1. Warning: often, in the atempt to be lazy, we often do something that takes more effort than that which we are trying to avoid. For example, picking up a dropped remote from an inclined position on the couch. We don't want to get up to pick it up, so we lay there and reach for it, eventually we're grasping the back of the couch with one hand while leaning over the side with the other. It would have been faster to get up and pick it up. Before you go on this epic struggle for the remote, judge your arm length. Think to yourself "Can I really reach it from here?" If the answer is no then get up. I hate to say it, but get up.
2. Any chance you get to sit, take it. EXCEPT when the time sitting down is equal to or greater than the energy taken to sit then stand. I would recommend sitting for no less than 30 seconds.
3. Ask someone else to do it. If someone else is completely capable of completing a task then ask them politely if they will do it. Offer money if all else fails. If someone else asks you to do something then turn around and ask another person.
4. Offer to help people occasionaly. This may seem strange, but if you help out every once in a while then people won't force you to do things. People won't be able to say that you've never offered to help before. DON'T DO IT TOO MUCH! If you help too often then you develop a reputation for helping out, and everyone will ask you to do stuff.
5. If it's optional, don't do it. This is pretty obvious.
6. Procrastinate. There is always more time to do things.
7. Don't argue too much. Arguing takes energy that we just don't have.
8. When eating, bend close to your plate, so you don't have as far to carry your fork/spoon.
9. Food that can be microwaved is a major time saver. If your worried about eating healthy then they have Healthy Choice, and Lean Cuisine meals you can eat.
10. Watching TV puts less strain on your eyes than reading.
11. If you are offered a ride, TAKE IT!
12. Joining clubs and organizations takes time and effort. Why bother? Just send them a check every once in a while to support their group.
13. Many of you are probably afraid of staying in shape. They now make things that allow you to excercise and sit at the same time. Products like Slim Fast have reduced eating to a bare minimum. Liposuction is always an option. They make diet pills. Note: Sarcastaman Inc. will not be held responsible for any health lapses, injuries, or deaths related to the use of these products. Sarcastaman Inc. does not condone the use of any of these products. STOP SUING US ALREADY.
14. Learn to master hearing withour listening, so it isn't necessary to pay attention to a person while making it seem like you are. There are many techniques in this process. Learn the one that best suits you.
15. If you have to ask about playing sports, then you don't deserve the tittle of lazy.
16. ?????Here's a conflict. Love relationships. They take a lot of effort right? Not for lazy people right? Well here's the thing. I am a firm believer in the power of love, and as lazy as I am, I just can't bring myself to tell you not to get involved. After all you and your loved one can be lazy together. You guys can watch TV together or something like that.
I will add more items to this list as I think of them. So keep checking back.