| When Life Gets Complicated By Sarol April 23, 2002 From a short distance, both of her eyes appeared blue, but when you got close enough, you could see that one was slightly green and the other slightly gray. Her hair was like sunshine- thick layers of varying shades of gold. On most days she let it hang loosely down her back, held back only by her faded navy hat. As it was nearing August, her tan face and arms were kissed with freckles from countless hours of selling papers in the sun. She was like the Spot Conlon of females- she could soak any girl that got in her way, and even some guys, too. She was frequently patching up the rips and tears that graced the knees of her skirts, though it seemed as soon as they were fixed she’d get in another fight and have to sew them up again. Her longtime boyfriend was Jack Kelly; together they ruled as king and queen of the Manhattan newsies. At first no one thought it would last long, as Jack had had too many girlfriends over the past few years to count. In fact, he’d been going out with Sarah Jacobs, the sister of one of the other newsies, when this golden-haired girl first came to the Lodging House about a month after the strike. Needless to say, Jack dropped poor Sarah pretty fast, and since then- almost a whole month, Jack’s been as in love with this girl as the day she came. Which presented a problem, or for me anyway. I’ve been in love with this girl, maybe even more so than Jack, since the second she lit up her room with her smile so long ago. I pretty much let Jack have her, telling myself that my friendship with him meant more than a girl could, and also subconsciously planning on swooping in and being the hero when Jack dumped her. Since that obviously never happened, we’ve developed a relationship as buddies, and she’s no different than just one of the guys to everyone but Jack and me. I suppose I brought this all upon myself by not acting when I had the chance, but it was too late to do anything but dream. Her name was Mary Buettner, and I guess it’s true that beauty is in the flaws, because with her different colored eyes and freckles, dear me, she was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. As long as we’re on introductions, I’ll tell you about myself. My name is Tony Higgins, although if you call me that I can’t guarantee I’ll respond right away. Ever since I discovered the glory of betting when I ran away ten years ago, I’ve been known as Racetrack. Most days you’ll find me with my stack of papes at the Sheepshed Races, earning enough money for a plate at Tibby’s, from the betting as much as from the papers. Crack! The gunshot sounded, starting the race and the shouts of the audience, and jerking me back to reality. I could see that the horse I’d foolishly bet the rest of yesterday’s money on had virtually no chance of winning. Swearing under my breath at my own stupidity of making that mistake again, I considered slipping out before the race was over and I’d have to pay up. However, I knew that then no one with half a brain would make a bet with me again, and decided to stick around, figuring that if worst came to worst, I could always spot a bit or two from one of the guys. When the race was over, I flipped my last quarter to the man I’d made my bet with, not trying too hard to mask my disappointment. I managed to sell a few more papes on the way home, but even so I’d have to borrow a few pennies for supper. Everyone was at Tibby’s when I got there. Without my having to say a word, Kid Blink flipped me a dime. He’d seen this face enough to know the results of the race. I bought a meal and sat down, forgetting all about the race as my stomach filled. Soon I was laughing along with the rest of them, until I looked over and Jack was kissing Mary. Quickly trying to break it up, I loudly told one of those jokes that would make any girl blush, even the tough Mary Buettner. It worked, and she stopped kissing Jack and turned to me, her mouth hanging open. We all walked back to the Lodging House not long after, laughing at my joke and the events of the day. Life was great as a newsie. Little did we know what would happen the next day, or not one of us would have been smiling. That night, I couldn’t sleep, so I wandered out to the fire escape. To my surprise, Mary was already there. She turned when she heard the door creak open, but turned back to the thousands of stars without saying anything. Without a word, I joined her at the railing, enjoying the warm summer night. Finally Mary broke the silence. “Race, what do you do if you want to reach the stars, but they’re so far away you can’t see how that’s possible?” I could tell Mary wanted some advice, but I couldn’t think of anything to tell her. “I suppose you grow some wings,” I joked. Mary gave a weak laugh, and turned serious again. “If only I could,” she whispered, and all was silent for a few more moments. Finally, she turned to me. “One day, I’m going to jump in the river, and just swim away, and never come back.” “Where will you go?” I asked. Mary shrugged. “To the stars.” “You can’t swim there,” I laughed. Mary rolled her eyes. “Somewhere I belong.” I shook my head. “You belong here.” “I can’t imagine I belong anywhere,” she said. “You belong with the newsies.” “Racetrack, did I ever tell you that you’re the closest thing to a friend I ever had?” Mary asked me, and for the briefest moment I thought we were going to kiss, then she went on. “Except for Jack.” After that we stood in silence; just us, the moon, and the endless galaxies of twinkling lights. I woke up to a scream the next morning. It was obviously Mary’s, for as she was the only girl in the Lodging House she had a very distinctive voice. Thoughts of blood seeping through Mary’s golden hair filled my head, sending a shiver down my spine. I jerked awake so quickly it made my head spin. No one was around. What was going on? Running downstairs as fast as I could, I saw that Jack was tickling Mary; they’d just had one of those sickening play fights. “Hey, Race,” Jack said cheerfully when he saw me. “You sleep in late enough?” Normally, I would have easily thought of something to say back to him, but my heart was still pounding. I could see that Mary was okay, and I felt incredibly foolish. I thought about saying something back, but I’d waited so long that we’d reached a point in the conversation where it would just sound stupid, so I laughed. Jack did, too, while Mary stood there staring, eyebrows raised, as if to say, “What’s the matter with you?” I left them there to go get my papers, my face red. If Mary had been anyone but herself, this wouldn’t have bothered me one bit. What was wrong with me? I bought my papers and angrily stormed down the street, furious with everything, but mostly myself. I got to my usual selling spot (the one I went to on the days I wasn’t going to the tracks) and half-heartedly shouted made-up headlines. When the morning was nearly over, I thought I heard Mary call out my name from the next corner down, but I pretended not to hear, and the next time I looked back to where I thought I heard her, she wasn’t there. I figured it was just my imagination, as it seemed to be acting up quite a bit that day, and walked back to Tibby’s, shaking off the premonition that something was wrong. Tibby’s had the same happy atmosphere as it had the night before, and the worry from the pit of my stomach quickly faded as I slid in the booth next to a few of the guys. I dealt a hand of poker, hoping to make a few extra pennies, and just when I was about to lay down my full house and shout out that I won, I realized that Mary wasn’t there yet. Shaking off that feeling for the third time that day, I realized that I too skip lunch if I find a good enough selling spot. I laid down my hand, only to find that Snipeshooter had a royal flush. There was still no sign of Mary when we returned to the Lodging House after lunch. We normally didn’t go back there that early, but Jack was starting to get worried, too, so we went back there to see if Mary’d returned. We were just about to leave again when the door burst open, and there she was. “Mary!” I started to say, jumping out from my chair. Jack got to her first, though, and they kissed. I sat back down as quickly as I’d stood up, resolving to shoot either Jack or myself. “Bye,” I said, accidentally letting my shoulder hit against Jack’s as I left, hearing Mary say, “Honestly, what’s wrong with him lately?” as I stormed out. Had I known what would happen later that day, I’d never have let them out of my sight. You see, Mary didn’t return that night after supper, either. This time, however, she didn’t burst in as we waited by the door. At first no one was all that worried. After all, Mary was a big girl. She could take care of herself. I mean, no one worried about me, or Mush, or Specs or anyone else when they came home late. Why should they worry about Mary? She was just one of the guys. No one worried when morning rolled around and her bunk was empty. Anyone could have had an early start. We did worry when we stepped outside to find dried blood mixed in with the dirt of the street. I suddenly realized that since the day she’d come almost a year ago, Mary had never stayed out all night by herself. I could have kicked myself for not realizing that earlier and going out to find her. Jack seemed to have the same idea. As soon as he saw the blood, the color drained from his face, and he was too quiet. “It’s probably something else,” said Crutchy, making the rest of us glare at him, despite the fact that we knew he only meant to cheer us up. “We gotta go to the police,” Boots said, and no one replied at first. “We’ve got no evidence,” said David, who’d apparently joined us with Les as we stared at the blood. “We got a pile of blood, don’t we?” Jack was starting to get angry. “It coulda been anyone’s.” I resisted the urge to punch David after he said that. His intelligence was really starting to get on my nerves. “Well I ain’t just gonna stand here!” I shouted, storming off. First I went to the distribution office, where I purchased a few papers, mostly out of habit. I either walked extremely fast or ran to Central Park, because the next thing I knew, I was sitting on a bench, my face in my hands, thinking. There wasn’t much doubt in my mind that Mary was dead, and I was sure it was my fault for not listening to my premonitions. “Can I buy a paper, kid?” a boy, maybe a year or two younger than me, asked me, which surprised me, as usually I had to coax people into it with talk of murders and scandals. “Aw, sure,” I said, handing him the stack. “Go ahead and take ‘em all. Good luck with the headline. I haven’t sold a single one.” “Gee, thanks!” the boy said, selling my papers to a crowd of passers-by. After awhile, I’d still not moved from my seat and the boy came over to me. “Whatcha doing?” he asked. “What’s it to you?” I snapped. “I gave you the papes, didn’t I? Shoo, fly! Get outta here!” “Sorry,” the kid said, giving me one of those hurt puppy looks that I’d given so many times before. “You was just sitting there, and” Rolling my eyes and sighing unnaturally loud, I scooted to the other side of the bench. Much to my annoyance, the kid walked over again. “Look,” I snapped. “I gave you the papers. What, do you want my money, too?” I chucked a dime at him. Now that Mary was dead, money didn’t hold much worth. I stood up and stormed away, only to find that the kid was still following me. “What do you want?” I yelled so loud that I made a baby cry, and the woman pushing its stroller glare murderously at me. “I want to know what’s wrong.” “Why the hell do you want to know that?” I yelled, exasperated beyond belief. The kid shrugged. I could see I wasn’t going to get away from him, so I took a deep breath and poured out the entire story, starting with the day she’d come last year and finishing with the blood that stained the road. “And what did you say her name was?” the kid asked. “Mary Buettner,” I said angrily and turned back toward the Lodging House, not looking back when I heard the kid calling me. When I got back to the Lodging House, no one was there, which wasn’t surprising, as it was only about one o’clock. I was kind of hungry, so I went to Tibby’s, which proved to be very depressing. All of us were always so close, that when something happened to one of us everyone else was sad. The fact that Mary was a girl only made it worse, as all of us had a kind of big brother protectiveness toward her. Instead of planning to look for her, like I assumed we would, none of us really said much. I asked Jack if he wanted to look for her, and he got this look on his face and said, “Mary’s dead,” as if I was stupid for thinking anything else. I realized that he was probably right, but what if he wasn’t? What if Mary was lying cold and bloody, dying all alone somewhere? That thought sent me off through abandoned alleyways, softly calling her name for the rest of the day. When I came back to the Lodging House late that night, everyone was already asleep. I laid my head on the pillow, only to hear something crunch. It was a piece of paper, wrinkled and tattered, with writing in dark ink. I held it up to the moonlight and read the message: Mary Buettner is alive. I was freaked out by that message, and searched for nearly half an hour for another part of the note, asking for money, perhaps, or for me to meet her somewhere. There was nothing, though, and I eventually gave up and tried in vain to fall asleep. The next morning I showed the note to Specs, the first newsie, besides me, to get up. “What do you think?” I asked as he surveyed it, frowning. He shrugged. “Do you think we ought to show it to the bulls?” I snorted. “You kidding? Before the strike, would we have asked Warden Snyder for help finding Jack? After all the things Mary’s wanted for, they’d likely find her and handcuff her right along with her kidnapper.” Specs smiled. “Then what should we do?” I shrugged, and passed the note to Mush, who, along with a few other newsies, had joined us. “Well, what are you worried about?” Crutchy asked. “She’s fine, ain’t she?” “No, she ain’t fine!” I snapped, which I seemed to be doing a lot of lately. “If she was fine she’d be back here, not having some goon deliver a ransom note!” “Are you sure that’s what it is?” asked Dutchy. “If it were a ransom note, wouldn’t it ask for money? I had to admit that was true, but I wasn’t quite thinking clearly. “Yeah, well more’ll be coming. We gotta start saving our money. Jack, read this!” I shoved the note in Jack’s face as he stumbled out of bed. After glancing at it, he looked up. “Listen, Race, don’t you think you’re overreacting?” “No, I’m not overreacting!” I yelled. “Don’t you think you should be reacting a little more?” Jack shrugged. “Well, it seems to me, the note said nothing more than the fact that she’s alive, nothing about money or us coming to find her. Either it’s someone playing a joke, or Mary doesn’t want to come back and she sent someone to give the note so we wouldn’t worry about her. Either way, there’s not much for us to do.” Everyone nodded. “Yeah, Race, cool down,” said Kid Blink. That was the last straw. I couldn’t believe my ears. Grabbing the note from Jack’s hands and storming out of the room, I yelled back, “Yeah, well I’m sorry. I guess I thought you still cared about her.” When I got downstairs, there was a knock on the door just as I was about to leave. I flung it open, and there stood some girl I’d never seen before. Her long, copper hair was streaked with highlights from the sun, giving it the appearance of a new penny. Her blue eyes, though not very deep or thoughtful, were clear and happy, with small creases at the corners that, along with her wide, smiling mouth, suggested that she laughed quite a bit. Her freckles gave her a somewhat familiar appearance, but I was in no mood to place her. “Is Jack here?” she asked. I didn’t believe this. Mary is kidnapped and practically killed, and a few days later Jack gets a new girlfriend. “Yeah, he’s upstairs,” I mumbled, pushing coldly past the girl and practically knocking her over as I hurried outside. I ran all the way to Central Park, pushing past anyone who got in my way. I had to find that kid and make him tell me what was going on. Surprisingly, he was there, with another stack of papers. “Selling papers work good for you?” I asked. The kid nodded apprehensively. “Wanna buy one? There was this huge shipwreck off the coast of Jersey, and over half the sailors may have been lost at sea. They still haven’t found all the survivors, and” “So in other words, a small boat crashed twenty feet from the shore, injuring two of the four passengers?” I interrupted, too impatient to listen to headlines I knew were lies. The kid grinned. “Three of the passengers.” I shook my head. “Look, I got your letter! Who are you?” I shoved the note in his face, catching him off-guard and making him drop a paper off his stack. “Why?” asked the kid, looking nervous. “Cause I asked you, that’s why!” I yelled. The kid recoiled a few steps, and then grabbed the paper he dropped and ran. I chased after him a little, but I never got any closer, as he’d no doubt been a pickpocket or something all his life and acquired running skills as good as mine. Finally I stopped and punched a building, swearing afterward as I clutched my throbbing fist. Leaning against the building, I closed my eyes and tried to compose myself. When I opened them, I saw the copper-haired girl down the street. Though she was far away, I was fairly sure it was her, as that hair stuck out in a crowd. I was about to walk away when I saw her grab the hands of a taller guy, with darker hair (Jack?). To my total astonishment, she stood on her toes, and kissed him. If I really listened, I thought I could hear them laughing. Angered, I contemplated running over there and yelling at Jack, “I can’t believe it! What if she’s still alive?” Though I knew it really wasn’t any of my business, I started to march over there, only to accidentally knock some apples from a fruit vendor’s stand. Impatiently, I helped pick them up, and when I was done Jack had left, but the copper-haired girl was still there. “He has a girlfriend, you know,” I said angrily to her. She stared at me, confused, for a few moments before she recognized me. “Oh, you’re that guy from the Lodging House, right?” I nodded. “Hi,” she went on. “You know, I don’t even know your name.” “So what?” I shrugged. “I don’t know yours.” “It’s Katherine,” she said, “but you can call me Kate like everyone else does.” “Oh, can I?” I asked sarcastically. She nodded, giving me a strange look, which somehow made her look familiar again. I guess she had one of those faces. “So, were you going to tell me your name?” she asked. “It’s Racetrack.” “Hey, Racetrack.” Kate took my hand and shook it, which made me angry. I already disliked her after she kissed Jack. “So why did you come to the Lodging House?” I asked, trying to get her to confess. “Why?” She asked, looking uncomfortable. “Um...I guess I came because...uh, I had to tell your friend Jack something.” “Like what?” I asked. “Like how you want to kiss him?” Kate gave me a strange look. “No... I had to deliver a message. From a friend.” “Ah,” I said, nodding. “What kind of message?” Kate impatiently shifted her weight to her other foot, and tilted her head to the side. “You know, you’re being very rude. It’s not as if any of this is your business.” “Then whose business is it?” I asked, knowing how stupid it sounded, but unable to come up with a better comeback at the moment. “Mine and Jack’s!” she half-yelled, exasperated, then added, “and my friend’s.” By then it was starting to get late in the morning, and my stomach was starting to growl. I’d not sold any papers the past few days, and I really needed the money. Not having anything else to do, I stormed back to the distribution office. Stuffing my hand into my pocket, I tried to find a quarter. As there weren’t any, I asked, “Will you spot me some papes?” to the man behind the counter. Suddenly I remembered another time I asked that, before the strike. Moments later, I’d borrowed two bits to Jack, the money I needed for the papers, not that Weasel noticed. We’d all laughed about that afterward. That led me to realize how long it was since I’d last laughed. Sure, Mary was gone, but I couldn’t let that thought take over my life. The man tossed a small stack of papers on the counter. I gratefully scooped them up and ran to find one of the newsies. On the way, I sold papers, shouting out my fake headlines with enthusiasm that surpassed usual days. I sold quite a few of them, and soon my pockets were full of pennies, enough to finally buy myself a meal after spotting the money every night. “Hey, Bumlets!” I said, punching him good-naturedly on the shoulder when I spotted him down the street. “Race!” Bumlets nodded his greeting, but looked surprised to see me. “You’re in a good mood, considering” He stopped when he saw that my face didn’t change. “Considering what?” I asked. “You know...Mary,” Bumlets replied. I shrugged. “She’ll come back if she comes back.” It was getting harder to keep the smile on my face. “But you heard what Kate said!” Bumlets told me, then immediately remembered that I wasn’t there that morning. “What did she tell you guys?” I asked. “That Mary works at a clothes factory. She ain’t a newsie no more.” I was silent for a moment. Then, suddenly, I was all smiles. Mary wasn’t dead! She wasn’t even hurt! “Bumlets! This is great!” I shouted, I gave him a cheerful slap on the back and ran back to where I’d left Kate. “Kate!” I shouted. “Racetrack,” she said with less enthusiasm. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Without waiting for an answer, I continued. “So, where is she? Where’s Mary?” Kate smiled. “So that’s what was bothering you this morning.” “Stop it, Kate,” I whined. “Just where is she? Please?” Kate’s smile started to fade. “Mary didn’t want me to tell you guys anything. She didn’t even tell me about you for fear I would.” “Please at least just tell me,” I begged. “I won’t tell the other guys, I promise.” “Why are you so curious?” Kate asked. “After I told the other guys that she wanted to keep her whereabouts a secret, they pretty much let it go.” “Well...Do you promise you won’t tell Mary?” I began. When Kate nodded, somewhat reluctantly, I continued. “It’s ‘cause I love her.” Kate’s eyebrows rose, probably without her realizing it. After a terrible silence, she gave in. “Okay.” Kate led me guiltily back to a dirty, broken-down apartment building. “I can’t guarantee she’ll be as happy to see you as you are to see her,” she told me, but I didn’t care. Nothing could spoil the mood I was in... or so I thought. As we walked up the narrow staircase, a thought occurred to me. “If Mary didn’t tell you about us, how did you know to tell us she was okay?” “Well, I heard you scaring the living daylights out of some kid in the park, so I decided to listen, and I heard that you were talking about Mary,” Kate replied, in a tone that suggested she thought it was perfectly obvious. I resolved to give that kid as many free papers as he could possibly ask for the next time I saw him. “So, this is where we live,” Kate said as she opened the door to a dimly lit cave of an apartment room. “Nice,” I said, making Kate laugh. “You live here with Mary?” Kate nodded. “She’s my cousin.” So that was why the freckles and the eyebrow raising looked so familiar! I couldn’t wait another moment. “Where’s Mary?” Kate looked confused, too. “I don’t know. She’s usually back from the factory by now.” She called Mary’s name a few times, and then turned to me, shrugging. “What’s this?” I asked, spotting a note stuck in the crack between the glass and the frame of the window. Kate shrugged and went to collect the note. “Tell Race I grew some wings?” she read aloud. “Do you know what that means?” she asked me. I nodded in shock for a few seconds. “I think I know.” Grabbing Kate’s hand, I ran as fast as I could and ran toward the Brooklyn Bridge. “Where are you going?” Kate gasped between breaths as we ran. “East River,” I replied. Although I was a good runner, it was still quite a distance to the East River. I could have kicked myself for not trying to stop Mary before. I guess I never thought she was stupid enough to try swimming away by herself. I wasn’t even sure she knew how to swim. It began to drizzle, which progressed to rain, and eventually it was pouring. The streets became deserted as lightening and hail began to fill the sky. Soon the wind picked up, and I could barely see where I was going. “Race, we’ve got to run for shelter!” Kate yelled. I could hardly hear her voice over the storm. “We can’t leave Mary out in this!” I shouted back. I could hardly hear my own voice. We kept running until we reached the Brooklyn Bridge. I saw a spot out in the middle of a river, and I knew all too well who it was. I knew better than to run to the middle of the bridge and jump off, although I knew it would go faster than to swim from the bank. However, that was what I needed to do. “Stay here!” I shouted at Kate. I could barely make out her “What?” “Stay here!” I yelled even louder, and I was fairly sure she heard me. I jumped off the banks into the churning water. It was cold, but not as cold as the air had suddenly become. As it was much calmer underwater, I swam swiftly beneath the surface, coming up a few times for air. Now that I was out in the water, I couldn’t see Mary. All I could see was the waves that were splashing over my head, blocking the precious air from filling my lungs. I knew I was running out of time. I knew I’d heard somewhere that someone could only go about four minutes without air before they passed out, after which they passed out, and if they were unconscious, they wouldn’t be able to swim. I had no idea how long Mary’d been out here. Diving underwater to the cool serenity, I started to swim farther. I opened my eyes, which stung as the murky water filled them. I closed them again as quickly as I’d opened them, but I’d still had time to see the calm shape near the bottom. Mary. Deciding not to waste the time to come up for a breath before I saved her, I swam swiftly to the bottom. I soon regret my decision not to come up for air, as my lungs were burning with carbon dioxide that needed to be exhaled. Still, it was too late to get back, and I pressed on toward Mary. Finally I reached her. Her long hair, which was dark and streaked with seaweed, was floating all around her head, and her eyes were closed. Her lips were slightly parted, and she looked as calm as an angel. I was filled with fury. Humans weren’t supposed to look that calm. It wasn’t human; it wasn’t...lifelike. I grabbed her shoulders, and yanked her up from the shore, making her head bob back and forth. Now that her clothes, hair, and shoes were filled with water, she was a lot heavier than she looked, and I struggled toward the surface. The surface was so far up- or at least it seemed that way, as there was no sun to guide me toward the top, only the gray storm. The pain in my lungs was so great, that I finally gave up, and let my body relax. I moved my head over, for one last look around, and saw Mary’s dark lips twitch, contrasting greatly against her pearl-white face. That twitch gave me a burst of energy, and I tried to breath in the cool air, but instead inhaled a wave full of water. I began to choke, but I couldn’t stop. Struggling to hold Mary’s head above water, I struggled to get us to bank. I spotted Kate’s hair, still copper, though a bit dull from the rain, and swam toward it. When I got close enough, I could see that she was crying, her face buried in her hands. “Kate!” I called, my voice lost in the wind. I couldn’t hold up my weight and Mary’s any longer, and a large wave surrounded me, once again cutting off my precious supply of air. I tried to make a splashing noise, and evidently it was loud, because the next thing I knew Kate was gently pulling Mary from my arms. Kate held onto her for a few seconds, giving me a chance to catch my breath. Then, my energy restored, I took Mary back and swam swiftly to bank. Finally, I collapsed at the muddy bank of the river, letting Mary lie next to me. Kate joined us after a few minutes, hissing, “Race, get up!” Reluctantly, I sat up, my head spinning. “What?” “She’s not breathing.” It felt like my heart stopped, and after that everything was in slow motion. Remembering the silliest advice from I don’t even know where, I plugged Mary’s nose and breathed into her lungs, pushing my air out when I was done. Kate must have thought I was trying to kiss Mary, because I could feel her pulling on my shirt. I kept on breathing for Mary, though, until something absolutely amazing happened. Mary coughed out some water, and opened her eyes, just as I was about to breath some more air into her. The first thing she saw was my eyes. She peered confusedly into them for a few moments, until I saw the recognition in her face. “Racetrack.” she whispered. I nodded. “You’re okay.” Suddenly, Mary realized what was going on and sat up. “Get off me,” she said, pushing me away. “I don’t need a boy to rescue me.” I laughed. Mary was back. It was still storming though, so there was no time to talk. “Come on,” I said, and she, Kate, and I ran back to the apartment, shielding our faces with our arms from the razor-sharp rain hitting our flesh. When we finally got inside, Mary and I talked over a few cups of steaming hot coffee, while Kate, knowing how much we had to catch up on, went to a neighbor’s room, giving us privacy. “Well?” I finally asked. “Why did you do it? Jump in the river?” Mary shrugged. “I was just so...frustrated with everything. I once told you that I wanted to swim, to be free, to get away. It- it was a hot day, and the river looked inviting. I figured I’d never find a better day to swim, so I went for it. Then it started to storm.” I nodded, but unable to find something to say, let silence fill the room. Finally I spoke. “Mary, you really hurt me when you left. There’s something I never told you. I...love you.” Mary stared at me, her eyes wide, and her mouth trembling slightly, either from the cold or her emotions. Suddenly, we were kissing, and it was a kiss that was worth all the worrying and daydreams. Abruptly, Mary pulled her head away, surprising me as much as the kiss had. “I love Jack,” she whispered. “And I still can’t stay here.” I slowly nodded, letting the truth sink in, and trying to smile weakly. It was all too much. “Have a nice life,” I said, and stormed out, letting the door slam behind me. The storm had begun to die down; all that was left of it was rain. I wasn’t in the mood to go to Tibby’s or the Lodging House to find any of the guys. I actually had no idea what time it was, as the sun was hidden behind the clouds. I sat down on a curb, and realized that I had a few more papers to sell. I pulled them out from my vest, and found that the ink had run off the wet paper, staining my shirt and my hands. Shrugging, I tossed them aside, watching a river of water rush them into a nearby gutter. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been sitting there, but soon enough, I heard my name being called. I looked, and saw Mary running toward me. “I broke up with Jack,” she said when she got near enough to have a conversation. By then, it was merely drizzling, but everything was wet enough to make this about the least romantic scene you could expect. Still, I grabbed her shoulders, and we kissed. This time, I was the one to break the kiss. “Why didn’t you tell us you were leaving? And what was with the blood? And the note? Do you have any idea how worried I was?” Mary’s smile faded, and for a moment she looked angry, though not with me. “Damn it Race, I did it all so you wouldn’t come looking for me!” I laughed sadly. “You thought that if there was a chance you were alive, I’d just leave you there? Is that how low your opinion of me is?” Now Mary did look angry with me. “I broke up with Jack for you, you know! You could at least be grateful!” I was angry, too. “You want my gratitude? I thought you did it because you loved me back, not because you wanted my gratitude!” Mary punched me in the cheek (always quite the lady) and turned around to stomp off. I was angry for a moment or so, too, and then she got to me, like she always did. My heart softened. When did life get this complicated? I wished everything were as simple as the fact that I loved Mary and Mary loved me, but it wasn’t. I realized that when life gets complicated, someone had to give in. As I was dealing with Mary Buettner, I knew that person had to be me. “Mary!” I called. She stopped, and whipped her head around, her clumps of wet hair sending off showers of water. I was about to apologize, but she spoke first. “I love you, too!” She ran to me, and we kissed again. This time, I held onto her cheeks, and when she stepped back, the ink from the papers was smudged on her face. “But I can’t stay here,” she whispered. I studied her eyes for a few moments, and I could see that she really wanted to get away from New York. She shivered slightly, and without hesitation, I took off my vest and draped it around her shoulders, hoping to warm her up a little. “If you’re ever in the city...” I whispered. “I’ll look you up.” she finished for me, and we both laughed. With a final kiss, she left. I slept soundly for the first time since Mary’d left that night. When I woke up, I told all the jokes I’d been too depressed to tell the last few days. I was in a good mood; I felt like a newsie again. And life improved even more when I went to Tibby’s for lunch. Mary was there, holding my vest. “I thought you might need,” was all she said before we were kissing. Life was good. Mary Buettner was back. The End When Life Gets Complicated By Sarol April 23, 2002 From a short distance, both of her eyes appeared blue, but when you got close enough, you could see that one was slightly green and the other slightly gray. Her hair was like sunshine- thick layers of varying shades of gold. On most days she let it hang loosely down her back, held back only by her faded navy hat. As it was nearing August, her tan face and arms were kissed with freckles from countless hours of selling papers in the sun. She was like the Spot Conlon of females- she could soak any girl that got in her way, and even some guys, too. She was frequently patching up the rips and tears that graced the knees of her skirts, though it seemed as soon as they were fixed she’d get in another fight and have to sew them up again. Her longtime boyfriend was Jack Kelly; together they ruled as king and queen of the Manhattan newsies. At first no one thought it would last long, as Jack had had too many girlfriends over the past few years to count. In fact, he’d been going out with Sarah Jacobs, the sister of one of the other newsies, when this golden-haired girl first came to the Lodging House about a month after the strike. Needless to say, Jack dropped poor Sarah pretty fast, and since then- almost a whole month, Jack’s been as in love with this girl as the day she came. Which presented a problem, or for me anyway. I’ve been in love with this girl, maybe even more so than Jack, since the second she lit up her room with her smile so long ago. I pretty much let Jack have her, telling myself that my friendship with him meant more than a girl could, and also subconsciously planning on swooping in and being the hero when Jack dumped her. Since that obviously never happened, we’ve developed a relationship as buddies, and she’s no different than just one of the guys to everyone but Jack and me. I suppose I brought this all upon myself by not acting when I had the chance, but it was too late to do anything but dream. Her name was Mary Buettner, and I guess it’s true that beauty is in the flaws, because with her different colored eyes and freckles, dear me, she was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. As long as we’re on introductions, I’ll tell you about myself. My name is Tony Higgins, although if you call me that I can’t guarantee I’ll respond right away. Ever since I discovered the glory of betting when I ran away ten years ago, I’ve been known as Racetrack. Most days you’ll find me with my stack of papes at the Sheepshed Races, earning enough money for a plate at Tibby’s, from the betting as much as from the papers. Crack! The gunshot sounded, starting the race and the shouts of the audience, and jerking me back to reality. I could see that the horse I’d foolishly bet the rest of yesterday’s money on had virtually no chance of winning. Swearing under my breath at my own stupidity of making that mistake again, I considered slipping out before the race was over and I’d have to pay up. However, I knew that then no one with half a brain would make a bet with me again, and decided to stick around, figuring that if worst came to worst, I could always spot a bit or two from one of the guys. When the race was over, I flipped my last quarter to the man I’d made my bet with, not trying too hard to mask my disappointment. I managed to sell a few more papes on the way home, but even so I’d have to borrow a few pennies for supper. Everyone was at Tibby’s when I got there. Without my having to say a word, Kid Blink flipped me a dime. He’d seen this face enough to know the results of the race. I bought a meal and sat down, forgetting all about the race as my stomach filled. Soon I was laughing along with the rest of them, until I looked over and Jack was kissing Mary. Quickly trying to break it up, I loudly told one of those jokes that would make any girl blush, even the tough Mary Buettner. It worked, and she stopped kissing Jack and turned to me, her mouth hanging open. We all walked back to the Lodging House not long after, laughing at my joke and the events of the day. Life was great as a newsie. Little did we know what would happen the next day, or not one of us would have been smiling. That night, I couldn’t sleep, so I wandered out to the fire escape. To my surprise, Mary was already there. She turned when she heard the door creak open, but turned back to the thousands of stars without saying anything. Without a word, I joined her at the railing, enjoying the warm summer night. Finally Mary broke the silence. “Race, what do you do if you want to reach the stars, but they’re so far away you can’t see how that’s possible?” I could tell Mary wanted some advice, but I couldn’t think of anything to tell her. “I suppose you grow some wings,” I joked. Mary gave a weak laugh, and turned serious again. “If only I could,” she whispered, and all was silent for a few more moments. Finally, she turned to me. “One day, I’m going to jump in the river, and just swim away, and never come back.” “Where will you go?” I asked. Mary shrugged. “To the stars.” “You can’t swim there,” I laughed. Mary rolled her eyes. “Somewhere I belong.” I shook my head. “You belong here.” “I can’t imagine I belong anywhere,” she said. “You belong with the newsies.” “Racetrack, did I ever tell you that you’re the closest thing to a friend I ever had?” Mary asked me, and for the briefest moment I thought we were going to kiss, then she went on. “Except for Jack.” After that we stood in silence; just us, the moon, and the endless galaxies of twinkling lights. I woke up to a scream the next morning. It was obviously Mary’s, for as she was the only girl in the Lodging House she had a very distinctive voice. Thoughts of blood seeping through Mary’s golden hair filled my head, sending a shiver down my spine. I jerked awake so quickly it made my head spin. No one was around. What was going on? Running downstairs as fast as I could, I saw that Jack was tickling Mary; they’d just had one of those sickening play fights. “Hey, Race,” Jack said cheerfully when he saw me. “You sleep in late enough?” Normally, I would have easily thought of something to say back to him, but my heart was still pounding. I could see that Mary was okay, and I felt incredibly foolish. I thought about saying something back, but I’d waited so long that we’d reached a point in the conversation where it would just sound stupid, so I laughed. Jack did, too, while Mary stood there staring, eyebrows raised, as if to say, “What’s the matter with you?” I left them there to go get my papers, my face red. If Mary had been anyone but herself, this wouldn’t have bothered me one bit. What was wrong with me? I bought my papers and angrily stormed down the street, furious with everything, but mostly myself. I got to my usual selling spot (the one I went to on the days I wasn’t going to the tracks) and half-heartedly shouted made-up headlines. When the morning was nearly over, I thought I heard Mary call out my name from the next corner down, but I pretended not to hear, and the next time I looked back to where I thought I heard her, she wasn’t there. I figured it was just my imagination, as it seemed to be acting up quite a bit that day, and walked back to Tibby’s, shaking off the premonition that something was wrong. Tibby’s had the same happy atmosphere as it had the night before, and the worry from the pit of my stomach quickly faded as I slid in the booth next to a few of the guys. I dealt a hand of poker, hoping to make a few extra pennies, and just when I was about to lay down my full house and shout out that I won, I realized that Mary wasn’t there yet. Shaking off that feeling for the third time that day, I realized that I too skip lunch if I find a good enough selling spot. I laid down my hand, only to find that Snipeshooter had a royal flush. There was still no sign of Mary when we returned to the Lodging House after lunch. We normally didn’t go back there that early, but Jack was starting to get worried, too, so we went back there to see if Mary’d returned. We were just about to leave again when the door burst open, and there she was. “Mary!” I started to say, jumping out from my chair. Jack got to her first, though, and they kissed. I sat back down as quickly as I’d stood up, resolving to shoot either Jack or myself. “Bye,” I said, accidentally letting my shoulder hit against Jack’s as I left, hearing Mary say, “Honestly, what’s wrong with him lately?” as I stormed out. Had I known what would happen later that day, I’d never have let them out of my sight. You see, Mary didn’t return that night after supper, either. This time, however, she didn’t burst in as we waited by the door. At first no one was all that worried. After all, Mary was a big girl. She could take care of herself. I mean, no one worried about me, or Mush, or Specs or anyone else when they came home late. Why should they worry about Mary? She was just one of the guys. No one worried when morning rolled around and her bunk was empty. Anyone could have had an early start. We did worry when we stepped outside to find dried blood mixed in with the dirt of the street. I suddenly realized that since the day she’d come almost a year ago, Mary had never stayed out all night by herself. I could have kicked myself for not realizing that earlier and going out to find her. Jack seemed to have the same idea. As soon as he saw the blood, the color drained from his face, and he was too quiet. “It’s probably something else,” said Crutchy, making the rest of us glare at him, despite the fact that we knew he only meant to cheer us up. “We gotta go to the police,” Boots said, and no one replied at first. “We’ve got no evidence,” said David, who’d apparently joined us with Les as we stared at the blood. “We got a pile of blood, don’t we?” Jack was starting to get angry. “It coulda been anyone’s.” I resisted the urge to punch David after he said that. His intelligence was really starting to get on my nerves. “Well I ain’t just gonna stand here!” I shouted, storming off. First I went to the distribution office, where I purchased a few papers, mostly out of habit. I either walked extremely fast or ran to Central Park, because the next thing I knew, I was sitting on a bench, my face in my hands, thinking. There wasn’t much doubt in my mind that Mary was dead, and I was sure it was my fault for not listening to my premonitions. “Can I buy a paper, kid?” a boy, maybe a year or two younger than me, asked me, which surprised me, as usually I had to coax people into it with talk of murders and scandals. “Aw, sure,” I said, handing him the stack. “Go ahead and take ‘em all. Good luck with the headline. I haven’t sold a single one.” “Gee, thanks!” the boy said, selling my papers to a crowd of passers-by. After awhile, I’d still not moved from my seat and the boy came over to me. “Whatcha doing?” he asked. “What’s it to you?” I snapped. “I gave you the papes, didn’t I? Shoo, fly! Get outta here!” “Sorry,” the kid said, giving me one of those hurt puppy looks that I’d given so many times before. “You was just sitting there, and” Rolling my eyes and sighing unnaturally loud, I scooted to the other side of the bench. Much to my annoyance, the kid walked over again. “Look,” I snapped. “I gave you the papers. What, do you want my money, too?” I chucked a dime at him. Now that Mary was dead, money didn’t hold much worth. I stood up and stormed away, only to find that the kid was still following me. “What do you want?” I yelled so loud that I made a baby cry, and the woman pushing its stroller glare murderously at me. “I want to know what’s wrong.” “Why the hell do you want to know that?” I yelled, exasperated beyond belief. The kid shrugged. I could see I wasn’t going to get away from him, so I took a deep breath and poured out the entire story, starting with the day she’d come last year and finishing with the blood that stained the road. “And what did you say her name was?” the kid asked. “Mary Buettner,” I said angrily and turned back toward the Lodging House, not looking back when I heard the kid calling me. When I got back to the Lodging House, no one was there, which wasn’t surprising, as it was only about one o’clock. I was kind of hungry, so I went to Tibby’s, which proved to be very depressing. All of us were always so close, that when something happened to one of us everyone else was sad. The fact that Mary was a girl only made it worse, as all of us had a kind of big brother protectiveness toward her. Instead of planning to look for her, like I assumed we would, none of us really said much. I asked Jack if he wanted to look for her, and he got this look on his face and said, “Mary’s dead,” as if I was stupid for thinking anything else. I realized that he was probably right, but what if he wasn’t? What if Mary was lying cold and bloody, dying all alone somewhere? That thought sent me off through abandoned alleyways, softly calling her name for the rest of the day. When I came back to the Lodging House late that night, everyone was already asleep. I laid my head on the pillow, only to hear something crunch. It was a piece of paper, wrinkled and tattered, with writing in dark ink. I held it up to the moonlight and read the message: Mary Buettner is alive. I was freaked out by that message, and searched for nearly half an hour for another part of the note, asking for money, perhaps, or for me to meet her somewhere. There was nothing, though, and I eventually gave up and tried in vain to fall asleep. The next morning I showed the note to Specs, the first newsie, besides me, to get up. “What do you think?” I asked as he surveyed it, frowning. He shrugged. “Do you think we ought to show it to the bulls?” I snorted. “You kidding? Before the strike, would we have asked Warden Snyder for help finding Jack? After all the things Mary’s wanted for, they’d likely find her and handcuff her right along with her kidnapper.” Specs smiled. “Then what should we do?” I shrugged, and passed the note to Mush, who, along with a few other newsies, had joined us. “Well, what are you worried about?” Crutchy asked. “She’s fine, ain’t she?” “No, she ain’t fine!” I snapped, which I seemed to be doing a lot of lately. “If she was fine she’d be back here, not having some goon deliver a ransom note!” “Are you sure that’s what it is?” asked Dutchy. “If it were a ransom note, wouldn’t it ask for money? I had to admit that was true, but I wasn’t quite thinking clearly. “Yeah, well more’ll be coming. We gotta start saving our money. Jack, read this!” I shoved the note in Jack’s face as he stumbled out of bed. After glancing at it, he looked up. “Listen, Race, don’t you think you’re overreacting?” “No, I’m not overreacting!” I yelled. “Don’t you think you should be reacting a little more?” Jack shrugged. “Well, it seems to me, the note said nothing more than the fact that she’s alive, nothing about money or us coming to find her. Either it’s someone playing a joke, or Mary doesn’t want to come back and she sent someone to give the note so we wouldn’t worry about her. Either way, there’s not much for us to do.” Everyone nodded. “Yeah, Race, cool down,” said Kid Blink. That was the last straw. I couldn’t believe my ears. Grabbing the note from Jack’s hands and storming out of the room, I yelled back, “Yeah, well I’m sorry. I guess I thought you still cared about her.” When I got downstairs, there was a knock on the door just as I was about to leave. I flung it open, and there stood some girl I’d never seen before. Her long, copper hair was streaked with highlights from the sun, giving it the appearance of a new penny. Her blue eyes, though not very deep or thoughtful, were clear and happy, with small creases at the corners that, along with her wide, smiling mouth, suggested that she laughed quite a bit. Her freckles gave her a somewhat familiar appearance, but I was in no mood to place her. “Is Jack here?” she asked. I didn’t believe this. Mary is kidnapped and practically killed, and a few days later Jack gets a new girlfriend. “Yeah, he’s upstairs,” I mumbled, pushing coldly past the girl and practically knocking her over as I hurried outside. I ran all the way to Central Park, pushing past anyone who got in my way. I had to find that kid and make him tell me what was going on. Surprisingly, he was there, with another stack of papers. “Selling papers work good for you?” I asked. The kid nodded apprehensively. “Wanna buy one? There was this huge shipwreck off the coast of Jersey, and over half the sailors may have been lost at sea. They still haven’t found all the survivors, and” “So in other words, a small boat crashed twenty feet from the shore, injuring two of the four passengers?” I interrupted, too impatient to listen to headlines I knew were lies. The kid grinned. “Three of the passengers.” I shook my head. “Look, I got your letter! Who are you?” I shoved the note in his face, catching him off-guard and making him drop a paper off his stack. “Why?” asked the kid, looking nervous. “Cause I asked you, that’s why!” I yelled. The kid recoiled a few steps, and then grabbed the paper he dropped and ran. I chased after him a little, but I never got any closer, as he’d no doubt been a pickpocket or something all his life and acquired running skills as good as mine. Finally I stopped and punched a building, swearing afterward as I clutched my throbbing fist. Leaning against the building, I closed my eyes and tried to compose myself. When I opened them, I saw the copper-haired girl down the street. Though she was far away, I was fairly sure it was her, as that hair stuck out in a crowd. I was about to walk away when I saw her grab the hands of a taller guy, with darker hair (Jack?). To my total astonishment, she stood on her toes, and kissed him. If I really listened, I thought I could hear them laughing. Angered, I contemplated running over there and yelling at Jack, “I can’t believe it! What if she’s still alive?” Though I knew it really wasn’t any of my business, I started to march over there, only to accidentally knock some apples from a fruit vendor’s stand. Impatiently, I helped pick them up, and when I was done Jack had left, but the copper-haired girl was still there. “He has a girlfriend, you know,” I said angrily to her. She stared at me, confused, for a few moments before she recognized me. “Oh, you’re that guy from the Lodging House, right?” I nodded. “Hi,” she went on. “You know, I don’t even know your name.” “So what?” I shrugged. “I don’t know yours.” “It’s Katherine,” she said, “but you can call me Kate like everyone else does.” “Oh, can I?” I asked sarcastically. She nodded, giving me a strange look, which somehow made her look familiar again. I guess she had one of those faces. “So, were you going to tell me your name?” she asked. “It’s Racetrack.” “Hey, Racetrack.” Kate took my hand and shook it, which made me angry. I already disliked her after she kissed Jack. “So why did you come to the Lodging House?” I asked, trying to get her to confess. “Why?” She asked, looking uncomfortable. “Um...I guess I came because...uh, I had to tell your friend Jack something.” “Like what?” I asked. “Like how you want to kiss him?” Kate gave me a strange look. “No... I had to deliver a message. From a friend.” “Ah,” I said, nodding. “What kind of message?” Kate impatiently shifted her weight to her other foot, and tilted her head to the side. “You know, you’re being very rude. It’s not as if any of this is your business.” “Then whose business is it?” I asked, knowing how stupid it sounded, but unable to come up with a better comeback at the moment. “Mine and Jack’s!” she half-yelled, exasperated, then added, “and my friend’s.” By then it was starting to get late in the morning, and my stomach was starting to growl. I’d not sold any papers the past few days, and I really needed the money. Not having anything else to do, I stormed back to the distribution office. Stuffing my hand into my pocket, I tried to find a quarter. As there weren’t any, I asked, “Will you spot me some papes?” to the man behind the counter. Suddenly I remembered another time I asked that, before the strike. Moments later, I’d borrowed two bits to Jack, the money I needed for the papers, not that Weasel noticed. We’d all laughed about that afterward. That led me to realize how long it was since I’d last laughed. Sure, Mary was gone, but I couldn’t let that thought take over my life. The man tossed a small stack of papers on the counter. I gratefully scooped them up and ran to find one of the newsies. On the way, I sold papers, shouting out my fake headlines with enthusiasm that surpassed usual days. I sold quite a few of them, and soon my pockets were full of pennies, enough to finally buy myself a meal after spotting the money every night. “Hey, Bumlets!” I said, punching him good-naturedly on the shoulder when I spotted him down the street. “Race!” Bumlets nodded his greeting, but looked surprised to see me. “You’re in a good mood, considering” He stopped when he saw that my face didn’t change. “Considering what?” I asked. “You know...Mary,” Bumlets replied. I shrugged. “She’ll come back if she comes back.” It was getting harder to keep the smile on my face. “But you heard what Kate said!” Bumlets told me, then immediately remembered that I wasn’t there that morning. “What did she tell you guys?” I asked. “That Mary works at a clothes factory. She ain’t a newsie no more.” I was silent for a moment. Then, suddenly, I was all smiles. Mary wasn’t dead! She wasn’t even hurt! “Bumlets! This is great!” I shouted, I gave him a cheerful slap on the back and ran back to where I’d left Kate. “Kate!” I shouted. “Racetrack,” she said with less enthusiasm. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Without waiting for an answer, I continued. “So, where is she? Where’s Mary?” Kate smiled. “So that’s what was bothering you this morning.” “Stop it, Kate,” I whined. “Just where is she? Please?” Kate’s smile started to fade. “Mary didn’t want me to tell you guys anything. She didn’t even tell me about you for fear I would.” “Please at least just tell me,” I begged. “I won’t tell the other guys, I promise.” “Why are you so curious?” Kate asked. “After I told the other guys that she wanted to keep her whereabouts a secret, they pretty much let it go.” “Well...Do you promise you won’t tell Mary?” I began. When Kate nodded, somewhat reluctantly, I continued. “It’s ‘cause I love her.” Kate’s eyebrows rose, probably without her realizing it. After a terrible silence, she gave in. “Okay.” Kate led me guiltily back to a dirty, broken-down apartment building. “I can’t guarantee she’ll be as happy to see you as you are to see her,” she told me, but I didn’t care. Nothing could spoil the mood I was in... or so I thought. As we walked up the narrow staircase, a thought occurred to me. “If Mary didn’t tell you about us, how did you know to tell us she was okay?” “Well, I heard you scaring the living daylights out of some kid in the park, so I decided to listen, and I heard that you were talking about Mary,” Kate replied, in a tone that suggested she thought it was perfectly obvious. I resolved to give that kid as many free papers as he could possibly ask for the next time I saw him. “So, this is where we live,” Kate said as she opened the door to a dimly lit cave of an apartment room. “Nice,” I said, making Kate laugh. “You live here with Mary?” Kate nodded. “She’s my cousin.” So that was why the freckles and the eyebrow raising looked so familiar! I couldn’t wait another moment. “Where’s Mary?” Kate looked confused, too. “I don’t know. She’s usually back from the factory by now.” She called Mary’s name a few times, and then turned to me, shrugging. “What’s this?” I asked, spotting a note stuck in the crack between the glass and the frame of the window. Kate shrugged and went to collect the note. “Tell Race I grew some wings?” she read aloud. “Do you know what that means?” she asked me. I nodded in shock for a few seconds. “I think I know.” Grabbing Kate’s hand, I ran as fast as I could and ran toward the Brooklyn Bridge. “Where are you going?” Kate gasped between breaths as we ran. “East River,” I replied. Although I was a good runner, it was still quite a distance to the East River. I could have kicked myself for not trying to stop Mary before. I guess I never thought she was stupid enough to try swimming away by herself. I wasn’t even sure she knew how to swim. It began to drizzle, which progressed to rain, and eventually it was pouring. The streets became deserted as lightening and hail began to fill the sky. Soon the wind picked up, and I could barely see where I was going. “Race, we’ve got to run for shelter!” Kate yelled. I could hardly hear her voice over the storm. “We can’t leave Mary out in this!” I shouted back. I could hardly hear my own voice. We kept running until we reached the Brooklyn Bridge. I saw a spot out in the middle of a river, and I knew all too well who it was. I knew better than to run to the middle of the bridge and jump off, although I knew it would go faster than to swim from the bank. However, that was what I needed to do. “Stay here!” I shouted at Kate. I could barely make out her “What?” “Stay here!” I yelled even louder, and I was fairly sure she heard me. I jumped off the banks into the churning water. It was cold, but not as cold as the air had suddenly become. As it was much calmer underwater, I swam swiftly beneath the surface, coming up a few times for air. Now that I was out in the water, I couldn’t see Mary. All I could see was the waves that were splashing over my head, blocking the precious air from filling my lungs. I knew I was running out of time. I knew I’d heard somewhere that someone could only go about four minutes without air before they passed out, after which they passed out, and if they were unconscious, they wouldn’t be able to swim. I had no idea how long Mary’d been out here. Diving underwater to the cool serenity, I started to swim farther. I opened my eyes, which stung as the murky water filled them. I closed them again as quickly as I’d opened them, but I’d still had time to see the calm shape near the bottom. Mary. Deciding not to waste the time to come up for a breath before I saved her, I swam swiftly to the bottom. I soon regret my decision not to come up for air, as my lungs were burning with carbon dioxide that needed to be exhaled. Still, it was too late to get back, and I pressed on toward Mary. Finally I reached her. Her long hair, which was dark and streaked with seaweed, was floating all around her head, and her eyes were closed. Her lips were slightly parted, and she looked as calm as an angel. I was filled with fury. Humans weren’t supposed to look that calm. It wasn’t human; it wasn’t...lifelike. I grabbed her shoulders, and yanked her up from the shore, making her head bob back and forth. Now that her clothes, hair, and shoes were filled with water, she was a lot heavier than she looked, and I struggled toward the surface. The surface was so far up- or at least it seemed that way, as there was no sun to guide me toward the top, only the gray storm. The pain in my lungs was so great, that I finally gave up, and let my body relax. I moved my head over, for one last look around, and saw Mary’s dark lips twitch, contrasting greatly against her pearl-white face. That twitch gave me a burst of energy, and I tried to breath in the cool air, but instead inhaled a wave full of water. I began to choke, but I couldn’t stop. Struggling to hold Mary’s head above water, I struggled to get us to bank. I spotted Kate’s hair, still copper, though a bit dull from the rain, and swam toward it. When I got close enough, I could see that she was crying, her face buried in her hands. “Kate!” I called, my voice lost in the wind. I couldn’t hold up my weight and Mary’s any longer, and a large wave surrounded me, once again cutting off my precious supply of air. I tried to make a splashing noise, and evidently it was loud, because the next thing I knew Kate was gently pulling Mary from my arms. Kate held onto her for a few seconds, giving me a chance to catch my breath. Then, my energy restored, I took Mary back and swam swiftly to bank. Finally, I collapsed at the muddy bank of the river, letting Mary lie next to me. Kate joined us after a few minutes, hissing, “Race, get up!” Reluctantly, I sat up, my head spinning. “What?” “She’s not breathing.” It felt like my heart stopped, and after that everything was in slow motion. Remembering the silliest advice from I don’t even know where, I plugged Mary’s nose and breathed into her lungs, pushing my air out when I was done. Kate must have thought I was trying to kiss Mary, because I could feel her pulling on my shirt. I kept on breathing for Mary, though, until something absolutely amazing happened. Mary coughed out some water, and opened her eyes, just as I was about to breath some more air into her. The first thing she saw was my eyes. She peered confusedly into them for a few moments, until I saw the recognition in her face. “Racetrack.” she whispered. I nodded. “You’re okay.” Suddenly, Mary realized what was going on and sat up. “Get off me,” she said, pushing me away. “I don’t need a boy to rescue me.” I laughed. Mary was back. It was still storming though, so there was no time to talk. “Come on,” I said, and she, Kate, and I ran back to the apartment, shielding our faces with our arms from the razor-sharp rain hitting our flesh. When we finally got inside, Mary and I talked over a few cups of steaming hot coffee, while Kate, knowing how much we had to catch up on, went to a neighbor’s room, giving us privacy. “Well?” I finally asked. “Why did you do it? Jump in the river?” Mary shrugged. “I was just so...frustrated with everything. I once told you that I wanted to swim, to be free, to get away. It- it was a hot day, and the river looked inviting. I figured I’d never find a better day to swim, so I went for it. Then it started to storm.” I nodded, but unable to find something to say, let silence fill the room. Finally I spoke. “Mary, you really hurt me when you left. There’s something I never told you. I...love you.” Mary stared at me, her eyes wide, and her mouth trembling slightly, either from the cold or her emotions. Suddenly, we were kissing, and it was a kiss that was worth all the worrying and daydreams. Abruptly, Mary pulled her head away, surprising me as much as the kiss had. “I love Jack,” she whispered. “And I still can’t stay here.” I slowly nodded, letting the truth sink in, and trying to smile weakly. It was all too much. “Have a nice life,” I said, and stormed out, letting the door slam behind me. The storm had begun to die down; all that was left of it was rain. I wasn’t in the mood to go to Tibby’s or the Lodging House to find any of the guys. I actually had no idea what time it was, as the sun was hidden behind the clouds. I sat down on a curb, and realized that I had a few more papers to sell. I pulled them out from my vest, and found that the ink had run off the wet paper, staining my shirt and my hands. Shrugging, I tossed them aside, watching a river of water rush them into a nearby gutter. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been sitting there, but soon enough, I heard my name being called. I looked, and saw Mary running toward me. “I broke up with Jack,” she said when she got near enough to have a conversation. By then, it was merely drizzling, but everything was wet enough to make this about the least romantic scene you could expect. Still, I grabbed her shoulders, and we kissed. This time, I was the one to break the kiss. “Why didn’t you tell us you were leaving? And what was with the blood? And the note? Do you have any idea how worried I was?” Mary’s smile faded, and for a moment she looked angry, though not with me. “Damn it Race, I did it all so you wouldn’t come looking for me!” I laughed sadly. “You thought that if there was a chance you were alive, I’d just leave you there? Is that how low your opinion of me is?” Now Mary did look angry with me. “I broke up with Jack for you, you know! You could at least be grateful!” I was angry, too. “You want my gratitude? I thought you did it because you loved me back, not because you wanted my gratitude!” Mary punched me in the cheek (always quite the lady) and turned around to stomp off. I was angry for a moment or so, too, and then she got to me, like she always did. My heart softened. When did life get this complicated? I wished everything were as simple as the fact that I loved Mary and Mary loved me, but it wasn’t. I realized that when life gets complicated, someone had to give in. As I was dealing with Mary Buettner, I knew that person had to be me. “Mary!” I called. She stopped, and whipped her head around, her clumps of wet hair sending off showers of water. I was about to apologize, but she spoke first. “I love you, too!” She ran to me, and we kissed again. This time, I held onto her cheeks, and when she stepped back, the ink from the papers was smudged on her face. “But I can’t stay here,” she whispered. I studied her eyes for a few moments, and I could see that she really wanted to get away from New York. She shivered slightly, and without hesitation, I took off my vest and draped it around her shoulders, hoping to warm her up a little. “If you’re ever in the city...” I whispered. “I’ll look you up.” she finished for me, and we both laughed. With a final kiss, she left. I slept soundly for the first time since Mary’d left that night. When I woke up, I told all the jokes I’d been too depressed to tell the last few days. I was in a good mood; I felt like a newsie again. And life improved even more when I went to Tibby’s for lunch. Mary was there, holding my vest. “I thought you might need,” was all she said before we were kissing. Life was good. Mary Buettner was back. The End |