OF THE LAWS AND CUSTOMS AMONG THE ELDAR PERTAINING TO MARRIAGE AND OTHER MATTERS RELATED THERETO.
Below lies a collection of notes by JRR Tolkien on the Laws and customs of Elves, these had been edited by his son Christopher Tolkien in the Book The History of Middle Earth | Volume 10. Morgoth's Ring. Though I have further edited these notes and added others form various sources for easy almost idiot-proof and quick lookup for LOTR Rpers.
For more detailed notes one the following subjects you can purchase the book form any bookshop =D (UK= �9.99. Canada = $23.95)
Growing Up.
Elves grow far slower than humans but their minds grow quicker than that of men. Elven Children learn to speak before they are a year old and in the same time learn to walk and dance (as they master their bodies very quickly). Though there is no difference between men and elves in early youth as elf-children are delighted by the world around them. Though when a human child turns 3 years old they start to grow faster coming to their full height (21 years) while elves the same age in years will look only 7 years old, though elven children would have more knowledge. Not until elves are 50 do they start to mature into adolescence gaining their stature and shape. Though it would take a hundred years untilly they are fully grown.
Marriage and Begetting of Children.
Usually marriage for elves is in their youth or soon after they turn 50. Elves could choose their partners in early youth, as children or whenever they desire to be married and where of a fitting age (over 50). When married they tend to have very few children but these are very dear to the parents.
No Elf would say he possessing them (aka "these are my children") but will say "three children have been added unto me" or "are with me" or "are in my house". The families or houses are held together by love and a deep feeling of kinship in the mind and body, elven children are very protected and guarded. Inotherwords very bad parenting if your elf child is seen my strangers, men or enemies.
It was very rare to have more than 4 children in any elven home as the number grew less over the years as in the beginning elves where eager to increase their kind. Feanor is the only elf known to have seven children and there is no record of any surpassing him.
Elves only marry once in life for love or free will on either part (as there could be arranged marriages) though when a shadow fell on the race they can be corrupted but there are hardly any reports on deeds of lust among the eldar. Though marriage apart from ill chance or strange fates was a natural course of life amongst the race. It took place like this; when a pair had betrothed they waited judgement of their parents.
In due time once agreement from parents, the betrothal was announced at a meeting and feast for both the families concerned and the engraded couple would give each other a silver ring. According to the laws the betrothal was made to stand for one year at least but often went on for longer. Then during this time if the pair where to stop the marriage the silver ring would be taken off and melted down never to be used again. By right a revoke could happen from either party but many elves do not err lightly. Though if one was rejected it could cause grief and disorder amongst the elves but mostly it is the elves spirits that held the love for each other.
After that point and the two are still together then they would have their wedding. The families would share another feast and then the marriage celebrated. After everyone has eaten the betrothed pair stand with the mother of the bride and father of the bridegroom who joins their hands and blesses them. No mortal has ever heard this blessing but it is said that; The mother would ask Varda to be a named witness and Manwe by the father and the name of their children. The couple then gave each other back their silver rings (and treasured them) then exchange thing gold rings which where placed on the index finger of the right hand. It was also custom that the bride's mother would give the bridegroom a jewel on a chain or collar, and the groom's father the same for the bride (sometimes the gifts where given before the feast. EG: Galadriel in the place of her daughter (Arwen's mother) giving Aragorn a bridal gift for eager the wedding to be soon finished.)
These ceremonies where not necessary but where gracious by which the parents love was raised and the union recognised that the two houses had joined together. It was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage and then afterwards an indissoluble bond was made. It is held very ungracious for the couple to not do any of the ceremonies or witness (but must do the blessing and naming of the names), though in times of trouble/in exile/fleeing/wandering marriages could be done like that.
For the conception and birth of a child was a year between so that the birthday of an elfling where the same or near so as it's begetting. As it is the conception that is remembered each year. Most births happen in the spring. Though it seems that elves don't grow old like humans as the years go on there are changes of desire and thought on the spirit of the elves so their impulses, mood and their bodies change; so the desired to have children might fade from their minds.
The eldar say that the begetting and further more the rearing of children that a greater share and strength of their being (body and mind) are put more into it than that of mortals. For that reason elves don't have many children and many in their youth. But whatever age they where married children where born within a short space of years (mortal terms is actually a long time) after the wedding. The power of generation would remain with them for a very long time unless their will and desire is not satisfied then the mind would turn to other joys. The union of love was a great delight and joy to elves sand the "days of children" as they say remain in their memory as the most happiest time of life which their very nature urges them to fulfil. Though when a couple are married forever they don't have to really live together all them time. Though without the chances of separation the husband and wife's spirits are bounded together and are always united. It is considered a grievous thing that if the wedded pair are separated during the bearing of a child or in the first years of their child's youth lasted, that's why elves only had children during good and peaceful times if they could.
Naming of Elven-children.
Soon after the birth the child was named. It was the right of the Father to announce the first name. Though the name was often the mother's choice but it was held by right for the father to devise the name of the first son or sons and the mother to devise the name of the first daughter or daughters. But in all cases it was the father to announce it to all, so it was called the father-name or first name. It always had a meaning and was known words. This name was always used first before another name though it remained unchanged because it was not the child's choice. Though for every elf-child had the right to also name himself/herself. The first ceremony of the announcement of the "father-name" was called Essecarme or "Name-making". Later there was another ceremony called Essecilme or "Name-choosing". There was no period of time between these two events this could not take place until the child had mastered the individual pleasure in sounds and form of words and their language (mostly full mastered at the age 7 years old) and personality in words. For the second name a child choose for it's self was normally framed by the language used in that day or a name that was already known with even some modification of old name. Both of these names were "real names" not nicknames, the father name was public for everyone the name the child chooses was private especially when used by it's self. Chosen names where regarded by elves as their personal property, like rings, cups, weapons or other things that they lend or share with family and friends. The
use chosen name except by parents, siblings was a token of closest intimacy and love when permitted to be used. So it was thought to be an insulting if the name was used without permission. Because elves live so long they can after any time wish to give themselves a new name. There are also added names one called the "mother-name" which the mother gave their children special names of her choosing. The most notable of these was the names of insight and foresight. In the hour of the birth or one some other occasion of moment the mother might give a name to her child, indicating some dominant feature of their nature as noticed by her, or a foresight of a special fate that might happen in their child's life. These name has authority and were regarded as a nickname when given and these where public and where placed right after the father-name. Though when the child grows and shows more character she might modify the name. Though insight names hold a very high position next to the father name.
The Differences between the Neri and Nissi (Men and Women).
In all things not concern in the making of children the males and females of elves are equal unless it is said that it is the women make new things and for the most part carry the child and give birth but the males help create and teach the children. There is nothing that a male can do that a female cannot think or do but there are some natural differences and preference that the men and women have established by custom. For arts of healing and everything that touches the body are mostly practised by the women where the elven-men bore arms at need. But the dealing in death, even when lawful or under necessity, diminished the power of healing, that the goodness of the women in the matter tended not to go to war or hunt than any power that went with their womanhood. Though in straits or desperate defence, the women fought bravely there is less difference in strength and speed that had not had children. Though elven-men were also great healers and skilled in the knowledge of living bodies though these men would abstain from hunting and would not go to war unless as a last resort.
The making of bread is done by men but the making of Lembas are an ancient law reserved to women and only they know how to make it. Though the cooking and preparing of food was a great delight and pleasure for the men. Elven-women where skilled in tending of fields, gardens, playing musical instruments and in the spinning, weaving, fashioning and adornment of all threads and cloths. Also in the matters of lore, the histories of elves and family history and descent are held in their memory. The men are more skilled as blacksmiths and jewellery and carvers of wood and stone. It is mostly them who compose music and make the instruments or make up new ones. They are chief poets, students of languages and inventors of words. They can also delight forestry and in the lore of wild and seek friendship of all things that grow and live in the woods. But with all things with labour and play or deeper knowledge concerning the life of the World and may at different times be pursued by either of the genders.
Coming soon: OF DEATH AND THE SEVERANCE OF FEA(spirit) AND HRONDO(body)
Just as soon as I can figure out how too make it simple as possible.
Oxford Language Professor of many years notes being translated by errrmm a simple minded college student fan =D
