Inadequate Strength, halfing rogue.
Unresasonable Strength, halfling barbarian.
Adequate Strength, halfling rogue.
Guntz.
Rincewind.
Rincewind, the real.
Zarth Raider, pirate of The Stinky Tuna.
Dungeon Master, former chaplain on The Stinky Tuna.
One Eyed Willie, crewmate on The Stinky Tuna.
Twin female rogues.
Hesch Kimo, martial artist and Hand of Orion.
Shaq Fu, paladin and dog lover.
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-Meet in the town of Podunk in the Morsey township. A trio of adventurers from all walks of life who fate has designated as worthy candidates for great things. Three, the half orc barbarian who hailed from the migratory Thunderfist tribe. Guntz, the doughy, skilled fighter. And Inadequate Strength, the halfing rogue with strong ties to his hometown and family.
-Hired by Tavern Owners Business Association (As represented by Gus, the bartender in The Bar. The establishment our group had met in just that day) to eliminate the denizens of the Dungeon of Destruction and insure it is never opened to the public. The trio are lead to believe that this is your atypical dungeon filled with villains, when in fact it's being opened with the intent to make it a hot nightclub and watering hole for travelers on the old trade road. An ogre with a legitimate slant and a keen business sense whose visionary plans are seen as a threat to the human bartenders who rely on that flow of travelers to populate their drinking establishments. Since it is being run by monsters, who better to eliminate the competition that a trio of so called heroes. Right? Right. The group's promised reward: A lifetime of free room and board at The Bar and Inn of Podunk.
-So the trio form a group and head out of town and follow the well worn woodland paths through the forest and arrive near the foothills of the southern mountains where they see the gaping entrance of their target. Before they can head inside, they encounter a loopy vagrant (Jeff Lite) who is lounging against the base of a tree with a dopey grin on his face. He explains how he's looking for mushrooms to eat and would reward anyone who could supply him with some. Guntz, having seen numerous batches along the way, quickly retrieves some for the man. He, in turn, rewards the trio with a bottle filled with an unknown green liquid. Then sits back to consume his vice and smile in enjoyment. He tell them to keep it cool and then ignores them afterwards.
-Incidentally, the Dungeon O' Destruction was built using the sample dungeon in the back of the Player's Handbook and its inhabitants were filled in using the suggested random tables. It's their intent, jobs, and personalities that I decided to give the spin to.
-The trio go down the dark stone staircase and find themselves in a long stretch of hallway. Choosing to head left, it's not long before they encounter a small room with a trio of armor clad humans relaxing inside. Upon seeing the player characters, the group becomes alert and the supposed leader immediately pulls out a clipboard with several sheets of paper attached. He proceeds to ask them their names, they respond, and he examines his board for a few moments before informing them, "I'm sorry guys. You're not on the list. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave." The trio are less than willing and he tells them several times that the Dungeon isn't opened for the public yet but if they'd like to come back in a week and half everything should be set up. But if you're not on the list you've gotta wait outside. That's that." They adamantly refuse so the trio pile out into the hallway and begin forcefully pushing down the hallway with their longswords and shields out (After the leader shouts loudly about the presence of intruders). That's when things get ugly and the human warriors are soundly dispensed by Three, Guntz, and Inadequate Strength. (These warriors wore armor with the emblem of the god of slaughter, Erythnul (eh-rith-null)on their chest plates).
-So our heroes are brimming with pride and after looting the bodies, they decide to head the opposite way down the hallway, just in time to run into a group of twelve orcs wielding battleaxes and looking quite angry. Inadequate and Guntz are fighting at the forefront with Three acting as backup. The halfling rogue soon falls after a mighty swing of battle-axe but luckily he remembers to drink the potion the burnout gave them outside. He promptly gains back enough hit points to return to his feet. Many orcs are slain but their numbers prove too substantial and the trio retreat up the stairs as their hit points begin to dwindle. They hightail it back to town without pursuit and vow to return another day to finish the job. "Man, those orcs were tough," Justin proclaimed.
-The group takes on the name of The Order of the Shaven Yak and Three draws a simple diagram of what their group symbol could be: A chest with a pair of rams horns emerging from the top and a ten foot pole resting in the background. Each object representing an aspect of a member of the party. The ram's horns belonging to Guntz's battering ram, Sam the Ram. Inadequate's standard rogue's tool (Which Three had to buy and carry for him), and the chest Three's father gave to him several years ago before he left on his journeys.
-After a few days of rest, the group is feeling healthy enough to launch a second attack at the Dungeon of Destruction. After giving Gus a brief progress report, the encounter Shaq Fu in the tavern during breakfast. Shaq Fu is a seven foot, muscle bound paladin who travels with a trio of highly trained dogs. After briefly hearing their story, he decides to join their ragtag group.
-Somewhere Rincewind joins the group. On the second foray into the dungeon?
Jim: Hey do you recall how and when Rincewind Number One first joined the group?
Kevin: uh not really
Kevin: hey, i think they met rincewind running through the woods
GM NOTE: I think Rincewind didn't join up with the group until the final assault on the DOD.
-Again they make the journey down the dirt road out of town, and again encounter Jeff Lite at the edge of the woods before the foothills. Did Shaq Fu give him a keg of alcohol he brought from The Bar with him? I remember that happening for some reason. Anyway, Mr. Lite is, as usual, quite zoned out. The group moves on and sees several carpenters on ladders and scaffolds building a large ornate wooden sign on the rocky outcropping over the dungeon's entrance. It reads Dungeon Of Destruction. The heroes argue with the work foreman for a few minutes over his decision to take a job like this. The guy's not really interested in taking the time out of his heavy workload to yap with some jokers so he's understandably snippy with them. The whole encounter provokes Mark to ask, "What the fuck kinda dungeon is this?" There's' a short debate, and everyone seems to decide that these guys aren't necessarily evil so they proceed downstairs.
-The group splits up almost immediately, with Three and Shaq Fu wreaking havoc in the extensively equipped kitchen by smashing up the place real good and sending the orc chefs flying to and fro. Three loses control and starts to eat one of his fallen opponents, somewhat to the disgust of his Paladin compatriot. Even though he's a half orc and it technically isn't canibalism.
-Meanwhile(?) Inadequate Strength, and Guntz are taking on the orcs who throttled them last time. Picking them off one by one as they come to investigate the noises out in the hall. After three orcs disappear out into the dark dungeon hallways, the rest of the staff erupt out their lounge/living quarters dressed in tuxedos and wielding their battleaxes. But before things look like they'll be a horrible replay of the last time they crossed blades with the orcs, Three and Shaq Fu hear the sounds of a skirmish and rush out to aid their fellow adventurers. The added forces of the paladin and his faithful canines and the the barbariac half-orc prove to be too overwhelming to the underpaid orc waiters/warriors. They are soundly thrashed.
-The group tries to get into the living quarters of the wait staff but find the door locked with a reluctant group of orcs on the other side who refuse to come out. As Guntz and Adequate begin to look into the storage room across the hall, Shaq Fu shouts a few more threats at the unseen orcs behind the door and then joins the rest of his companions in the other room. They begin to poke around through the large stacks of crates for a moment before a demonic hellhound bursts out from the shadows of one of the largest pyramids. It blasts intense streams of flame at the party and the closes in to rend with its jaws. Everyone manages to leap away from its destructive fire and rush in themselves to battle with the fiend. Luck is not on the Outsider's side this day, however.
(Tearing down tapestry, the orc kitchen staff, the guardhouse outdoors, the workmen building the D.O.D.'s sign above the entrance, the burnout encounter again, Shaq's dogs, the hellhounds?, the one armed bandits? discovery of the talking falchion with beaming light and heavenly choir. Get the tuxedo.)
-Random encounter in the woods at campsite outside of town with a unicorn being chased by a hobgoblin and a couple of giant skeletons. Who are soundly defeated. (There was also the quartet of trees lined up from largest to smallest. The smallest had a little door w/ something inside.)
-Meanwhile that night, Guntz is staying at the inn and is awoken by severe pounding on his room door and aggressive shouts coming from the outside. He is soon after attacked by some black clad rough looking dwarves who call themselves The Firemen. He dispatches them after receiving some severe wounds himself.
-Third day. Final assault is launched on the D.O.D. by Three, Guntz, Inadequate Strength, Rincewind, and Shaq Fu. The ogre boss is slain, a gelatinous cube is released, they meet Cravis, and the helpful burnout bum who lives nearby is devoured by the cube. They return to Podunk and are justly rewarded.
(The ogre's extremely angry, the walking couch, the spinning saw blades trap, the dancing zombies, the disco room, ripping apart the painting while the cube slowly rises up out of the floor. Riding the couch through the halls, disable trap, desperate fight with the head ogre. Dagger of ogre slaying is created, Mark's dog loses its life, halfling falls into pit trap, gets belted by zombie, gets smashed again by zombies, Rincewind runs away, When did Three's chest get stolen? That was when the guards who wore armor with the symbol of Fharlangun used those exploding bags that created huge, thick walls of thorns that blocked their escape. Then there were the guys outside dressed all in black with inverted crosses on their chestplates. One challenged somebody in the group to honorable one on one combat in order to prevent them from entering the dungeon. I believe it was Guntz who managed to take the guy out despite Inadequate's attempts to cheat by firing arrows at the guys while they were calmly explaining things. So the guy falls to his knees, declare Guntz the winner and then requests that he finish the job, Guntz refuses, the dude is picked up and they ride away on their horses where a short distance away his companion slays the dude off himself. Such is the way of their order? This provokes anger from the group and a few more arrows are sent after the guy even as he's riding away. )
-After a short period of rest, relaxation, and recovery. The Order of the Shaven Yak travels east along the ancient trade road for nearly a week and arrives in the city of Ca d'Zan. There they are hired by a wealthy merchant to rescue his missing daughter. Three throws down way too many references to the greatness of the Order as they mill about in the merchant's area.
-Hennet the sorcerer's dungeon. Take another group members later on; Hesch Kimo, the monk.
-The graveyard, attack by spider during night that was more trouble than was thought to be, sights of shadowy figure running towards Mausoleum. Attempts to sneak up on him are shattered when Three lets out a loud war cry and encourages everyone to rush ahead after a few moments of silently stalking forward. Before heading inside, Three insists somebody should go up on the roof and look around after not finding anybody around the building's perimeter. So Inadequate is eventually cajoled into climbing up the wall, and, finding no signs of danger up top, decides to start throwing things down onto his orc compatriot.
-Fight the orcs in their guard booth and manage to stop them before they can alert everyone inside. They delve deeper into the dungeon, that they'll eventually notice is a very similar setup to the last dungeon they battled in. (Apparently done by the same designer, was Erik's ingenious way of rationalizing). Find the weapons room and Three gets to make the sword door trap. Burst into the hobgoblin dining room/living area and a frenzied fight takes place, where the hobgoblins rely on their strength in numbers and lucky nature. That's when a colossal ogre slams open a set of double doors at the other side of the room and stomps into the fray, landing a huge hit on Guntz with its gigantic warhammer. The adventurers, somewhat weakened from their melee with the hobgoblins thus far, begin to retreat back into the dungeon hallways, but Three's rage takes over and he presses onward towards the Ogre to engage in hand to hand combat. The group rallies and manage to defeat their difficult opponents but not without receiving many cuts and bruises themselves.
-Searching through the ogre's living quarters and the stockroom, discover the flask of unknown liquid that everyone hopes is healing potion. Three gets a little overzealous when some large centipedes crawl out from the barrels in the stockroom and attack the group. After they're thorougly stomped, he smashes up the rest of the room just to be sure. Then tosses a flaming torch into the ogre's bathroom, creating a sizeable explosion that singes him quite a bit.
-Stealthfully take out the rest of the orcs who're asleep in the quarters.
---Move Break___-
-While inside, Hesch Kimo has a flashback to the events that lead him up to this point...
--------------------------------------FLASHBACK-------------------
-Hesch, on a journey of self discovery from his mountain temple, runs into a couple of lost pirates by the name of One Eyed Willie and Zarth Raider. They have recently lost their crew in a horrible shipwreck many miles offshore and have not seen any signs of their fellow crew mates since awaking on the coast. The trio decide to travel as a group.
-After a few days of traveling through the swamps and grasslands, they wind up in Saltmarsh. There they are hired by the town council to investigate the mysterious haunted alchemist's mansion that lies a few miles down the coast. In town they meet Rincewind the Real, a human wizard and he's drawn into their group, unfortunately for him. They are also accompanied by Prescot, a dwarven warrior who fancies a chance at the rewards promised by the council.
-They head down the coast and arrive at the house during a chilly thunderstorm. They proceed to "investigate" the scene and trash the place, Prescot is killed after falling through the floor and landing on his axe. They locate Ned and accept him into the party after hearing his tale.
-A female rogue arrives in Saltmarsh later that evening and hears the tale of the haunted house and the current group investigating it. She decides to join this intrepid band of adventurers and quickly dashes out of town and proceeds along the coast towards the mansion. She arrives and is accepted without much fanfare.
-Continue to trash the furniture, walls, windows, beds, etc. Scary noises, undead images, creepy laughing, look through the attic and are attacked by blood sucking insects. Proceed downstairs through the kitchen after hearing awful moaning and Rincewind blasting a magic missile into the dark.
-In the cellar, they find a dead guy and begin to loot his body only to be surprised by leaping rot grubs. Zarth finds a secret door along the southern wall and the female rogue volunteers to go in first through the narrow passageway. She is followed by Ned, and Zarth. As she steps into the large secret room, her life is cut abruptly short by a backstab from the turncoat Ned.
Max: i think it was eriks character that found the secret door, not zarth
Jim: Well I think I thought it was Zarth because he was an elf and they get those extra sensory blablabla.
Max: erik pointed at a die that was lying on the map, and said he was going to search there. you were surprised because it was almost exactly where a secret door happened to be
Max: it also explains why erik was first in the party
-Zarth takes Ned out after a short melee and the entire group piles into the large room. There they find ample evidence that a large group of persons are currently setting up residence in the mansion. Hesch and One Eyed Willie proceed down some stairs that lie behind another secret door and lead into a cavern that rests underneath the house.
-Upstairs, Zarth and Rincewind begin taking care of the leftover bodies. While this is being done, the rogue's twin sister (Erik's 2nd character of the day) arrives on the scene and watches from the shadows at the top of the upward leading wooden staircase. She is aghast as she watches Zarth tossing Ned's corpse into the fireplace and removing the bow from her sister's hair. She bursts down the stairs, and confronts the two adventurers. Hilarity ensues.
-One Eyed Willie and Hesch continue to wind through the underground tunnels without any available light. Luckily, torches appear along the walls a short distance from where they stepped off the stairs. Passing by a couple of deviating passageways, they come upon a cave with a number of barrels of goods. They move on and arrive at the sea cove and discover a small sized ship out in the water. O.E.W. removes his armor and begins to wade out to it. A short moment later, three gnolls w/ swirling green eyes rush into the room. Hesch presses himself against the wall and hides from their sight. The gnolls wage a vicious fight against O.E.W. in the waist deep ocean waves. Their aggression eventually proves too much and the pirate is slashed down. He floats unconscious in the water while Hesch fights on and manages to defeat two of the attackers with his martial arts training. He drags his comrade back to short while the final gnoll is distracted by the swooping claw rakes of One Eyed Willie's parrot.
-Back in the goods caves, Hesch is ambushed from behind by a sorcerer who fails to harm him with several spells. Hesch uses his stunning fists on the brigand just as the remaining gnoll comes back in from the cove. It shakes its head in confusion before slaying a prone O.E.W. As Hesch continues his fist fight, the gnoll raises its mighty axe and slices through the troublesome sorcerer. It glares at Hesch through clear eyes and calmly removes its gold arm bracelet, nods in his direction, and tosses it into his hands. The gnoll then proceeds to leave through the northern passageway.
-Meanwhile the trio upstairs resolve their differences and proceed downstairs to the caverns after becoming worried about their friends. Midway down, however, they are assaulted by a large group of smugglers wielding short swords. Zarth blocks any movement up the stairs but the rogue twin manages to tumble past him into the thick of things. She is overwhelmed and receives a heinous stab wound that knocks her out. Rincewind bolts and sprints up the stairs, out of the house, and down the coast back to town. Zarth follows but stops at the top of the stairs that lead up to the trapdoor that the twin rogue originally descended from. From this position, he expertly snipes a couple of would-be-pursuers.
-Hesch meets back up with Zarth and they decide to explore the remainder of underground tunnels and rooms in the secret area of the cellar. Loot some bodies, encounter the green slime, find the secret alchemist's lab and dispatch its skeletal guards.
-Load up the boat in the cove w/ O.E.W.'s body, the barrels of ale and silks, and themselves. They sail off back to Saltmarsh and dock, in the late morning. Meet back up with Rincewind eventually.
-The council hears their story. They are asked to go to the town dentist. There they get their teeth measured and are fitted with magic retainers.
-Zarth buys the cursed bow that covers its wielder with blue paint.
-Arrange the well attended funeral for One Eyed Willie. His body is floated out on a raft while set aflame. Almost a thousand townsfolk attend, I believe.
-Hesch goes to the temple of Orion w/ Zarth to get rid of a cursed stone he acquired in the dead alchemist's lab. After it is separated from him, the head priest suddenly receives a vision of great distress and assembles the other clerics together to send Hesch and Zarth Raider sailing through the skies and leagues inland to a backwoods temple of Orion that is being assaulted by giant praying mantises. They kick the asses of the monsters that are terrorizing the worshippers. There is much rejoicing until two more of the beasts fly onto the scene from opposite directions.
-Prince Tarik and his entourage arrive on the scene and slay the new arrivals with ease. Introductions exchanged in a quick meet and greet. Tour of the temple. The Prince is fascinated with the two adventurers and delights in exchanging travel stories. Capture the insect cultist. See Stonesmite in action when the prince stabs through the temple wall and guts another mantis lurking outside near a stained glass window. Tarik leaves for the west and Zarth feels the urge to head out to the wilderness. He agrees to meet Zarth in a few days time in a town near Ca d'Zan.
-Near the cemetery by the burned down barn he meets Guntz and Inadequate and begins exploring a mysterious dungeon.
----------------------END FLASHBACK-------------------------------
-Climactic crypt battle w/ farm animals in tow.. Guntz, the PI, Rincewind, and Inadequate are killed. Hennet escapes and the girl is freed. Head back to Ca d'Zan with wagon of treasure in tow. Happy reunion between father and daughter. Shaq Fu decides to head on his way and leave the group. Hesch meets back up with Zarth Raider.
-Three team up and travel back to Saltmarsh by land along the ancient trade road. Weeks of travel later they meet Dungeon Master, the chaplain of a shipwrecked pirate vessel who has been searching the land for any survivors. He had been following this highway north. They exchange stories, join up, make camp, find a grick lair and sift through the items of past victims.
-Continued travel for weeks until arrival back in Saltmarsh where the council expresses interest in the adventurers locating the hypothetical smuggler's ship.
-Deduce the lantern signaling code thanks to Rincewind and make their way out to the Sea Ghost.
-As they move closer to the ship, Hesch dives off the side w/ plans to swim around to the back and sneak aboard. The other three manage to bluff their way aboard but are quickly ID'ed as strangers and are attacked. The first two are soundly dispatched and a trio of tougher Named NPC's including Captain Snake Eyes and a mage. A grand melee ensues while Zarth Raider scales the rigging to reach the crow's nest. There he kills the sleeping crossbow men.
-Meanwhile, on the main deck, the NPC's roll horribly all around and are summarily beaten upon by the trio of player characters. Hesch climbs on board, search, rolling bodies overboard by Dungeon Master, Three follows suit on Captain and mage. Hesch's challenge is answered from below deck by the dude w/ a hook for a hand who rushes up the stairs with the remainder of the smugglers. The attackers are pounded down and their leader is beaten to near unconsciousness by Hesch. "You're...you're not human," he mutters before Dungeon Master and Three jump him from behind and pummel him mercilessly. The Lizardmen emerge, soundly defeated.
-Get to searching, find stowaway halfling barbarian in the crew's quarters (Erik's intro for his character). parrot, map, notes on weapons purchase, sea elf prisoner, nobody really trusts the halfling. Make their way back towards town, meet up w/ Zarth, townsfolk start going through ship and relieve it of valuables with heroes chat w/ council.
-Group sails off in the Sea Ghost from Saltmarsh. Sees a burning village along the coastline. A tribe of fishing people have had their celebration ruined by a roving band of raptors who have decimated many people and are running rampant through the woods and coast. A fire has broken out amongst their huts and homes thanks to a fallen torch. The group decides to sail in and investigate on their smaller companion ship.
-Harsh melee with dinosaurs, pushed back from the forest, through the village and to the docks taking some sizeable slashes and cuts along the way. Eventually the halfling barbarian unreasonable strength is bit severely by a raptor's jaws and ripped to shreds as he lays unconscious on the ground. Catch back up to mother and her kid who ran and sailed of in their boat when the Sea Ghost pulls alongside them. Few tears are shed over the lose of Unreasonable.
But Erik made sure that I stress how pivotal that halfling barbarian was to the fight and how he saved Zarth's life by holding the dinosaurs off for quite awhile. You've gotta give the guy credit...naaah.
-Sail to Seaton? Incident in the marketplace between abrasive merchant selling magic items. Carl the minotaur near fight. Town watch has to run in. Superguy sells them some stuff. Void arrow pulled out? Group sells their bushels of silk and brandy. Meet up with Adequate Strength in the square and he joins the group.
-Sail off to Breakneck. A rougt and tumble town to be sure. Zarth has a run in with Captain Randall Key. Buy some magic rings off stringed out merchant with enormous debts everywhere. Here some harrowing words about the kingdom of Mignola. Go visit the man's bookie and end up having a discussion with him. Do they pay off the guy's debts? End up hiring his office bouncer/strongarm Tusk the ogre to sail on their ship. Buy several large barrels of water for their ship. Gets modified by Dungeonmaster while they're in town and gets the skeleton mast for a reasonable price.
-Back to Seaton, sail up river past miles of lush woodland and the occasional vessel. Numerous wildlife. The immaculate stone bridge over the cliffs above them where some troublesome youths attempt to toss rocks onto them from above before some arrows from Zarth send them ducking away from the edge.
-Stop in Eastridge.
----Move Break
-Stop over in Eastridge. Kim Basinger, the lost archaeologist uncle, his complex servant machine, the acquisition of goods, the trek into the mountains. The nighthag at the apple stand. Solvents. Running away. Seeing the man in the summoning circle with the glowing, floating green orb with the blob inside. Back up the mountain to find uncle. Run into owlbear's cave find large nest and its resident comes back fight. Falls on Hesch. Bring a torn up parka along with them.
"Max: i think thats right...it was after we ran from the night hag, and on our way up the mountain the second time Cen0te: heh that was rich when we were sailing away flourishing a torn up parka to his grieving niece"
-Stopover in Twisted Willow. Encounter with nobleman, Orc, pie selling lady and granddaughter, town council, the caravan pulled by giant sloths to Deeptown. Fight off a couple of bandits one night.
-The Sect of Sixty's festival. Mashed potatoes. Indulgence. The pit. "Take that you murderess!" Potato on the end of an arrow. The guy selling squishy tentacled things. The target throwing contest between Tusk and Three. Dungeonmaster gets a little wasted. The orc and ogre eat some hallucinogenic tulip bulbs. Rincewind and Zarth get some action. The massive bonfire dance.
-Witness a guard being pounded on outside a tent by a bunch of rough looking dwarves. Decide to help the guy out and one gets knocked to the ground by Zarth's arrow mastery. And another is taken out when he foolishly looks behind him as they run to their ponies. (The Firemen never forget an enemy.) The guard gives em a pass to one of the festhalls as a reward.
-After witnessing that incident of skill, the guy thinks he's found the crew capable of taking down Lucien.
-Head back into town proper, pass by various merchants, travelers, and religious recruiters including churches of the Legion of the Blood Drenched Hand, and a particularly cheerful gnome speaking of the greatness of Garl Glittergold! Offers are ignored and the group finally manages to find their way to the broken down building.
-Get recruited and told to meet at old church. The recruiter is semi impressed, details their mission, gives em their equipment and objectives, tells em when and where to meet his man and then they're off to The White Pony to sleep off their drunkneness and rest.
-Next day, wake up get suited and head off out of Deeptown and follow Dream River north as per their instructions and handrawn map. Day of marching passes uneventfully. As does night of first camp.
-Next morning after waking up and moving on, they find acolytes campsite and bodies. Rincewind takes to slitted eye floating in liquid in the transparent globe.
-That evening, assault on the manor. Wait until full night to launch attack. Attempts at sneakery succeed until Hesch's attempt to pass himself off as a guard for a brief moment is foild when he's recognized as not being one. Zarth snipes from the trees at base of hill. Hesch fights barefisted in hand to hand by the light of the blazing bonfire. The group further down the road in the forest mistake a guard's shouts as the cry for them to charge. They do so just as Hesch finds himself confronting the free squad who have burst out of the front doors. Zarth or Rincewind casts grease on the area and all those engaged in melee begin to slip and slide about without much success of staying up. With those on stable ground able to take advantage, the remainder of the guards are handily taken care of.
-Three, Zarth, Rincewind, Hesch, Tusk, and Dungeonmaster pile into the main living room just past the entryway. A cleric upstairs on the balcony attempts to use some divine powers on those below but their fortitude proves too strong. His muttered prayers alerts those downstairs, and Hesch dashes upstairs and glances to and fro. He catches a glimpse of a black robed man rushing him from the parlor. (Attempting to smite, which unfortunately requires touch.) Hesch nimbly dodges the zealot's inexperienced punches and tosses him down the stairs he just emerged from. And, right into the faces of Rincewind and ?Dungeonmaster? who were following the martial artist as backup. The trio collapse in a heap at the bottom of the stairs after a painful tumble and a tangling of limbs.
-Meanwhile, Zarth is attempting to leap up to the balconly from the common room, but keeps falling a few inches short of grabbing the bottom to haul himself up. He glances briefly towards the crash of his comrades and then keeps jumping.
-After taking out that trash, Hesch sees the crouched form of the second muttering cleric, and then tosses him over the guardrail of the balcony. The man goes from frenzied praying to screams as he sails over Zarth and lands with a crunching sound on the commons room's huge throw rug.
-Frenzied fight between the bandit lord Lucien and Hesch by the balcony.
-Rincewind discovering the bone mirror, seeing the cleric emerge in a bloody heap, dashes out of the room and uses the wand of fireballs to incinerate nearly everything inside. Catches numerous glimpses of Hell within the flying shards of glass that pour our of the center of the explosion and into the parlor where he's standing. The sights of tortured souls, inhuman screaming, swirling tunnels of hellfire, and unnatural daemons prowling through it all is enough to send Rincewind into a blind, fearful panic. He screams like a madman, does an about face, and jumps out the window. He lands in the courtyard patio and after getting his bruised self off the ground, continues to dash away yelling horribly.
-Tusk clumbers up the stairs and asks Hesch if he needs any help. The proud martial artist tells him to hold back to which the ogre replies, "Okay, boss." And leans on his club in the parlor while watching the duel.
-Zarth finally manages to pull himself up and join in the fight with Lucien who is holding his own and manages to get a solid hit on his martial artist opponent and several swings at the pirate who has emerged over the top of the guardrail, but Zarth nimbly leaps over the longsword and lands on his feet. Lucien looks about ready to escape but he eventually falls to the combined might of his opponents before making any moves of retreat.
-As Zarth and Hesch recover, Tusk watches on. The group catch their breath and exchange pleasantries with Dungeonmaster and Three downstairs who are busy smashing the place up and looking for loot. The group upstairs decides to investigate the room in the parlor that Rincewind blasted with the wand of fireballs. Witness tendrils of blood, stretching of floorboards, the emergence of tootehd faces in the walls, the transformation of the piano and chainrs into bony walking abnormatlities, the sweeping nature of all the horror. They are unsettled. As the weirdness begins to rapidly expand towards their position, Tusk jumps out a window. Zarth tells Hesch to get out and he'll meet him outside after he does a quick run through of the rest of the house. The monk nods and then leaps from a window while Zarth dashes past Lucien's dead corpse to glance quickly around the unusued meeting room and the dirty main bedroom. Coming back into the balcony area, he sees the eastern end of the upper floor is dominated by hellish imagery. A humongous demonic skull with multi-pointed tongues erupts from the ceiling near his position and begins growling menacingly at him. He leaps off the balcony. Three and DM have long since run out and Zarth hurriedly doublechecks all the rooms to make sure they haven't left anything valuable behind.
-Meanwhile Zarth is running down the forest path that leads to the villa and panting heavily as he hold's his wizard's hat on his head. He's so blind with fear that he barely notices when a group of six orcs jump out of the bushes up ahead and block his forward progress. If he wasn't already scared out of his wits, he'd be extra worried to see the bundles of ears some have tied to their belts. A couple take wild swings at him but Rincewind dances out of the way before making a completely stop in the center of their cluster. He attempts a glib response to their threating comments. They appear stupified for a moment and then one shouts, "Get em!" Rincewind screams and barrels through their wall to continue his mad sprint to safety. The orcs are taken aback by his energetic retreat and make a couple of wild swings with their swords in response that miss completely. It takes them a moment to send two of their number out dashing after the mage, but it's pretty clear that he's outdistancing them already. The remaining four Hard tribe orcs decide to resume their ambush positions and wait for more folks to come down the forest path.
-Zarth has found nothing of overt valuable in his quick scans of the rest of the first floor area. Large amounts of blood, and mucus have begun to spread out over the ceiling of the first floor and scaled webbing is scuttling down the walls and settlling all around him. He runs and leaps out of the front doors to join Hesch at the rim of the hill the villa rests on. The entire front of the house turns into a grim, monstrous, thing with a tooted maw replacing the front door, serpentlike heads with spiked horns placed sporadically around its perimiter, and pulsing yellow membranes at the windows. Dark purlple veins run to and fro over its hardened red, leathery skin and the bonfire on the front patio porch has turned a deep blue. A gusher of blood from the chimney and the explosion of a throbbing shield size eye over the door signal the house's complete transformation. Zarth shoots a couple of arros at the eye and they strike home but seem to have little effect on its ability to look about or function. Blood begins to seep out of the base of the church and pour down the hill. Zarth and Hesch are agreeing to start running off when a pair of jet black hounds with glowing red eyesburst out of the membranes on the lower floor and a huge being slithers out rapidly from the entrance of the villa: A devilisly attractive woman with six sword wielding arms and a long serpintine lower body. She towers over the duo and casts an ominous shadow as she begins waving her wicked looking weaponry in slow patterns.
-Running away. Three, Tusk and Dungeonmaster are waiting anxiously at the base of the hill. See the duo being pursued by this dangerous looking woman and decide to launch an attack. Zarth and Hesch reluctantly join in but bravado quickly fades as all their lunges, swings, and arrows are easily batted away, are swiftly leapt aside from, or fail to scratch her sparkling green skin. Three and Tusk take some potent hits from her swords and the group decides to once again RuuuuuunnnnnnnAwwwwaaaaaay! Hesch bravely stands his ground and engages with the marlith for a few round in order to hold her attention and allow his comrades the chance to get away.
-Meet back with Rincewind at one point during the two day trip to get back to Deeptown. No orcs try and collect some renown during the nights. Get back to Deeptown. Dude asks them how the mission went and they claim it went well and they sufficiently took care of the meeting and that Lucien was dead. Guy seems happy. They collect their money, try and buy some goods, generally outraged at the prices of things. Zarth is particularly upset at a magic shop and looks about ready to attack the guy behind the counter before he presses a hidden button that sends a semi-transparent green force field up in front of his location. He smiles with condescenscion at the pirate and tells him to leave the store before he calls the Watch. Zarth later goes around to the back of the store and tries to smash in through the door but it's quite solidly built and he's unable to break inside.
-The group takes Cravis on board after he expresses hero worship towards Three and the Order of the Shaven Yak way back in the DOD, travels to Twisted Willow take a few days on foot. Find Adequate on board the boat. He explains how he's racked up a little fee that needs to be paid after he assaulted a nobleman. Zarth quickly goes and pays the money to avoid any more trouble. (After a brief moment where I thought they were gonna attack the place as a group). The dockmaster of their section who they had paid off earlier to waive heavier docking fees, confront the group and says their cabin boy's behavior while they were away got him into some trouble and brought more attention to himself that he likes. He gets pushed off the dock and into the water, catching the attention of some men unloading barrels from their ship to the right and a pair of elves tying up their sailboat. Everybody waves and promptly heads aboard. And the Seal Ghost pulls back out into the river and begins to sail past the numerous vessels docked on both sides of the large chasm that Twisted Willow is built over.
-Sail south and arrive back in Eastridge. Attempt to explore ruins? Or head up into the mountains for some reason. Sell gems to get money to Yukon Cornelius. Encounter the crazed half elf adventurer running out of glade. Restrain him and drag him back down over hill, past the trees, and into field where his three companions all lie dead and a lone rabbit sits near a burrow.
-Vorpal rabbits throwdown. Group begins to loot/examine the bodies. Hesch gets too close to the burrow as dozens of the diabolical bunnies leap out in a wave and one latches onto his throat and rapidly slices through his neck with its large jaws lined with razor teeth. The wave strides forward and Adequate Strength, Zarth, and Rincewind find themselves in a blur of leaping, biting teeth and clawed feet. The elf tries to dash off but is quickly pulled down and killed by their numbers. After a couple of dangerously close calls, Zarth uses his retainer to teleport to safety as does Rincewind shortly after. The halfling rogue watches in horror as the remainder of his companions disappear and he's left alone in the glade amongst a pack of vicious predators. He falls into full defensive status and makes a run towards the trees and up the hill, with vorpal rabbits nipping at his heels and attempting to leap onto his neck. He sprints over the crest of the hill to come face to face with a spectacle wearing older gentlmen wearing a climbing harness, backpack, and bandoleers with chemical vials. He starts to launch vials over the halfling who watches with happiness as they explode out upon impact sending rapidly working solvents splashing everywhere killing a number of the rabbits. He manages to launch another vial, but misses with a third as the rabbits overwhelm him and he falls to the ground before getting his head ripped off by their wicked jaws.
-Adequate has quickly lost faith. Sees the druidess in the tree limbs above quietly laughing to herself right before an owlbear bursts onto the scene and begins battling with the remainder of the rabbits while the halfling runs off with a small crew following him.
-Gets to town. Townsfolk kill rabbits. Meets up with Three, Tusk, and rest of crew. Explains situation and they head up to retrieve Hesch's body after getting some supplies and Three's insistence on hiring some townsfolk with solvent to accompany them. Get there and find a number of dead rabbits, the professor's body, and the scene. Owlbear attacks again and solvents are launched that take it down, it tumbles over the hill and lands in a pile of bushes on the other side.
-Take bodies back to town.
-Meanwhile, Zarth and Rincewind recover in Saltmarsh and go to the temple of Orion to ask aid from the clerics to resurrect Hesch, aka the Hand of Orion. They send an enterouge on a s hip and pick up a high level cleric in a coastal town along the way. The crew in Eastridge hold tight for a few weeks and put the body in cold storage while they wait for the return of their comrades. Hesch is returned to life and there is much rejoicing.
-Receive a scroll from a griffin rider from Princess Alessa regretabbly informing Zarth and Hesch of the death of Prince Tarik of Norvall a short time ago. They are invited to attend a funeral service for him that's taking place in less than a month. They sail off and inland to a city of Norvall (Where docking is free) leave Three and company in charge of ship while everyone else makes the landtrek out of the kingdom to the tiny farming village of Tumek and arrive a day early. Attend the service the next day and the memorial, later recruited by advisor to recover Stonesmite from the Valley of Vok Delor, where the Prince and his comrades were found dead and had been looking for adventure in. They gladly take up the task fueled on by Zarth and Hesch, who had the most significant friendship with his highness.
---Move Break
-Prince Tarik's funeral. Dungeon Master is less than impressed with the fanfare for this guy. Adequate is content to piss off the princess. Meet lots of interesting and noteworthy characters at the funeral. Enlisted to retrieve Stonesmite, the kingdom sword from the valley where the prince's body was found.
-Plowing down path and near fall of people going over mountain slide.
-Having no luck with the crime scene, the group randomly chooses a direction and move on until they find the stream and decide to follow it. After extensively search the waterfall area from above the valley to make sure there wasn't a secret door somewhere in the vicinity.
-Find lower Vok Delor valley. What happened with the rope? Did they leave it there? That's important to know. Is it still tied around that tree on the upper plateau cause it's gonna be hard to get back up otherwise. Max says he remembers leaving it there so I guess that's where it is.
-Tossing Adequate into the stream, hunting deer, making campsite, later that night hear the group of ogres crashing through the forest and come upon their scene. A brutal melee ensues but thanks to the good tactics of the player characters, the ogres fall.
-Next morning, they follow the path that the ogres have made through the forest to their lair, find the ogre's hidden treasure ditch under the large rock in the cave.
-Head back to their original campsite. Follow stream out of forest and to the sloping hills which lead to the beach where merry cavorting takes place for a few moments before they decide to get back to business and follow the ocean north until they reach the rocky walls of the valley.
-Owlbear attack that raises a lot of noise which the gnoll squad decides to investigate. Hesch and them stumble upon each other in the mists and a pitched battle occurs but the gnolls are not up to the task of taking on everyone.
-The gnoll's fort. Too many opponents. Attempted to sneak in, Adequate spotted. Hesch dashing into cave and fighting numerous warriors. Zarth's sniping from the outer wall, "You shouldn't have betrayed me." Adequate's deadly battle with the escaping gnoll. His revelation as the linguistics officer. Their attempts to capture him because of this knowledge. Rincewind gets some good hits in as well. Test of strength between Dungeonmaster and Kip after he awoke. The discovery of the gnoll's equipment trove. Raiding.
-Sleep in the gnoll's cave. Next morning, Adequate awakes and feels uncontrollable urge to attack somebody. He directs it at Dungeonmaster, strikes him with his sword and then tries to play it off after Dungeomaster awakes quite upset. "Eh time to get up," the halfling innocently replies causing the pirate to pick up him and throw him against the wall. What powers are at work? What could have caused this?
-Group hears Kip story of discovering the prince wandering around in the forest with a considerable sword wound in his back. They caught him, roughed em up a bit and then left him in that clearing. "Because I'm a gnoll! There's not a lot of options out there for me in regards to the group I run with," Kip rationalizes to those questions about why they set about doing that. And then makes the pointed remark about how they could be perceieved as the intruders into the gnoll's home in this situation, considering the stormed their fort and began slaughtering folks left and right. Dungeonmaster has promised Kip a role in the party and a job on the ship. Hesch is likely untrustworthy, but pretty easy going about the whole thing. Adequate is notably suspicious of the smooth talking hyena. And Rincewind and Zarth are kinda indiffent it seems. Plus, Mark explained that they can get info out of this guy and then it's no big deal if he dies somewhere in combat with something else down the line.
-"Where's the treasure in this place?" Dungeonmaster asks. Kip blinks, and then asks, "Treasure, sir? Well if I were to theorize on the most likely location I would say that the lizardman lair is likely to be well stocked with a number of items. They are the most powerful group in the valley behind us. Or, more accurately, before our fort was wiped out by you folks, of course." The group decides to follow Kip to this lizardman lair and kick some ass.
-GM Note: Should probably start asking about food supplies soon.
--Break
-Heading off to Lizardman lair.
-Travel with Kip through forests to old church. Attack by ogres nd discovery of Andreas, cousin to Prince Tarik, and Stephen, a friend of theirs. Mucho conversation and damn near interrogation. "It’s an old police tactic, Andreas."
-The group becomes SEPERATED with Zarth, Hesch and Dungeonmaster rushing ahead into the cavern entrance at the back of the church. (I messed up the rock slide trap badly.) The outsiders try to dig up the enormous amount of rubble at the entrance. The duo inside move on, fight ettercaps and spiders, and are later ambushed by a huge group of lizardmen. They battle against the endless barrage until wounds prove too much and they teleport away. Especially after facing the "Mage" with an AC of 22.
-Mark and CO. give up on digging after making no appreciable progress after shoveling for 45 minutes. After Mark says that it looks like they’re lost, Rincewind says, "Well I guess there’s no reason for me to stick around. Rothgar," and disappears. Adequate, Dungeonmaster, Andreas, Stephen, and Kip move on. On the trail out of the valley, DM falls, and later Stephen falls to his death into the eternally fog shrouded treetops far below. "I told him to be careful!" Mark declares. They reach Tumek and Andreas has run off.
(I think Adequate might have tried to grab DM’s hand but just missed)
-Hesch and Zarth appear back at Dr. Wall’s office. Rincewind shows up shortly afterwards. Meet Eom outside, wants to sell him information. See all the mercs in town, met officer Sonders, learn of opposition amongst some councilman. Rincewind buys lawn dart from guy. Learns about Sully. Zarth meets Lightfellow, his contact to a squad of wild elven archers.
-Town square grand melee w/ Hesch, the Insectica warrior, The Lords of Slaughter mercs, and the Firemen that leaves the town square in ruins. Many of the council are now wondering about the heroes. Hesch tosses his ruined shirt to the Office Sonders and tell hims to clen it for him. Which happens to contain their wanted poster from Deeptown that the informant Eom gave him.
-Zarth and Rincewind do research at the Temple of Orion’s library and meet researcher.
-Rincewind trains under the tutelage of Sully, learns of his destiny to become this mage’s student, and is taught Random Spell.
- After killing many of the temple’s priests, mysterious Assassins attack hesch while he is m editating in the main chamber after returning from his hard fought battle. Hesch beats them all into unconsciousness after they nearly kill him. Acolytes take the remainder into custody.
-Officer Sonders and Crew w/ politicians, police, and some townsfolk take Hesch into custody. Along with Rincewind.
-Zarth trains with Lightfellow and his crew in the forests outside of town. Bears witness to their history, place of origin, and much of their philosophy. All of this is primarily coming from Stoneback, their leader.
-Hesch and Rincewind get jailed w/ assassins, questioned, disbelieved, and kept in jail along with some drunken revelers.
-A Xill shows up at the jail and goes ballistic at the jail but is killed by the wild elf squad w/ Zarth after their training session’s over.
The assassins leave after the Xill is killed.
-Zarth goes on a vendetta mission next day and his friends stay in jail. Shoots guards outside of town hall, a riot erupts amongst the numerous factions demonstrating outside and the milling mercenaries.
-Rincewind rescued by Sully the mage, who pushes his shack all the way back to the jail cells and releases a giant book with teeth that chews out the wall between the two PC’s cells. Hesch refuses to leave and exchanges some cross words with Sully and pounds on the book for a bit as Rincewind and his mentor push off.
-Zarth shooting mercs, and rallying citizens as he makes his way to Dr. Wall’s office to grab the beacon during the chaos of a dissolving town.
-Hesch sit while the book chews up the walls until the remaning acolytes appear to rescue him, tell him that many of the council have been hung, there’s all manner of looting going on, and that the temple is burning down. Hesch decides that there is no longer any governing body to enforce the laws and chooses to leave with his fellow believers.
-Rincewind and Sully push along down the street, unaware of directions, Sully makes some rabbit stew for Rincewind, takes his pupil’s shoe for use in stew. Chat about his destiny. Push on off all the way out of town until Sully bids him farewell in the pouring rain. The wizard makes his way eastward down the coast road a bit before going off to find a suitable tree to spend the night in.
-Hesch finds a overzealous rioter who shouts the greatness of Tarrasque while brandishing a severed heat of an Orion priest. Hesch pounds the guy for awhile, and then tosses his beaten body to the acolytes with the order, "Tear him limb from limb!" They crowd around him and beat him for a few minutes before kicking him into the gutter.
NOTE: Reward for completion of the mission in Deeptown. 800 gp check for each person in party. Redeemable at any Temple of All Hope.
-Regrouping at the haunted house. Remaining acolytes from the Order of Orion find their way there.
-MOVE BREAK
-While travelling the road north during the night, strange lights are suddenly seen shooting out of the forest to the east. As the group debates whether they should investigate, a crazed halfling woman shoots out onto the path. She begs them to accompany her back to the dungeon of Rappan Athuk and replace her lost party. She claims she was quite close to the treasure cache. Although doubtful the group decides to follow her after she promises them untold riches.
-They arrive at a meadow with a fluctuating shimmer in the air, Panzy (the halfling) indicates this is the portal back to RA. But it's important to hurry since she doesn't know how long the portal will remain.
-Panzy killed by an enraged Hesch Kimo after the arm wrestling contest. She miracously wins her roll, gloats in his face and he punches her with his free hand. She goes flying and lands prone. He gets up and extends a hand to help her up and she springs off her hands and does a flying kick into his gut. It's on. A short time later, Panzy is dead and Hesch tosses her body down the well.
-Mark's ranger ends up catching up with his crew after briefly seperating from them to relocate his horse after that attack by the pack of chimeras on the road. After finding his horse he follows the road north, discovers signs of their past campsites and scuffle with wolves. Dissection as a result of Justin's failed de-boning of the wolf, Mark skins another wolf and begins to wear it's head and skin, and then follows the signs indicating their departure from the road. He then jumps through the portal. And maybe breaks the fishing line on the other side? It was attachted to the horse on the other end.
-The bugbear stumbles through the dimensional portal. Ends up joining the group.
-Gargoyles come back to life while the group rests atop the roof. A chaotic fight ensues.
-Group rests atop the main mausoleum of Rappan Athuk, planning to head down one final time to dismantle the rat ruling class. They're obligated to after being hired by the rat resistance.
-In that interim between adventures when the PC's adjust their character sheets after leveling, Hesh Kimo got transmuted into a stone giant by Rincewind.