If you find any problems on this web page, merely click here and drop me a line. Or if you have any writings that you would like to see on here, send them as well and I will put them up and give the author credit.
All writings on this page were done by Aubrey Rhea O'Fallon. The first table is those written by her before she gave her life to christ and the second is after she gave her life to Him.

Portrait of 9th Grade

Lost

The Nothing

The Window

These are some written after she gave her life to Him.

Thank You, Father

Peace

Light and Beauty

Witnessing

Loneliness

Face to Face with Jesus

This one is written by unknown author. I do not claim it as my own, and if anyone does know who wrote it, please email me. Thank you.

I'll Never Let Go of Your Hand

PORTRAIT OF 9TH GRADE
The sun doesn't shine so bright anymore
Since I left the 8th grade
It is still up there in the sky, I'm sure
But everything has fade
And gone fuzzy, dark and dreary
The world has gone way out of focus
Today, why am I so weary?
Maybe life's decided to choke us
My brain always feels so hazy
Hasn't it been like this since September?
Why am I being so lazy?
Oh, don't you ask me, I can't remember
I've entered a new dimension,
Away from everybody else
I can't seem to pay attention
It's always me, all by myself
I am staring at the moon tonight
Wondering where has the sun gone
Tell me, what has happened to my life?
Something has gone terribly wrong.



LOST
Am I the only one who...
wonders for what it is I'm made?
wonders why all my wishes are delayed?
(and why they might never come true)
wishes that I could say things the right way?
wishes that it wouldn't no matter what I say?
Am I the only one who...
wants to find out what I'm supposed to be?
wants to be more than just me?
hopes that maybe some day I'll be real?
hopes to find a way to get in touch with how I feel?
Am I the only one who...
feels like they don't exist?
feels like there's something I must have missed?
has an empty space inside?
has this terrible urge to hide?
Am I the only one who...
secretly hates the way I act?
secretly believes that there is something basic that I lack?
would give anything not to be so paralyzingly shy?
would give anything to find an understanding guy?
Am I the only one who...
is afraid that my fear of people will never heal?
is afraid to tell anyone how I feel?
is so alone?
is so unknown?



THE NOTHING
Something is following me
Something I can't see
No one knows its there
It onlyy seems to bother me
It whispers in my mind
Trying to tell me something all the time
But I don't understand what the words mean
Or why they always rhyme
Others don't notice when its there
Can't they feel it in the air?
They step on its shadow
They walk right by it and aren't aware
In the mirror I can see it's pale eyes, staring at me
It knows something about me of which I am not wise -
It knows what I am
It tries to tell me what it knows
But I don't understand.
It tries to tell them what it knows
But they can't even hear
I call it The Nothing
And sometimes I wonder if it exists at all
Or if I made it up 'cause I wanted something
To be there when I call
It told me something tonight
Which gave me a bit of a fright
It told me in a dream
Things aren't always what they seem
It said: "The Nothing could be something
And The Nothing should be true
The Nothing's only nothing
Because The Nothing's you.



THE WINDOW
I look out my window
I see all the happy people out there
And think, why am I stuck in here?
It is a shining window
The sun is wam out there
It is a dirty window
I can't see the people clear
But I can hear their laughter
And I can hear their laughter
I wonder if they can see me in here?
Someone glances toward the window
But they turn quickly away
I touch the window with my hand:
Warm glass, a solid barrier
I cannot find a way to open it
Why am I here in front of the window?
I close the drape
Now the room ispitch black
I want out!
There must be a door
I run my hands along the cold stone walls
I walk all around the room
No door
I am trapped
I go back to the window
I open the drape
The sunlight is blinding
I pound on the window
Let me out!
The people just go on laughing
I look around for a rock
I will break that stubborn window
But the room is empty:
Only walls ans a window
I go back and watch the people
One of them is bound to see me and let me out
I watch for a long time
It's so beautiful out there
I want to play in the sun
I bang on the window
I bang, bang, bang!
I will break it with my fist!
The window will not give
Why do the people not hear?
Why am I stuck in this room?
I'll just stand by the window and wait
Till someone comes and frees me
I listen for footsteps outside the room
I listen for someone coming
I strain my ears, listening for the slightest sound
I listen for a long time
But all has grown silent
I am alone.



THANK YOU, FATHER
*Thank you, Father, for all You have given me--much more than I could even count.
*For sunlight that streams into my window and warms my weary heart.
*For moonlight on the nights I called out to You and let You wash away my tears.
*For people who love me when I seem most unlovable but when I need their love the most.
*For giving them the grace
*For holding my heart when it is trembling.
*For being that guiding Light when I am lost in the dark, with nowhere to go.
*For caring enough to send the very best.
*For the peace that my prayers are answered.
*For the power to give you such a weak soul as mine when I reach out and touch you.
*When I say, "Dear God..." and You flow through me and suddenly everything makes sense again.
*For taking away the confusion when my heart is aching and when I do not understand.
*For soothing the fears that plague me so I can hardly move.
*For putting a smile on my face and laughter in my heart at the strangest times.
*For music which causes my very soul to sing and soar on the clouds towards You.
*For eyes to see the beauty of Your world-each towering tree and misty sunset, each smiling face.
*For voices which communicate love. To a heart so dry and hungering, they are like water.
*For being the foremost of those voices, Lord, and the One who causes the rest to sing.
*For the thrill of a new idea.
*For the sweet serenity of a prayer answered--a sweetness I hold close to me like a trasure, and I say "My God loves me."
*For loving me enough to not answer all my prayers.
*For wisdom to know what's best for me, and the never-ending love to always dispose it.
*For miracles, and the joy of knowing You ever deeper.
*For loving me in the midst of my sin and bestowing blessing I could never deserve.
*For the peace that infolds me with the simple knowledge that "Jesus cares."
*For having the awesome power to move even the most formidable mountains.
Mountains against which I struggle and rage and cry--they are too big for me and I stand defeated. But You who made the stars and the earth and all the heavens can move them with the snap of a finger. And leave me awestruck with nothing to do but bow down to You majesty with "Praise the Lord!" on my lips. And you say "I'm not through with you yet, my child. Show me the next mountain..."
*For the great adventure of a life lived with You!
*Thank You for being there when my spirit cries
*For wiping the tears away from my eyes
*For holding my heart close
*For loving me when I needed it the most
*For touching me with moonlight
*When I call out to You in the empty night
*For the stars and the peace and for my tears
*And the feeling of You that surrounds me, soothing my fears
*For the times when You have sustained me
*And I didn't even know it was You, too blind to see
*That over all I do is the guiding touch of Your hand
*Jesus, thank you for allowing me to understand.



PEACE
Lord, I feel Your love reaching out
As I wonder what I should do
There's so much I worry about
Forgetting that peace comes from You
You always show me that You care
That You can supply all of my needs
Even if I am not aware
Of where this path of Yours will lead
Lord, my life is completely Yours
There's no need to fear anymore
Cause You can see the distant shores
And You know what You're doing, Lord
You will lead me out of the rain
If I just submit to Yourr care
I can feel You soothing the pain
No matter what, You'll still be there
And You'll always listen and help
You know my needs better than I
I mus stop counting on myself
And look to You, Who hears my cry
You reach out Your hand and touch me
You let me know that I can rest
You have ways that I cannot see
And plans better than I can guess
When I feel so helpless and weak
I can't do what's right on my own
You will quiet my fears, and speak
Telling me I'm never alone
You'll lead me through all the trials
You'll give me strength and help me grow
Your love is with me all the while
Reminding me of what I know:
"My grace is sufficient for you
My strength made perfect in weakness"
Sweet Lord, I know that this is true
I will lean on You in meekness
I'll put my life into Your hands
I will let Your strength work through me
I'll follow You through foreign lands.
Towards the light that I now can't see



LIGHT AND BEAUTY
I love You dear Lord, for Your gentle promise
To hold me and keep throughout the rain
To give Your Spirit Who helps me be honest
With myself even in the midst of pain
The Spirit seatches my heart and lets me see
Just what is missing to cause this great void
Only You can fill me and restore me
I see the way to peace and am overjoyed
I see once more Your love so pure and good
Shining brightly in Your beautiful face
It will light me and help me be all I should
And its so easy to accept Your free grace!
Lord, make me realize the wonder of You
The fullness and depth of all that You are
Just to behold Your glory makes me brand new
You can take my hurting, empty life so far
My tiny, little aching heard yearns for You
With all that's in me I long for Your light
Oh, fill my darkness with Your brightness and truth
Shine Your glowing rays though the heavy night
And open my eyes and make my heart tremble
In awe of Your boundless measure of love
And the chance in You my life can resemble
The goodness and greatness of my God above
Let me never again lose sight of You, God
In the passing strains and fleeiting affections
Searching for fulfillment in a world that's flawed
Yet satisfied with naught but Your perfection
To take just one look at Your perfect face
Makes me wonder what I ever saw out there
To have just one taste of Your boundless grace
Makes me wonder why I hold on to these cares
Lord, Your beauty transcends all this world can give
So also Your life and power to restore
Which belongs to a soul You've shown how to live
And I've found nothing anywhere I want more



WITNESSING
You seem so dead-set in your ways,
And you think you have all the questions answered.
"I don't need God," you will say,
Yet pain shows through in all your words.
I wish there was some way I could touch you,
Something I could say to make you believe.
I wish God would show me just what to do,
Or tell me if I'm being naive.
Am I foolish to think you'll ever turn?
If you would, because of something I say?
There's still so much I have to learn--
How to keep you from going astray.
I don't know all the facts I need
To convince you of the Truth.
Yet God says with faith small as a mustart seed
I can accomplish great things, even in my youth.
With God as my guide, I can do all things
Regardless of my insecurities and fears.
I can mount up on eagle's wings,
No matter how impossible the task now appears.
He will help me, my Lord and King,
And light the path that is unclear.



LONELINESS
Dear Lord, I don't mean to complain
But sometimes life down here gets pretty rough
It's sunny outside, but my heart's full of rain
Right now Your love just doesn't seem like enough
Lord, I know that Your plans are the best
I must be patient, cause something better will come along
Still, its hard to not get a little upset
When I feel so lonely and everything is going wrong
I keep forgetting about You, don't I?
That's my problem, You always make things so clear
I keep looking for love on earth, I try and try
I forget all about You when I hold the wrong things dear
Lord, I know YOu love me, and when I feel so alone
It's because the knowledge of Your love is still stuck in my head
That's why my fairth sometimes seems so cold and dead
When that happens, I search for something to make me alive
Wanting from humans what only You can supply
The problem's in my heart, there Your perfect love has yet to arrive
That's why I feel so confused and lost, wondering why...
Why You insist on keeping me from love that could be
I just don't realize that only You can give me what I need
No human is capable of loving me how You love me already
All I need to do is put that truth in my heart, and I'll be freed
Freed from resention You, cause You work al things to good
Freed from worry, cause I can just trust in You
Freed from distrations, cause I'll be focusing on what I should
Freed from my heartache, cause Your love is true
Only God can give true love
Lover here on earth will never be the same
The only way to find real love in earth is to look above



FACE TO FACE WITH JESUS
The night surrounds me
Lost, I cannot find my way through the dark
I strain for some light but I cannot see
Can't find relief from this darkness
Which strangles my heart
These raging passions which consume me
This monster is in my ddepest being
It holds me, slowly devouring my soul
Oh someone set me free!
I am a prisoner
A prisoner to myself
Running without direction through the night
Stumbling in the blindness
This wretched disease has caused
Not able to escape it, I run powerless, but it pursues me
Till I don't know where I am going anymore
"Oh who will help me in my distress?
Oh who will heal my aching heart?
Who will open my eyes and show me the way?"
Sweet light, it must be somewhere...
"Please tell me there's hope..."
I call, and my words echo through the night, empty
Is there no answer?
Then through my tears, I see the distant light
Dim, a flickering candle in the night, it beckons me
And as I listen, I hear a still small voice whispering "Come My child...
Let all who are weak and heavy laden come to Me, and I will give you rest"
Sweet voice, so calm, so soothing
And as I follow the sound of that quiet voice
I feel the night slipping away around me
And as the light become brighter, I see
A Man, standing there looking on me with love so tender
And eyes, that see right through to the darkness of my soul
But do not flinch or turn away
He holds out His hands to me, pleading hands
"My child, I heard your cry for help
In your distress you thought you thought you were all alone
You thought you were lost, but I found you
Now enter into your Father's love
And let Me free you from your chains."
"But Lord why me?
Why would You free me
Me, who cannot even lift myself out of the mire
You do not know what I have done!
Unforgivable things, I can't rid myself of them, I can never forgive myself
So how can you?
I'm not worthy of You! Not worthy of this love
And then I looked up, into His beautiful face
And saw He was crying
And He took me, He wrapped His strong arms around Me, and whispered in my ear
"My child, My preci[ous child, I know all you have done
And for this, even for this, I died
My love for you can never be quenched
And no sin is too terrible for Me to wash away
Just accept My love, and I will wash you whiter than snow
And clothe you in a shining robe of righteousness
All memory of your past will be forgotten
And I will look on you as My perfect lamb
Come, and I will heal you
I will give you the rest, I will cleanse your soul
And wash you in the rivers of fogiveness
And I will give you a new heart, pure and good
I will open your eyes and your ears to hear My voice
And you will be a new creation
Don't cry anymore, My child, My love, for whom I died
All reason for tears, let Me wash away
Let Me be your guide, and lead you to a new life"
"Yes Lord," I cried, "please lead me and I will follow"
And He picked me up and put my feet on a shining road
And He said, "I will always be there, My child
I will never leave you nor forsake you
Keep your heart in My hands, and you will stay in My care evermore
And if you strayl, I will draw you back to Me
For you are Mine.
This I died for, so I could set you free and make you Mine
And let you share in My love forever more"
And so I begin to walk the road
With true light making every step sure and sound
My past now behind me, all the pain and fear
All the confusion and binding helplessness
Fading away into a distant memory
Eather behind with every step I take
Every step toward the light of love, my goal and my desire
And now my heart yearns for one thing only
When my days are done and the race is run
Too see His eyes look on me with pride
And say, "Well done My good and faithful sercant
Enter into your Father's Kingdom."
Oh praise the Lod who makes all things new



I'LL NEVER LET GO OF YOUR HAND
I know what you've been hearing
I've seen you hide your fear
Embarrassed by your weaknesses
Afraid to let Me near.
I wish you knew how much I long
For you to understand
No matter what may happen, child
I'll never let go of your hand.

I know you've been forsaken
By all you've known before
When you failed their expectations
They frowned and closed the door.
But even if your heart, itself,
Should lose the will to stand
No matter what may happen, child,
I'll never let go of your hand

The life that I have given you
No one can take away.
I've sealed it with my Spirit, blood and Word.
The Everlasting Father has made His covenant with you
And He's stronger than the world you've seen and heard.

So don't you fear to show them all
The love I have for you.
I'll be with you everywhere
In everything you do.
And even if you do it wrong
And miss the joy I've planned
I'll never, never let go of your hand.

I'll never let go of your hand.