Sasquatch Press - The Sasquatch Militia, in partnership with the Cascadian government, has announced its plans to send a rocket to the moon.
The Rocket, code named Rocky, is currently being built by a cadre of ex-soviet Nuclear scientists and Yeti developers. It will be equipped with enough fuel to reach the moon, and provisions for three years of survival on the lunar surface. Rocky is also laced with state of the art technology featuring a cd player, custom speakers, satellite TV (with HBO and Showtime), and a refrigerator.
The crew of the Rocket was selected based on extensive and rigorous testing of thousands of applicants. They are among the most potent and lethal astronauts/cage fighters known to man. They were subjected to thousands of Tests, many of which served no purpose whatsoever, and excruciating torture.
Serving as Captain and the Rocky pilot will be Alpha 1, Earl of Cacaddon Cascadia, Sir Brock. Bravo 7, Lord Nate of Saint Paul will serve as co-pilot and leader of the Moon base design squadron. And finally, Serving as mission cook and leader of the intergalactic Human-Alien breeding and intermarriage program, will be Commander Tyler of the Sasquatch Militia Naval Forces,
Unfortunately, due to design and production constraints, there will be no return capability for the crew of Rocky to return to Earth. Therefore the Militia has decided to go ahead and colonize the moon 3 years ahead of initially planned. The Militia moon colony will feature a giant laser capable of destroying all life on earth, Arnold Shwartzenegger, Pizza, Aliens, Michael Jackson, and Tennis Courts.
The purpose of the our Moon colony will be threefold. First, to establish a Sasquatch Militia moon base outside of the NWO realm of influence and corruption. Second, to serve as a cosmic outpost of egalitarianism and tolerance to which the rest of the universe will look to for inspiration and hope. Third, To establish a breeding program between Humans and Aliens in order to establish some esoteric goal (and because one of our lead investors wanted us too).
