them.
They live in your heart.
Already close to you.
Never to leave you.
Back to top of page.
DO YOU?
Surrounded by peoplke around you
Hearing what they say to one another
Without ever really caring.
Wondering, why you are here?
What is there at all?
Does any of it really matter
Whether you are here or not?
Ending everything may be better.
You never will know for now.
In time you may perhaps.
Run away from all you feel,
From all that overwhelms you.
Go to sleep one time,
Never waking for an eternity.
To have peace beyond reality.
Without dealing again with things.
What is the point?
Was there ever a reason for any?
Do you even have a point?
Back to top of page.
REMEMBER
Going from place to place
Visiting your places of yesterday,
Being reminded of how things were,
Of the times with others long gone.
Every little detail of every place
Reminding you of a past.
Fleeing to your hideout
To get away from it all,
Even then not able to escape.
Just closing your eyes for a moment
Brings back more memories.
Times of being together,
Wanting them to never end,
Wanting them to return now.
Unable to change how you feel,
How you wish things were.
Freezing time so it never ends.
Never able to forget or let go.
Closing your eyes always,
Just to see that face once again.
To smell that sweet fragrance again.
Trying to move on in life,
Yet always remembering that one.
Unable to ever forget.
Back to top of page.
ENDING
Remembering those times past,
Spent with friends and family.
In a cruel moment of time,
Being thrust backward again.
Towards your so called family.
Wanting to get away forever,
Either by a physical leave,
Or to even escape forever.
What does it matter?
An endless cycle is life,
Going on for all time.
Keeping up the act of life,
Always wondering if you chould continue.
Continue the lies that you live?
Allow another point to get near,
Only to thrust into you mercilessly?
Should you just repair yourself,
Move on in this so called life?
Adding more and more armor,
Numerous layers beyond count,
Yet always a gap just right.
A point slipped through to you,
Hurting more and more,
Yet never such sweet release.
Again and again.
Back to top of page.
MOTHER'S
Mother, sister, daughter, and friend.
Known to many as at least one,
Often known are more than one.
Always around for everyone
Regardless of personal cost.
Never complaining, never leaving.
Helping wherever possible.
Comforting in her own way
Whenever it was neeed,
Even if you did not realize it.
Gone from this world
Yet never leaving us
Living with us always
In our hearts and minds
Forever
Back to top of page.
DECISIONS
Waking up in an instant,
Convincing yourself it was but a dream.
Not wanting to accept this reality,
Part of all life, but not yours.
It is not possible in this world.
Over time realizing your lie.
That which you told yourself,
Even believed for quite a time.
Realizing the loss of yours,
As much as we may wish it,
It is not a horrible dream
From which we will awaken.
It is our reality of life,
We must accept these things.
A choice shall be given to you:
Let this dream shatter your life,
Never to return to its previous form?
Certainly not appealing to most,
Yet at times exactly what you want.
Another option, and less painful
So it shall seem at times,
Embrace what has happened,
Let it change your life
Without destroying who you are?
A decision to make every moment
For the remainder of your life.
Back to top of page.
WEAKNESS
Looking around at the people,
Knowing of losses long gone,
Others yet to come in time.
Sometimes simply part of a life,
Others an entire life gone forever.
Wondering how long the screams
Will remain unconvinced?
How long until the knife twists no more,
Stops tearing your heart apart?
When will you awaken from this nightmare?
Find that all was but a dream,
Never changed from the yesterday you know.
To believe the truth is impossible,
To show such weakness, beyond contempt.
If you ever did such a thing,
Loathing would overshadow you forever.
Feel nothing of this nightmare,
Let it flow past your mind,
Around, over, even under you,
Yet never allow it through.
You will not show such weakness.
More than the pain do you fear,
Contempt for your weakness,
For allowing such patheticness.
Nothing else would be worse.
Back to top of page.
SALVATION
Arranged in a row before you,
Little specks of salvation.
Wondering if enough is there?
Should you find more perhaps?
Return to this world again,
Such a horrible place to be,
In a living nightmare never ending.
Leave it forever behind,
Never to return to this place.
A choice you must make every moment,
Embrace your choice of escape?
Or delay another day again?
Whichever you decide it will be wrong,
Yet very right at the same moment.
Embrace your choice perhaps,
Provide the long needed rest,
An escape from the nightmare,
Make no choice again if you will,
Leave the specks in a row,
Waiting ever for your return,
For you to make the right choice.
To embrace the truth,
Leave your nightmare behind forever.
Back to top of page.
QUESTIONING
Up and down, back and forth,
Thus is your walk forever.
Wondering why you chose it so.
Was it because you wanted out,
Away from your previous life?
Did you do it for acceptance,
Simply in order to be welcome?
Sometimes never questioning anything,
Yet other times wondering why?
Why continue to do this,
To be blindly faithful to a god?
Is he even there anymore?
Was he ever there at any time?
Part of you wanting to believe,
To never falter in your faith,
Never back away from it,
Embrace it in all of your life.
The other part of you,
Wanting to flee from this god,
To never return to it,
Reject this apparent lie you support.
Ever a choice to make.
One made daily,
Rarely the same choice
Day to day.
Back to top of page.
LIFE'S PATH
Overlooking the path of your life,
Seeing what a mess it has become,
Every bit offering forks.
Some leading to the greatest moment,
High up in the clouds above all,
Never a greater time has there been.
Others heading into darkest of valleys,
To horrors you wish forgotten,
Yet they shall always remain.
No lower point can you conceive.
Upon your path behind and ahead,
A single light remains lit forever,
Always leading you onward.
Signalling where to go, which path.
Choosing to follow this path costs much,
Often friends and family,
Even your life shall you give up.
To all sides of this path,
Darkness waits to consume you,
To drag you into the valleys,
In which you despair and cry out.
Seeing tendrils of light easing down,
Always ready to pull you from the darkness.
Just reach out to the light,
Darkness has no power over you
If you follow the Light.
Back to top of page.
RELIVING
Reaching back into your memories,
Living again and again that day.
Wishing to forever forget it,
Burn it from all your memories.
Wake from this nightmare you live,
Remembering that morning so clearly:
Rising from your slumber,
Emerging into the daylight of morning,
Not realizing today would change your life.
Seeing another laying there,
Unable to see their face again,
Yet knowing you must do so.
In a heart beat knowing the truth.
Fine just hours before when you returned,
Yet sleeping eternally now.
Crying for help in desperation,
Not knowing which way to turn anymore.
Running away to seek shelter elsewhere,
Yet knowing you must return,
Return to where your life changed forever.
Thinking of past fights you had,
Harsh words between you never ceasing.
Living two seperate lives in life,
Yet never showing both to anyone.
Wishing to take back words said,
Wanting to say more often.
Realizing you let them down,
If you had but stayed up more,
Or perhaps emerged sooner from your slumber.
Knowing them not to be well,
Yet acting so uncaring towards them.
Why were you so cold and uncaring?
If you had but done more,
Something, anything, all better than nothing.
Prevented this misery from happening.
What it will always come to in the end,
You failed them, yet again.
Other failures could be repaired,
Yet this ultimate failure,
Beyond repair it shall always be.
Back to top of page.
MOVING ON
Thinking back to times long gone,
Remembering just a simple touch,
Such comfort never before felt,
The greatest feeling ever,
LOst as time marches ever onward.
Thinking of another moment,
Seeing heaven in the eyes,
A look to never be forgotten,
Wanting to never miss a glance.
Lost as time marches ever onward.
Time spent alone with another,
The softest of hair as it moves around,
That way in which it hides much,
Yet reveals so much more to you.
Lost as time marches ever onward.
Seeing them at their worst,
Words shall escape you forever,
More beautiful than anything,
You will ever see again.
Lost as time marches ever onward.
Wanting to hold close forever,
Yet knowing you must let go.
What once existed within you,
Must be locked forever away.
Lost as time marches ever onward.
Back to top of page.
WAITING
Looking back over the lie you live,
Wondering why do you do it?
Why keep going where you should not?
You do it because you have in the past,
Yet there is no reason to do so.
Another lie you have chosen to live.
One time having a point to it,
Like so many fallen before it,
Now seeing no point in it.
You do not belong there ever,
Never will you belong here either.
Waiting in limbo for time,
Waiting for the fall to take you,
To release you from this place.
Return to the peace of darkness,
Which awaits us beyond this place.
Beyond this shell of a life.
Back to top of page.
TO REST
Thinking on the release of life,
Which would be for the best?
To relish the sweet taste of freedom,
As each drop glides downard,
Through the pathways of life,
To silence all forever in sleep?
Feel the release of life,
Flowing slowly out from you.
Once that point goes through
Allowing it to drain from this shell?
Maybe with a slight pressure,
Seeing a bright light instantly,
Coupled with the sudden explosion,
Allowing your rest undisturbed forever?
To fly with the birds may be best,
Simply walk into their air.
The roar of air as you pass through it,
Freedom that comes with it.
Which would be for the best?
Does it matter anyway?
Such freedom can not be described,
Only dreamed of for the moment.
In time deciding and moving forward.
Peace and this sleep will be preferred.
But which would be for the best?
You must decide so you can rest.
Back to top of page.
THE BOX
Looking back upon what you have done,
Knowing how childish these things are,
Wishing to not have done as you did.
Without thinking you lash out at another,
Say many things you never should.
Wanting to take it all back within.
Keep it within you, never to let go,
Never to burned another with them,
Yet in time realizing another idea.
Another fact which you can not escape,
You did let this thing out of you.
By doing so, you release a part of it,
This part will not burden you anymore.
Knowing many parts still hide in the box,
Yet a small space has been created,
In which to look at these things,
To let them be released in time.
Owing a debt to those who helped,
Who did help that space to exist,
Allowing and helping you to live again.
Thank you.
Back to top of page.
LISTEN
Looking out on our lives,
Ever such simple things they are,
Yet we make our own path difficult.
More so than it ever needs.
Looking at those things around us,
Hearing the calls they make,
Often to themselves alone,
Yet also to those around them.
Letting intruders know this is their place,
From the chirping of a bird,
To the call of a deer we never see,
They worry not about how they live.
Living the way they are meant to be,
Never worrying where to go today,
What to do this night even.
As they are in their lives,
Thus should we live our own lives,
Live as we are meant to do.
Listen to what is said by God,
Follow what he wants for us.
Leave our distractions behind us,
WIthout gathering more to us.
Simply listen and live our lives,
As God wants us to.
Back to top of page.
REGRETS
Looking back over the year gone,
Not wanting to admit the time.
Has it been that long really?
So long since your mistakes,
Yet never further than a thought.
So much has changed in this time,
But much will always remain the same.
Stupid mistake it may have been,
Yet the cost of it was a life.
Looking at those who claim family,
They have every right to know
You are the cause of their pain.
Because of your mistake,
They have felt this loss.
No small regret you feel yourself,
Yet you have no right to feel it.
If you had not mistaken in the moment,
Life would continue on longer,
You can not regret your mistakes,
Only relive them every moment.
Wanting it gone from you forever,
Though you have no right to this.
You will live with your mistakes,
And in time tell the family.
Tell them that which they deserve,
It was your fault, your mistake.
Thus they felt this loss.
Back to top of page.
PATHS
Walking down the path of life,
Looking to the sides of your walk.
Wondering what are you doing?
Do you know where you go?
Sometimes veering to either side,
Even making a new path at times.
Yet wondering where are you going?
Work in the life all you want,
Play it all you want as well,
What will come of it in the end?
Fooling yourself into seeing a point.
Eventually all will fade away,
Your path will be laid bare.
All illusion stripped away from you.
Such pointless paths we take,
None of it is eternal, nothing lasts.
When we reach the end of the path,
What will remain? Who Will?
None shall remain but yourself.
As with your life at its core,
All shall remain alone,
Both out of fear of much,
Yet more so necessity.
Back to top of page.
