Title: First Impressions
Author:  Sarina Argus aka Aya
Rating: PG-ish
Archive: Yes please
Summary: Angst warning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her boot heels clicked on the cold metal floors as she strode down the deserted hallway.  She didn't want to do this.  Actually no one liked doing this; she'd just guessed wrong and pulled the undesirable duty of delivering the new orders to the General.  Added to the fact that he was in his private quarters and not somewhere, anywhere else on the ship made the duty even less desirable.

He put everyone ill at ease, not on purpose of course, things just happened that way.  No one knew how to speak to him, or even if they should.  It made for a difficult situation sometimes, especially during long watches.  He must have realized it, since he rearranged the duty roster to put him on the least desirable shifts and keeping his contact with the crew to a minimum.  It helped put the crew less on guard but did nothing to change their view of him.

It wasn't as if he was unapproachable either.  He was soft spoken, considerate, extremely intelligent, and showed rare glimpses of dry humor, usually during lengthy mission briefings.  No, he did what he could to make the crew comfortable around him.

Nor was it his carriage.  He was hardly the type who was unsure of himself or his appearance.  He knew he was pleasant to look at... Gods, that was an understatement.  Half the crew must have had at least one wet dream about the General, her included.  He kept to himself though, encouraging none of the subtle and not-so-subtle advances, but rather brushing them off with quiet dignity.  No, it wasn't that either.

It was that he was a Jedi Knight.  One of the few assigned to the fleet, and the only one in this quadrant.  He was also the last apprentice to the infamous Qui-Gon Jinn and the failed master of Anakin Skywalker, now Darth Vader.  The last detail haunted him to no end, and many of the senior commanders challenged him in spite of his exemplary duty performance. In their last skirmish, he was cool, precise and kept everything under control, pulling all of their collective hides out of the fire. He knew what he was doing and took all the slights, stabs and insults with quiet dignity, much to the crew's surprise and Command's dismay.  That mysterious Jedi serenity and poise unnerved everyone.

She rang the door chime.  No one had ever seen his quarters before and she knew she'd be interrogated when she returned to the bridge.

"Yes?"

"General Kenobi, I have a message from Command."

The door slid open with a soft hiss.  She stepped inside and scanned the spartan quarters.  The massive desk that stood by the window was neatly organized, with datapads stacked to one side.  A small rock sat in one corner of the desk, along with a old folio with several pieces of parchment sticking out of it.  In the center of the desk was a blue scrap of cloth and a small holoprojector.  She approached the desk slowly.

"Sir?"

He stood looking out the view port leaning against the bare wall, one hand clenched tightly.  A small silver chain dangled loosely from between his fingers. "Yes?" he said again, not moving.

"Sir, new orders from Command.  They need your acknowledgement."

He sighed softly and moved to away from the window.  "Thank you."  Reaching for the pad, his shoulders sank slightly, as he set the chain on the blue cloth.  She then saw the black pendant and a softly coiled braid he'd been holding. 

She stood quietly, again scanning the room for some insight into her commanding officer.  Glancing at the holo again, she saw the image of a smiling, young woman wrapped in the arms of a young, handsome man.  It caught her interest, and she stared openly at the pair.

"It looks nothing like me, I know."

She snapped out of her reverie and stammered, "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to pry."

He studied her then, and she felt suddenly uncomfortable under his intense gaze.  "You're not."

She cleared her throat then, trying to break the tension in between them.  "She's very lovely."

He smiled weakly, picked up the holo and handed it to her.  "Yes, I know.  That was taken several years ago.  It was our first trip to Maralis.  She insisted on having that taken." 

She studied the image, smiling at the carefree expression on their faces.  The man was caught mid-laugh, his green eyes flashing wicked amusement.  The woman smiled knowingly, teasing both her companion and the holographer with a naughty look.

"It's a very good picture.  You both look very happy," she said, handing the picture back to him.

"We..."  he stopped short.  "Thank you."  He looked at the image again, lost in thought.

"Will she be meeting you at our next port?" she asked.  "Command says there will be time for a short holiday for the crew."

"No." His voice broke and she suddenly felt his sadness, his loneliness.  "She died in the first attacks on Coruscant."  He set the holo on the desktop, his body sinking wearily.

"Oh gods, I'm... I'm so sorry."  She started to back away from the table.

"No, please," he stammered quickly.  "It's alright."  He looked up and caught her with a pleading look.  "Please, Ensign..."

"Willette."

"Ensign Willette.  Would you mind?"  He moved to the small sideboard and poured to small glasses of Eiluid brandy.  Holding one of the glasses out to her, "It's her birthday today, and I..."  He exhaled hard.  "I'd rather not drink alone."

Willette took the glass, her fingertips brushing against his briefly.  "Of course, it would be an honor, sir."

He took his own glass and held it in front of him and went back to the desk.  Retrieving the holo, he raised his glass and whispered,  "Happy Birthday, Shara."  He drank slowly, his eyes never leaving the image.

Willette followed suit, stunned slightly as the brandy stung the back of her throat.  She finished her drink and set the glass on the desktop.  An awkward silence fell between them as his memories seemed to overtake him. 

"I should probably be heading back to the bridge."

He glanced up then, his mask of Jedi stoicism back in place.  "Yes, of course Ensign, thank you.  I'll look over these orders and be on the bridge shortly."

She bowed formally and made to leave.  Turning back one last time, she saw him take the braid and pendant and wrap them in the blue cloth.  He raised the packet to his lips then tucked the bundle into one of his interior coat pockets.  He looked up again,  "Is there anything else, Ensign?"

"No, sir.  Thank you." 

"For what?"

"For the drink."

He bowed slightly.  "Thank you for sharing with me."

She smiled, palmed the door open, then bowed again and hurried back to down the hall.  The door slid shut as she walked to the turbolifts.   When she stepped onto the bridge, all eyes turned to her. 

"Well?" they prodded.

She chuckled.  "Please, guys, he's just our commander."

"He's not just our commander, he's a scregging Jedi Knight!"

She sighed, remembering his pained expression.  "Jedi or not, he's just a man."

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