| -The more money you make the more the government screws you with taxes. -Who do you suppose was the first guy to drink milk? What force drove this man to squeeze on an oddly shaped thing underneath a cow and drink what was inside? I bet he did it on a dare. Why else would he? -Ever become aware that you're breathing? You realize that you were inhaling and exhaling for hours and you didn't even know you were doing it. Then you try not to think about it and go on autopilot again. You can't, can you? - What if the one true religion is practiced by a small tribe on an island off the coast of Africa? -Ever have an intense nightmare and wake up drenched in sweat? Then you forget you were even dreaming and can't figure out why your pulse went up a jillion beats per minute. That freaks me out. -By the electoral system over half of all Americans can vote for one guy, and he can still loose. -I think when God created flavor he lost some of his passion for the job of universe design. That's why everything tastes like chicken. -Who do you suppose was the first guy to suggest medicine be taken as a suppository? I'll bet he wasn't very popular. -Do you think the color purple really represents homosexuality? If it does than our school's motto is "gay pride". (note: I have nothing wrong with gays. In fact I have a gay friend. I just don't like the idea of belonging to a big gay school). -Ever witness the split second a guy gets a charlie horse while marching in a parade? It's a beautiful sight. -The trickle down theory says that if we give money to the rich it will eventually reach the poor. Am I missing something? Why don't we just skip a step and give it to the poor right now? -What do you call a blind eye-witness? -A recent survey concluded that 95% of Americans don't trust the statistics presented by surveys. -5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions. -I think we should kill as many worms as we can. Get them before they have the chance to eat our corpses. -I'm a jenious. -The day we started clearing out forests to make toothpicks was the day humanity started going downhill. Wouldn't it be cool if the universe just stopped somewhere and you could fly out there and look at nothingness? -What's bigger? One jillion, or one zillion? -We need black toothpaste. -Has Garfield ever gotten heartburn? -If these are the best years of my life, it's gonna suck when I get older. -Remember: you can't spell television without -elevision. - I used to weigh 160lbs. Now I weigh 148lbs. I don't eat right. I don't excersise. What's all this crap I'm hearing about nutrition? -Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What if I don't care what others do unto me? -Killing is wrong. If you kill someone we will haul you to jail where you then be killed by us. But it's okay. We're the government. -Everyone wants more and more money. Why? So we can spend it. Money is the only thing we want so we can get rid of it again. -My sister is a part of Generation X. Does that make me a part of Generation Y? -Could duct tape have saved the titanic? -Am I the only one who noticed that, at the end of Titanic, Rose, after telling Jack she'd never let go, pryed his fingers off her hands? -I think Canada is planning to take over the world. -Why are there some cartoon characters who only wear a shirt? No pants, no shoes, no socks, no underwear. Just a shirt. Then whenever their shirt is lost they immediately cover their crotch. What gives? Their crotch was just as exposed before as it was after. Am I missing something here? -Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film -Some people don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everyone but me." -Inspired by a play I read, I now want to be a slow-motion kamikaze agent of doom. - or the sprint guy. Not the "can you hear me now" guy, but the one who wears the long black trechcoat and gives phones to those with static problems. He's like if the Matrix sold cell-phones. -If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you. -Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. -Pedestrian rule: You have the right of way unless you're in the way. -The attention span is a very strange thing. I myself don't have a very large one so I'm always...um..you know...er...stuff and...um...yeah...that's right...uh...yeah whatever. Entries in yellow are ones I ripped off of something else. I know, I know. It's wrong to steal other people's ideas. Hey, listen. I said that this was the stuff I think about, not the stuff I think about that I made up. Entries in green, however, come straight from my noodle. Any resemblence to stuff other people made up is entirely coincidental (or is it?). |
| Quick Thoughts |