Assasination Attempt Fails!
November 22nd 2002!

The Secretary General nearly lost his life yesterday as an assasin viciously attacked his car.

As Lil Rob was traveling down Mcknight road last night, an NWO brainwashed Trash Can lurched out of the darkness and smashed through Lil Rob's window and nearly slaughtered his younger brother. A violent struggle then ensued between Lil Rob's brother and the trash can. It grew arms and began to swallow Lil Rob's brother, but Lil Rob quickly dispatched of the trash can by spitting on it. As it jumped back outside the window and assumed its normal standing position, attempting to promulgate an image of peace, tolerance, and harmlessness.

The Trash can was apparantly driven to attempt the assasination because of Radio Talk show hosts who instigate hate by commenting on daily events, politics, and national security. Lil Rob believes such individuals are responsible for a spike in death threats against him and his family because of the vituperation they propagate.