More Sasophobic Media Bias!

November 17th 2002!

The Following anti-Sasquatch media article was found on the official canadian government over the weekend. It demonstrates the saturation of anti-Sasquatch bias throughout the world. Sasquatch Militia retorts in Orange.

VANCOUVER - A flurry of Sasquatch sightings on Vancouver Island and near Squamish on the Lower Mainland have revived hopes, among those who believe in the paranormal, that evidence of a mythical North American ape may yet be found.

Paranormal? Mythical? Is this what she denotes as the 12,000,000 or so Sasquatches that inhabit Cascadia?

"It has been really quiet for a long time, but now we're getting something of a comeback for Sasquatch sightings," John Kirk, president of the British Columbia Cryptozoology Club said yesterday.

This coming from a Cryptozoologist who stalks unknowing sasquatches and captures incriminating and obscene photos and videos of them?

Mr. Kirk, whose organization seeks to document credible sightings by interviewing eyewitnesses and searching for physical evidence, said reports of "great hairy beasts" near Squamish and Port Alberni are encouraging.

"Interviewing eyewitnesses and searching for physical evidence" code words for Sasquatch sexual harassment!

"What we are really hoping for is that someone will have seen one of these animals rub against a tree or some branches so that we might recover a hair sample, or even some blood, that would allow us to do some DNA testing," he said.

I'd bet you'd love to see a Sasquatch maim itself on a tree, you sadistical maniac.

The latest reports came in from the east coast of southern Vancouver Island this week, where three people say they saw strange creatures between Port Alberni and Tofino. Another individual has reported hearing the animals howling in the forest.

Sasquatches don't howl at night, they sleep. Unless of course their being harassed by Cryptozoologists or naive, intrusive, and encroaching campers.

The Alberni Valley Times said in a story that Arnold Frank and Patrick Frank, his nephew, claim to have seen the creature twice.

Exactly. First you see a Sasquatch crossing the road and then return and stalk it for 2 months. Your bound to see it again after chasing it for a couple months.

The first encounter was in the bush: They heard a crashing sound and glimpsed the creature through the trees.

Did you see a zipper?

"We just saw some real big orange eyes, real high off the ground," Arnold Frank said.

Anyones eyes are orange when your shining a giant orange spotlight in their face.

The two men reported seeing the same creature run into the woods a few nights later when they drove along the highway.

Did the Sasquatch report you driving along the highway? Why do we need Big Brother tracking the actions of its native Sasquatches anyway?

"We both figured it was too big to be a bear," Mr. Frank said. "And bears don't walk on two legs."

Unless of course its Yogi bear.

They estimated the creature to be about 2.4 metres tall.

Translation - About 2.4 meters tall.

"To see something that big would scare anybody," said Mr. Frank, whose brother, Alex Frank, has reported hearing creatures in the thick woods in the area.

I bet you following the Sasquatch around scares him to.

"There's a weird howling sound going on around Indian Bay during the day," he said.

It's probably Celine Dion singing the anti-Sasquatch Canadian national anthem.

The paper also reported that an elderly woman claims to have seen a creature crossing the road in front of her car: "The gigantic biped allegedly stopped in front of her car, and looked directly at her before disappearing into the bush."

Ahh too bad you didn't kill it. Notice the Sasquatch stopped, the murderous elderly women didn't.

Jessie Hamilton, an elder with the Hupacasath First Nation, said there are references to Sasquatch encounters in oral history, including one story about a man who wrapped himself in a blanket to hide, only to be picked up and twirled in the air before being set back down.

Sasquatches can't have fun?

Mr. Kirk said there have not been many sightings of Sasquatch on the east coast of Vancouver Island, but he is encouraged by the recent accounts.

Encouraged? Did it encourage him to buy a rifle and attempt to murder Sasquatches in the name of 'Science'?

"It's not an area that's been great for sightings. There might have been one or two over the years. But ... we think it's worth following up.

Following up with what? A giant anti-Sasquatch man-hunt?

"The description of orange eyes gives them some credibility," he said. "There's a reflective characteristic for Sasquatch eyes from all the sightings. ... Many people report red, glowing eyes, and orange would just be a variation of that."

Many people also have large red spotlights which they use to harass Sasquatches.

Mr. Kirk said the Vancouver Island reports follow closely on alleged encounters in the Squamish area, in which a larger animal was seen with two that are smaller.

Their called kids Mr. Kirk. Sasquatches take care of their young, unlike humans who institutionalize them in the public schools.

Mr. Kirk said it could be a female with juveniles.

Duh!

"One report was by a woman who was camping. She was wakened by sounds in the early morning, looked out of her tent and saw the three animals," he said.

Curly, Larry, and Mo?

He said several other sightings from the same area have independently described an apparent adult with two juveniles.

Leave the creatues alone for heaven's sake!

"This seems to be the same group of animals seen repeatedly," he said.

There seems to be large groups of humans stalking them.

Reports of Sasquatch go back in B.C. history to undated native accounts from before European contact. But despite hundreds of expeditions by amateur Sasquatch hunters, no one has ever come back with any hard evidence of the mythical creatures.

'Expeditions' = Sasquatch being chased by rapacious human in the name of science.

Some people have recorded video footage, and others have collected casts of footprints, but in all cases the evidence has been suspect or discredited as a hoax.

Because Sasquatches don't exist right? More denial from the Canadian government.

Mr. Kirk acknowledged that no matter how numerous or how intriguing the sighting reports have been, nobody has ever come up with proof that Sasquatch exist.

You want proof? Visit http://www.oocities.org/sasquatch_militia for proof.