| Um...This is awkward |
| There are several billion people living in the world right now. Before we all die, several billion more will arrive. People are everywhere. We interact with them on a daily basis. At our homes, our jobs, our schools, our stores. Everyday we see people that we've never seen before and meet people we will never meet again. We're constantly gaining friends and acquaintences while simaltaneously forgetting others. It's nearly impossible not to run into another person at least sometime during the day. With al this human interaction going on you'd think we would be more comfortable around each other. But we're not. Uma Thurman's character in Pulp Fiction proposed an interesting question: Why is it that silences have to be uncomfortable? Why is it so hard for two people to be together and not say anything to each other? And not just strangers either. Why is it hard for us to be with people we love and be silent? Try this: go find the person closest to you. Sit down and look at each other, but don't say anything. See how long you can keep that up. I doubt any of you will be able to make it past 30 seconds without feeling awkward. Now do the same thing, but don't look at each other. Look at anything else. Look at the TV. Look at a picture on the wall. Look at that disfiguring scar on your left knee. Look at anything, just don't look at the other person... I'm guessing that was a little bit easier. Really it's only when we see each other that things get really awkward. I might bit off topic with this, but I want to ask something. Have you ever been walking down the street and you notice a buddy of yours walking toward you, but they don't notice you? So you don't say anything to them. But if they look up and see you then you have to say hi. It doesn't matter if the other person has been your best friend since first grade, you still don't say anything to them unless they see you too. And it's not because we don't want to disturb them, or interupt them, or throw them off their routine. In fact, chances are they saw you too while you weren't looking. If you notice someone and they notice you and you both notice that you've noticed each other then you have to aknowledge them in some way. If not then they'll think you're mad at them or that you're avoiding them for some reason. But why not talk to them if they don't notice? I don't because those passing conversations are pointless. You stop someone, you say "Hi. How are you?" then you leave. Five minutes later you don't even remember you saw the person. If they don't notice you then as far as they know you were never anywhere near them that day. Either way the rest of their day stays the same. But back to what I was saying originally. If you're alone with someone and both of you are looking at each other, then it is hard to go long periods of time without saying anything. Even if that person is your boyfriend or girlfriend. And that's what I really don't get. I would think that two people in a relationship could be silent with each other. Personally, if I have a girfriend, I don't mind neither of us saying anything because I just enjoy spending time with her. But most people can't do that. Once a silence comes up between two people, they'll both sit there uncomfortably and wait for the other to break it. But that's a hard thing to do. How do you go from nothing to a conversation. The best thing to do is bring up an anecdote as if it just popped into your head. But suppose the two of you have been talking for the past few hours and you're out of anecdotes. Then what? I guarantee that in this situation the girl will always be the one to end the silence. And it will always be with the same question, "What are you thinking?" I can't stand this question. When I'm with a girlfriend, I'm not thinking anything. I take this silent opportunity to study the girl's face. Not to look for defects or anything like that, but because I like to know every detail about my girlfriend. Not just about her life and personality, but about her body as well (not in that way you perverts). I feel it brings me closer to her. Although as I write this essay I speak as a single person. I speak out of experiencee from past relationships. But because I'm studying her face and not thinking about anything I have to say, "nothing." when a girl hears this, however, she assumes I mean nothing as in, "What I was thinking wasn't important enough to share," when I meant it as in, "I wasn't thinking anything at all." Right now I'd like to return to the scenario of two people passing each other on the sidewalk. Have you ever ran into a situation where you and a friend both noticed each other, but you were really far apart? When this happens one of two things occurs. The first is that you both look away and pretend you didn't see each other. Then, at the last minute, you both look up and greet each other as if you just noticed the other one was there. the second is that your eyes will fix on each other and the two of you will just stare at each other, waiting till you're close enough to say hi. It's a weird phenomenon that two people of the same species should be so threatened by each other that they can't interact with each other well. Animals don't have this problem. Of course there are always some people who are never uncomfortable in any situation. You know the type. We hate them because we think they're obnoxious. But really they are just loving life. I don't know how to explain it. And really I don't have any advice to give you. There's no moral to this essay. It's just something to think about. |