Everything that Irks Me and Then Some

Sarcastaman's Theory of Gullibility

                I've come up with a theory. I think it will work. In my AP Euro class I learned about a man named John Calvin, one of the religious leaders of the Protestant Reform. He went by the belief that God has already decided who will go to heaven and who will go to hell (I'm summarizing this very loosely).So basically no matter what you do, you will go where God has decided you will go. However, the Calvanist "headquarters" was an extremely strict place. No dancing, no unorthodoxed singing, no fun under penalty of death. You can do whatever you want, but if you do we'll kill you.
                  This lead me to believe that people will follow anything that you tell them (well some anyway). This is my theory of gullibility.
                   "Present any idea, and you will get supporters. Maybe not a lot, but you will get them."
                   I now have a long term goal in life. To go on global television and tell people that God is literally a chicken.

                   "My brother's and sister's I had a vision the other night. God came, and he spoke to me. But he was not as you would think of him. Oh no he's not. He is made of the very flesh and blood of a common barnyard fowl. God is a chicken in the most literal sense possible. He came to me with a mission. To free his children from the opression of man. (pull down chart). This is our enemy! Colonel Sanders! This fiend defiled the grace of our lord, and even after his death his minions have continued to desecrate Him in all His glory. We must tear down the buildings of opression known as KFC's! We must stand together, and fight for our savior!"

                    I guarantee you will hear a story on the news about the mass burning of KFC's in the near future if you tell the world that. I don't actually believe this, but I do believe I could convince a small group of people to do it. I'm not a religion basher, but religion has already been a good way to get people to follow you. Just tell people that God spoke to you and whalla! You have your followers.
                    Along the same lines as these is my other theory. Sarcastaman's theory of curiosity. It states:
                    "Present anything to someone, and you will get at least one person who will try it out of shear curiosity."
                    I now have a second goal in life. To create a resturant called "Food?". I was originally just going to call it "Food", but I think the question mark does more for risk takers. I plan to serve edible things that don't look very edible. Of course they'll tast good once you try them, it's just before hand that it's kind of iffy.