NATO refuses to allow Sasquatch Militia to join!
5/14/2002
Today the Sasquatch Militia was denied entry into the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, in a move motivated by what experts at the Sasquatch Militia University (SMU) are calling ''the latest wave of anti-sasquatch hate in europe". NATO refused to explicate and said "what is the Sasquatch Militia" in an effort to avoid accepting obvious discrimination and sasophobia! Meanwhile protests erupted in every major european city, demanding that the Sasquatch Militia be denied membership. Paris, London, and Moscow were filled with anti-Sasquatch bigots, and haters. NATO, obviously sensing that admitting the Sasquatch Militia to the organization would ruin its reputation among the mobs of cities, caved into the pressure, and voted unanimously to once again bar the Sasquatch Militia from membership, in what has become an almost yearly ritual. The European Union (aka the NWO) released an official press statement that said "The EU strongly supports the decision of NATO to bar 'the Sasquatch Militia' from the organization. Groups without officially recognized countries should not be allowed in the community of nations". Obviously a conspiracy between the major anti-sasquatch groups in the world, the United Nations (UN - aka the spokesman of the NW0) applauded the decision, exclaiming " Why is this even an issue? Do we also allow the Mutant Militia, Freak Force, or Ant Army membership?" This sad statement represented the UN's commitment to baring all primates, and animals from the world community unless they are Homo Sapiens! The Sasquatch Militia responded as saying "Well, when the world is ruled by the opulent sasophobic class, what do you expect? The communistic sasophobes have obviously seized power in these organizations, replacing the capitalist haters, who were less ardent in there opposition to the Sasquatch Militia." The Hierarchy of the Sasquatch Militia responded unanimously and said "The Sasquatch Militia takes these matters very seriously, they show a continuation of anti-sasquatch feelings in Europe and the world at large. These feelings will continue to grow, unless the Sasquatch Militia is allowed access to the world community. Therefore the Militia will continue to press for equal rights and representation at the UN and EU in the coming years." The Secretary General was unavailable for comment, but the Secretary of Peace was overhead talking about how "this sucks" and "man, I'm sick of this B.S playa hating dog". General Nate put special forces on alert and sent extra troops to guard the Cascadian Border, fearing an attack by Canada. Members of the Sasquatch Militia are expected to be on High alert, and ready for call up within 12 hours if the enemies of the Militia decide to strike surreptitiously overnight.