There’s this Calvin & Hobbes strip in which Calvin comes bounding up to Susie, all bursting with enthusiasm, and says, “Susie, do you want to trade Captain Napalm bubble gum cards? After chewing almost $20 worth of gum, I’ve collected all the cards except numbers 8 and 34. I’ll trade you any duplicate for either of those.” And Susie says, “I don’t collect Captain Napalm bubble gum cards.” The disappointed Calvin walks off saying, “It must be depressing to go through life with no purpose.” Life is like that, I guess. So – ahem – let me join the mouse steeplechase or whatever, and do my bit to become rich and famous. In case you or anyone you know wants to give me money for nothing, just send it to me on Paypal (www.paypal.com). My email is samrat.choudhury@gmail.com. If you’d rather I do something for you, well, I’m not good for much except maybe writing an article or a story. I suck at telling jokes. And I flunked out of salsa class. However, if you are a pretty woman, please don’t hold this against me. I do have my claims to fame – I was in an ad once, in which the star was a large cow. There were about 20 people crowding around the cow. I was one of them, somewhere near the tail. I had accompanied a friend for the shoot and they needed some more humans to fill out the shot. More recently, I have been an extra in a movie. A friend is making it, and I let her know of my modeling experience and asked for a role, so she called me for a scene in which a kid is on stage giving a speech to a hall full of parents and other kids. I was in that hall, people! I think I was supposed to be a parent. It was a girls’ school, and I have a beard. So I’m a model and actor. Now stop hitting on me already.