Drifter

I've thought of this before so many times
but I denied it away
maybe it's because I really wanted to believe
or that my faith blinded the reality
but I woke up this morning and I felt it strong
I felt wrong... I was part gone
drifted away

I'll be a drifter for a while 
till I find it right
then I'll be all right again
I would say it's ok
because it's one for oneself
if two then it's just too complicated
when directions separate
you never meet 
but go opposite ways

I'll be gone for a while
I'll be away for a day 
a year in middle earth 
and a day in heaven
different dimensions
will you ever meet me

I'll be a drifter just for a day in heaven
I'll be back when it feels right
I'll be away to find myself
because I woke up this morning
and I felt it strong
I was part gone... am I wrong?

 
I felt it empty
because one night I cried alone in the bathroom
I looked in the mirror and thought naive
more naive than naive itself like her
don't be so soft at heart
and actively alone in the thoughts
wake  up... where have  you been for the last 4 years
I thought I became very different
but really... I'm still the same


back and forth
forth and back
all these fears, pain, tears, suffering, shame... 
scared to share my name 
one would think that it'll be stable sometime soon
but I feel these bumps underneath my feet
leaves me sore, leaves  me hurting
but it's unpredictable
when the path don't connect
I'll be back...
but I just wanted to stop 
and tell and say that
I'll be away for a day.