Santa Came to Central Park...
(The REAL Story of the Newsies Strike)
By Sarol and Tuba
It started out as an ordinary late summer day in 1899. The newsies left the Lodging House with the intent of selling papers to the people who strolled about the streets.
When they found out that the prices had been raised, Jack convinced them to go on strike, and they began to sing and dance in the streets, blocking traffic from the carriages and people who didn't want to get in the way of all the backflips.
"Ho ho ho!" Santa laughed, running in out of nowhere and doing a merry jig to join the newsies in the midst of singing The World Will Know.
A few of the newsies tripped over Santa's legs, which he'd kicked out in uncoordinated little kicks, which started a large pileup.
In the struggle to stand up, Kid Blink's eye patch fell off, revealing that both eyes were perfectly fine. "Santa!" he whined, "You just lost me half my customers!"
Meanwhile, an evil glint suddenly started in Crutchy's eye, and he started chasing after Mush and hitting him with his crutch, his leg miraculously healed.
"That's the spirit of Christmas," Santa sighed happily.
Mush began to cry after a particularily hard blow to his stomach.
On the other side of the pileup, a certain reporter was interviewing Davey.
"You like my hair?" Davey asked, batting his eyelashes and twisting a curl around his finger. "I use Pantene Pro-V for hair so healthy it shines."
"Davey, stay on topic," Jack broke in. "After a long day of striking, us newsies are hungry. That's why I eat Hungry Jack TV dinners." He winked at the camera, and Davey, angry that he'd stolen the attention from him tackled Jack and they fought it out.
"Hey, Santa!" Race finally said. "I know you're a jolly old man who brings cheer to all the children of the world, but dear me, you're ruining the song!"
"Oy there, little fellow!" Santa chortled. "Oh! You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is-"
Santa was cut off when Les hit him repeatedly with his little wooden sword. "Cowboy was singing!" he shouted, "And you cut him off!"
"Sorry, go on, Cowboy," Santa said, tipping his furry red hat and walking away, leaving a trail of cookie crumbs behind him.
The song resumed, but was interrupted again by the sound of bells over head.
"What's that?" asked Spot, who had suddenly appeared in Manhattan for no reason at all. A few giddy girls, dressed in futuristic clothes from 2003 appeared just as suddenly and noticed him, and started screaming and trying to kiss him, chasing him away.
"Look in the sky!" Mush pointed to Santa's sleigh. "It's a bird!"
"No, stupid," said Race. "It's a plane, whatever that is."
"Maybe it's Denton," Davey sighed.
"I'm Santa!" the old man yelled, peaking down from his sleigh. He leaned a little too far out though, and fell down into the arms of the Horace Greeley statue.
"Santa!" Davey whined. "Now we have to start all over again on our song!"
"I give up," said Jack. "Going on strike is too hard. We can't even get through the song. I'm going to Santa Fe."
"Well that's fine! Cuz we don't need you!" Davey yelled after him. "We don't need you!"
Santa shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I guess my work here is done, kids," he said. "Merry Christmas!"
"It's summer," Kid Blink said.
"Cowboy's gone!" Les wailed, hitting random people with his stick.
"But how can the strike be over?" the Delancy brothers said, dragging Sarah in from around the corner. "We didn't even get to beat up Davey!"
"And now who will ever want to kiss me?" ?Sarah whined.
The bicycle brigade came riding from around the corner. "I'll kiss you!" one of them said, swooping Sarah up onto the back of their bicycle and riding off into the horizon.
"I just love happy endings," Mush sighed.
Santa shrugged. "Whatever blows your hair back, kid," he said, tying on his super-hero cape and flying off into the sky.
"We don't really need more money," said Kid Blink.
"And I'm happy with no rights," said Davey.
Meanwhile, Pulitzer lowered his binoculars from his room where he'd been spying on the newsies. "Good job, Jonathon," he said evilly. "You were right. Hiring Santa to work for me was a great plan."
Little did he know Santa was on his roof that very minute vacuuming money out from his vaults with a most advanced Dust Buster.
When all the money was gone, he flew over the newsies and dropped the money on them, shouting, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
The newsies collected the money, and even though Race blew most of it at the tracks, they lived happily ever after. Pulitzer never noticed he was poor because Jonathon dipped into his own personal savings to make sure his boss could live comfortably. So everyone won in the end, except for Denton. No one ever did figure out what happened to him.

The End.