| Quotes Part 2 |
| "Don't forget, folks-- the less you bet, the more you loose when you win!" advice from a stickman at the Landmark Casino, Las Vegas. "At present there are such goings on that everything is at a standstill." Sir Boyle Roche. "Stuffed egg-plant with minced crap." Menu at Jade Garden in Sydney, Australia. "Bill would exempt minors from death." headline in North Carolina newspaper. "All my shows are great. Some of them are bad. But they're all great." Lew Grade. "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden unless same are exhibited to public view." Pocatello, Idaho law, 1912. "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." David Dinikins. "I may have said something about the NAACP being un-American or communist, but I meant no harm by it." Jefferson B. Sessions III. "I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was doing spying." Francis Gary Powers. "And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?" Gib Lewis, on Disability Day, to a group of people in wheelchairs. "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." Samuel Goldwyn. "Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a-- it is defferent that the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation." Dan Quayle. "An oppressive heat wave passed over Calcutta yesterday. In the city the temperature rose to the record figure of about 108 degrees. This sudden rise of temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat." from a Malaysian newspaper. "The Minutemen are not tall in terms of height." Dan Bonner. "Caution: Blade is extremely sharp! Keep out of children!" warning on knife blade by Olfa Corporation. "Make sure hands, etc. are inside before closing windows." 1992 Nissan owner's manual. "The nearest hotel was five miles away in one direction and practically 12 miles in the opposite direction." travel article in Ulster Magazine. "The speedometer measures speed" 1992 Nissan owners manual. "How to store your baby walker. First, remove baby..." instructions with a baby walker (and if they are in the instructions than that means someone, somewhere left the baby in and sued). "Go see it for yourself why you shouldn't go see it." Samuel Goldwyn. "It's better to buy a $1 stock if it goes up 100%, than to buy a $50 stock that will go up 100%." Jim Coleman. "Sure I've got one. It's a perfect twenty-twenty." Duane Thomas answering a question on whether he had an IQ. "Passive activity income does not include the following: Income for an activity that is not a passive activity." IRS Form 8538. "All I want is for my case to be heard in front of an impractical decision-maker." Pete Rose. "Who he kills dies." Jeffrey Archer. "Don't just ask me about what's wrong with our legal system. Check with the opinion of that famous enforcer of American justice. I'm not talking about Oliver Wendell Holmes or John Marshall. I mean someone even more famous than that, Hulk Hogan." George Bush Sr. "It's an inalienable right of the citizen to get drunk." decision handed down in the case of St. Joseph bs. Harris. "I meant to kill my wife, but I forgot my glasses." accused murderer of a passerby. "Any cook of either sex, white or black, of any and all nationalities and religious affiliations, hereafter shall not make and bake biscuits of a size not less than six inches in circumference, to weigh not more than one ounce when done, always to be served hot." Oklahoma State Legislature bill, introduced by Senator Fletcher M. Johnson. "We lie by not telling you things... We don't lie by telling you things that aren't true." unnamed U.S. official. "Life is very important to Americans." Bob Dole. "The loss of life will be irreplaceable." Dan Quayle. "French railway president quits after second fatal accident." from Toronto Globe and Mail. "One effect of the better lighting is the improved visibility." British politician. "Gentlemen, listen to me slowly!" Samuel Goldwyn. |