Leaders

The Sasquatch Militia is equipped with a highly trained and intelligent leadership Structure (Unlike that of the NWO, who basically improvise everything in order to promulgate as many pathogens of intolerance as possible). Here is the hierarchy of elders, and leaders.

Secretary General - Lil Rob

A man of Great Character and Virtue. His eyes are as quick as his reactions, so don't try anything silly, or you will be terminated. A rapacious appetite for tolerance is the causation for his struggle to free the oppressed Sasquatches of the World. He enjoys food, water, shelter, and toilet. He enjoys listening to the psychotic ramblings of the intolerant elite as they pontificate on the nightly news and radio. A staunce advocate for tolerance, he also holds the Sasquatch Militia record for most steak taco's eaten at nine.

Secretary of Peace - Paul

He spends to much time in the woods you say? Haha he laughs you away, you feeble humanoid scum. He may be the minister of Peace but he still knows how to boogie with the best Sasquatch and Human warriors. You can find him near Army Bases protesting the war against Sasquatches, by humans. Paul also is fond of his quest to educate the youngsters of the world about the dangers of 'beatin it'. He is also in charge of a national crusade to eradicate the mailboxes of the intolerant elite, so they can no longer communicate effeciently and to slow down and eventually halt the mass mailing of psycho-babble by the plutocrats.

Supreme and Ultimate Commander of All Forces. His Catholic Majesty Kyle

A man hardened by years of war and battle, he intended to settle down and live a life of tranquility and Love. But when the Sasquatch Militia asked for his help, he was glad to join the struggle for peace and equality. Kyle also owns a licensed day care center which serves the needs of yound Sasquatch Mothers and children. Please call 911-7865 for more information. He currently resides in Battle Creek Regional Park, near the picnic pavilion. He has done several reconneisance missions to such intolerant bastions as San Francisco, Disney World, and Washington D.C. He enjoys talking to himself and reminds the youngsters that it only takes 6 inches of intolerance - to drown in it.

Regional Commander 9th Grade - Chett

In this 1979 photo Chett was stil a private in the Militia, but he quickly ascended up the ranks, and now leads all 9th graders and is our regional commander in charge of New Recruits. Though he still is very tight, and unreceptive to jokes and such. He enjoys being tickled, but not in certain places, so beware. Chett is currently the only member of the Militia who has his teeth sharpened on a daily basis. Chett is basically always short on cash, because he donates it all for charitable causes which fund the quest for tolerance. Remember - Chett Loves You! So be happy.

Secretary of Doom - John

After almost being killed by a mob of angry humans, John decided it would be best if he left his primitive woodland habitat in favor of the city. He now hoids boot camp for all the new Recruits, and will non-violently hurt you, if he is angered. But John is rarely provocated, because of intensive violence resistance traning which he undertook under the guidence of a Japanese trainer. John enjoys dropping bowling balls on his feet in order to strengthen his conviction to the quest for tolerance and equity.

Secretary of Love, Enviromental Affairs - Brock

After being severely injured by a trucker in Tibet, Brock decided to leave his Buddhist monestary and bring his message of Love and Environmental consciousness to the Sasquatch Milita. He quickly made his presence known by making loud clicking noises during Hierarchy meetings. He likes to spend most of his time scavenging beaches for loose change and other valuables. Brock enjoys denying the carnal sensualities of this earth in favor of less hedonic and spirtually fulfilling exercises such as stamp collecting and bird watching. He currently hold the Sasquatch Militia record for the most days without sleeping - 5.

Secretary of Propaganda - Fadi

Rarely seen away from his Stationary, where he writes brilliant propaganda and keeps up with the news you may have never heard about. A proponent of free-speech, he enjoys the truth, and propagating it around the world. Some of his most notorious propaganda includes 100 and 1 ways to delimb a human, The quest for tolerance doesen't end when we use the bathroom, and Dogs mans best friend and Sasquatches worst enemy. He enjoys long walks and an occasional hug. But don't hug too hard, its an obvious sign of an assasination attempt in order to destroy the best writer in the World! Currently he is working on his new Autobiography - Why you Suck and I don't.

General - Nate

Unable to do long division, Nate quickly realized school wasn't his thing, and joined the Sasquatch Militia. Despite that fact that he was frequently disciplined for getting in fights with hateful humans, he quickly became a general, and a pimp. He spends most of his time at that dirt pile that used to be Hardees. Nate also enjoys walking... Walking all over the evil ooze of intolerance which is seeping into our once puritannical society. Nate advises all tolerant people to buy gas masks in order to avoid breathing in the dark cloud of intolerance, bigotry, and hatred.

Admiral of All Naval Forces - Tim

Exposed to water on a regular basis for 360 years as a firefighter, Tim was a natural fit for Admiral of All Naval Forces. He now fights the Fires of Intolerance and bigotry wherever they may burn. He enjoys educating youngsters on how to prevent forest fires from harming Sasquatch Habitat. Tim also runs a demolition business. Yup he's in the business of destroying all vestiges of intolerance.

Secretary of Commerce - Mike

An original member of the Hierarchy, Mike took a brief leave of absence after being brutally mind-raped by pro-NWO agents. He is now using his business talents to further the influence of the Sasquatch Militia in new markets across Asia, Africa, and South America. He is the creator of the Sasquatch Militia T-shirt and loves to play Bingo. Currently Mike is working to infiltrate a local restaurant which is suspected of being a mind-control center and harboring pro-NWO agents. Mike also is working on a plan to introduce low-cost tolerant products to America in order to provide an economic alternative to the millions of pro-intolerance products on the Market today.

Spiritual Leader - The Holy Phajer

The Holy Phajer enjoys contemplating the theology of Tolerance and debating pro-intolerance NWO religious leaders who pose as priests, rabbi's, sheiks, scholars, lawyers, and guru's. He finds it important to get the word out about tolerance and equality and has demonstrated so by never shutting up, even when the NWO was persistent. Calling him a 'threat to public peace and an uncivilized heathen'. He has held private meetings with Archbishop Harry Flynn, Lutheran Bishops, and the Dalai Lama.

Minister of Tolerance - Dave

The Disciple onto the gentiles (non-sasquatch), Dave will continue the centuries old quest for peaceful coexistence between Sasquatch and Homo Sapien. He began his life as a 1 pound 3 once baby, and has since skyrocketed to 8'1. He is the epitome of a proud, dedicated, and determined hierarchy member, embarking on cosmopolitan crusades for peace. He is our representative to the U.N, NATO, PETA, and other human institutions, if and when we are admitted. The Ambassador of Tolerance to the masses, he enjoys visiting with the oppressed and repressed people of Washington D.C, who have been under federalist domination for 3 centuries.

Regional Commander of Saint Croix River Valley - Mark

Having lived near the intolerant agitators of the River Valley, he learned quickly the need for tolerance and mercy. Moving to the River Valley as a young child presented a challenge for the tolerant-prone Commander. He soon foon a local pro-tolerance clique known as the 'liberators of the lost' and lead them to successfully establish a tolerant outpost in Afton, on the Saint Croix. After the Sasquatch Militia advent, he quickly hoped on the bandwagon and joined his organization, quickly appointed and then later elected, as a Regional Commander, he has a pimpmobile outfitted with the latest anti-NWO technology.

More leaders on next Page!

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